Phantasmagoria

Natsume Yuujinchou

Chapter 12

The next thing Homura noticed when he stirred was how light his body felt, and judging by the amount of bright white light showing through the cracks of his eyes he knew that he was in a room. And that it was night. He groaned, and turned away from the light, wanting to get more sleep. He didn't give a damn about the youkai anymore; as long as it's gone he's okay with it.

He also had the apparent ignorance as to where he is at. Sometimes he thinks that his tendency to let things just slide past like this, especially when he's had to go through much serious situations, is getting a little hard to restrain. But when he finally opened his eyes and looked around he saw that he was in his own apartment. He sat up groggily, and saw Natsume curled up in another couch, watching TV—though he had set it at a really low volume.

"Ah, Homura! Sorry if this bothered you."

"No, it didn't. I didn't even realize it was on."

Natsume nodded. "So. How do you feel?" He turned to look at him seriously.

"I'm feeling much better now, thanks. Just a little tired."

"Oh really. Do you think you can go to school tomorrow?"

"Mm-hmm." Homura felt itchy and started scratching his back, and realized that he was still in his school uniform. Natsume noticed, and laughed dryly.

"Sorry about that. I didn't think I was that chummy to be able to freely walk around this place. That would also explain for the fact that Suzuya dumped you on the couch."

"Oh… Where is he?"

"He already left. Hey, do you mind if I stay here tonight?"

"Eh? ! Wha… But why?"

"Natori-san told me to keep an eye on you. Plus, he already called Touko-san and I got permission so I'm not going back," Natsume clarified firmly.

Homura lowered his gaze. So now he's staying at my place? After a second of hesitation, he nodded, and got up. "Have you showered?" he asked.

"Nope. Not yet."

"Okay. I'll get the bath ready, then you go shower. I'll prepare dinner and spread out a futon for you. You didn't bring anything with you right? Give me your clothes and I'll wash them," Homura said, stretching.

"Y-You don't need to," Natsume said hurriedly. "If you give me permission to mess with your stuff a little I can do all of them myself, besides, you're not well yet!"

Homura shook his head defiantly. "No. You're my guest here. And you didn't give me a chance to do anything last time, so now I'm repaying you. And don't bother with permission. You're free here. There's no one other than me anyway. I have nothing to hide." He shrugged.

"But—"

"Listen, if you interrupt for even a little I… won't give you any dinner."

"No, I don't really mind…"

"Gahh, why are you so against it? !"

"Then why are you being so stubborn too?"

Homura pouted. "Fine. You can help me. But don't think it'll just end that easy."

Homura purposely banged his head on the coffee table, exhausted. It never occurred to him that Natsume could be so… persistent when it comes to certain things. He insisted on filling up the bath himself, he shooed Homura aside when he was trying to put laundry in the wash, he didn't let go of the knife when he wanted to peel the vegetables, he didn't budge when he tried to persuade him to watch TV, and he wanted to set the table himself. Homura honestly couldn't understand how in earth he could survive without having people take advantage of him that way.

He sighed. They had just finished dinner. He felt like he wanted to get to sleep right away, but he didn't exactly want to abandon Natsume in this unknown apartment either. He had also noticed that Natsume didn't stray too far. I guess he's just really considerate, he thought.

"Natsume?" he called without looking up.

"Mm?" Natsume was watching a drama series starring Natori. He thought of telling Homura about him, but decided not to as he wanted to see his reaction tomorrow.

"Wanna look around?"

"No need," he answered politely.

"… Remember when I told you that if you came over anytime I'll play for you?"

"Ah… Music?" Honestly Natsume thought it would be great, but he didn't want to burden him. Like Natori said, he had to get Homura to rest somehow, but he seemed like the type that can't sit still doing nothing. He kept on trying to get him not to help him, either. Natsume only realized moments after that he was exactly like him. Kind, but also pushy. He almost smiled when he remembered Nyanko-sensei lecturing him about not being able to go through a day without getting involved in meaningless youkai business.

"Un." Homura nodded. "Come on."

He led Natsume to another section of his apartment where people won't usually notice if they were only in the living room and dining area. There wasn't exactly a motive to do so, but he didn't really have any knowledge of room furnishing so he just arranged stuff where he liked.

Natsume looked around in awe. It was like a mini gallery in there. The piano sat off to one side, and pictures decorated the walls. He noticed a photograph collage on one wall. Mostly there were pictures of him, and Natsume guessed that the man with seemingly-present authority and the beautiful woman are Homura's parents. He didn't see anybody that looked like siblings. He also noticed a guy that looked around his age. He guessed that it's a good friend, judging by the way they stuck together and smiled. Natsume had never seen Homura smile like that yet before, and the Homura in the pictures seemed to possess a slightly-different aura than the present one. He wondered why, but it wasn't his place to question.

