The Exchange – The Turning Point
The next day found Haley in her room, staring at the canopy above her bed. Her mind was reeling. The necklace she wore felt warm against her skin as she rolled the smoky ball from hand to hand across her belly. She still didn't know what it did, but it was a subconscious activity. It kept her hands busy while her mind tried to unravel all the thoughts that had collided with one another.
'Why couldn't he be this nice from the beginning? Then maybe these past seven years wouldn't have been wasted on stupid bickering…'
She thought about the promise she had made Draco. Each time she did, it only served to tear her mind in two. It was as if her inner Haley and Harry were clashing with one another. In one hand, Haley was happy that she was growing so close to Draco. Despite all the taunting and teasing, which was mostly done in jest anyway, she really did enjoy his company. And the promise they shared made part of her happy because it meant that Draco felt a deeper connection with her. It filled her with a sense of hope that maybe they could have something more. But in the other hand, she just felt like crying. The fact that she had to be Haley to be so close to him felt like it was killing her insides. She wanted to know what was so wrong about being Harry Potter that Draco found him a rival. It made her wonder if he could ever care for Harry the way he seemed to care for Haley. But every time she considered their history, all signs pointed in doubtful directions. So though she might cherish him always no matter what, she wasn't so sure that once things change, he'd protect her always. This was the basis of her inner turmoil.
Haley sighed, pausing her movements. She closed her eyes. 'This transformation is the best and worst thing that's happened to me…'
After she had made her promise to Draco, exhaustion overcame the girl, what with the roller coaster of emotions she had been through. Add that to the antics of the Weasleys and Haley was really feeling that she would pass out at any moment. They said their good nights, bid each other a Merry Christmas and agreed to have their long-awaited dinner the next evening.
But now, in the early traces of the afternoon, Haley found herself glued to her bed. She briefly wondered where Draco was. It was well into the morning, nearing noon even, and she half-expected him to come knocking on her door complaining about some random event by now. It was usually Draco who sought Haley's company, usually to her chagrin, but now that her door remained silent, she was disappointed.
Haley rolled the ball from one hand to another once more. 'Where are you, Draco?'
On the other side of the wall, in his own dorm, was the boy in question. He, too, was lying in bed staring at his canopy, resting his head on his arms. His head was almost as muddled as the head of the one he was thinking about.
'Harry…' Draco sighed. He wondered what the boy turned girl was doing. 'He's probably frolicking about with one of his many friends.' His lip curled slightly at the thought. 'What does he need so many friends for? Two or three are good enough.' But part of the reason Draco was so fond of Harry was his kindness to nearly all he came across. Sure it was kind of annoying at times, but Harry just wouldn't be the same if he weren't.
Draco was surprised by how well he and Harry had been getting along. Even before he realized that it was really him, Harry and Draco's relationship had gone down a very unexpected path. Draco had grown fonder and fonder of the Boy-Who-Lived now that they had this chance to spend so much time with one another. He loved all the time he got to spend with Harry. In fact, Draco even searched for excuses just to spend time with him. Draco thought that maybe if he could show Harry how things could be between them, Harry might not reject the idea. But the one thing that Draco's mind was wrestling with was what would happen between them when Harry changed back.
He had figured out that Harry's sudden disappearance had something to do with the sudden emergence of this new girl Haley Jones. Since the very beginning, Draco sensed a sort of familiarity emanating from the girl, but he couldn't quite place it. It wasn't until the kiss between Haley and Blaise that the idea struck him. The anger and jealousy that he felt in seeing the two together like that was the exact same way he felt when he saw Harry so chummy with someone else. Surprised by his reaction to what he had witnessed, Draco thought hard about what it was about this girl that he was so drawn to. At the time, nothing, and especially no one could provoke such a reaction from him except Harry Potter. And once Draco started thinking about Harry, about his eyes and his smile, about the way that he laughed and the way he glowered, things just clicked. Haley was Harry. She just had to be.
At the time, Draco's mind was spinning at the idea. Like putting together pieces of a puzzle, Draco came up with the most reasonable conclusion as to what must have happened to put Harry in his current position. He had been worried about Harry the day they created the Transpartium potion. He had heard from various rumors that the Gryffindor didn't show up for his next class. This concerned Draco. And then, all of a sudden, an exchange between two schools had taken place. In Harry's place was Haley Jones.
