They lay quietly together afterwards, peacefully entwined. It had been sweet, yes, how could it not? But it was also different; they hadn't fallen back into their old patterns. Instead, each brought their other experiences to the table and the result was exciting and new.
Contrary to popular belief, their sexual experience with each other had been relatively limited. The Glee Club, of course, assumed that Rachel Berry Unleashed was some kind of formidable, insatiable, sexual force, sweeping everything before it; she was like that with everything else in her life, after all. Santana used to remark how the two of them acted like cats in heat. True, they may have been very affectionate with each other in public, but, in reality, any sex in which they did engage had to be scheduled around parental absences and high school in general, over a period of only around seven months.
There still had been an innocence to them as well, Rachel thought, curled up, with Finn spooned behind her. Their inexperience, plus the pressure cooker that had been their lives in high school, heightened the intensity of everything. It seemed so different now: calmer, quiet. More private. She felt his heart beating, his breathing, one hand cupping her breast, but this time there was nothing she had to do next, no item on a list to check off, nobody's schedule or expectations to accommodate. For the first time in her life, Rachel had Finn completely to herself. It felt like the honeymoon they never had. It was the first gift of their reunion.
There was something, however, that she had to talk about.
"Finn?" She wanted to make sure he was awake.
"Yes?"
"I met Jane."
"I figured as much," Finn said. He sounded calm, relaxed, not tense at all.
"I liked her."
"I'm glad, " he said, and pulled her closer. "She is a very cool person."
Rachel rolled over to face him.
"She told me how she helped you handle your nightmares."
He looked her directly. No awkwardness, nor any trying to second-guess what she was thinking. Another gift of their reunion.
"Rachel, I will tell you anything you need to know."
"Do you think I can help you if you have a nightmare? I was wondering if I was physically strong enough to stop the thrashing." She looked truly worried.
He smiled, reached out, and gently touched her cheek.
"I've felt enough patented Rachel Berry hugs to know you have nothing to worry about. A five-ten Mountie hasn't got anything on them."
She adored him.
"Anything else you need to know?" He raised his eyebrows in encouragement.
She shook her head, smiling.
"No, I'm good." And she was. "Is there anything you need to know?"
Feigned innocence.
"Nope. Nothing."
He received a very suspicious look. Finn chuckled.
"Okay, okay. Look, while I was still in the army, Kurt sent me this panicked email telling me all about Tom. We can talk about him, at some point, if you like. Assuming he isn't some Jesse St Jackass," Rachel giggled, "then he's probably an okay guy. Maybe I'll meet him someday, whatever." He stroked her face. "But the fact is you're here. With me. As we were meant to be. I'm good with that."
"Me too, baby" Rachel said, and kissed him.
The cabin was quiet, that holy, Zen-like quiet punctuated only by the sounds of two hearts beating, breathing, and blood rushing in their ears. They both knew that tomorrow would be a time for different questions and some decisions, but for now they were content to just accept the truth, that they had, against all odds, found their way back to each other.
"Finn?"
"Yes?"
"It's only eight o'clock. I'm hungry."
Finn started laughing.
"Tell you what. I know a great Chinese takeout place. Come with me. We'll take Kurt's car, and then we can bring it down close to the cabin on the way back."
Rachel bounced out of bed, checked that her braid was still (somewhat) intact, and got dressed. They walked hand-in-hand back up the slope, and Finn drove to the restaurant. Along the way, Rachel played a YouTube video of her acceptance speech on her phone. When they pulled into the parking lot, he almost crushed her with a hug and kissed her breathless.
"I love you, too, baby" he murmured in her ear.
As they waited for their order, Rachel felt a tap on her shoulder. An older woman who had been waiting with them was standing there, looking very nervous.
"Excuse me, are you Rachel Berry, the actress?" she asked.
Rachel smiled.
"Yes, I am, "Very pleased to meet you," she said, and shook the woman's hand. "Have you seen my show?"
"Oh no, not yet," the woman said, "But my husband and I would love to if we get to New York. We did see you on the Tony Awards show." She looked meaningfully at Finn.
Rachel pulled up a list on her iPhone.
"Could I get your names? I maintain a list of people for tickets—if you are in New York, mention my name and tell them who you are, and you'll be guaranteed some good seats, as my guests."
