The Absence of Shadows
Part 2
The sea at springtime.
All day it rises and falls,
yes, rises and falls.
Buson
Chris's Office
Federal Building
Wordlessly, Vin stood up and placed his hands on the warm, dark, wooden table. It was solid and stable. The sharpshooter took in a deep breath, filling his lungs up with the stale air of the office, hoping to clear his head before facing Larabee. He gave Ezra a curt nod and strode out of the room and directly into Chris's office.
Vin closed the door softly. Larabee watched him as Tanner hunched down in the seat in front of the team leader's desk. He could feel Chris's green eyes baring down on him. Finally, Vin looked up into the face of his friend. Tanner noticed Chris's anger was flaring. A growing redness in his neck went to the top of his head. His eyebrows were knitted together.
In a deathly quiet voice he asked, "Did you think I wouldn't notice?"
Vin took a moment and rubbed what he knew had to be bloodshot eyes. "Nope." He sighed. He figured since Chris knew what happened, Vin might as well be honest and not piss Larabee off with subterfuge.
Larabee seemed to deflate a little, but his face still held its crimson color. "Then what the hell did you think you were doing?" Frustrated, Chris wadded up a piece of paper and threw it across his desk. It lingered in the air before hitting the floor.
Tanner's eyes followed the paper until it hit the floor and blended into the beige colored carpeting. "I thought it was better me than Ezra." Vin swallowed the bile from his stomach as the guilt rose in him. The sharpshooter wanted to avoid the confrontation with Chris. He didn't want to hear the disappointment in his best friend's voice.
"Damn, Vin." Chris bowed his head and massaged the same shoulder that had been giving him trouble in the Larabee closed his eyes then looked back at the errant agent. "It could have killed you."
Vin closed his eyes, feeling worse at having arisen Larabee's concern. Tanner knew his heart could have went after the snort. But at that moment he knew that was the least of his problems-Ikeda, information and blowing their cover. The sharpshooter didn't want to put Chris through any anxiety. Vin gave a twisted grin. "It was a calculated risk."
The leader shook his head and got up from his chair. He turned his back towards Tanner, and took in the view out his window. "You've been spending too much time with Ezra." Chris crossed his arms before continuing. "I knew something was wrong. Couldn't figure it out until you started talking a blue streak of nonsense back there. Then it just hit me-the fuckin' cocaine."
He stared at Chris's back. Vin slid down on the chair and let his neck rest uncomfortably on the top of the metal chair. Softly he replied, "Yeah, hit me too." He had felt confident in the warehouse that he could handle the fallout of his actions. It seemed now that everything was crumbling, and doubts were eating him as to if he followed the correct course of action. "What are you going to do?" Vin sighed as he gazed at the ceiling tiles. "The others may suspect, but they'll follow your lead."
There was a long pause before Chris answered. "I'll do what's best."
Vin sat up. He felt that was his cue to leave. The sharpshooter had some thinking to do and had to get the cocaine out of his system. He stood up and took a step toward his friend. "I never said I was perfect, Cowboy." Tanner waited for a response. He turned and went to the door. "I'm taking a personal day tomorrow." Vin said as he twisted the metal knob.
"Vin, I don't know if you're gonna have a job." The words cut through the silence of the office.
The sharpshooter rested his head against the doorframe in a moment of defeat. He took in a breath to regain his composure as he opened the door. "You'll do what's best."
Tanner strode through the office, not looking into the faces of his teammates. Roughly, he punched the elevator button. It didn't light up, Vin was about to slam his fist into the uncooperative button when he saw a manicured hand firmly push the disk.
"I gotta get outta here, Ez." Vin said, without looking at the undercover agent who was by his side.
Chris's Office
Federal Building
Buck watched the sharpshooter rush through the office, and then Ezra raced after him. Wilmington played with his keyboard watching as non-sensical words turned up on the computer screen. The whole scene in the conference room had sealed it, while in the warehouse Vin had taken some cocaine and Ezra had tried to cover it up.
It didn't take much to figure out something was different about Tanner. Then Buck started to think it through and came to his conclusion. Wilmington maneuvered the mouse and clicked on the 'X' to close the program. He stretched as he got up from his chair. Buck entered Chris's office without knocking. Larabee had his head down scribbling notes roughly.
