12.
Allen hadn't seemed all too pleased with me in the dining hall, but that didn't put a damper on my determination at all. I followed him to dump his tray – which I had done the same, and then out in to the hall, leaving Krory to his lonesome. I sort of felt bad for the guy, but it wasn't enough to stop me from continuing on with my plan. Allen knew that I was following him, but he refused to acknowledge me, obviously not much had changed since the confrontation with Lenalee. He'd been quiet as a mouse since she left, nibbling on his food here and there – which was totally out of character for the bottomless pit he so often was.
I wasn't sure how to handle it, because I knew that I was the cause of his outlandish behavior. There wasn't much of anything that I could do to revert him back to his normal self, or so I thought. But I sure as hell could try a few theories of my own. I sped up so that I could block his entrance in to his bedroom before he'd reached the knob. His eyes narrowed slightly, before his gaze completely fell from me all together. I had to wince; Allen was being way harsher than he needed to – not that he needed to be harsh at all to begin with.
"Allen, you haven't said a word to me at all."
I whined, trying to play off how badly it truly hurt me. His gaze trailed up to my face, looking tired but still he didn't speak a word. I ushered him on, touching his shoulder slightly, but he wretched himself out of my grasp. For a moment, my fingers stayed in the unoccupied air, trembling slightly.
"Come on! Throw me a bone here Allen, you're my best friend…"
His eyes hardened slightly, as he stepped closer. I had trouble swallowing having him so close to me, and not knowing his intentions.
"Can you move please?"
I glowered back at the shorter boy, and grabbed a fist full of his shirt, and tugged him closer, until his chest met mine. I was enraged, and I wasn't going to hide it from him. The way he had been treating me recently and his actions…everything was completely ludicrous!
"NO. I won't be moving Allen, not until you tell me what I did to deserve all this."
His eyes faltered slightly, and he averted his gaze, away from my face.
"Deserve what…?"
He asked softly, refusing to put up much of a fight. Allen let my hand continue to keep its intimidating grip on his collar; it was almost as if he didn't care at all.
"Don't play stupid with me Allen! You've been ignoring me, and when you do speak to me, it's utterly distasteful and rude!"
His body shook slightly, from side to side, and I wasn't sure what was going on, until he raised his face from the floor and I saw that he was…laughing? At first it was a silent sort of laugh, but it quickly erupted in to a much louder one that almost seemed impossible for his small frame. I went to take hold of his shoulders again, but stopped myself, remembering the mental note I had made earlier when he had flinched away from me.
"Allen…? You think this is funny?"
His hands were clutching his sides, and his laughter hadn't quite stopped, but he seemed to be almost enjoying it. I stepped back until I was pressed tightly against his door. I hadn't realized how tightly I was pushing in to it, until I heard it groan with my weight added to it. I pushed off slightly, and stared at Allen who had slightly quieted down.
"Allen. Please talk to me. I don't understand why you've been acting so weird since we…since we…"
I trailed off, not sure what to call what we had done. Though, this certainly got his attention. It sparked a glimmer in his eyes, and he quickly lunged for the doorknob, but I stopped his hand by grabbing it tightly and holding it up above his head. It dangled loosely, almost like it was going to detach from his body completely. Allen's eyes were fierce, and it only proved to intensify the glare he shot at me.
"Whatever you have to say, you can say out here Allen."
He stayed quiet for a while, until his arm was ripped from my grip. It was so sudden that I wasn't completely sure that he had done it himself. I looked down at him, and he was huffing with rage. His small shoulders rose up and down with every breath that pounded out of his mouth. Obviously I had done something to warrant this sort of behavior and treatment, though I just wish he was willing to tell me whatever it was I had done.
"I don't have to speak to you."
"No. You don't have to do anything, but I'm asking you to."
"I can't deal with this right now."
Allen moved forward, as if he had intended to shove me aside, but I quickly caught both of his struggling hands and pinned him against his bedroom door. He wasn't happy with my new found advantage, but I refused to give it up. I was living, and Allen didn't have a care in the world when it came to our current situation.
"Then when can you deal with it Allen? Because it seems to me like you've been avoiding me a whole lot lately."
My words seeped with agitation, but they did little to sooth Allen's rage. He fought ferociously against my grip, trying to destroy the grip I had on him. I lifted my leg to pin him further by pushing his hips against the wall as well. An audible wince left his lips, and I almost felt sorry for him.
"Sure. Go ahead and continue on with your silent act Allen. I doubt you can hurt me much more than you already have."
I stopped, and took in a deep breath, shutting my eyes momentarily, trying to keep myself from crying.
"But then…you wouldn't care, would you?"
It was a last attempt for him to tell me that he didn't mean to treat me the way he did. It was a pathetic attempt at that, but it was still something. There wasn't much of a change, aside from his eyes – they were wide eyed, and shocked. The look of pure confusion lead me to wonder if he honestly hadn't known that he had hurt me so badly. That was laughable, there wasn't any way he would be able to overlook that bulging fact. Softly, I released his hands, so that they fell to his sides. He was silent, and still refused to speak. I lifted my hand again, though this time it was formed in to a fist. Allen's eyes seemed to widen a size up, clearly afraid of me hurting him. …As if I'd be able to. I slammed my fist in to the stone wall behind his head, and gritted my teeth in pain. Small trails of blood began to form, and slide their way across the pale skin of my arm. I shut my eyes, and smiled.
"Just as I thought."
I moved back from him, and took a few steps away from him. He was shaking, with his arms held against his chest. Allen couldn't have possibly been worried about me, after the way he had been treating me. I shook my head, and turned to walk away. Half of me expected him to chase after me, grabbing a tight hold on my wrists, and wheeling me around with a heated apology on his lips…but it never came.