A/N: This chapter just kept fighting back every step of the way as I was writing it. Hope it lives up to everyone's expectations. I think I've finally managed to tame it into submission.
End of Previous Chapter:
Mac just smiled. "Thanks for the tempting offer Don, but I actually have plans."
Don stopped in his tracks. "Hey, way to go Mac. Care to elaborate?"
Mac merely shook his head. "No, I don't." And he walked to the elevator, Don trailing behind.
As they stood waiting for the doors to open, Mac's phone beeped. Glancing down, he saw a text from Jo. "Don't 4get, my place, 8:30. If u behave, I promise I won't yell at u."
Mac smiled as he entered the elevator, shaking his head firmly as he caught sight of Don's raised eyebrows. Don smiled to himself, figuring that as long as Mac seemed happy, he wouldn't push for details.
A Nice Dinner 7 – Sixth Course: Digestif (an alcoholic beverage served after a meal serving to aid digestion)
A minute before 9:00, Mac pulled up outside Jo's building. He'd called her from his apartment, prior to taking a quick shower, just to let her know he was running a half an hour late. Not seeing any parking, he began circling the block.
As he drove, he considered what Don had said earlier. At Don's first mention that Mac should go out with Jo, he had feared Don already suspected something between them, but it had become clear he was just offering a suggestion. An insightful one at that, Mac mused.
Still searching for a space, his thoughts turned to Jo. It was obvious everyone in the Lab adored her. How could you not? He couldn't honestly think of anyone in the Lab that would not be happy if they found out he and Jo were together. As for the Department, Sinclair, the administration? Well, he supposed he'd have to deal with any fallout on that end as it occurred, but practically speaking, there were no rules against it. As long as they remained professional. He shook his head ruefully as he realized that was exactly what he'd intimated Jo would be unable to do earlier in the day.
He thought back to when he was with Peyton. No one had called into question their relationship, or ability to remain professional, once Mac had finally come to terms with making it public himself. It was just his insecurities getting the better of him now. He knew that. Now he just had to let Jo know.
He finally pulled into a space three blocks away. As he got out, he debated whether to bring his gym bag. He'd thrown some old jeans, a t-shirt and tennis shoes in, thinking ahead to the next day when he'd be helping move an old friend's daughter into a new apartment.
He hesitated, staring at the bag. Part of him feared that showing up on Jo's doorstep with an overnight bag would be a rather overconfident move right now. While he hoped their playful banter earlier in his office and more recently on the phone boded well for continuing their evening past dinner, he couldn't be certain. And although the last few hours, and Don's unknowing encouragement earlier, had served to bolster his own belief that "they" could work, he realized he hadn't shared any of this with Jo yet. She was likely still feeling hurt and perhaps a bit angry after his earlier lapse of confidence in their relationship.
He made up his mind and tossed the bag behind the seat. Closing the car door, he walked a few feet before suddenly stopping and turned back. Opening the passenger door, he unlocked the glove box to retrieve the plastic sack he'd stowed there earlier. He removed the jewelry box, turning it over in his hand. Now was not the right time for that either, he decided, so he stashed it back in the bag and grabbed the condom box instead. But if it wasn't the right time to give her the gift, or bring in his change of clothes for tomorrow, did it really make sense to bring the condoms? If by some miracle they even ended up at that point tonight and he pulled them out, would she be thankful or find it presumptuous?
He pinched the bridge of his nose. For Christ's sake, he thought, no wonder I hardly date. It's just too damned complicated. He glanced at his watch. 9:10. He was officially late now and no matter what he did, she would probably be annoyed. Whether because he was late, because he brought an overnight bag, or because he showed up with a box of condoms. In the end, he might as well just suffer through it all at once. And it was supposed to storm tonight – he didn't want to have to trek back to the car for something later. He grabbed the gym bag, tucked the condom box in his jacket pocket, and trudged the three blocks to Jo's apartment, shaking his head at the staggering complexity of having a relationship.
As he approached her building, he noticed Jo through the dimly lit lobby, retrieving her mail. He stood on the stoop watching her a moment. She was dressed casually in a pair of very faded black jeans and thin, loose-knit black cardigan with a white tank top underneath. Her hair was tied up and it looked like she had slippers on her feet. He smiled slightly; despite her casual attire she still exuded such an unaffected beauty.
He rapped on the window and waved. He'd startled her and she looked up suddenly, dropping one of the envelopes. Catching sight of him, she smiled, looking relieved, and after scooping up the letter from the floor she came to the entryway, stopping just shy of the door itself.