"Junior just left in a huff." Buck said as he took the seat recently vacated by Vin. He began picking the grit from his fingernails as he continued. "Ez left with him."
"Not now, Buck," the blond-haired man said without looking up.
The ladies' man was not going to let this go. As usual, Chris was trying to hide his emotional turmoil. That was worse than his angry explosions. Buck dragged the chair forward so it was closer to Larabee's desk. Buck leaned forward so he was only inches away from his friend. "I figured it out, Chris. Other guys on our team probably have too." Then Wilmington leaned back and waited.
Larabee threw his pen haphazardly against the wall. "Shit." Chris said in anger hoarse voice.
"It happens." Buck folded his arms across his chest. "He did it for good reasons." Wilmington knew Vin wouldn't just take cocaine for the heck of it. The fact that Ezra was standing by the sharpshooter was also a good sign. Buck didn't get hot and bothered about it. He trusted Vin and Ezra's instincts. If they felt Vin had to take the coke, than that was good enough for him.
"Buck, there aren't any good reasons." Chris glared at the congenial man in disbelief.
Wilmington leaned back in his seat. "He disappointed you? You thought he was lily white? He's a man, for Christ-sake." Buck couldn't understand why his friend was being so pig-headed.
"Whatever, I have some work to do." Larabee pulled another pen from the cheap mug that held some stray pencils and pens.
Buck didn't like being dismissed and couldn't believe he did not want to hash out what had happened. Vin had left in a huff. Wilmington knew something was wrong and was not about to let it drop. He recognized when Chris was being obstinate and stubborn. Damn him, Buck thought. He was going to make Larabee face the problem. "Who the hell are you Chris Larabee-the new drug czar. Think about it, all the shit you did after you lost Sarah and Adam. You sure it was all legal?"
Larabee didn't answer; he kept looking down at his desk blotter. Buck had hit a nerve and kept going. "Hell, we smoked weed together, and if I remember- we liked it." Buck recalled some lazy days that were not so long in the past. "You're also the guy who would do anything for the job." Wilmington had one more comment to make that he knew would get a reaction. "You're a lot like Vin."
"I'm a fucking ATF team leader." Chris suddenly stood up, breathing hard and fuming.
Buck stood up and smiled, happy he got some sort of reaction. "You got the fucked part right." Wilmington carefully placed the chair he had pulled forward back into place. "Better think this through before you nail Tanner's ass to the wall." He turned one more time to face his friend, stretching out his hands as if he was weighing something. "Disappointment or regret? You gotta decide what you can live with."
Josiah met Buck as he was backing out of Chris's office. Wilmington hadn't heard the large man come from behind him so Josiah was able to see Larabee's irate face before the door was closed.
"Damn Brother, what did you do?" Sanchez whistled, trying to recall the last time he had seen the leader ready to kill someone.
"Bringing some illumination, Brother." Buck grinned as he went back to his desk.
Josiah watched the lady's man walk away and then continued on his way to the break room for some coffee. Sanchez couldn't concentrate and figured some java would help. He knew though as he poured the liquid it was just a momentary diversion. Grabbing another cup of coffee he headed into Chris's office.
He entered as usual without knocking and placed the stryofoam cup on the leader's desk.
Chris gave a slight grin, "Thanks Josiah."
Sanchez gave a nod. "I know you all think I'm a saint because I can quote Bible verses."
Larabee gave him a puzzled look and crooked up an eyebrow.
Josiah put his hand up to gesture to the leader not to interrupt him. "Just think you should know I was young once in the 60s. I did some experimenting the Timothy Leary way."
Chris put his head in his hands and began rubbing his temples. "This is not open for discussion." Larabee gritted out through clenched teeth.
Sanchez didn't acknowledge Chris's reaction. "So Brother, if I ever have a flashback in the office I'll know there will be some serious repercussions."
"Damn it! It's not the same." Larabee said, at Josiah's retreating form.
Sanchez felt better having said his peace. Josiah had witnessed Vin's unnatural jitteriness in the conference room. He also saw how Ezra and the sharpshooter had become thick as thieves. It was trouble. The large agent knew exactly what the trouble was from too, even though he wasn't in the van. Somehow Tanner had taken the cocaine.
