[A/N uh..]

Part 19.

"He left.. with your shield?" Natasha shouted, her face twisted with anger. "You let him take your shield? Steve Rogers, that is the stupidest thing anyone has done for quite a while. And that includes Tony getting himself kidnapped twice in 2 years."

"Tony was in danger." I mumbled, hanging my head in shame.

"Steve you do see what he is doing here, right? He is using you two as his own personal puppets. You shouldn't have fell for it!"

"And what, let him hurt Tony in return?"

"Do you really think that making this stupid deal with him will keep him from hurting Tony? Who knows what he is doing with Tony, this is not helping!"

Fury came in then, dropping a stack of papers on the table. We were in one of the conference rooms again, and Natasha and I had been shouting to and fro for quite some time.

"Will you two shut up and work like a team, instead of against each other?" Fury bellowed, staring us down and even Natasha was making big puppy dog eyes because he was so intimidating. "He might not be helping, Romanov, but at least he's trying. You are just scolding others because they're useless, while you yourself are doing nothing." That was quite harsh, because it was Natasha who had managed to get into JARVIS' system, but I think Tony's absence and our lack of control on the situation was starting to nag at him, too. "Thor," he turned to the brother of the adopted demi-God. "I think we have determined that Loki has indeed kidnapped Tony Stark and possesses the weapons he needs in order to take over the Earth. What is his strategy?"

"Judging from what we've heard and encountered, he is trying to weaken our team through black mail, so that by the time he needs something from us, he can take it without risking us fighting him." Thor said, for the first time in weeks looking serious, and actually proving that he wasn't just a heap of brainless muscle.

"Why doesn't he use this infinity gauntlet for it?" Fury asked.

"I have a theory about that." I jumped in, "I think there is something that we know and not something that we have. That means that he can't just kill us, he will have to get it out of us. With our weapons still with us, it will be too hard for him to keep control over us. He could use the gauntlet, but i don't think he knows the full power of the glove just yet. It would mean risking our death, which would result into the loss of the information." Fury nodded,

"What hint were you given about Tony's whereabouts?" he asked me. I reached into my pocket to retrieve a piece op paper.

"I wrote down exactly what he said. I can't work out what it means." I handed him the paper, which read, 'Mad Star Me', three words awfully fitting to describe Loki. I had no idea what it meant, though.

"What if he's just tricking us? For all we know he could be giving us fake hints." Natasha commented, looking at the scrap of paper sceptically.

"No," Thor supplied, "he is playing a game with us. While he tries to slowly break us apart, we have to try to find Tony before he succeeds. He gives us hints in return for our weaponry. Soon enough, he'll have me hand in my hammer, Clint will be an archer without a bow and God knows what he'll do to Bruce and Natasha."

"This," Fury gestured around, meaning he meant this whole situation, "is just a game?" he growled.

"Well , I suppose that if you are a God and rightful heir of the throne of two planets, games are played on a larger scale." I mumbled, allowing my head to fall onto my arms.

I was so tired. Not physically, because there isn't much that could tire my body, but I was emotionally drained. I was missing Tony so badly, and after hearing what Natasha had said, I was mighty afraid of what could be happening to Tony. I was so worried, that I couldn't keep my shoulders upright, as if a permanent weight made out of worry was keeping them down.

If I was feeling like this, I couldn't imagine how Pepper must be feeling. Fighting in the Avengers together, saving each other's lives and the relationship Tony and I had been forming had of course created a bond between us. But Pepper had stood by his side for years, and I wasn't going to pretend that what I had with Tony was more than Pepper had with Tony. What if nobody had told her what was going on? Why would anyone have thought of her? With new motivation and purpose, I reached for my Stark cell phone, dialling Pepper.

"Pepper, here." She said, sounding quite cheerful and I hated to be the one to break that peaceful state of mind. I almost chickened out because I didn't want her to feel bad. But she would probably be feeling way worse finding out later, anyhow.

"Hey Pepper, Steve here." I said uncertainly, wondering if she even considered me a friend or not.

"Steve!" Her voice softened, "Everything alright?" She sounded so caring, and I already felt guilty.

"No." I said, and paused for a while, feeling the tears prickling in my eyes, "Something has happened to Tony." I said, and the reality hit me so suddenly and with such force that I couldn't hold back the partly choked sob that welled up.

"I'll be on my way." She mumbled, and hung up.

The whole time that Pepper wasn't there yet, I spent sitting on my bed and trying not to pull my hair out. I was shaking by the time she walked into my room, and she threw off her heels as she sat beside me.

"These God-damn –" She clasped her hand around her mouth when she saw me glaring at her for scolding with God, "sorry, these damned things hurt like Hell." She turned to face me and took in my red, tired eyes, my hunched shoulders and my clenched fists. "OK, you need to calm down. It's OK to cry." She added, taking my hands and pulling me from my bed with a surprising amount of force. "Come on, hot choco, ice-cream and bad romance movies. Chop chop." She said when I just looked at her incredulously.

"You think that'll help?" I asked uncertainly.

"I'm sure it will. What about sobbing over the Titanic? That way you can pretend you aren't crying over Tony's kidnapping, and merely very into the movie." She winked, and I couldn't help but give her a little smile in return as she pulled me towards the kitchen to fetch us our ice-cream and hot choco. I was temporarily confused why she knew about Tony's kidnapping, before deciding that indeed, Natasha, Bruce, Thor and Clint (who wasn't 'Barton' anymore, because I had decided he was pretty awesome even with his sometimes bad manners) had saved me from the horror of explaining everything again.

It was nice that they'd thought about my feelings, that they had considered me too and that they felt like I was a part of their group. And then there was Pepper, who was trying her hardest to help me, and there shouldn't have been a better feeling than having the feeling of being cared about by these people, except that I knew there was.

Because they cared for a lot of people, and it was regular for them. Tony Stark, however, wasn't as easy with caring for people. And yet, he had chosen to care for me. And I missed that feeling so much, that despite all the people trying to make me feel better, I still felt so incredibly alone.

Suddenly, coming out of an ice-berg with everyone you knew being death wasn't considered lonely anymore after experiencing this feeling of sorrow and loss, and I felt so, utterly, incredibly pathetic.

[A/N awe… the feels!]