She made no move to open it, but rather stood stock still, staring at him, her arms crossing slowly in front of her. He looked at her, his eyebrows furrowing in concern. He finally shrugged his shoulders, mouthing "What's wrong?"
She gave him a stubborn look, but it soon melted into a smirk and he breathed a sigh of relief as she reached out and opened the door, a sly smile on her face. She nodded at his gym bag, stepping aside to let him in. "So you're movin' in already?"
He meant to sigh, but a small chuckle escaped instead. "I'll have you know that's why I'm late, because I couldn't decide whether or not to bring an overnight bag."
"Well, it looks like you came to the conclusion we'd patch things up."
He shrugged, but the hint of a smile played across his lips. "It's gonna rain and I'm not parked close – just thought I'd be prepared. If you throw me out, I'll have something to hold over my head while I run back to my car."
She laughed and pressed the elevator button.
As they waited, she looked at him strangely, then reached out her hand and felt his hair, her fingernails slightly grazing his scalp. "You're all wet." She stated matter of factly.
God, he loved it when she did that to his hair. "Yea, I took a quick shower."
The door pinged and opened. Jo stepped in. "Hmm, and I thought we were gonna take a bubble bath later on."
He raised an eyebrow but she was staring straight ahead. Sometimes he just had no idea whether or not she was kidding. Before he could reply, they arrived at her floor and the elevator creaked open.
She paused outside her door, feeling for her keys in her sweater pocket.
"Jo." His voice was so soft, she had to look up at him to be sure he had really spoken. His expression was thoughtful, but when his gaze met hers, she could see deep sorrow in his eyes. "I apologize for what I said before I dropped you off today. That was completely insensitive of me. I don't know what I thought might happen. I really am sorry." She didn't respond, merely nodded slowly.
He reached out and cupped her cheek ever so softly with his palm. His touch was so warm, so inviting, but a second later she pulled abruptly away, looking into his eyes, a tiny glint in her eye. "We still need to talk mister. Don't think you're gettin' out of it by bein' all romantic."
He cursed himself inwardly for having second guessed her professionalism earlier, but he smiled at her anyway. "Don't worry – I'll be on my best behavior. I've seen you angry and believe me, I have no desire to be on the firing end of your wrath."
"Wise move." And she narrowed her eyes slightly as she motioned him into her apartment and shut the door behind them.
As they entered her apartment, Mac noticed the table was already set for the two of them at adjoining sides. There was soft music playing – a faint mixture of slow jazz or blues. He couldn't quite discern what it was, but it was pleasing. The lights were low and she'd placed a singe candle right in the middle of the table. The aroma emanating from the kitchen was tantalizing to say the least and he could feel his mouth begin to water.
"Have a seat Mac, everything's ready. I just need to bring it out."
Mac hesitated. "I'll help you."
She shook her head. "Nope, you sit. I'll get it; it's nothing much."
He frowned but complied, placing his bag on the floor, hanging his jacket on an empty hook and seating himself.
Jo returned carrying two steaming bowls and set them on the table. She smiled at him, then turned and walked back to the kitchen. She emerged the next time with a bottle of wine, a large bowl of salad and a baguette tucked under her arm.
Mac looked at it all as she sat down. "Smells amazing. You just did all this?"
She shrugged. "It's nothing extravagant. Shrimp and grits, greens and salad. You were expecting burgers weren't you?" Her mouth quirked into a slight smile.
He laughed. "No, I just didn't know you were such a culinary artist." He replied, serving himself generously from the bowls and feeling a bit taken aback that he hadn't had any idea she could cook.
She shrugged. "You'd better taste it before you start singing my praises as a chef." Pouring them both a glass of wine, she continued. "I like to cook but don't do it often enough. I find it relaxing when I do though. Even therapeutic." She stared at him a moment and he felt her heavy gaze on him. He looked up sheepishly.
"Jo, I really am sorry about . . ."
She shook her head, reaching to place her finger on his mouth, silencing him. "My daddy always said that when you sit down at the table, whether in the company of friend or foe, you leave your differences aside and eat a civilized meal. Plenty of time to get down to business later on. Arguing does nothing to help digestion."
He looked at her a moment, then nodded hesitantly, finally turning his gaze to the plate of food in front of him.
They continued the meal without further discussion of their status as a couple. They compared notes on their respective cases that day. Jo spoke about Ellie's soccer team and her newfound love for camping. Mac told her about his friend Roy, and his daughter who, barely a month in as a freshman at NYU, had already decided she needed to move off-campus.
Their conversation was pleasant, friendly. . . and superficial. Mac couldn't help but think that it was just as it would have been had the past 24 hours never happened; had they never embarked upon a relationship in the first place. And he didn't like it.