From there, everything began to make sense. Draco finally realized that the whole time he thought he was befriending this new girl, he was actually befriending the boy he so cherished. However, Draco was a little torn. This meant that his new friend had been lying to him this whole time. He wondered what else had been a lie. But that worry quickly diminished that night. Knowing that it was really Harry who had launched that pillow at him, his heart was overwhelmed with warmth. Be it truth or a lie, it was still Harry he was making the connection with. This fact alone was enough to satiate Draco. He was content in knowing that the person he was growing so close to, be it real or not, was really Harry. At least that's what he thought at first.
Lightning struck, bursting Draco's happy little bubble. The news of Harry's return for the Quidditch Match only meant one thing to Draco; that Professor Snape was getting close to finding the antidote to the potion that forced the Golden Boy in his current predicament. That fact could only mean that Draco's time with Harry was soon coming to an end. If Harry went back, then things might not be the same. Draco feared that they would simply revert to their previous relationship of detest. He feared that if Harry didn't feel even a fraction as close to Draco as Draco did to Harry, that that would be then end of it. He had said it to Harry; that they two were seen as enemies. He was afraid that the image was all that defined Malfoy and Potter, despite all that had happened in this time. If this was the case, then there was no hope in a lasting friendship. Their little courtship would be a closed chapter in their lives. It certainly put a dark cloud over his head.
It wasn't fair. It was like life was teasing him. But Draco was determined to hang on to what they shared. He vowed to try his damndest to show Harry how things might be better if they were no longer enemies. He wanted Harry to want to stay with him even if it meant he would stay as Haley. Draco thought he could be content being with Haley because it was really Harry deep down. But his plan came crashing down at Pansy's words.
She was right. Draco couldn't like Haley because Draco was already in love with Harry. He wasn't in love with the connection they had shared during Harry's time with the Slytherins. No. Draco loved Harry long before then. He loved everything about Harry. Even though being with Haley would make more sense to the rest of the world, considering she was not only a girl but also a Slytherin girl, Draco could care less. Those weren't the things he fell in love with. Those weren't the things that had drawn him to Harry in the first place. Draco wanted Harry, not Haley.
The Head Boy thought hard during his time at home. He now had another goal in mind. He had to give Harry a reason to want to stay with Draco once he changed back. He had to prove to Harry that he could be a good person. Then perhaps they could stay friends beyond this short exchange. And in the end, that's what Draco yearned for the most. As long as Harry was by his side, Draco was content. He didn't need to be loved back. He just wanted to be accepted. He wanted Harry to cherish him and to no longer think of him as a rival.
But not knowing what was going through Harry's head made things hard for Draco, who usually got whatever he wanted. Doubt was Draco's biggest combatant.
'From the outside, things look good. He and I are good friends. By my standards, we're more than just good friends. But that doesn't mean that's what he's feeling… What if he's this close to all his friends?' Another spike of jealousy shot through the blonde. 'What more can I do? I want to keep him…'
Draco rolled over onto his side. 'It is amusing, though, how hard Blaise is trying. It's obvious he knows Haley's true identity as well… I wonder who else knows…' Draco thought back to the day before the Quidditch match.
Blaise had noticed Draco's foul mood. He had made the assumption that the news of Harry Potter's return only made Draco pine of Harry evermore. This was clear to the grey-eyed boy. However, Blaise was only partially correct. Draco was mostly worried about the dwindling amount of time he had left to share with Harry. But Blaise was insisting that Draco try to focus on what was in front of him. He insisted that Haley was good for him and that Draco should stop wasting away, longing for Harry, when there was good that could come from loving Haley. This surprised Draco, especially since Blaise never pushed Draco when it came to Harry. Blaise knew that Draco only had eyes for Harry and nothing it seemed would ever change that fact. So Blaise never fought it. Then suddenly, he's adamant about Haley? It was all very suspicious indeed. Like attaching another piece to the puzzle, Draco then realized that Blaise knew. But did Harry know that Blaise knew?
'Either way, I have to do this on my own,' Draco reasoned. 'Blaise gets too passionate about these things… he demands results, be them good or bad. But I … I only want the good. My only wish is to be with Harry, always…'
Draco let out a deep, strained sigh. 'I wish I knew what he was feeling… This would all be much easier if I just knew how he felt…'
It seemed that both Haley and Draco were struggling with the same problem. They both frowned. 'How do you tell the person who's suppose to be your enemy that you love them?'
A single wall separated the two.
--
Dinner was slightly awkward as both Haley's and Draco's minds were still riddled with thoughts. But Haley was determined to make this a good night. Of course she was. She didn't think there would be any other dinners like it after this. Not unless by some miracle Draco suddenly confessed his undying love, not for Haley Jones, but for Harry Potter… but what was the likelihood of that happening?
