The Exchange – Mistakes
'I couldn't actually… could I?' Haley wondered. 'I mean, giving up being me to be with Draco? That's crazy…' But to Haley, though it sounded crazy, it hardly felt crazy. 'Could I actually do it…?' It didn't seem that farfetched. But she would have to wonder about whether or not she could after she found out where Draco stood.
'What am I going to say, though? Hey Draco, if you want me to, I'm willing to stay a girl for you? Just say the word and I'm yours?' None of these were remotely suitable. 'I just want to know what he feels. That doesn't mean I have to say how I feel.' But things were never that simple. 'And what happens if he doesn't feel the same way? I don't think I want to know…' She was having serious second thoughts about going through with this. She reached for the pendant dangling on her necklace. 'I do cherish him… but does he cherish me?'
She thought back on everything that had happened between them the past few weeks. They've certainly had more than their share of ups and downs. There were times when she wanted nothing more than to curse him into oblivion, but then there were times when she wanted nothing more than to spend an entire day in his embrace. Pansy believed that Draco could love her. Even Blaise was anything but opposed to the idea, and those were the two people who claimed to be closer to him than anyone. They were confident in her, so she had to be confident in herself.
When she got to the bottom of the staircase, her heart leapt to her throat when she spotted the boy coming out of his room. Almost immediately, she turned to hurry back up the stairs. She didn't think she had the nerve to go through with her plan after all. 'But I've gone face to face with dementors and giant spiders! I've faced the Dark Lord himself! This should be easy!' Though she thought it, she wasn't so sure she believed it. Nevertheless, Haley turned back around and continued down the stairs.
Haley watched Draco softly knock on her door. He put his ear to the door and looked at his watch. Seemingly disappointed, the boy stepped away and collapsed onto the nearest couch.
The small gesture warmed her heart. Before she knew it, her nerve had returned.
Haley took a deep breath before walking towards her friend. "Hey… Draco."
The boy sat up and smiled. "Oh. There you are. I thought you were still sleeping. You do have a tendency to sleep in. How many times do I have to tell you? Beauty sleep is a myth. There's nothing you can do about your unsightliness."
Had it been any other day, Haley would have come up with a witty retort and she was sure that they would volley back and forth until their stomachs told them that it was time to eat. But today was not just any other day.
"Haley, it was a joke. You're not that unsightly." When his friend didn't respond a second time, Draco straightened up. "Haley? Are you okay?"
She didn't look him in the eye. "I… think I'm ready… to tell you something now."
The boy cocked an eyebrow, but his voice was supportive. "Yeah, sure. Anything."
Haley walked around the couch and sat on the coffee table so that she was sitting in front of Draco. 'Do I really want to do this?'
Draco took Haley's fiddling hands in his. He leaned forward to catch her gaze. "Haley? What is it?"
"We're friends, right?"
"Yeah, of course."
"What… what do you really think of me?"
"Ummm, I guess… you're smart and fun to be with. You can be a little aggressive, but-"
"No, no. That's not what I meant. I mean… Draco, do you like me?"
"Of course I like you. You're my-"
"Again," Haley sighed. "Not what I meant." She was briefly reminded of the denseness of Seamus.
"Then what do you mean?" Draco asked, seemingly getting frustrated as well.
"I mean…" Haley bit her lip. 'There's no way around it, is there? I have to tell him…' It was hard to look him in the eye, so she looked anywhere but there. "I just- I think… Draco," she finally looked up at him, "I love you… And I was thinking… hoping… that maybe you could quite possibly… love me too?"
Her words seemed suspended in air. They loomed over her the longer Draco said nothing in response. Haley felt the unease go from her stomach to the very tips of the hands that were still in his grasp. His eyes shifted, no longer meeting hers. This only served to put her even more on edge. She couldn't take the silence. "Draco, say something!"
His eyes snapped back to hers. "Haley…" he exhaled. The tone was anything but comforting. Add that to the furrowed brow and the sorrowful look he was giving her and Haley was anything but calm.