Homura noticed Natsume staring at his picture wall, and felt a little apprehensive. Instead he went on and showed him who the people were. "—and this is Kagurazaka Seiji. He's my friend."

"He seems to be a radiant person, doesn't he?"

"No actually, he's too radiant. And spoiled."

Natsume laughed. "How did he feel about you moving away? If you're his best friend he must feel devastated." He thought of Nishimura and Kitamoto's relationship. Maybe Kitamoto would actually feel relieved if he'd be able to get away from Nishimura, but he didn't think Nishimura would just sit there and take it in.

Homura's smile froze on his face, but Natsume didn't notice it. "Um… He's…" He swallowed thickly. "D-Dead," he whispered.

"Eh…?" Natsume felt a wave of guilt rushing over him, and quickly apologized.

"Hehe, don't worry. You didn't know. I'll tell you about him next time. Come on, here's my piano."

"N… N-Natori-san is… Natori Shuuichi… He's the one…" Homura said blankly. They had just met up and as promised, said actor treated them to a meal with Homura being all awkward and disbelieving; and now, he and Natsume were on their way back home. Suzuya had flew ahead and disappeared whereas Nyanko-sensei had already trotted off to the woods before anybody could stop him.

Natsume laughed. "Don't worry about it too much, Homura, or else it gets even more unbelievable. I was pretty shocked myself too when I first knew."

"How did you know him?"

"Yeah, well," Natsume averted his gaze sideways. "It all started with a paper doll that literally kidnapped me and brought me to him."

Homura blinked. "Spare me the details, please. Let me wrap my head around this much for a while."

The other teen shrugged. "You're the one who wanted to know anyway." He shifted, and Homura could see the green edges of the Yuujinchou Suzuya had mentioned to him the other day. It seems like it's a book of contracts, only Natsume's cancelling them by returning all the youkais' names. Because of that book the name Natsume had grown to be of power again around the area. Truthfully Homura didn't find anything distinctive enough about that knowledge that made him feel any closer to Natsume than he is recently, but maybe if he could share the secret too, he could also share the burden. More than anything Homura would know that overwhelming feeling of wanting to just shout at somebody's face that he can fucking see weird things and not being able to in the end because of the possible outcomes of shock and rejection.

"Natsume?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you show me your 'Yuujinchou'? I wanna see how it looks like inside."

Natsume's eyes instantly snapped wide open as he jerked his head to look at the teen smiling beside him. How could he know? Nobody could have known. None of the youkai even dropped by these past couple of days.

"Don't… get so shocked. I see what you see too, remember? I share this world's view with you. Little youkai and big youkai, enchanting ones as well as evil spirits, we see them all. That's why, I think it's better for you to at least let me in on your experiences. Actually Natsume, I saw a dream the other day. When I slept at your house. I don't know whether it's a natural ability for people like us but I can sometimes see youkai's dreams, or even humans' pasts, if they are close enough. It was a very sad one. Things you couldn't tell anybody. Things you had no choice but to hide to protect the ones you love. Friends you sometimes had to leave behind in the dark to tend to something far more serious. I understand pretty much everything. And I really admire Natsume Takashi for having such a bold and kind heart. You always think for others before yourself. Even though it's very admirable, I also think it's very reckless."

"… What are you trying to say?"

Homura thought a while before answering. "Well, since I'm just an outsider, and I don't know everything that's going on, but I think that if you keep up this front, you'll just get crushed by all the pressure in the end. When I was younger, I didn't even try to make friends. I usually just sit in the farthest corner, looking out the window, listening in on everybody's conversations. Because honestly, I just don't care anymore. But you, I can see the amount of hard work you put in."

What is with Homura, talking out of the blue like this? I never heard him talk so much like this before… And… everything he says… hits the mark spot on. Natsume grimaced as he grew uneasy.

Homura had stopped abruptly, so Natsume sneaked a peek to see what happened, only to see the other leaning sideways and resting heavily against his chest.

"Homura? !"

"Sorry. Help me sit down for a while," he muttered.

Natsume did as he was told, guiding Homura to the side of the road and sitting on the grass. Instead Homura laid back and stared up the sky, the colors blending in, slowly darkening, slowly revealing the twinkling stars that would soon show up. Natsume looked at his friend with worry.

"You saw the pictures he hung up on that wall, didn't you?" By then Suzuya didn't care if he was messing up his role-playing. He had possessed him as soon as the two humans let their guard down and thought he had already gone. Soon he would have to get out of that body that belonged to Akatsuki Homura or it would put a strain on the human. He would have to convey what he wanted to say with haste and without ambiguity.

Of course, Natsume instantly knew. Those obvious blue eyes that looked up to his seriously in the next second confirmed it. Slowly he nodded, wondering where this was going.

"That other human, Kagurazaka Seiji?"

Nod.

"He's dead, right?"

Another nod.