They were both finished eating, nursing their glasses of wine, when Mac had to speak. "Jo, I don't want to malign your father's memory, but I really think we need to talk about . . . us. Sooner rather than later." He placed his hand tentatively on hers. She had a sudden flashback to her own actions at the restaurant. Just last night, she mused. So much had happened.
She nodded to Mac, standing up and gently removing her hand from his. She motioned him into the seating area with a movement of her head. It seemed she pointedly took the flowery armchair, leaving the entire length of the couch for him alone.
He sighed, looking at his feet a moment, feeling her anticipatory stare boring into him. "Jo, I shouldn't have spoken earlier today without taking the time to think about what I wanted to say. I know I mislead you, scared you, hurt you. That was absolutely not my intention." He glanced up at her, but her face was unreadable.
He continued, his gaze shifting from her face to his hands in his lap. "I really am committed to us, to making this work. And although I've done it before, it does not come easy to me - having a relationship with a colleague - particularly you because we work so closely together. You're the Assistant Supervisor of the Lab, for Christ's sake."
"I know my title." She stated, her voice monotone.
He nodded, his confidence slightly subdued by the coldness of her comment. "It . . . it just feels a bit awkward." He snuck a quick look in her direction. Her expression remained stoic.
He took a deep breath, trying not to let her seeming indifference to his words deter him. "That's what I was trying to tell you earlier. Not that I don't see a way to make this work, or that I don't want to find one. Just that it's going to be difficult. And I'm a little scared." He rubbed his hand across his face. "No, actually I'm really scared. This afternoon, that was my fear getting the upper hand. The image of us both at that crime scene, everyone watching us." This time, he saw a flash of anger flit across her face.
She took a deep breath. "Boy, when you questioned my ability to work a scene with you today, that was a low blow Mac. That really hurt."
"I know, and I'm truly sorry . . ."
She cut him off. "I know you know. And you already apologized, multiple times. But I haven't had a chance yet to vent, so just be quiet a minute and listen to how I feel."
She ran her fingers through her hair and her bracelets chimed. She stared directly at him. "Look Mac, I know this is hard for you. But you know what? It's hard for me too. It's scary for me too. You're not the only one here. It's not all about you, it doesn't all revolve around you. I'm part of this too."
He opened his mouth to say something but she cut him off, scoffing slightly. "Mac, it's a relationship. That implies 'relating', connecting, which requires at least two people. Not just you. Not just your concerns." She sighed but continued before Mac could respond. "Mac, I have my own issues. I have a family, and although they're not babies anymore, they're still my family. I have my own past, I have my own career, I have my own professional reputation to maintain. It's not . . . just . . . you."
"I acted stupidly, I know . . ."
"You acted selfishly. Completely ignoring my concerns, or even whether I might have any. For a minute there, you reminded me of Russ."
"Jesus Jo, I'm not Russ. I would hope that from the few years we've known each other you can see that."
Jo smiled, but he could see hesitation in her features. "I know you're not Russ. But Russ wasn't always 'Russ' either. I loved him enough to marry him once. He changed. I changed. Our relationship changed. And your lack of confidence in my ability to separate my personal life from my professional one just made me think back to some of the issues Russ and I had. He didn't think the two could coexist and wanted me to give up one. I'm sorry, but your lack of confidence in my ability to remain professional on the job dredged up a whole lot from my past."
"I know, old wounds aren't easily forgotten."
"Well, they shouldn't be if you learned anything from them."
"Jo, I know. I would never doubt your professionalism. I've worked with you for almost three years and have never doubted your commitment to your job as well as your commitment to your family. You seem to have an uncanny ability to meld the two in your life with just the right balance that it all works seamlessly. I should never have doubted that you wouldn't grace our relationship with that same commitment and balance."
Jo nodded but said nothing.
Mac pursed his lips a moment and looked over at her, speaking quietly. "And you know, I'm glad you brought up your family. I've never been with anyone who had a family before, and . . . frankly that's a little scary for me too. It's something I've never experienced for myself and it's a bit disconcerting to think that I may be thrust into someone else's, especially this far along in our lives."
"Mac, I expect my kids are going to be the least of our concerns. Ellie adores you. Tyler respects you. And if they see I'm happy, then they'll be happy too. They're old enough that I don't expect they'll see you as an intruder and certainly not a replacement for Russ. He's had a minimal role in Ellie's life; she probably knows you better than him. And Tyler, like you said last night, he's all grown up. He's got his own relationship issues to deal with; he could probably care less about mine."