"Oh God…" she started. She scooted as far back on the table as she could, pulling her hands out from under his and hiding her face behind them. 'He doesn't feel the same way! I'm such an idiot!'
"Haley…" He tried taking her hands again, but she wouldn't let him. "Haley, let me explain-"
'How could I be so stupid? He was just being nice! He never really liked me! I should have seen it! How could anyone like me?' She felt his hand on her shoulder. It felt like it was searing her skin.She plastered on a smile, the very antithesis of what she felt like doing, and looked back up at him "It's okay, Draco. I understand."
"No, wait-"
"I just- I should go, now-"
"Haley please let me-"
"-especially since I've completely embarrassed myself. Just please, can we forget that this ever happened?"
"No, just listen-"
But by now, Haley felt the rush of emotion envelop her. The lump in her throat grew larger every second that went by, and her eyes were straining, in pain, trying to hold back the tears that overwhelmed her. Abruptly she stood, and while trying to hide the tears the fell down her cheeks, she ran for the exit.
"Haley wait!" Draco called, but she was already out the door.
She turned down the nearest corner and cried with her back against the wall. It was hard to breathe. Her chest felt like exploding as she gasped for air. Slowly, she slid down the wall, wrapping her arms around her legs. She buried her face against her knees, letting the emotions run through her. 'He doesn't feel the same way… how could I be so stupid thinking maybe… he could never…'
"Haley!"
She shrunk, hearing Draco's voice echo down the hall. She prayed that he couldn't see her. She wished more than ever that she had her invisibility cloak with her.
"Haley!"
"Draco? What's going on?"
The voice undoubtedly belonged to Blaise.
"I need to find Haley."
"Why? What happened?"
"She… she told me that she loved me."
"That's great, mate!"
"No, actually. It's not."
"What? Why?"
"Blaise, I know. And I know that you know, too."
"What? What are you talking about?"
"I know that Haley's really Harry."
Haley's already broken heart jumped to her throat yet again. Her heart was hurting, but she still wanted to hear more. 'He knows?'
"You… knew?"
"Yes! And knowing that it's actually Harry in there, I just I couldn't return her feelings. I just- I need to find her."
"Draco, wait!"
Haley heard the two pairs of feet run down the opposite corridor. She squeezed her arms tighter around her legs. 'He knew all along? And despite how close we got, he still… he doesn't… he couldn't…' The tears were streaming full force now. 'He can't love me because he knows I'm really Harry… I never should have told him how I felt… I'm so stupid! And now he knows that Harry Potter's in love with a boy… I bet he's getting a kick out of it…' Her thoughts were bitter, but she knew better. The sound of his voice, when he called out to her, held no malice.
She caught herself. 'What did I honestly think would happen though? That perhaps he's share my feelings and we'd live happily ever after? Come on Harry! Think logically!' She mentally berated herself. 'How did he know? Did Blaise tell him? No, Blaise sounded as surprised as I was… So how did he know? And if he knew, then why was he acting so nice to me this whole time? Maybe it was just a game for him! All this time, I thought we might be friends and he was just… just what? Making fun of me? Using me for his amusement? I should've known better… I should never have befriended Draco Malfoy…'
Her eyes stung from the tears while her heart felt like it had been torn to shreds. These thoughts only drove Haley deeper into her growing depression. 'I should never have let myself love him…I should never have-'
"Haley?"
--
Draco had spent the next hour looking everywhere for Haley. He never stopped running, despite the dirty looks he got from the various people he bumped into. All that mattered right now was that Draco find the girl he just crushed. 'I'm so stupid! Why didn't I say anything? I should've just spat it out!'
Draco quickly turned down the corner, nearly knocking down Ron and Hermione. He was just about to run past them, but he paused. "Have either of you seen Haley? It's important."
"No," Hermione frowned. "Why? What's wrong?"
Draco just shook his head. He spoke more to himself. "I' m so stupid, I should've just said something…"
"Malfoy, what happened?" Hermione tried again.
He looked as if he didn't want to divulge any more, but carried on anyway. "She told me that she loved me."