By Chris's demeanor, Josiah knew that the leader was not taking it well. He didn't want to add to the man's trouble but Josiah had to show he supported Vin. The large agent liked his teammates and each one was worth fighting for even if he had disregarded the rules.
Because of the blatant act, Sanchez couldn't admit to Chris he knew about Vin, nor could he have a discussion about the situation with Buck. Once the accusation was said out in the open, Tanner would be out.
Sanchez passed by Nathan's desk and gave him a wink as Jackson looked up. The medic gave the large agent a wan smile. In those dark eyes, Josiah could see that Nathan knew.
Nathan was trying to finish a report. He had to start over after Ezra and Vin left. Then Jackson lost his place when Buck went into Chris's office. Finally, he had to delete a paragraph after Josiah winked at him. As he kept pressing the delete key, he watched JD; smiling as he talked on the phone and tossing a koosh ball to Buck. Nathan wished he were as blissfully unaware as the young agent.
Instead, his medical training kept churning in his mind, forcing him to recognize the symptoms of drug use. Damn it, Jackson thought as he eased up on his voracious pressing of the keyboard. When had things gotten so out of control for Vin to have taken drugs to find out a little information about it an organization the medic didn't think they were up to dealing with.
He knew these men well. They believed they were indestructible or if they got hurt then Nathan would be there to help patch them up. Taking cocaine, though even once, could do damage and Jackson couldn't even say anything about to the sharpshooter. Nathan had to pretend he didn't know.
But, Nathan knew firsthand how things suddenly become uncontrollable. In college he was taking classes, working full time and then in his spare time working at a clinic. He knew he wanted to get involved with medicine. Soon he was falling asleep in class and unable to function. That was when his doctor 'friend' wrote him a prescription for amphetamines. In the beginning Nathan did fine, using the stimulants to help him juggle his hectic schedule. After a month of constant use though he was having trouble sleeping, then came the irritability. He felt stupid when he realized he was abusing drugs and immediately went cold turkey.
The memory though lingered and he was getting that overwhelming feeling he used to get in college. He looked around at the familiar faces of his friends. Nathan knew he couldn't help Vin, but he could help the team on this case. "We're in over our head," he mumbled to himself as he fingered through his Rolodex.
He dialed the number and waited for it to be picked up on the other end.
"Agent Perdy," was the reply through the receiver.
"Hey, Fred, Nathan Jackson." The FBI agent sounded surprised to hear from Nathan. The medic knew Fred from his military days. "You free for dinner? I need to pick your brain."
Nathan made arrangements to meet his friend at a small café. Vin thought he was justified in taking the cocaine and Nathan felt the same about asking Perdy for help, even though Chris did not want others involved. Hopefully Fred would provide some assistance with the Yakuza.
Kobe, Japan
The office building was dark. He sat at his desk overlooking Tokyo. The banners blaring garishly against the skyline, the bright lights reflected by his desk's lacquered finish. Other than that stream of jumbled colors, he sat in darkness. In a crumpled bag was his purchase, looking out of sorts amongst the carefully placed objects. He placed his hand in the sack pulling out the red, roly –poly, fierce-faced, character with two blank eyes. In Japan the Daruma doll was a popular gift for the New Year or at the start of a new endeavor.
He had a goal, which he aimed to reach. He took a marker out from his desk drawer and carefully painted the pupil in one eye. Once he was successful he would paint the other eye. He would get his revenge and the other eye would be painted soon, he promised solemnly to the paper-mache figure he held in his hand.
He sees enough
who doth
his darkness see
Lord Herbert of Cherbury
Driving on Highway
North of Denver, Colorado
Ezra and Vin had driven in silence for over two hours. They would be at their destination soon. Tanner had called his Native American friend and told him he was coming by for a visit. The sharpshooter was in the passenger seat with it reclining back, his arm haphazardly covering his eyes. Standish was getting tired of the scenery; one tree looked the same as the others. He saw Vin stirring and decided to start a conversation. He hadn't questioned the sharpshooter on what had gone on in Chris's office and Ezra was curious.
Standish cleared his throat. "How are you feeling?" He asked the stretching sharpshooter, who was still in the same suit he had started the day off in.