"And Russ?"
She groaned. "Russ needs to get over me."
Jo paused, deep in thought a moment, before continuing. "Nonetheless, my family doesn't need a play by play of our relationship either. In fact, I doubt I'll tell them for a good while."
"Of course; same goes for everyone at the Lab I should think." She nodded slightly, before he continued. "And I am sorry about earlier - I let my fears and self-doubt take over today. It won't happen again."
"You know Mac if it happened today, it probably is gonna happen again. But I'm right here. You can talk to me anytime about any concerns, any fears you may have. We're in this together. I want it to work too." She reached out and placed her hand on his knee. "Please don't start building barriers already. If anything, you should begin to tear some down. If we're going to be together, we need to share more than just sex."
He smiled and nodded his head. He reached out and gently grasped her hand in his, bringing it to his mouth and placing a light kiss on it. Jo smiled and stroked his palm with her finger. He was about to rise and lean over to kiss her properly on the lips, when she stood from the chair, her hand disengaging from his.
"Let's clear the dishes." She announced, as she walked over to the table. Mac sighed and rose from the couch. Despite what she was saying, she'd seemed to be maintaining a certain level of distance between the two of them all night. As he approached the table he eyed his gym bag and cringed inwardly. Bringing it tonight had clearly been a mistake, he thought, as he began clearing dishes.
-/-/-/-/-
"Hey you want to taste my mama's special after dinner coffee?" Jo called from the kitchen as Mac wandered in from the bathroom. She was finishing up the last of the dishes.
"Why does the fact that it's your 'mama's' special recipe scare me slightly, even though I've never met her?"
Jo chuckled. "Because her reputation extends well past the state line. Plus you already know yours truly – multiply me by a factor of about 50 and you might have a sense of what she's like."
He smiled. '"Fifty of you might be . . . interesting to say the least."
She scoffed. "You're having enough trouble with just one, so I'd take it easy tiger."
He shook his head, grinning. "All right. But I'll still try the drink. I assume it's slightly stronger than just coffee?"
Here eyes glinted. "It could tame even my daddy." She handed him a wet towel. "Here, you wipe off the table, I'll bring out the coffee when it's ready."
He nodded and turned back towards the dining room. Jo started the coffee brewing and reached for the bottle of Southern Comfort on a shelf over the sink. Just as she lifted it up, a small collection of sticky-notes from the neighboring cupboard door suddenly detached and took flight, cascading down and startling Jo. Her hand slipped off the bottle and it came crashing down against the edge of the sink, the neck of the bottle cracking and the last of the liquor seeping out and down the drain.
Mac came flying around the corner and she looked up at him. "Oh my God, Mac. I can't believe I just did that."
He glanced past her into the sink, seeing the cracked bottle. "Well you've got good aim; there's not much to clean up." She rolled her eyes and stepped back from the sink.
He picked up the bottle, dropping it in the garbage. "What happened?"
"I was startled by an errant sticky-note floating down from above."
Mac looked at her, his face a mirror of incomprehension, but rather than ask for clarification, he merely reached into the cupboard for two coffee mugs.
"Well, we'll just have to go get some more." Jo said matter of factly.
Mac glanced at his watch. It was almost 11:30. "Jo, just plain coffee is fine.
She gazed up at him, the shadow of a smile crossing her mouth. "No, I really wanna make this. I haven't made one in so long. There's a liquor store just around the corner, open 'til midnight on Saturdays. Let's go for a little walk. Helps digestion anyway."
Mac trailed behind her as she moved towards the entryway to put on her shoes. "So, should I be worried, you know the hours of the neighborhood liquor store?"
Jo chuckled as she grabbed her keys and wallet from the corner table. "Oh please, they sell more than just alcohol. Come on, you know that feeling when you drag home from a grueling late shift, body aching, stomach empty, mind numb. The only remedy, a pint of triple chocolate chip ice cream." She sighed dramatically, a forlorn look on her face. "A rather poor replacement for a good shoulder massage, I must admit, but sometimes you gotta take what you can get."
He shook his head as he put his shoes on. "Gee, I never pegged you as a chocolate lover." He deadpanned.
She shot him a withering glance and he barely had time to grab his coat from the wall, before she pulled him out her door.
A few minutes later they entered the small corner store. The cashier glanced up from his crossword puzzle and smiled upon seeing Jo. "Jo, how's it goin'?" He greeted her amicably. She waved back, flashing him a smile. "Hey George. Not too bad. You?" He gave her a thumbs up and returned to his puzzle.
