This fic may seem a bit unrealistic to some of you because you think Marias issues are a bit too severe. I took it upon myself to do some research about the long-term consequences of childhood abuse and neglect.

Phsychological consequences:
isolation, fear, and an inability to trust can translate into lifelong consequences, including low self-esteem, depression, and relationship difficulties, antisocial traits

Behavioral consequences:
abuse alcohol, or take illicit drugs, violence

When she finally arrived at Steves place she was half crazy. Everywhere on the streets she saw her father chasing after her with a alcoholic beverage in his hand ready to smash it onto her head- it wasn't like he hadnt done it before. All those memories were tormenting Maria and she couldn't seem to shake them off, it was like a movie playing in her head over and over again- laughing at her pain. Normally when she was awake she managed to subdue the memories, but as soon as she turned off her nightlight she wasn't in control anymore, her subconcious took over and brought pictures into her head, which she just wanted to forget. Ever so often she would wake up in the middle of the night, beads of sweat adorning her forehead. In the last couple of years even Marias subconscious learned to deal with her past and Maria was able to sleep without nightmares. But now that her father had passed the memories came flooding back and Maria could do nothing about it, she was drowning in them. It was like life's cruel joke.

She rang Steves doorbell and he quickly answered the door. Maria pushed past him into his apartment and planted herself onto the couch. She looked absolutely horrified and in panic. Steve had never seen her like this. She was usually always composed and calm, but now she was nervous and upset about something.

"What happened?" Steve asked awkwardly. "Nothing" Maria tried to sound cool.

"Maria you don't have to play the cool person now. You have to learn to open up to people, that's the only way you can survive in this world. You will feel so much better once you have all that frustration and rage out of you." "What are you saying" Maria raised an eyebrow having no idea what Steve was playing at. "Maria tell me everything, shout at me and cry and…" "I don't cry" Maria growled, "Crying is not my thing" Steve snickered "Once you have everything out of you, you will feel much better." Maria was very hesistant. She was entering a dangerous territory. Once inside there was no going back. Maria smiled at the irony, she could handle violence and war but she couldn't handle sharing her feelings, coming out of her shell, breaking down her walls.

Maria inhaled deeply, ready to talk "I umm… My father emmm… We… hmmm… When I was a… little girl, my father abused me. He hit me and I ended up in the hospital quite often… I felt helpless and defenseless… alone, rejected… vulnerable. My father left marks on me physical and emotional ones. I'm letting him rule my life, he's everywhere, when I'm awake I can still beat him but once sleep takes over he torments me in my sleep and it's my childhood all over again. I always wanted to get closure, but now that hes dead I will never be able to get that. Now I have to live with him the rest of my life. It pisses me off that I had the chance to get rid of him but I was scared, okay, scared… I am just too fucking afraid, too afraid to face him… Steve this is not helping!" she screamed at him, "No one can help me. Everybody just let me down. I even prayed when I was younger. I always prayed that god would turn me into a bird and I would fly far far away from him (Forrest Gump much?). I tried getting help but no one believed me. I learned I can trust no one and that in this fucking world everybody just cares about themselves, nobody gives a crap about others" Maria was trembling.

"Are you sure nothing can help?" Steve tilted Marias chin and forced her to look at him. Maria gulped and nodded. Steve pressed his lips onto hers in a soft kiss. "Does that help." Maria nodded "A little" "Didn't you have friends, who helped you through?" "I only had one friend. One friend I could always rely on, one friend who was always there for. Alcohol. It helped me through my whole life."

"You didn't have any friends?" Steve asked looking at her with pity. "I wasn't axcatly the most socialble person. I pushed everyone away" "Didn't you have a way of handling bad situations. Everybody has a way: some eat, some cut themselved, some isolate themselves, some hide it behind irony, what did you do besisdes drink alcohol?" Maria looked like she was deep in thought, "I used to watch movies and pretend to be the girl who gets swept off her feet. I would sit infront of the TV and wish for a guy to come and bring me far away from home"

Steve smiled "Lets watch a movie, you choose?" "What do you have?" "Everything, I have apple TV" Maria jumped up and grabbed the remote control. Maria chose a playlist of movies and was planning to start with 'Say anything'. Steve motioned for her lift her feet. She lifted them long enough for him to sit and then rested them on his thigh. A little smile made its way onto Marias face. This was the Maria Steve knew, the Maria who could openly show emotion and be easygoing.

