[A/N Guys! The rating changed to M! *whistles* Don't worry, I'm not the kind to write 'and I moaned when he rubbed here and there'-stuff. I think that's over-used and stupid, sorry if I'm offending anyone :c I'm doing it my own way xD This was one of those chapters I had to write 5 times before it was OK]

Part 28

TONY POV

My wounds had healed, and my back had stopped hurting. I could even lay on my back and wiggle without receiving an unwelcome amount of pain. So Fury's nurses thought it was time I was transferred to a normal (as far as normal goes at S.H.I.E.L.D.) room in normal clothes. I was spread out on my king-size bed, enjoying smelling something that was not hospital.

I crooked an eye open, hearing the creaking sound of a door being opened. It was late at night, but I hadn't been able to sleep. Not with the pained look Steve had given me and the knowledge that I'd hurt him.

"Speaking of the devil" I murmured when I saw a mop of golden hair peak into my range of view.

"What, who was talking about me?" Steve asked, walking up to me, and I face-palmed.

"You weren't supposed to hear that. Stupid serum." But then again, where would that ass be if not for the serum? I added mentally, not voicing it, afraid that I'd scare him away like Loki told me I would. Steve frowned at me, as If he could see the words laying on my tongue. He sat down beside me, and despite not really being a people-person, I could read the determination on his face.

"I want us to be 'us' again. Please Tony, let me in, tell me what he did to you." At any other time, I would have made a witty comment about letting Steve 'in', but I bit my tongue.

"It's nothing he did. I've been tortured before, you know." I said instead, averting my gaze from his piercing blue eyes.

"Yes, Pepper told me how well you recovered from that." Steve rolled his eyes. I ignored what he'd said, not knowing how to answer, afraid that a list of profanities towards Pepper might come tumbling out. I didn't even ask why Steve and Pepper were even talking, because of course he would have called her to know how to handle a sulky Tony.

"You wouldn't understand anyway." I mumbled. Steve slammed his fist on my bedside table and I jumped, almost throwing the glass of water I'd been holding over myself.

"Why do you always act so helplessly misunderstood?" He half-shouted. "I'm trying to help you, to make you feel better." He paused for a while, hanging his head, "To get you back."

"What, you are trying to get me back?" I shouted back, "You've had me Steve, always. It's never been you trying to get me, Steve, no. I feel so stupid for not realizing that before, for having to hear it from Loki before I understood. It has always been me trying to get you. And now I realize why. There is no reason for you to like me. None at all. I'm a disrespecting, permanently drunk, scarred asshole. What is there to like about me? Looks? Money? Those are qualities somebody with your reputation and name could get anywhere. Not to speak of your own incredible body."

"That's what Loki told you, is it." Steve looked at me incredulously, making me scoot over so that he could sit down next to me. "He kept telling you that there was no way for someone like me to ever fall in love with someone like you until you believed it, didn't he? Tony.." My name fell from his lips like it was something breakable, something he handled with care, "Let me tell you just what I love about you…

I love how sassy you are, I adore your witty comments that could cheer anyone up in any situation. I can't get enough time staring at you while you work in your workshop, passion so evident in everything you do. The way you are prepared to offer yourself up any time, the way you are prepared to be patient with me despite all my flaws. Tony.." He swiped away a tear that I was scolding for running down my cheek without permission, "There is nothing, no one in this world that I could possibly love more than you."

"I'm scarred, I'm ugly I-" I said uncertainly, thinking of everything Loki had said, the arguments that had seemed so valid.

"Let me prove it to you. Let me love you" He whispered, lips hovering over mine. He paused, waiting for permission, and I had a small moment of triumph that the roles were reversed for once. I turned his words over in my head again and again, urging them to make sense, to make myself believe them. What was there to lose, really? I leaned up, pressing my lips against his and cursing every single tear (even I didn't know enough profanities to curse them all) that dared to escape.

"Let me prove it to you" Steve repeated, his body hovering over mine as his fingers were hesitantly waiting for permission to lift my shirt up. I nodded, capturing his lips in another kiss as he started undressing me. We needed connection. We needed proof because this relationship had been so unrealistic to start with.