Mac looked sideways at her. "First name basis? That's a lot of pints of ice cream." She punched him playfully in the arm and walked up to the register, as Mac disappeared behind her, his attention focused on something at the end of the aisle. "George, I need some Southern Comfort."
George smiled and stood up, reaching behind him to grab a bottle. "Southern Comfort for a Southern Belle. Good choice tonight – gonna storm any second. Keep you cozy!"
She smiled and opened her wallet. Mac reappeared, sidling up beside her, and placed a pint of triple chocolate chip ice cream on the counter along with two twenty dollar bills.
She glanced up at him, her mouth blossoming into a huge smile. He winked at her as he finished paying and took the bag from George, nodding as they exited the store.
Mac held the door for her and tentatively placed his arm around her shoulders. But as they began walking, Mac felt a raindrop hit the tip of his nose. He glanced up, noting the stark contrast in the cloud cover from when they'd entered the store only a few minutes earlier. The storm was moving fast and from the looks of the clouds overhead, rain was imminent. He glanced over at Jo. She was smiling up at the sky. "Oh Mac, can't you just smell the rain?"
He nodded slightly, taking her hand to hurry her. "I can feel it too." But before the words were out of his mouth, the clouds released and a torrential downpour inundated the city.
Mac pulled her and they took off running. Just after rounding the corner, Mac noticed a recessed doorway to a music shop, covered by a small awning, and pulled her in. He pushed her back against the locked door, and turned his own back to the sidewalk, trying his best to shield her. One glance in her direction however and it was obvious it was too late.
Her hair was drenched, water still dripping down her nose and chin, her mascara smudged. Her clothing was completely soaked through, her light cardigan now hanging heavily, plastered to her body, and the thin tank top rendered nearly inconsequential, soaked as it was. She looked back at him and began laughing hysterically. Mac simply looked at her a moment, but her mirth was contagious and eventually what started as an amused grin turned into a hearty chuckle from him as well.
"Shall we wait it out?" He asked her once they'd calmed down, nodding his head towards the still pouring rain.
But before she could answer her teeth began chattering, her shoulders shivering uncontrollably.
His features wrinkled in concern. "Jo, you're freezing." Mac managed to shake off his jacket and wrap it around her shoulders.
"Mac, don't, you're going to be soaked."
He laughed. "I already am." He reached out to her, pulling her body close to his, to warm her, he told himself; but in reality, he knew he just needed to feel her close to him. She'd been too distant for his liking this evening.
"Are we going to be ok now?" He said into her ear a moment later, trying to be heard above the pounding of the rain on the awning.
She pulled back from him slightly. "I don't know Mac, are we?" She looked up at him questioningly.
He reached out and grazed her cheek ever so softly with his right thumb. Damn, she thought, that always feels so good. She felt herself melting into him, her eyelids closing heavily. She nuzzled her face against his hand, then leaned against his wet sweater, pushing her shivering body further into his, trying to regain some of their closeness.
Mac softly stroked the side of her hair for a moment, leaning his cheek down towards her, resting it gently on her head. Slowly she tilted her head back and smiled softly up at him. He moved his head down towards her, tentatively, uncertain of how she might respond.
She felt him nearing her mouth and tensed slightly. She'd been wanting to pull back, not just now - from him, but in general - from them. She'd feared they'd moved too fast for him last night, and she'd intended to put some distance between them. Not to end things, just to move more slowly. And, on a more selfish note, she didn't want to get hurt. At least any more than she already had this afternoon.
But he had apologized, sincerely. And she could understand his fears. She was experiencing some of them too. Yet she didn't understand his way of dealing with them. He was so damned closed off. If he'd only talked to her earlier about how to navigate working together. But now, in his arms, enveloped by his smell, his strength, his whole being, she felt that need for distance melting away into the warmth emanating from his embrace.
When he was a breath away from her lips and she still hadn't slapped him, he figured he was safe for now and placed a soft, gentle kiss there. Overcome by the myriad emotions she was experiencing, she suddenly pulled him tighter to her, deepening the kiss quickly, her hand rising up to toy with the damp hair just behind his ear.
She dissolved into him and they stood, entwined together, for over a minute, lost in the kiss, until Mac finally pulled his head back looking into her eyes.
"I think we're going to be fine." He said softly, glancing back to see that the rain, although still coming down, had diminished markedly.
He smiled. "Shall we make a run for it?" He asked her, moving back slightly.
She shifted, adjusting Mac's jacket on her shoulders so she could put her arms through the sleeves. She looked him directly in the eye a moment and her eyes narrowed. Damn, she just couldn't resist him. "Race ya." She suddenly blurted out.
