When her name was called, Rachel Berry's body went into automatic, a routine she had been preparing for her entire life. Keep smiling. Stand up. Hug and kiss (husband/boyfriend/date). Don't stumble getting to the aisle. Don't trip on the stairs. Try and avoid a wardrobe malfunction. Don't rip the Tony from the presenter's hands. Give acceptance speech. Ignore time limit (what are they going to do, pull you off with a hook?).
It didn't go quite as she had envisioned. Tom, of course, was fine. He hugged her, as did his new girlfriend, Emily. Kurt, Rachel's date, however, was crying and for a few seconds just wouldn't let her go. He even managed to get a few tears on the dress he designed for her, a form-fitting, ivory silk, off-the-shoulder stunner ("Now that's one Berry good enough to eat!", Santana had remarked earlier, as she was getting ready). However, he eventually let her go, and she moved towards the aisle, to the overwhelming affirmation of applause.
It was perhaps her earliest memory, only a flash, barely there. Warm, bright sunshine, safe and giggling in her Daddy's arms on the soft grass, trying to imitate him singing to her. Her dads always joked about how she started singing immediately after taking her first breath; perhaps they weren't exaggerating.
Little Jemima Mortenson was throwing a tantrum in kindergarten, blonde hair flying, because "Big Nose" was chosen to lead the class show for their parents. The whole class was laughing.
She reached the end of the aisle, and carefully started down towards the steps. Kurt was a genius; the gown felt so good against her skin, yet didn't impede her walking in any way.
6th grade, and Rachel is singing the national anthem for the assembly. An egg sails out of the audience. She sees it, and deftly stands aside. It lands among the chorus amassed behind her, striking Jemima Mortenson squarely on her forehead.
She sings "Don't Rain on My Parade" at the 8th grade talent show. And again for New Directions' first sectionals. And yet again at her disastrous NYADA audition.
Rachel reached the steps. She looked up, seeing Brian Stokes Mitchell and Betty Buckley waiting to present her the award.
And, of course, she saw him, with crown and sceptre, waiting for her as well. She wondered where he was, where he had been, in the almost three years since his return from Afghanistan. Well, she told herself, ascending the steps, that was something she was determined to find out.
The applause, the acceptance, was overwhelming.
It all happened so fast, she thought.
Tom took advantage of NYADA's excellent contacts with the New York theatre world. Soon after he and Rachel had put together some of the songs, he was granted a meeting with Billie West and Jim Fineman, a producing team known for taking chances on new works. They listened to some recordings he had made and decided they liked it. They also asked more about this Rachel Berry who was singing. He told them she was a dear friend who had been involved in the development from the very beginning, and that he could not imagine anyone else performing the part of Sally. That raised a pair of eyebrows. They weren't willing to take this big a risk on someone's girlfriend, he was told in no uncertain terms. Tom was able to assuage them, saying they had been involved once, that it didn't work out, but instead had gone on to form a very good working relationship. Fortunately, West and Fineman didn't watch many rom-coms, and instead said they wanted Rachel to come and show them some songs in person.
Her audition convinced them to go ahead with the project. They were able to obtain initial funding quickly. Regular work shops were set up right away, and, by sheer luck, the Little Schubert Theater (an off-Broadway venue, even though it was located in the traditional Broadway district. A play or musical is called 'Off-Broadway' primarily due to the size of the venue, Broadway theaters being much larger) was booked for the premiere.
The pace of the work up to the premiere was frantic. At times Tom lost it, convinced that the rushing would ruin what he had in mind, but having Rachel living there helped, even though they weren't lovers anymore.
One night, after a grueling workshop, the two of them were so exhausted they were almost catatonic, yet could not sleep. They wound up falling into bed together, holding onto each other until sleep, mercifully overcame them. Each woke up surprised but refreshed, and ended up laughing about it. It wasn't awkward or heavy. It was just something the work, the blessed work, enabled the two of them to do without ruining what they had.
Rachel was overjoyed when Finn got out of the Army, but when she found out his post-military plans from Kurt, she almost fell into despair.