"What?!" came Ron's exclamation.
"I didn't say anything and now she's somewhere upset-"
"You idiot! Do you understand what you've done? Do you understand how hard that must've been for her?" Ron grabbed at Draco's sweater and yanked the boy toward him. His face was nearly as red as his hair.
"Ron!" Hermione tried to pry her boyfriend off.
"You didn't say anything? After she told you some thing like that?!" He was seething.
Draco shoved Ron away, aggravated by everything. "Why do you think I'm trying so hard to find her?" He brushed his shoulders off and sneered. "I don't need this right now. I need to find Haley. You and I can settle our differences some other time." And with that, Draco continued his sprint down the hall, leaving Hermione to comfort the angry Ron.
'Obviously they know the truth…' He quickly searched the library. 'Dammit, Harry, where did you go? The look on her face… I can't believe I did that!' Draco groaned in frustration. She wasn't there either. He hoped that maybe she went back to her room. So, without a care about the disgruntled people around him, Draco double-backed towards the common room.
He immediately spotted Blaise sitting by the door. "Well?"
He shook his head. "Nothing."
"Damn!" He ran a hand through blonde tresses.
"Oh, Draco, there you are."
Draco looked over his shoulder. "Not now, Pansy. I need to find Haley."
The girl was carrying a book with her. "Really? I thought she would've found you by now."
"So wait, you've seen her?"
"Well, yeah. She and I talked this morning. I think you'll be pretty happy when she finds you, Draco." Pansy looked pretty pleased with herself.
"What?"
"Well, I don't want to spoil it-"
"You knew she was going to confront me?"
"So you did see her?"
"Pansy." Draco gritted his teeth.
"Yes, okay? Like I said, we talked this morning and she said she was going to talk to you. Actually, I guess I kind of convinced her to, but ultimately she was the one who decided what she wanted. So yeah. I knew."
Draco just groaned.
"Why?" Pansy frowned. "What's going on?"
"She did talk to him." Blaise piped in. "She admitted her love for him and idiot over here said nothing."
Pansy gasped. "What? But I thought you loved hi…er. Her." The girl looked away hoping no one caught her mistake.
"Wait…" Unfortunately, Draco was more cunning than the average wizard. He studied his friend carefully. "You know, too?"
"Know what?"
Draco threw his hands up in the air. "She knows too!"
"How did you find out?" Blaise asked.
"Find what out?"
The boy looked around and lowered his voice. "That Haley's actually Harry…"
Again, Pansy gasped. "You know?" She looked at the now pacing Draco. "And you too?" Both boys nodded. "You idiot! If you knew, then why didn't you say anything to her?! I thought that you were in love with Harry!"
"I am!" There was a certain desperation in Draco's grey eyes. "It's just when Haley said it, all I could think about was how I wanted to hear those words coming from Harry."
"You idiot!" Pansy reiterated. She lowered her voice. "They're the same person!"
Blaise snorted. "That's what I said…"
"I know that!" Again, he ran his hand through his hair. "My thoughts were a little unclear to me at the moment and by the time I sorted it all out, she was already running out the door! So stop yelling at me and help me find her!"
Pansy rolled her eyes. She shoved the book into Draco's arms and sat down next to Blaise. "This is your mess. Clean it up yourself."
"Pansy-" He was going to say more, but the book in his arms caught his attention. "Wait, what is this?"
"The book I borrowed from you. I just finished it."
Frantically, as if remembering something vital, Draco flipped it open and began skimming through the pages.
"Draco, I hardly think this is the time to catch up on your reading," Blaise frowned.
"Hush up. There's something…" He turned over a few more pages.
"Draco?" Pansy groaned. "What are you doing? Harry-"
"Oh shit…" Draco's face immediately paled as he dropped the book from his hands. He ran to Haley's door and pounded on it. "HALEY?!"
Blaise immediately followed. "Draco? What are you doing? I told you she's not here!" He offered a smile to the people staring at them.
"She's in trouble!" He twisted the handle, but the door was locked. He growled in exasperation.