Her gaze fixed on Mac's, she saw the spark of comprehension light his eyes as her words sunk in, followed by the unmistakable glint of competition. But before he could act, she jetted around him and shot out of the doorway towards her apartment, a huge smile on her face. A split second later, he followed suit, gaining on her fast. A few steps from the entry to her building, he reached out and grabbed her arm, causing her to lose her balance. He pulled her back against him, keeping her from stumbling.
She struggled in his arms. "Hey, you can't do that. You cheated."
Mac was laughing deeply. He wrestled her up to the doorway and touched his shoulder to the glass door, still holding her in a bear hug. "I won." He stated triumphantly, a giddy grin plastered on his face.
She managed to twist around in his arms so that she was facing him. "Mac, you cheated!" She cried indignantly, pushing against his chest in a halfhearted effort to free herself. She stopped struggling suddenly and a moment later he felt the distinct pressure of her knee, poised, just touching his groin. "Better be careful Mac." A smug smile on her face.
"You wouldn't dare." He narrowed his eyes, staring at her, but she met his gaze, the edge of her mouth turning up slightly, the pressure of her knee increasing ever so slightly between his legs.
He knew she was unbalanced, standing only on one foot, most of her body weight supported by his own hold on her. Feigning concern for himself, he slowly released his grip around her body, then suddenly grabbed both her shoulders as he slid to the side, his leg sweeping under hers, twisting her around so that her back was now against the doorway. He pressed up sideways against her, preventing her from moving.
"Gotcha." He intoned. "Remind me to send you for remedial counter-attack training the next time they have a seminar at the Academy." And he smiled.
Her eyes widened, whether in surprise at his quick move or in annoyance at what he'd just said, he wasn't sure.
He laughed anyway and loosened his hold on her, his body still pressing against hers. He leaned in and placed a small kiss on her wet forehead.
"You know how beautiful you are?" He murmured next to her ear
Her lips crooked into a half smile. "Mac, I'm all wet."
He merely smiled. "I noticed." She glanced down at herself, suddenly all too aware of the fact that her drenched clothing provided him with a perfect silhouette of her body underneath. She noticed his unabashed stare, the way he fought to tear his gaze away from her chest, and decided that perhaps maintaining distance between them wasn't really what she wanted right now.
Her lips parted slightly as she felt a tingling sensation spreading out through her body all the way to her fingertips. She leaned into him, her hand reaching out to cup him gently through his soaking trousers. He wasn't aroused yet, but she hoped that would change shortly.
"Have you ever had sex outside Mac?" She asked suddenly.
He eyed her suspiciously and she felt him tense. "Jo, I don't think your doorstep is the place . . ."
"Don't get all worked up. It was just a question, not a proposition. I was just curious."
He took a deep breath, and shrugged. "Claire and I used to go camping. . ."
"No, no, Mac, that doesn't count. I mean hard, fast, spur of the moment, can't wait 'til we get home so we're doin' it right out here in the alleyway, sex. It's different."
He cocked his head slightly, his eyes avoiding her penetrating gaze. "Maybe, a long time ago." His voice was low, but she had the impression it wasn't out of shyness.
"Am I making you nervous?"
He shook his head slowly. "Nervous isn't the word that comes to mind."
She pressed even harder against him, her hand stroking down his chest, through the wet fabric of his sweater, finally coming to rest just below his belt, where she could feel him, noticeably larger this time. He shivered, whether from the rain or her caress on his groin, she couldn't tell.
He leaned down to whisper in her ear. "What do you say we go upstairs and kiss and make up?"
Jo fumbled with his jacket a moment, and gave him a saucy grin as she pulled out the box of condoms he'd stashed in there earlier. "I was kinda hopin' for more than just a kiss."
Mac took a deep breath. He was confused by her sudden change in demeanor. Barely an hour ago she'd said she wanted them to share more than just sex. But she suddenly gave him one last squeeze before withdrawing her hand from his crotch to reach over and press the entry code on the panel, and he decided any further analysis of her state of mind right now would be fruitless. He let her take his hand and lead him through the lobby.
As they entered the elevator, Mac couldn't help himself any longer. As Jo walked in, he quickly moved against her, pushing her back against the wall. Startled, she looked up to see the spark of desire clouding his eyes, the need etched in his expression, the barely controlled lust evident in the tight set of his jaw and mouth. God, in that moment, he looked so intense, so passionate, so virile. And she ached for him.
He reached out, his hand roughly tracing the outline of her breast through her dripping clothes. He pulled her closer to him, his mouth seeking out hers, his hand continuing its assault on her nipple. She moaned, reaching up with her right hand to weave her fingers through the hair on the back of Mac's head.
