Summary: Sometimes mercy is not so easy as one might think.

Disclaimer: Aria, mine. Anybody else recognizable, not mine. Capiche?

Queen's Quornor: There's another fic I'm writing about this particular character, but it'll only be posted after I finish with the love scene. "Loss" has its final chapter written, just needs to be posted. Same with "First Love." Plus I finally managed to download the Exiled Prince, so there's a Sebastian oneshot I need to upload. Just so you know, when comparing this Aria to the other fic in which she appears, Anders has mellowed her some. She's become a soft touch when it comes to him.

Love and Mercy

Aria came awake with a start, blinking owlishly in the faint light from the moon. She lay still, wondering what had disturbed her. The fire had died in the hearth, but as there was no storm this night the warmth was not missed. The manor sounded quiet, and if somebody had broken in Boudicca would have alerted her mistress.

She felt the bed shifting, and realized what had interrupted her rest.

Carefully she rolled onto her back, thankful she had not drawn the curtains when she spotted the curved back of her lover in the faint silvery light. Anders was seated on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands. He suffered nightmares so often, it was really no surprise to find him this way.

Aria crawled over to him, laid a gentle hand against his naked shoulder. He answered with a soft gasp that was one part surprise, two parts sob. She didn't need to see his face to know there were tears in his eyes. In response she rose onto her knees beside him and drew him against her, tucking his head beneath her chin and holding him close.

His arms closed around her, desperation singing in the tightness of his grip. She pressed her lips to his hair and held him while the hot tears bathed the base of her throat and collarbone, and he was wracked wih the force of his terror.

What was it this time? she wondered. His darkspawn dreams had stopped bothering him long before he moved into her manor. Was it Ella's face again? Perhaps it was his recurring nightmare of being made Tranquil for something Justice did or prompted him to do. But no, this reaction didn't seem right for that vision; Anders usually became physically ill after suffering it.

She listened to him cry and decided it was better to let him tell her, rather than coax it out of him. Comfort was more vital than confrontation here.

After a time his sobs slowed and his trembling eased, although he still held her in a death-grip. Aria stroked her fingers through his hair and down his back, soothing him while he collected his thoughts. At last his voice rasped against her chest. "Why?"

"You'll need to be more specific, love," she murmured.

"Why did you pick me, Aria? How can you love someone like me, knowing what I am?"

She sighed and pressed her cheek to his hair, thinking how to pharse an answer he already knew. "I don't think I could love anybody else, Anders. Maker knows I tried, back in Lothering, but it never felt right and the whole mage thing always got in the way. Since meeting you, I can't imagine being with anybody else. I love you, plain and simple."

"You deserve somebody better than me," he choked. "You should share your life with someone worthy of you, not a possessed apostate who can barely control himself most days. What if I hurt you? What if something happens to you because of me?"

"I know you won't hurt me," she assured him.

Anders heaved another sob and moved his his head to her shoulder, burying his face in the side of her neck. "I saw you, Aria. The templars took you. They beat you, hurt you..." He shuddered and clutched her to him. "They broke you. I could see you looking at me while they held you down and forced you, did things to you. Your eyes were completely blank, as if you were Tranquil. But I saw your mouth moving, telling me 'you did this to me. It's your fault, Anders, all your fault'. And it was, Aria. You were there because of something I did."

So that was it. His nightmare had been of her. Aria ignored the unease roiling in the pit of her stomach and focused on her lover, who had resumed crying. "That isn't going to happen, Anders. Even if the templars did manage to take me, I wouldn't blame you. And they aren't going to take me. Cullen would never be able to live with himself if I was forced into the Gallows."

"But if I lose control - "

"You won't," she interrupted. "You're a fighter, love. If anybody can control a spirit like Justice, it's you."

He was silent, tense despite her efforts at comforting him. "How can you have such faith in me?" he finally asked, his voice pleading. "I almost killed that girl. I could turn on you someday, and not stop in time. I couldn't live with myself if that happened, Aria."

She kissed him softly on the cheek and guided him down, sitting against the headboard and arranging him so his head was pillowed against her breasts. "I trust you because you stopped yourself," she explained. "What you almost did isn't important. All that matters is what you did do, and you didn't kill Ella. You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for, Anders. That's why I know you'll never turn on me. You'll never let Justice hurt me."

"I wish I had your optimism," he mumbled into her left breast.

Aria combed her fingers through his hair again. "Then I'll be optimistic for us both. Sleep, love. I'll guard your dreams now."

Anders settled into a more mutually comfortable position, using her stomach as his pillow. As he drifted off, Aria reflected on their conversation.

She had not lied when she expressed the depths of her love and trust. Anders would never allow his violent compatriot to harm her, not just because she was a fellow mage. But that only applied while he was awake, as she had discovered some weeks ago.

Justice had confronted her once, shortly after Anders moved in with her. Aria had woken thanks to the light pressure of a hand clamped around her throat, and opened her eyes to find those of the Fade spirit glaring down at her. He had asked her what she intended now that Anders had laid aside their cause. She had told him that she wanted to give him some of the normalcy he wanted for all mages, the love and peace he craved. She also wanted justice for her fellow spellcasters, but not if it continued tearing her lover apart. Evidently her reply had satisfied Justice, because the threatening hand had been removed and the shared body laid down, the eyes closing as Anders' sleeping mind was given back control.

She had never told Anders about the confrontation. He had enough fears as it was.

Aria did not know if her lover could retain control over the spirit, although she suspected it was within his capabilities. But so long as he was still in evidence, even if it was the merest scrap of him, she would stand by his side.

But if Justice should ever swallow him in full, leaving no trace of the man she loved...

Aria looked at her hand and let cool blue fire flare at her fingertips, stream down her digits to collect in her palm. With a glance at Anders' serene countenance, she dismissed the magic and leaned her head back, closing her eyes.

It was the final kindness she could offer, if all hope was ever lost.