Tanner blinked a few times before answering. "At one point I felt I could conquer the world. Do anything." Vin said as he roughly rubbed his hand over his haggard features.
Standish kept his eyes on the highway, deftly merging in the traffic. "Ah, the rush," replied the southerner. Ezra noticed there was a pause and using his peripheral vision, saw that the sharpshooter looked shocked. "Please, Agent Tanner, I went to school with money and there is nothing money can't buy." Standish explained, thinking back to his boarding school days. The kids there had more money than they knew what to do with, sent by guilty parents who didn't spend time with their children. So Ezra experimented, thinking it would make him forget about feeling abandoned by his mother. It didn't work.
Vin adjusted the passenger seat of the Jaguar so that he was sitting up. "Wish I had known that." Tanner smirked. "Same thing in Purgatorio. Always someone willing to give you a hit and get you hooked."
Ezra nodded in understanding. This was so different from their usual conversations filled with playful bantering and insults. He was surprised the usually intuitive agent thought so highly of Ezra. He had been a kid once to after all, and a lonely one at that. Standish thought about Vin momentarily and it became clear. Ezra smiled, "You thought I was too smart to try drugs?"
Vin shrugged his shoulders "Guess so."
"Thanks, I think." Ezra chuckled at the audacity of the sharpshooter. Someday the undercover agent was going to have to point out to Vin that he too was intelligent. Tanner was a survivor of a tough childhood-surely that was proof of the sharpshooter's acumen.
Vin began tapping his fingers along the armrest. "Not as if we ever talked about if everyone lied on that questions on the federal agent questionnaire about illegal drug use."
"Oh, I'm sure our comrades have had their moments of stupidity." Off the top of his head he figured that Buck, Josiah and maybe Chris had experimented with drugs. Something about those three made him believe they were not innocents. Nathan and JD were only a distant maybe. "How would our fearless leader feel about these admissions?"
"Don't know." Vin sighed and then under his breath he added, "He'll do what's best."
Ezra momentarily took his attention from the road to see if he could read Tanner's reaction. "Very cryptic of you, Vin."
"I acted like an ass." The sharpshooter's voice grew louder in frustration. "I may not have a job in the morning." Vin turned his head and looked out the window.
"Damn," was all Ezra could think of replying. Standish wondered what treatment he would have received if he had been caught. Although being a co-conspirator surely would bring its own punishment. Ezra didn't want to dwell on it.
"Take that turnoff," Vin pointed to an exit on the right.
Ezra had agreed to take him to his friend's house. Tanner had said he would help purge the cocaine from his system. Standish had acquiesced only because he knew a hospital visit was impossible.
Tanner continued to give directions until they reached a subdivision in a cul-de-sac made up of similar split-level houses. "That's it," Vin pointed to a house at the end, set slightly further back.
Ezra pulled the Jaguar into the driveway. The occupants of the house must have seen him coming because before Standish exited the car he noticed a man by the screen door. He was an elderly man, but with the bearing of a man in his thirties with gray hair grazing his shoulders. He wore faded blue jeans, a plaid flannel shirt and a silver and leather belt around his waist. He waved at Vin.
"That's your friend Kojay, I presume." Ezra asked. He hadn't met any Native Americans in his travels and felt kind of nervous at meeting a Chief.
Vin nodded and led the way. When they reached the front door Kojay stretched his arm out and placed it on Tanner's shoulder. A minute passed before the Chief acknowledged Ezra's presence. Kojay finally gave Standish a nod of welcome.
He playfully slapped Vin's cheek and then opened the door to his daughter's house. "Come in."
Looking for the moon
In a lonely autumn sky
-mountain castle lights,
Santoka
CDC (Buck and JD's apartment)
Denver, Colorado
At the last minute Buck's date had cancelled, which was fine with Wilmington since the Avalanche were playing tonight.
"If ya can't have women, ya might as well have hockey." Buck mumbled out loud.
JD had a date with Casey and wouldn't be home until later. Buck was glad the young agent was going out with the college student, that way he would not spend time dwelling on Vin and Ezra's actions. Wilmington hoped the kid never figured out what had happened. The young agent worshipped all of them. In his eyes they could do no wrong. The reality was they were all just men, and they couldn't stay up on a pedestal forever.