"Isn't it a teen movie?" he asked, adjusting her feet on his.

"Are you saying that I am too old to watch it?" She smirked to herself, knowing that Steve wouldn't dare to take the conversation in that direction.

"Yeah, I am not getting into that," he shook his head, chuckling.

"Yeah, it is, but I used to have this huge crush on John Cusack. So I thought, why not? Besides it's still a great movie." She smiled up at him.

He returned her smile and then noticed the other movies on the playlist. "Why do all these movies have a innate appeal to woman?"

"They are called chick flicks now a days" Maria said.

She clicked on 'Say anything' and it started to play.

They had reached the end of the movie.

"They're going to kiss now" Steve said. "What?" Maria laughed. "I can tell when two people are about to kiss" "Oh ok, I mean it must be so hard. I mean besides the romantic music and their lips nearing each other there are no indicators what so ever that would make you think their about to kiss." she said ironically, " Even I can tell!" She looked at him challengingly, her competitive spirit kicking in.

"I know you can do anything and everything, Maria," he ruffled her hair fondly, "but you can probably tell only when you've seen the movie before. While I, on the other hand, can tell even without having seen it before. I would like to think that that's something special."

She looked at him incredulously, "Keep telling yourself that." When they looked back onto the screen the credits had already rolled in.

She shook her head, "And thanks to you, I've missed the last scene." She clicked on "The notebook" to be played next.

"Aren't you gonna watch the end again?" he asked, reclining his body along the length of the sofa and moving farther up against its back so that she could fit in too.

"Nah… I've seen it a hundred times before." She smiled, returning to the couch as she lay down next to him, nudging him to move further back, fitting herself close to his body.

"So what are we watching now?" He draped his left hand loosely over her waist, slightly pulling her in towards him, while the right supported his head.

"The Notebook."

"Because you used to have a huge crush on Ryan Gosling?" he asked, as the title sequence began.

Her lips twitched slightly. "that too, but mostly because its fun and I don't know… I guess it's more relatable and real than many other movies."

"Hmmm…" He didn't know about the 'real and relatable' part, but there was nothing that could possibly be better than watching a movie with Maria. There was something about the way she got engrossed in the whole movie and the way she tried to hide the effect the movies had on her, that he found endearing.

"They're about to kiss" and indeed Noah and Ally crushed their lips against each other.

Maria smiled. She hooked her arms around his neck and pulled him closer to her. He leaned in, their lips centimeters apart. "Can you still tell when two people are gonna kiss?" He nodded before he lowered his lips onto hers. She and attacked his lips with a ferocious and sensual kiss. Steve felt that this wasn't one of their usual make-outs, this meant something. Maria brought her lips to his neck, kissing, biting, and sucking each section of skin that she touched. Her hands continued to travel his chest arms and back, dragging her nails along the contours of his muscular form. She made quick work of Steves shirt as he lifted her her up, her legs wrapping around his waist, and carried her to the bedroom.

The next morning Steve awoke with a content smile on his face. He rolled over on his side wanting to embrace Maria in a hug. His arms met emtyness. He opened his eyes, surveying the bed, she was gone. Steve shot out of bed and made his way to the kitchen. Maybe she was making coffee or something. His smile got replaced by a scowl when he realized that her clothes were gone too. Maria was gone.

Steve showered, did his morning routine and got dressed. He went to SHIELD HQ. Maria was already there she made sure she was never alone and as far away from Steve as possible. Steve frown got even more unfriendly.

"what bit you in the ass today?" Tony smirked and Steve threw him a menacing glare. "Girlfriend problems?" Tony teased. Steve growled and ignored Tony for the rest of the day.

The day went by with nothing spezial except Steve trying to get Maria alone to confront her, but Maria made sure that at all times somebody was with her and when Steve made his way towards her she quickly spun on her heel and started talking to some agents. Everyone was very suprised, normally Maria avoided contact with other human beings like the plague and today she was communicating with them on her own free will. Steve tried everything to get her alone, at one point he even considered sending her flowers froma secret admirer to meet him on the roof, but Steve knew there was a higher possibility of her killing him than them talking. He almost had her cornered when some blonde agent made her way to him and started talking to him, getting all hair-twirly and eyelash battery. Steve felt very uncomfortable as the blond agent was undressing him with her eyes. She was talking about some case when Steves gaze drifted to Maria, his almost smiled triumphantly when he noticed that she was green from jelousy. This was his chance "Agent Hill" he shouted Maria shot up embarrassed of being caught staring at them, "I have something very urgent. Could you please help me" Before she could answer Steve dragged her away, leaving the blonde agent alone.