They had ordered their food some time ago, waiting patiently in idle chitchat for their items to arrive. Despite what she said in the heat of her victory, Haley opted for one steak, not two.
"So where were you this morning? I didn't see you at all," Haley commented, taking a sip of her pumpkin juice.
Draco smirked. "Why? Did you miss me?"
The girl rolled her eyes. "Forget it."
The blonde just smiled. "I was in my room for the most part."
"Massaging your ego, probably…" Haley muttered.
"Why Haley, are you picturing me massaging myself?"
Haley gasped, realizing what he was insinuating. "That's not what I meant!"
"I must say, you're quite bold," he teased.
The girl just shook her head. "You're incorrigible."
"But you adore me, nonetheless."
At this, Haley couldn't help but smile.
"See? I'm right."
Haley scoffed, still with a smile on her face. "You are most certainly wrong. I despise you."
Draco didn't respond, except for a light chuckle. Slowly, the smile on his face receded. "Haley, can I ask you something serious?"
"I don't know. Can you?" The light-hearted, but stern expression he had was enough to make Haley shift gears. She sat up in her seat. "All right. Go on, then."
"I was just wondering… what happens after this?"
"Well… we go back to Hogwarts, I murder you in a game of Wizard's Chess, we share a box of Bertie Botts and then we go our separate ways until tomorrow when we can torment each other some more."
Draco laughed. "What makes you think you can beat me at Wizard's Chess?"
"I've myself a wonderful teacher."
"Oh, you mean the Wea- I mean, Weasley? I suppose he is good."
"He's brilliant!"
"But that's not exactly what I meant."
"Oh. What is it then?"
"When you go back… what happens then?"
Haley paused. How was she supposed to know that happens then? "I guess… I go back… we write letters back and forth promising to visit one another and one day eventually follow through with those promises."
This answer didn't seem to satisfy the boy. "Do… do you think things will change between us once you're gone?"
Again, Haley paused as she searched for her answer. "I want to say no but… if I'm truly being honest with myself, I think probably yes."
Draco was solemn. "…Why do you think that?"
His eyes told her he wanted a straight answer. She didn't want to think about these things, though. This was supposed to be her victory dinner. And yet, she still couldn't deny him her answer.
"I think… it's different when you see a person every day compared to when you see them every so often. Change the way things are and more change is bound to follow."
The air fell silent and heavy between them. This obviously wasn't the answer he was looking for, but Haley had to be honest. Once she changes back, things won't be the same. Not only will she see less of Draco, she might not even be able to speak to Draco. Or at least not in the same way that they have during her time with him. She was sure of it. And though it broke her heart to realize it, it was what it was.
Draco seemed livid. Grey eyes turned into steel. "Is that so?"
"It's what I really think."
"So what then? Your promise to me was just hollow words? 'I'll just agree so I can shut him up?'"
"No! Of course not!"
"Then how can you say something like that after you promise to cherish someone always?"
"I was just being honest!"
"You're being irrational."
"No, Draco. I think you're the one that's being irrational. I will cherish you as I will always cherish this time I've spent with you. But you can't honestly believe that things can remain the same between you and I when circumstances pull us in different directions."
"I would've found a way to make it work! I'd want us to go the same path!"
"Excuse me."
Haley and Draco both snapped their heads in the direction of the third voice.
"Might I ask that you please keep it down? The other guests are concerned," said the Maitre d'.
"Yes. Sorry," Haley said, slightly embarrassed.
Draco just looked away, folding his arms across his chest.
As the restaurant employee walked away, Haley leaned forward and lowered her voice. "Draco, what's gotten into you?"
"Nothing." His reply was sharp and bitter.
"Draco, come on."
His head snapped in her direction. "You're not even going to try?"
Haley paused for a third time. "I honestly don't know what's going to happen when I leave. I've made good friends and I want to keep in touch with all of them. And I will try my best to, but I can't guarantee that things will be the same then as they are now. I'd like them to be, but… I just can't know." Haley covered her face in her hands. This was getting to be too much. "Why are you doing this, Draco?" She wasn't sure she was really saying this to the boy sitting across from her or if she meant to ask it of herself.
And it was like a switch was flipped within Draco's mind. His eyes softened and he scooted his chair closer to his friend's so that he could take her hands in his. "I'm sorry. This was supposed to be a good night and I'm ruining it, aren't I?"
Still not looking at him, Haley nodded.
"I'm sorry." Draco tried to catch Haley's eyes, but she refused to look at him.
"You said you'd try your best. This doesn't seem like it's your best," she said quietly.
"What?"