Buck filled a metal pot with water and placed it on the gas stove. As the fire sputtered he reached up into the cabinets for a box of spaghetti and jar of Ragu. After shuffling past the macaroni and cheese and moving the margarita mix out of the way, Buck was able to find his dinner. Wilmington set the jar and box by the stove, and in the meantime turned on the television.
When he returned to the kitchen the water was at a rolling boil. As he placed the pasta into the water, the door to the apartment opened. JD came inside throwing his jacket on the couch.
"Cool, are you making dinner? Cause I'm starved." Dunne exclaimed as he went to the refrigerator and pulled out two beers. JD handed one to Buck.
Wilmington took a deep swig, and watched as Dunne grabbed two bowls and placed them on an empty corner of the kitchen table. "What happened to you and Casey?"
JD went to sit on the couch, remote control in hand. "She had an exam to study for, so I left."
The pasta was cooked, and Buck quickly drained it then added the jarred tomato sauce. A couple of tosses and he split the pasta between the two bowls. Grabbing 2 forks he brought them to the coffee table.
The game wouldn't be on for a few more minutes, so the roommates watched the end of a VIP repeat. Between forkfuls of pasta JD started talking.
"It was kinda weird today at work."
Buck wanted to groan. Wilmington figured that Chris would decide to keep the whole incident quiet, and that after the descision was made he could talk to the young agent. Of course, Buck thought, if Dunne never figured out what had happened in that warehouse then Wilmington could live without telling. Buck didn't want to shatter JD with the knowledge that one of his heroes was human. The ladies man grabbed the remote control and began to flick through the different stations. "Nah, not stranger than usual when you got a motley group like us."
Dunne picked up the empty plates and placed them in the sink, precariously perching the bowls on top of a frying pan, pot and assorted pans. "I don't know. Vin was acting all funny."
"That boy never tells a joke, how can you say he's funny?" Buck chuckled, waiting for the game to start and therefore divert JD's attention. "That doesn't mean I want to hear one of your jokes either."
Dunne tossed a sock at his friend, that Buck easily deflected. JD joined his friend and sat heavily on the couch, with his foot he pulled the coffee table forward so he could rest his feet on the piece of furniture. "Then Ezra and him disappeared."
"Probably following some leads." Buck was relieved when he saw the players skating out to the rink. "Game's on."
JD took another drink from his beer. "Guess so, I feel like I'm missing something."
Wilmington noticed how JD's eyes began to follow the hockey players standing in lines as the Star Spangled Banner played. The young agent said he loved that part when the national anthem was played, it gave him a warm feeling of patriotism.
Buck smiled inwardly at the young man's idealism. "Nope, not a thing, just the start of the game." Buck was thankful he had dodged that bullet, and decided that he deserved another beer. He would also have to mention to Ezra and Vin that they owed him, first of all, for covering their asses and secondly, for hiding this all from the kid.
Buck's head was in the refrigerator when he heard JD say, "I don't believe it."
"Damn!" Wilmington said roughly grabbing a beer. "They couldn't have already scored!" He hurried into the living room to find a pale JD. His feet firmly removed on the floor instead of relaxing on the coffee table.
"JD, what's wrong?" Wilmington crouched down worriedly, the kid looked as if he had seen a ghost.
Dunne pointed to the TV. "The sign, Buck, clear as day!"
Wilmington looked at the picture and watched as the teams skated around the rink. Then it made sense, he saw the DARE banner advertising, 'Just Say No To Drugs!' mounted to the boards. Buck put a hand to his forehead and sat down on the floor.
JD stood up and didn't even notice he had banged his knee against the coffee table. "The damn sign and I figured it out." Buck noticed his roommate mumbling to himself. "Should have known at the warehouse and then when he was acting all funny." Suddenly, Dunne sat back down and sighed. "Vin took cocaine, Buck."
Wilmington shook his head, inhaling deeply. Buck waited for his roommate to finish his stream of thoughts.
"He doesn't even like pain killers." JD stood up again and went to the phone. "We need to tell Chris."
Wilmington stood up and pulled the phone from his friend's hand. "He already knows."
JD mouthed the words to himself in puzzlement. Then his brown eyes grew wide and he backed away from his roommate. "Why didn't you tell me?"