Realizing the elevator doors were still open, Jo extricated her fingers from Mac's hair just long enough to press the floor button. Mac reached down with his other hand, stroking the denim of her jeans between her legs. Jo shuddered at the pressure of his hand there. She thought that had her clothes not been so drenched from the rain, he would likely feel her arousal all the way through her clothing.
His hand snaked back behind her and pulled her even closer to him. There was no question as to his level of arousal now. She could feel him pressing hard against her hip and she moved her leg, increasing the pressure. Through their kiss, she heard a muffled groan from his throat, and she moved her leg again, more forcefully this time. He pulled away from her mouth, his breath hissing, his forehead now leaning against hers, and his other hand rose up to fondle her other nipple.
Exiting the elevator, they paused outside her apartment, Jo trying to extricate her keys from her pocket while Mac continued his assault on her breasts and mouth. Finally managing to open the door to her apartment, they stumbled inside, Mac's hand still touching the curve of her left breast, their lips still joined.
Jo managed to close the door by pushing Mac's body against it, her keys dropping to the floor. Her hands trailed down his sweater to the hem, which she grabbed and unceremoniously yanked over his head and arms, sending a million tiny water droplets spraying over them from the water logged threads. She shuddered at the feel of the cold drops splattering her face and arms, then groaned in protest, realizing that there was still the damp cotton of his undershirt keeping her from making direct contact with the hard muscle of his chest.
Mac caught on quickly and ripped it over his head. A hazy image of Ellie wandering through the front door, home early from her camping trip, flitted through Jo's imagination and she reached out blindly, searching for the deadbolt and chain, finally locating them and moving them into place before anything could intrude upon their fervent coupling.
She toed her shoes off and let Mac's jacket fall off her arms to the doormat, her mouth still on his, Mac's hands now attempting to wander under her tank top. They moved a few feet into the room and Mac, frustrated at his inability to peel away the sodden material of her tank top from her skin, grabbed at her cardigan, pulling it forcefully down over her shoulders and past her waist so he could lift her small top up and over her head, finally freeing her breasts. She'd had no bra on he realized, and he felt himself throb and grow harder at the thought.
As he dipped his head, lathing her nipples with his tongue, Jo struggled to remove her cardigan, which was still stuck around her waist. She finally yanked it hard enough the button tore off and it, along with the sweater, fell to her feet. They had almost reached the hallway by now.
"Mac, bedroom." She managed to spit out. "End . . . of the hall . . ."
"Too far." He groaned, and she shuddered as his hands began to unlatch his belt, realizing just what he'd meant.
His belt out of the way, he ripped open the button on his pants, yanking the zipper down as he peeled the wet garment over his hips and down his legs, his wet boxers sliding down with them.
He reached out to her, the urgency of his need evident in the way his hands trembled, fumbling with her jeans. The denim, drenched from the rain, was impossibly uncooperative as he tried without success to undo the clasp above her zipper. She pushed his hands away and tackled them herself, finally managing to extricate herself, one leg at a time. She shivered, her clammy skin suddenly making contact with the cool air of her apartment.
As soon as she'd divested herself of her pants, he curled his thumbs into each side of her thong and drug it roughly down her legs, not even bothering to remove it from her feet.
She noticed him lift his hand to his mouth, realizing suddenly that at some point he must've grabbed a condom from the box in his jacket pocket. He tore open the packet with his teeth, letting it fall to the ground as he looked down at himself and rolled it up his length.
Faced with the intensity of his hunger for her, she suddenly felt weak.
"Mac . . ."
Finished with the condom, he glanced up at her, his body approaching to press her up against the wall, almost painfully so. He kissed her hard, then drew back, his gaze piercing.
"I have no problem with hard, fast and spur of the moment – just not on the front doorstep, ok?" And before she could respond, Mac reached out, pushed her back against the wall of the hallway and, cupping her ass in both of his hands, lifted her off the floor and pressed his pelvis hard against her.
Her gasp of surprise quickly turned into a deep moan as he adjusted her body slightly, her warmth caressing the tip of his hard-on, and plunged into her.
Unsure of where to put her hands, her right arm flailed outwards against the wall, knocking several items off the small corner table next to them. Her left hand found refuge at the back of Mac's neck, urging him closer. She arched her back and neck, gasping as he began thrusting into her, building the pace quickly.
Mac was panting hard, whether from the effort of holding her up, the pounding rhythm he was maintaining or the sheer excitement of the whole situation. Jo was lost in the overwhelming sensations flooding through her body when suddenly she heard his voice speaking her name.