Finally, Haley looked Draco in the eye. This time, it was the emeralds that were sad. "You said that'd you try your best to stop screwing things up. That was less than twenty-four hours ago and you're already picking a fight with me."
Draco squeezed the hands in his. "I'm sorry. I'm an idiot."
"A big one."
"Yes. A big one. I'll stop. I just… I just wanted to know what you were thinking, that's all."
"Well, that's the thing, Draco. I don't want to think about these things. At least not right now. I just want to enjoy the time I have left with you. Please."
Draco nodded. "You're right. I'm sorry. From now on, no more fights. I hate fighting with you."
"Me too. So just shut up and agree that I'm always right."
Draco had to laugh. "Always?"
"All right, all right. Most of the time, then."
Draco smiled, making Haley smile right back. He released her hands and scooted back to his original spot.
Haley slumped in her seat. "I swear, Draco… The things you put me through…"
"It's because you adore me."
She smiled again, shaking her head. 'You have no idea…'
--
Haley and Draco entered the common room that evening with a light and airy atmosphere about them. Haley was currently laughing at something Draco had said and in turn, Draco watched Haley with mirth in his eyes. The sight had happiness and cheer written all over it. It made Ethan Maxwell feel sick to his stomach.
Once she overcame her laughter, Haley glimpsed around the room. She quickly spotted Blaise over by one of the fireplaces. The boy was watching them with amusement in his eyes. However, she then spotted the other set of eyes that were watching her as well. Unlike Blaise, Ethan did not look happy at all. She saw the boy look away and shake his head. He then stood abruptly and began to walk away.
Haley frowned. "Wait! Ethan!"
The hazel-eyed boy glimpsed at the girl, but he didn't stop as he made his way out of the common room.
Haley was about to follow him when she felt a hand around her wrist. "Draco, what are you doing?"
"Forget him."
She snatched her wrist back from him. "He's my friend."
"Well then maybe you should reconsider that relationship," he drawled.
Haley shook her head in annoyance. "Though you may treat your relationships so lackadaisically, that doesn't mean I do. And because I don't want to fight with you anymore tonight, I'll say thank you for the dinner. I hope you have a good night."
"Haley, don't-"
"I said, 'Good night,' Draco."
Draco didn't respond, but Haley was already halfway out the door anyway. She instantly headed towards the photo lab, almost positive that that's where Ethan was headed. Haley felt a sort of obligation to her friend to clarify some things. He had been loyal to her throughout so it was only right that she went after him. When she finally arrived at the portrait of a man painting a portrait, she frowned. "How the hell am I supposed to get in? What was that password again?"
Haley bit her lip. "Obscura?" Wrong. "Viewfinder?" Wrong again. "…Parsnip?" Not even close.
The girl rolled her eyes and pounded on the portrait, much to the portrait's chagrin. She didn't care. "Ethan! If you can hear me, let me in! I want to talk to you!" There was no response. 'Maybe he didn't even come here…' She shook her head. "No… he must have. Ethan?! Eeeettthhhhaaaannn!!"
The portrait swung open, revealing a very disgruntled Slytherin. "What?" He snapped.
"We need to talk."
"Do we?" He cocked an eyebrow. "I thought you'd be too busy playing lovey-dovey with Drakie-Wakie."
Haley frowned. "First of all, it's Pansy who says that. If I ever say that as term of endearment, I give you full permission to Stupefy me."
This didn't seem to lighten Ethan's mood.
"Look," Haley tried. "You're clearly upset. And I don't want you upset with me."
Ethan snatched Haley's hand and pulled her into the lab, much to the latter's surprise. He sat her down at one of the tables and bent down to loom over her. It made her feel like a child being lectured.
"What are you trying to pull, Harry? I guarantee you, things can't possibly turn out well if Draco finds that you've been lying to him this whole time. And yet, you still pursue him!"
"I didn't pursue him," she growled. "Look, I'm sorry that I don't feel the same way for you that you do for me, but I do value your friendship."
"Yeah, only because I'm keeping your secret."
"If that's what you honestly think, then you deserve to be alone. You and I were friends long before I knew you knew. I defend our friendship when others doubt it."
Ethan was silent.
"You can act jealous all you want, but that doesn't change what I truly feel."
"So you're finally admitting it, then?"
"Admitting what?"
"That you're in love with Draco!"
Haley flinched. The bitterness in his tone stung. She did her best to remain calm. "So what if I am?"
"Harry! Come on! Do you not remember what he's like when you're you? What do you think is going to happen when you go back? Do you think you'll be able to stay friends? That maybe your history with one another meant nothing? Be reasonable!" He slammed his fist on the table. "Nothing can come of this as long as you're you and he's him!"