Buck wanted to take a step closer to the young agent, but instead went to the forgotten beer he had left on the table. Wilmington kept his back turned as he said, "Cause Vin's going through enough without you badgering him." Though in all honesty, Buck's heart was screaming about how he wanted to spare his young friend the disillusionment of life.
"Going through enough?" JD exploded, yelling as he stood rooted into place. "He's a federal agent and he took drugs! That's wrong, Buck. He broke the law."
Buck cringed at the young agent's voice. Wilmington carefully placed down his drink. "Kid, we're not the DEA."
"I AM NOT A KID!" JD came forward grabbed Buck's shoulder roughly and forced him to turn around. "And we're law enforcement officials. We're supposed to have strong moral character."
Wilmington's anger began to rise at JD's assumptions. "Who told you that shit?" Buck's gaze did not waiver from Dunne's face. "And what's with 'this is wrong and that's wrong'?" Buck had to step away before he lost his control. He placed his hand against the painted walls. "You think he didn't have his reasons?" Wilmington regained his composure. "Maybe he thought about not getting killed or breaking cover." Buck turned around to face JD , who had gone silent. "Ever think about that?"
"I don't know." Dunne answered, deflating as his hostility began to disperse. Buck sympathized for his roommate. It was hard to learn that life was not always black or white. Sometimes it was just gray.
JD cleared his throat. Buck saw the lump that had formed in the young agent's neck. "He took drugs, Buck."
Wilmington took a step closer to his friend and peered underneath the bowed head. "You've never smoked pot? Never tried drugs?"
JD shook his head, and looked back down at his Reeboks.
Buck groaned. He sometimes forgot how young JD was, at his age Buck and Chris were enjoying wild days and nights, not hanging with ATF agents. "You can't be that naïve?"
JD snapped his head up and replied hotly. "There was never any time-school, taking care of my mom. I had no social life."
Wilmington reached out and placed a hand on his roommate's shoulder. "Jeez, JD, I never knew." Buck have his friend's shoulder a squeeze. "I didn't tell you because I didn't want you thinking less of Vin and the rest of us." Wilmington continued, when the young agent didn't reply. "Hell, you got to understand. . .we're not superheroes." Buck chuckled remembering a particular evening with Larabee. "Chris and me we got into our share of trouble."
Dunne shrugged Buck's hand of his shoulder. Wilmington closed his eyes for a moment, that one act had wounded him. Deep down inside it made him feel better that JD thought so highly of Buck and the rest of the team, and it was gone.
JD grabbed his jacket from the couch where he had tossed it earlier. "I'm numb as far as Vin's concerned." Dunne clutched the leather jacket tighter. "I'm not thinking at all about him." Finally, he looked at Buck and Wilmington could see the hurt in his roommate's brown eyes. "Buck, I'll be fine."
"JD, wait." Buck yelled after JD's retreating form. Instead Dunne softly closed the door. Wilmington sighed and with the remote control clicked off the television. He picked up the phone and waited for the other side to pick.
When he heard the familiar voice Buck ran a hand through his hair as he stated, "Chris, JD knows."
5 Miriam Drive
Livermore, Colorado
"My son-in-law is away on business for a few days, and my daughter decided to join him." Kojay said as he led them through the house. They passed the kitchen and Vin's stomach growled. He was hungry. It was a side effect from the cocaine. But, the Chief did not stop instead he went through the back door in a screened in porch before descending down a set of stairs which led to the backyard. Vin felt Ezra pulling on his jacket.
"What is that?" Standish asked, pointing to a strange structure.
Vin followed Ezra's gaze to the fire pit, its flames crackling orange, and next to it was a sweat lodge. Tanner smiled, and went down the stairs explaining to Standish.
"Hell, Ez, it's a sweat lodge. Can't believe he built one here." Vin looked at the deceiving surroundings. When they drove up he noticed that each house was similar and had about an acre of land. There was a difference though in this house, the last in the cul-de-sac, its backyard bordered on conservation land. No wonder Kojay felt comfortable staying with his daughter.
The sharpshooter admired the sweat lodge too. It was about 10 feet in diameter, the sturdy structure was probably made of aspen that had been stripped and then bent to form a bow shape. Placed on top of that were blankets and finally a tarp being held down by rocks to protect it from the Colorado winds.