"What are you talking about Draco?" Blaise tried.
Draco didn't respond. Instead, he was racking his brain, trying to think of a way inside the room. 'Professor Snape!' The boy dashed off towards the Potions Master's door and began pounding even harder on the door. Unfortunately, there was also no response for Professor Snape was currently in deep conversation with Professor Flitwick on the other side of the school.
"Dammit!"
"Draco, calm down!" Blaise tried. "Please, just tell me what's-"
"The ball! The stupid ball!" Draco was awash with worry. "Inside is a poti…" Draco's mind clicked. "Of course! A potion!"
Blaise looked over to Pansy for some sort of help. She looked just as confused as the boy, but she picked up the book and looked at the page that Draco had stopped on. Blaise made his way over to her and they both glimpsed at it.
Draco dashed towards his desk. 'It should be right… there!' Draco grabbed the vial marked Transpartium and calculated his distance. He stood as far back from the wall that connected his and Haley's room as he could. Popping the top, he drank. Immediately, he was transported from his room to Haley's. And there, on the nightstand was the offensive item.
"The Immobility Orb?" Blaise read.
"Its perfume, when it's breathed into a person's system, is potent enough to put a person to near complete paralysis, thus immobilizing them." Pansy recited from memory. "That is, only when the code word is said. I just talked about this with Haley…"
Still in the room, Draco tried to grab the ball, but it shocked him. "Bloody hell!" Again he tried, but again he was shocked. "God dammit!" he said, shaking his hand as it stung from the shock. He quickly scanned the room and spotted his scarf sitting on Haley's chest. He wrapped it around his hand and then tried to pick up the ball. It worked. Using his free hand, he unlocked the door and hurried over to Blaise and Pansy. "Do you know who gave this to her?"
The two looked up from the book and stared at the ball in wonder.
"Is that what I think it is?" Pansy stared. Blaise just kept looking from the book to orb.
"Yes! Now do you know who gave it to her?"
Both just shook their heads 'no.'
Draco looked around the room. "…Where's Maxwell?"
"Ethan? You think Ethan-" Blaise started.
"Where is he?! If he's the one-"
"I'm right behind you, Malfoy. What the hell are you all yelling about?" Ethan frowned as he strolled up to the group upon hearing his name. "Everyone thinks you've all gone mad."
Draco spun around and grabbed Ethan's shirt with his free hand. "Where's Haley?" He growled.
"I don't know. I haven't seen her all day." He pushed Draco away, smoothing down his shirt. "What the hell is going on?"
"Did you give this to her?" Draco demanded, holding up the orb to the other boy.
Ethan glimpsed at the ball. "No. What is that?"
"Don't lie to me!"
"I'm not lying! I don't even know what that thing is!"
"You were stupid enough to try to attack me when we were younger, you might be stupid enough to do it again to Haley."
"That was a mistake, Malfoy. Get over it. I had a crush on you. You should be flattered."
"You thought I was a girl!"
"Guys! Focus!" Blaise yelled.
"You swear you didn't give this to her?" Draco demanded once more.
"I swear. I've never seen that thing before in my life!"
"Dammit! Then who the hell gave it to her?!" Frustrated, Draco wrapped the scarf around the ball, and threw it across the room through Haley's open door. The panic was beginning to settle in his stomach as worry coursed through his veins. This was not good. 'Harry, where ARE you?!'
Author's Notes/Disclaimer: I own naught Harry Potter and other related objects other than Ethan, Leir, and… well… this story. Muahahaha…
Well YOU know who gave it to her. And if you don't, SHAME ON YOU! I gave you all the proper hints. Think of everything Trelawny said! Those were dead giveaways. Haha. Sorry this one is shorter, but this is where I wanted to stop long before I ever started typing this out. Yes. But the next part should be out soon. Hopefully.
Thank you for reading!! And reviewing! I encourage you all to keep doing so! And thanks to Poruchik Potter whose random use of flying monkeys made me laugh enough to garner awkward glances from passersby. Which is a good thing. Haha.