"I am a high-class youkai, so I have certain abilities myself. This particular human was as interesting to me as a child is to, say, fireworks. The expression on his face, his behavior, his feelings. Everything. And so, I did a little snooping." 'Homura' fidgeted, but Natsume knew it was just deliberate.

"Suzuya, you shouldn't have."

"I had to. Well, curiosity may have killed the cat but it certainly didn't make a move towards this tengu yet. Back to the topic. I sorted through his memories when he was unaware, and lo, that other human was actually killed. By a youkai."

"What?"

"It's true. They were in a forest back where Homura was before this, and a youkai sent a barrage of large stones from atop a hill down where the humans were. Anyways, this friend protected him, but in the end both got involved. The youkai's main target was Homura's blood. So Kagurazaka Seiji died a vain death," Suzuya finished, an unfathomable expression settled on his face. "Look here." Natsume's attention was drawn to where Suzuya tilted his head, reached up and dragged down Homura's collar. There was a faint, but visible white scar. "This is where it bit him."

"Why are you telling me all this?" Natsume asked cautiously.

"This human, in whom I'm residing in at the moment, is completely unstable. If you show him too much emotions and complicated feelings, he's sure to break down. Since that incident his emotional state is like that of a child's, the simplest of simple emotions engraved into his soul that he could sense properly, but beyond that, nothing. They're not able to branch off elaborately into more complex feelings. They're like a blank to him. Right now he still hasn't got over his sadness, his fear, his anxiety. Yet over here, he is suddenly able to make friends, and find out somebody who can share the same view with him. You, of all people, should know. I know what I'm doing might be selfish, but…

"I need you to do me a favor, Natsume.

"Please stay away from Homura."

"What have you done to them, tengu?"

Suzuya knew that annoying voice all too well now. He ignored him, and kept on watching the moonbeams dancing and shimmering in the lake, with a few ayakashi lights randomly illuminating the area. Most of the youkai that passed by neither greeted him nor invited him to drink, after all, one that looked too much like a human—and didn't bother covering the fact—is bound to be a suspicious one indeed. But some of the kinder ones offered him sweets molded by dexterous hands, and it proved to be irresistible.

Suddenly he felt a hand grip his shoulder and turn him around roughly, backing him up against one of the trees. He felt bark itching his back. "Answer me."

Suzuya smirked. The voice instantly changed from the usual annoying and geezer-like tune to a more human-like, mature-sounding one, although rough. Of course, the shape had changed too. From a fat kitty, to a man with long white hair who stood taller and looked more muscular than he is.

"You look handsome in human form too, 'sensei'. I didn't even know you could take on human form," he said, amused.

"What, you think you're the only high-class being in here, tengu? Hah! Don't make a fool of yourself!" he hissed back.

"It's the truth. I didn't know. So, what have you come for so suddenly? Last I remembered, we don't exactly share a very 'affectionate' relationship." He wasn't usually this sarcastic, but he just couldn't help it in front of this creature. It just served to amuse him more the more he reacts.

"Like I said, what have you done to those two? ! I turn my back one second and when I return, both of them are completely out of it! Natsume won't say anything and looked like he wanted to avoid your human, while your human just looks so stupidly confused!"

Suzuya laughed. "You seem worried for Natsume. Well, I can't deny that I am, too. Yup. It might because of something I said. I apologize."

"Spit it out or I will bite you right here and right now," Madara commanded.

"I told your human to stay away from mine."

"Huh?"

"Like I said. I need your cooperation, even for just a while. Homura needs to work his feelings out before he goes on any further of this. I never knew that jazzy actor was part of the Natori clan, and if even he is involved closely with Natsume, then the Matoba clan would be too, right? I can't let him perish just like that now. There's still a lot more time for fun."

"What makes you think I'll lend a hand?"

"Easy. I'll use your human as bait and lure out the stronger youkai for the clans to notice. Won't it become a perfect revolutionary war between multiple sides now?"

Madara's grip on Suzuya's shoulder tightened. At the moment he actually felt tempted to pluck all his feathers out and humiliate him worse than any death could ever bring.

"Lay a hand on Natsume and you're dessert." He let go.

Suzuya shrugged. "Fine with me. Don't you seem to be quite close to your human, now… Be careful. He might drag you down," he said as he watched Madara's retreating figure.

"Hmph. I'm only here for the fun. And the Yuujinchou that is promised to me at his death." He transformed into the beast he was and disappeared.

"Aren't we now…" Suzuya's smile slowly dulled to a melancholic one as he stared across the waters once again, devising plans and forecasting results.

Which, of course, would effortlessly go down way, way deep into the drain because the tengu tended to forget thinking about such problematical stuff as soon as something else caught his attention. Ah, like that group bringing the dango there.

Noooo… Suzuya you're being a meanie… D: Honestly, I don't know what exactly I typed. I got stuck somewhere in the middle, then this huge inspirational bubble popped and I started typing and when it was over, this is the result. [sheepish smile]