"Kojay must have started heating up the rocks when I called him." Vin watched as the older man shoveled in seven rocks into the opening of the lodge. Five buckets of water were near the pit in case the fire got out of hand.
"Lucky, you." Ezra said, crossing his arms, looking warily at Kojay who had gestured for them to join him. "Vin, if you don't mind I'll think I'll pass on the experience." Standish raised his voice so the Chief could hear him. "There's a sauna at my gym."
The older man assessed the well-dressed man. "It's up to you, but you also need to regain some balance."
Standish balanced on one foot and removed some grass clippings, which had become adhered to his expensive leather shoe. "Sir, I have an excellent sense of equilibrium."
Kojay nodded and began to pull off his shirt. "Feel free to use the house then and get yourself something to eat." The Chief began to fan himself with a sprig a sage to start the purification process.
Tanner sighed as he stepped forward, ready to strip down to his boxers before entering the lodge. He looked back at Standish's retreating form. "Hey, Ez, thanks." Vin said, thankful that the undercover agent had been a true friend today, attempting to cover up for Vin and then by taking him to Kojay.
Standish waved, acknowledging he had heard, and then muttered back. "There better be something other than squirrel or possum in the refrigerator."
Vin grinned. He had told Ezra some stories about living with The People and living off the land. He never guessed he had scared the undercover agent, but Standish did have a tendency to become nervous when he was out of his element, much like when Vin found himself in crowded places. Of course Ezra took a fit over a bag of Cheetos too. He was not accustomed to junk food because of his 'refined palate'.
Tanner stripped down to his boxers, leaving his suit in a pile by the lodge. He entered the structure and felt the soft fresh sage caressing his feet. Kojay had already sat down and was beginning to drip water on the hot rocks piled in an oval pit. The steam started to rise, whispering its way around the room until the moisture was thick in the air. Already, Vin felt the sweat beading on his upper lip, he licked it off unconsciously. The sharpshooter thought about the progression of his day from boredom, to a false high to hearing crickets clearly rustling in the leaves outside.
Tanner took a sip of water and listened to Kojay's chanting. Vin knew the Chief did it to bring spirituality to the sweat lodge, but Tanner never felt comfortable with chanting. It was a sense of letting go, and Vin always had to keep something back. Even with the cocaine the sharpshooter did not give into all the reckless impulses that were trying to seduce him. Tanner tried to willfully relax to the tunes Kojay was making.
Vin looked up, and wondered who had made a hole in the ceiling of the lodge. He could see an endless night. So caught up was he in the bewitching sight that Tanner failed to notice the trips Kojay made to get more heated rocks.
Tanner knew that in the end the sun would rise and the night would end. He kept that knowledge as an anchor so he wouldn't lose himself in the starry opulence. Yet, the stars twinkled and beckoned. He felt darkness around him, but if he reached out he could touch the effortless light. Then Vin felt a peaceful energy, a calmness and a sense of freedom.
Kojay smiled as he chanted, hearing Vin's voice join in.
When they finished hours later, Tanner slipped back on his pants and shirt without buttoning it. The clothes stuck to his sweaty body. Kojay made sure the fire was smothered and they went back to the house. The screen door to the back entry squeaked and Vin heard a muffled, "Humph."
Tanner smiled as he saw Ezra uncomfortably stretched out on lawn furniture. Vin bent down and whispered. "Ez, go back to sleep it's still dark outside."
In response Standish turned slightly with a, "Humn."
The undercover agent had been there all night keeping watch, making sure his friend was fine. Vin felt guilty at leaving him on the porch. "I think I should wake him up, he looks uncomfortable." Tanner said to Kojay.
The older man shrugged his shoulders. "Have him stay so the sun will greet him at dawn."
There were no blinds covering the windows so when the sun rose, it would shine directly on the undercover agent. "I don't think they're on speaking terms." Vin drawled. Ezra was sleeping like the dead, and Tanner knew he could sleep through anything. Standish would probably end up sleeping to noon. So Vin tossed an afghan over the prone form and went inside.
They would be staying for the night, and in the afternoon after a good night's sleep and a meal they would make their way back to Denver to see if a calmness had come to the Federal Building.