"Don't you think I know that?!" Haley's voice was strained. Everything Ethan had said was the epitome of every little doubt she had in her mind. His words were beginning to hurt. She fought the tears that were threatening to break through. "I want to give him up. In fact, I even planned to. But you don't understand what it's like for me!" She swatted away the tear that fell. "This whole time I thought Draco was just a spoiled brat and then, by some twisted strain of events, I get to see what he's really like. And it turns out he's actually a person I want to be around. Someone I want to spend time with. But I can't because I'm Harry and he's Draco! So why can't I have now? What's wrong with being selfish for now, just so I can be with the one I lo-" She bit back her words, not wanting to say them out loud just yet. She sighed. By this point, her tears gave way. "Why can't I spend as much time with him now while I can, knowing that I can't spend time with him later?"
"Harry…" Ethan straightened up and looked at the ceiling above him. This time his voice was calm and filled with sympathy. "I'm not just saying this out of spite or jealousy. I mean, yeah it sucks seeing you together like that and of course I'm jealous, but I get it. Though I hate to admit it, I get it. Draco's the one you care most for. But I'm saying this as your friend, with your best interests in mind. You'll only hurt yourself even more the more you get attached to him. You're upset now, but how do think it will feel when it actually happens? You need to move along. For your own sake."
"It's not that easy…"
"But try Harry. You have to. I'm not saying you have to love me. I mean, it would be ideal but you've made it quite clear the unlikelihood of that happening. But seriously, Harry," he took her hands in his. "As a friend to a friend, I don't want to see what'll happen if he breaks your heart. Don't give him that chance to."
"…I know…I know…" She felt like her heart was going to jump out of her chest. She pulled her hands away from Ethan's, only to reach up and pull him into a hug. She needed some comfort right now and Ethan's friendship was the biggest source of comfort she could have asked for.
The night had been about what would happen next. Despite what she thought might happen, there was no way of knowing what would happen. Haley was even more torn now than she had been that morning. She sighed. Regardless of all that had taken place between her and Draco, there was only one outcome Haley could see. She knew that it was inevitable. She would have to leave Draco, whether they were on good terms or not. The moment Haley goes back to being Harry, she would have to leave him. And from there, things were sure to change. Haley knew what had to be done. "Okay…" she said quietly. "There's only one person who can help me through this… She's been through it herself…"
"What? Who?"
Haley pulled away from Ethan and looked up at him. "Pansy. She's the only one who knows what it's like to give him up. She's the only one who can help me now."
The girl in question wasn't too far away. She had seen the scene in the common room. She saw how Ethan had stormed off in a tizzy, and she saw how the painfully loyal Haley followed her friend. But Pansy was concerned for her new ally. She knew what Ethan was capable of. She knew what he had done to Draco. And she wasn't going to let it happen to Haley. So she followed them.
She had heard Haley try and fail in finding the correct password. She saw Ethan come out from behind the portrait. She heard what Haley said about Pansy's former nickname for Draco, and although she felt like sneering at that point, she simply pushed the emotion aside. She even felt her heart leap into her throat when she saw Ethan grab Haley's wrist. She rushed from her hiding spot after them, afraid what Ethan was going to do. But the thing that made her mind stagger was what had happened next.
'He called her 'Harry'…' Pansy felt as if she were frozen to the spot. She caught what Ethan had said before their words were muffled behind the portrait that had soon closed after them. But the name lingered through the air, seemingly echoing throughout Pansy's ears. There was no denying it. Ethan had called her Harry.
"Haley is actually… Harry?" The idea was staggering.
Muffled yells were emitted from behind the portrait. Once they grew quiet, Pansy knew she had to go or else face them and she certainly wasn't ready for that. The girl retreated back to the Slytherin dorms. She had a lot of thinking to do.
Author's Notes/Disclaimer: I own naught Harry Potter and other related objects other than Ethan, Leir, and… well… this story. Muahahaha…
OMG. I only got three hours of sleep because of this one. I suffered multiple mosquito bites and now I'm in danger of being late to work once more! But I just couldn't stop! It's a crazy obsession!! BAH!
Anyway… yes. This is a turning point. Heavy thinking ensued. And we finally see what Draco's been seeing this whole time. But the one question remains… did Haley ever get her pie?! Haha. No, not really. The REAL big question: What's going to happen next? Only time (and my future updates) will tell.
THANKS FOR REVIEWING! I love them all. Please continue reviewing and I'll continue typing!! Actually, no. I'd continue nonetheless! You can't stop me! Muahahaha!