Never had I thought that I could receive so much pleasure through such a primitive action, nor through giving myself up to a man. Nevertheless I closed my eyes, trying to lose the weird and unsettling feeling this new form of intercourse brought and concentrating purely on the connection between Steve and me, his wonderful grunts of enjoyment and the knowledge that I was the only one to ever see him in this state of pure and shameless ecstasy.

There was sweat forming on my brow, partly from the exertion it took, getting rocked into the mattress and clinging onto my lover´s muscled shoulders, and partly from the small but quite prominent amount of pain Steve was causing me. He could see the discomfort on my face, so he carefully lifted my legs from where I had positioned them on the bed to wrap them around his waist.

"Better?" He asked, slowing his thrusts and watching me closely. I nodded, pulling him down by his neck to kiss him, distracting myself from the burning sensation every movement was causing me. Steve was gazing at my face intently, searching it for the emotions it was holding.

"Are you OK?" He panted out between the needy outlets of air. I just gave him a sort of acknowledging sound , afraid that whatever might come out of my mouth instead would be a grunt or scream of pain, which Steve might interpret as a cue to stop, while all I wanted was this connection to last, the pain to subside and the pleasure to remain. Slowly but surely, I was getting used to the feeling until finally, the pain that had seemed so bad before, had now gone back to being a little nagging feeling that could easily be ignored.

I think I visibly relaxed, because Steve smiled before burying his head in my neck to leave hot puffs of air behind every time he exhaled. Being taken was a whole new sort of intimacy that I had never considered before, but now that I knew the intensity of it, I also knew it was an experience worth repeating. I threw my head back against the pillow, grabbing fistfuls of it in a futile attempt to contain a moan.

"Oh dear- Jesus Fuck" I rambled, holding onto him as his movements became more erratic, his touches less coordinated. I held onto his torso, afraid that if I didn't, I would lose myself completely in the overwhelming amount of feelings I was being exposed to. With unpractised techniques, he slowly drove us into completion, until we were both in a state of bliss that nothing previously experienced could match up to.

With a soft groan, Steve fell onto the bed next to me.

"Oh my God." He said, hand roaming over the surface until it found mine. I mumbled my agreement, stretching out my limbs and feeling all the places on which Steve had pressed a little too hard and maybe forgotten that I was a feeble human, and of course my backside which had an unpleasant ache in it. There were blue finger-formed bruises on my hips and my ankle from where he'd grabbed me, a bite-mark on my neck from where he'd marked me.

"That doesn't look too good." I said with a smile when I got my breath back. Steve rolled onto his side, facing me, and his eyes roamed over my sweaty limbs uncertainly. He tentatively reached out and brushed his fingertips over the sore spots.

"I hurt you." He concluded, sitting up to grab the blanket from where it was laying discarded at our feet. He skilfully threw the blanket over us, then proceeded to drape and arm over me and pull me into his chest. I winced, every movement causing my backside to sting uncomfortably. "I'm so, so sorry, Tony. I- I didn't do it properly did I? I'm such a failure. It'll be better next time I promise. If there is a next time I- I mean I don't mean that you have t-" he rambled on and I shushed him, putting my index finger against his lips.

"Steve. Shush. It was inevitable. Are you afraid I didn't enjoy myself? Trust me, that's the least of your worries. I think the only thing you should be worried about is the damage you did to my ego. I thought I was good in bed… but for a rookie, you were pretty damn amazing." Steve looked dubious, so I added, "Yes, it hurt. It's supposed to. But I just had one of the most amazing nights of my life, whether you believe it or not."

"One of the?" Steve countered playfully.

"Now don't get too sassy, you're stealing my good traits." We were going for the 'romantic drifting off to sleep in each other's arms'-thing you always see in movies, but after a few minutes I realized that wasn't going to happen. "OK, let's take a shower, I can still feel shit leaking out of my ass."

"God, thought you'd never ask." Steve answered, following my limping self into the bathroom.

[A/N ;_; emotions.]