"Jo," Mac barely managed to form the words. "Brace your feet on the wall behind me."
She complied, allowing Mac to tilt her hips back slightly, opening her up further which in turn allowed him to slip deeper inside her. She moaned uncontrollably as the familiar sensation of warmth and pressure began to well up from her core.
His pelvis slapped deliciously against her entrance each time he plunged into her and she could feel the familiar pressure building out of control within her. Her body trembled in imminent release and her nails dug into Mac's shoulder as she gripped him ever harder.
Suddenly one of his hands slipped under her bottom and she slid ever so slightly down the wall, gasping in surprise. Mac, assuming she'd been hurt, stopped thrusting and moved to pull out. She clamped her legs hard around his waist. "Oh God, no, Mac Taylor, don't you dare stop now." She'd been so close. She ground her body against his, trying to regain the feeling.
He leaned into her, panting. "I thought you got hurt." He managed to spit out.
"Jesus, I'm fine . . . just . . . don't stop." And she braced her hands, forearms and elbows on the wall behind her, her feet still jammed into the opposing wall, so that she could thrust her pelvis even harder into him.
His breath seethed as he felt her body pressing into his, her muscles gripping around him and he began driving into her again.
Having been so close before, Jo could feel the pressure mounting again, reaching it's peak until it erupted inside her and flooded her body. She thrust her head back, her eyes closed, her mouth open, poised to scream out his name.
Mac covered her mouth with a kiss, swallowing her cries. He felt her body begin to go limp from her release and he hurriedly drove into her once, twice and finally a third time before his own orgasm exploded through his body, grunting uncontrollably as each wave coursed through him.
Mac could feel his strength waning quickly and he knelt slowly, gently lowering Jo to the floor until she was sitting in his lap. They stayed like that for several minutes, their breathing slowly evening out, their foreheads pressed together,
Finally, Jo shifted to allow Mac to remove the condom. She handed him a tissue from the box lying next to her leg, one of the items she'd knocked from the table earlier.
She sighed loudly. "So was that make-up sex? Because if it was, then the rumors must be true."
Mac grinned slyly. "It wasn't make-up sex. It was me trying to show you that I accept our relationship 100%. No turning back, no cold feet, no self doubt." He leaned in to give her a series of brief kisses on her forehead, her nose and finally her mouth. "Doesn't mean we need to announce it to the world right away. We'll tell the team and your kids whenever the time feels right, but from now on, we only move forward." He kissed her again.
The only response she could manage was a low moan.
-/-/-/-/-
Jo nuzzled her cheek against Mac's chest, blowing gently across one of his nipples and sending a small cloud of bubbles floating over the edge of the tub and onto the floor.
Mac took a drink of his coffee, his other arm wrapped around Jo's shoulders, his fingers lazily tracing some unknown design on the upper half of her breast. "I can see why your parents were inseparable – if your mom made your dad one of these every night, he probably couldn't have gotten up to leave had he wanted to."
She splashed him, sending another array of bubbles floating in every direction. "The secret's the brown sugar – balances out the bitterness of the coffee and the spicy burn of the Southern Comfort."
She lay her head against his shoulder as she reached over for the ice cream container nestled in the soap dish at the corner of the tub. She took a large bite and glanced up at Mac.
"So, where did you have sex outside?"
He coughed slightly. "Jo. I said it was a long time ago."
"Come on I'm just curious. Besides, I wanna know everything about you Mac Taylor. And I know it won't be easy. I understand you're a very private person; you keep everything locked up inside that head of yours." She looked up at him. "But I hope that someday you trust me enough to start to share some of it." She sat up a moment, reaching over him to set down the ice cream container on the floor.
Mac did the same with his drink. "It's not an issue of trust Jo. I trust you with my life already. It's an issue of . . . letting go - of the past, of ones fears, of one's self doubt and opening yourself up to new things. I'll do my best. I promise."
She caressed his arm languidly. "Well, all right. I suppose that'll have to do for now. But if you're not forthcoming, I may have to resort to some of the interrogation tactics I learned at the Bureau.
"I'll have you know I'm pretty resistant. The Marine Corps trains you in counter-interrogation techniques."
"Ah, but Mac, no one can resist me". She shifted slightly and he felt her hand slowly trailing up his inner thigh. "Not even a trained Marine."
His breath hitched as her finger grazed over a particularly sensitive part. "Mmmmm, you just might be right."
A/N: One more chapter to go – no I haven't forgotten about the jewelry box. And rest assured, neither has Mac ;)