The sun rose gracefully, kissing the dew-covered grass in a morning welcome. Birds ruffled their feathers and some went off to hunt for food. One alighted fondly upon a branch of a bush and peaked into the shrubbery…

'Go away!' the bush yelled, shivering as if cold, and the bird nearly died from surprise.

It was Vernon in the bush, sulking in amongst the green leaves, cradling a gun as if a newborn baby. He pointed it at the bird and said loudly, 'Go on, get!'

The bird, sensing a slight dilemma in finding breakfast that morning, shrieked loudly and flew off. Vernon huffed and then became silent. A rose bush near him moved a bit.

'Daddy, these roses have awful thorns! Can't we just go in the house?' it said, in a very Dudley-like voice.

'Now, Dudley, they'll expect us in the house! We'll surprise them in the bushes when they come to pick you up – we'll shoot at them and take them by surprise. Ha ha, I can see it now!' Vernon snorted as a bee came dangerously close to his left nostril.

A lily stalk started to quiver a bit as a hummingbird tried to drink from its flowers.

'I just want out of this bush NOW!' a voice, much like Petunia's, roared from it, 'This is just reminding me of my sister!'

'Hush! I hear a noise!' A click of a gun could be heard from Vernon's bush. Everyone fell silent as a humming noise, followed by some whistling could be heard.

Vernon jumped out of the bush and shot. A child, who previously had been walking and singing to himself, ran away crying as his fallen popsicle lay on the sidewalk, bearing a bullet.

'Oops.' Vernon said grimly, sitting back down in the bushes and swearing a bit.

Hours passed, and numerous times did Dudley complain about being hurt by thorns. Vernon told him to be quiet unless 'he'd like to go to a bloody school run by lunatics!'

Then, Vernon heard a slight scuffling and a sound of dripping. His pant leg soon was soaked with warm water. Rain, he thought bitterly. He peered out of the shrub slowly to find a dog relieving himself on the bush.

'Ach!' Vernon screamed, and the dog was very pleased to find a new friend. He hopped around and barked, licked at Vernon's face and then found the rose and lily bush. He too marked his territory there, delivered some slobbery kisses and then ran off, leaving three very angry (and drenched) Dursley's behind him.

Then, half an hour later, when Vernon was settled back in his bush and cursing the confined space (which held smells in very well) he heard another rustling sound. He got his gun ready and popped out of the bush, shooting at his target with great speed, expecting to see a fallen dragon at any moment and feel the triumph of winning over that blasted school...

It was the mailman, who yelped as the bullet entered his mail bag, plowed right through the letters, exited and crashed into the grass. Shakily, he handed Vernon his mail and then quickly ran off. Vernon saw a letter and groaned, no mirth in his voice at all. He tore the note open with the tip of his firearm and read out:

Dear Dudley,

We are saddened to inform you that we could not pick you up today; the dragons were ill after a meal of rotten cow carcass. We will pick you up at eleven o'clock tomorrow sharp (with dragons as transportation – of course!)

See you soon!

Vernon burst into tears of anguish and crawled into a fetal position on his driveway.

Back at Hogwarts, Ron, Harry and even Hermione were (again) laughing at their marvelous prank.

Hoookay, let me explain this chapter.

This was actually the story The Fake Letter part 2, yet nobody seemed to be able find it. Some people wanted a second part, but they didn't know there was one. So now it is the second chapter to this story. This will most likely be the last chapter xD

Thank-you to everybody who reviewed, favourited, etc, with this story. I will eventually be coming out with my newer version of The Cat Project, which is another HP fanfic, so maybe you could check it out xD

Thanks for being supermegafoxyawesomehot people! Remember to keep calm and love Harry Potter!