"Just so you know I prefer brunettes and green is not a good colour on you" he smirked. "What?" Maria looked down onto the ground. "You know green of jelousy…" "I am not. For all I care you can go and have children with that whore" "As I said, I prefer brunettes, always have, always will" He pulled Maria into a room and the atmosphere changed "Why did you leave this morning?" "last time I was gone before you woke too" Maria said matter of factly. "But this was different and you know that" "How different?" Maria played dumb. "This time feelings were involved, you felt it, I felt it." "I didn't feel anything"

Steve sighed deeply and looked at Maria softly "I love you Maria". Marias eyes widened, no this couldn't be possible. She knew somewhere in her heart she loved him too but she wasn't ready to admit that yet. She had vowed to herself to never let anyone in and by letting Steve in she was going to loose to herself. She knew she had already let Steve in but she just couldn't admit that to herself. The thought of having let somebody break down her walls scared her. Maria realized she could trust him, but she just couldn't, she didn't know why but she couldn't trust anyone, not even if she wanted to. Since the day she asked her father if Jerred could come for dinner she had had relationship problems and an incredibly low self-esteem when in romantic situations. She didn't deserve a guy like Steve. Steve deserved a pretty, not messed up girl without daddy issues. "Maria," Steve said softly, "I love you because your smart, funny, determined, strong and gorgeous." Marias eyes turned cold "Steve I…"

"I know this is probably important and I hate to disturb" Tony popped his head in all suited up, "we have a situation. Just the usual, aliens trying to destroy the world. We can handle it, but would really appreciate your input" Then Tony quickly left. Steve looked at Maria, he could hear gunfire and the sound of buildings collapsing in the background. People were screaming and children were crying, but Steve blocked all that out as he watched Maria leave with the words "Too bad, unrequited love sucks". Frustrated Steve quickly suited up and started killing the aliens in the most sadistic way possible. It felt good, too feel like he was in complete power, too feel strong, he had all that inner anger to let out. He tried to concentrate on only killing the aliens but every once in a while his gaze would drift towards Maria. He may sound like an old pervert now but he loved to watch her move in that tight catsuit of hers. Normally his morals forbid him to stare at a woman with lust but with Maria he couldn't stop himself. She was so beautiful and headstrong. He loved how the catsuit hugged her curves.

Maria was surrounded by a group of aliens. She turned, lashed out, felt her fist connect with muscled flesh and heard a soft "Oomph". She shifted position and her feet crossed, left in front of right. She spun on her left foot, the right coming up and out, catching her opponents squarely in the jaw. She punched. She ducked. She kicked. She twisted.

She staggered. She swung a roundhouse punch.

The rest she finished of with her gun. Steve admired how focused she was. She leapt behind a car only her head and gun peeking out over the hood. Not able to tear the gaze of her Steve suddenly noticed something. He quickly killed the aliens. Maria was so concentrated on the aliens infront of her, she didn't one of them slowly creeping towards her from behind, aiming a lethal weapon at her. With out another thought Steve threw himself at her, pressing her back to the ground, his body fully covering hers, just as the alien pushed the trigger. He placed himself like a blanket over Maria and took the blow. He rolled off Maria and could feel warm blood coming out of his abdomen. His vision got blurry but he could still see Marias beautiful face with absolute clarity. He frowned at the worry in her face "I'll be fine" he whispered. "Why did you do that, that blow was meant for me" "Because I love you" Maria bit her lip still not willing to give up the battle, he threw himself into a death-trap to safe her and she couldn't tell him she loved him. "You don't have to say it back. I know your not ready. I just wanted to let you know how I feel" he whispered weakly. "Why?" she asked, "Why me. What makes me so special?" "Because when you look at me you see Steve Rogers and not Captain America." She looked at him, her eyes shining because a layer of wetness covered them, enough to make her look like on the brink of tears, not enough for her to cry. She brought her lips to his. That was Steves last memory before he drifted off into the state of uncounsciousness.

What will happen! Muahahaha review ad find out ma bitches!

LOve ya all!