"What if he has given up on me?" she lamented to Kurt over coffee.
He touched her arm across the table.
"Rachel, I feel, in my bones, that the two of you are incapable of giving up on each other. It may take a long time, but I think my brother will eventually reach the point where he can rejoin his family, and be with you again. I just don't know when that will be. Nobody knows where he is, and I can understand that; Carole, bless her heart, wouldn't be able to resist rushing to him. But he faithfully sends her little emails, once a month, telling her he is okay, and feeling better every time. She hangs on those, Rachel, like a life preserver. And I promise to keep you in the loop, too."
"I miss him, Kurt. And there are times that I hate him for getting me to agree to break up. But you know what?" She paused, a serene smile suddenly appearing.
"What?"
"When I feel that way, I think back to what he told me, about letting the Universe do its thing. And the more time that goes by, and how I see things beginning to fall into place, I realize how right he was. And Kurt, the Universe isn't quite done. Because I'm not quite done. If I ever see him again I want to be able to tell him I did my part, that I justified his faith in me."
Kurt got up, and came around to hug her tightly.
"My brother was so lucky to find you," he said.
The work, as frantic and as daunting as it was, proved to be just what she needed. Every interminable rehearsal, every grueling workout, was one more step towards justifying his sacrifice for her.
The show was a smash. Within a few months, the demand was such that the show jumped to Broadway. Suddenly, it was the hottest ticket in town, and then the Tony award nominations came in. Best Musical . Best Original Score. Best Performance by a Leading Actress in a Musical. Best Choreography.
On a June evening, a month after Finn and Jane parted, Rachel Berry heard her name called.
The presenters were old Broadway pros, and handed the award to her carefully, because Rachel still seemed in shock. She stood, still smiling, but trembling.
"I wouldn't be here if not for a lot of wonderfully talented people," she began, somewhat breathless, "not all of whom I can name. If you don't hear your name, it's not because I didn't want to honor you, but because they-" she pointed backstage- "won't let me." There was a huge chuckle from the audience. She saw Neil Patrick Harris snickering in the wings.
"You know, I've had the privilege of being associated with Mount Olympus Blues from the very beginning. In fact, I remember being in college, working with my dear friend Tom Foley, late at night, when the songs were nothing but bare outlines in his head. Even then, I knew he was a visionary, and it pleases me no end that you have decided to honor that vision tonight with so many nominations." Tom sat and smiled shyly, and Rachel noticed Emily almost overwhelmed with pride for him. She was glad she had been able to introduce Tom to one of the best up-and-coming choreographers in the business.
"Of course, we'd be nowhere without the calm, guiding hands of our producers, Billie West and Jerry Fineman, whose amazing hard work got us on Broadway so quickly. Thanks for that!"
She paused, because the emotion was welling up.
"I'd also like to thank my dads, Hiram and LeRoy Berry, for raising me to believe I could achieve my dreams, and supporting me every step of the way. I love you both, so much." She waved to them in the audience. The pride on her parent's faces could not be measured. The audience's applause for them was deafening, and it warmed her heart to see them in an environment where they were recognized and admired instead of being despised.
"And to Kurt Hummel, who designed my dress, thanks for making this annoying Jewish girl look so fabulous!" Kurt looked like he was going to faint.
She had a few seconds. Time for the surprise.
"Last, but absolutely not least, there is one special person I'd like to thank. I can't tell you his name, because he is a very private man, but a long time ago, he selflessly sacrificed almost everything for me, so that I could be free to achieve my dreams. He also nearly sacrificed everything for his country as well." She held the Tony in front of her and looked directly into the camera. "If you're watching, I just want you to know, this award is for you. I have never forgotten what you did, and what it cost. I can never fully repay you; all I can do is spend the rest of my life doing what I love, because that is all you ever really wanted. Thank you for believing so completely in me." She swallowed very hard. "And one more thing. After the ceremony, I'm coming to find you, because I love you, and we should never, ever, have given up." Then she turned and hurried off the stage with the presenters, to growing applause, a standing ovation, and tabloid frenzy.