Her eyes grew wide.
"Murphy. John and Mary Murphy. Thank you so much!" As Rachel entered the information on her phone, Mary grew bolder.
"Pardon me for asking, but is this young man the one you left to find? "
Rachel looked at Finn, wanting to make sure he was okay with it. He nodded.
"Mary, this is Finn Hudson, the love of my life. You can quote me."
"Pleased to meet you, ma'am." Finn smiled, shaking her hand.
Rachel autographed a takeout menu for Mary and Finn took a picture of the two women. Mary was ecstatic.
An idea occurred to her.
"Mary, could you please take a picture of Finn and me with my phone?" Finn bent down so that his head was next to Rachel's and Mary snapped the picture of the two of them, grinning. After Mary left, Rachel looked at Finn.
"Would you mind if I send our picture to Tom and Kurt? Tom will send it on to our producers, to give them an idea how I'm doing."
"And how are you doing?" Finn asked. Rachel wrapped her arms around his neck.
"Perfectly," she replied.
"Then send the picture."
They sat at his pine dining table and devoured the food. Finn chuckled at Rachel's beer burps, something that she only ever let him see. She never drank beer with Tom; he despised it.
"I'd forgotten how damned cute you are when you do that," he said, and Rachel winked mischievously at him.
She wanted her feelings at that moment frozen forever. The scene was as she had always imagined for them, sitting alone together, enjoying a meal at their table and sharing intimate banter. Only, in the past, they had always been married in those scenarios. This time, however, it didn't matter to her in the least. What counted more was the peacefulness, the rightness of it. She had shared dinners similar to this with Tom, but had never felt that sense of rightness.
That sense of rightness enabled her to ask a question.
"Finn, why didn't you try to contact me after you and Jane broke up?" It was just a question, without any anger or hurt behind it. Just simple curiosity. She could see he appreciated that; he didn't look uncomfortable at all.
"I didn't think I was ready," he replied immediately. Then he smiled at her. "I wanted to be whole for you."
"You don't feel whole?" She went to the fridge and grabbed two more beers, and led him outside to the porch, sitting on the steps. The cool evening air felt wonderful. "Tell me," she said.
He struggled to explain.
"The nightmares and the weird paranoia are pretty much gone," he said, "But yesterday the people that I rent this cabin from said they wanted to give it to me. They say I saved their son."
"One of the wounded soldiers you carried to safety was their son?"
"Yeah."
"Finn, it's very generous, of them, but I can see how they are grateful to you, and wanted to show it."
She felt him stiffen.
"It's all wrong," he said. "The Silver Star, them calling me a hero over this. I don't feel like one. I was just doing my job." He stopped. Crickets called. "The only heroes, as far as I'm concerned, are those three guys lying in their graves right now. I owe everything to them. So does everyone else."
Rachel said nothing, letting him continue with his thoughts.
"I won't feel right until I repay them in some way. Maybe write a song for them. That's what I've been trying to do since Jane and I split up." He looked truly sorrowful. "But nothing's coming."
Rachel nodded, still silent. Finally, Finn looked at her.
"What do you think?"
At first she was afraid to speak, to weigh in on something about which she knew almost nothing. She chose, instead, to go with her heart.
"Finn, they gave their lives so that you and the others could live. I never knew them, but they will always have a special place in my heart for making it possible for you to return to me. But you, you've been given the chance to live your life well, something they now will never get the chance to experience. You have the chance to be a decent man; to have babies with me; to grow old, surrounded by your family and friends. Don't you think that would be the best way—the only-way—to properly repay them? "
She stopped, wondering if she had said too much, presumed too much. Insects fluttered around the porchlight; those that had yet to find their mates called to each other out there, in the soft darkness. Finn was silent. Rachel could see him struggling over what she had said. Finally, he seemed to visibly relax. Then he spoke.
"You've always been a guiding light for me. I could always depend on you to tell me what you think, and I could always trust your kind heart. But it just seems too easy, to live a good life. A life with you. It would be like Christmas every day."
Rachel cradled his face in her hands.
"After all you've been through already, I'd say you deserve at least that."
Then it happened. The last barrier he had erected, preventing him from accepting that he deserved to survive and be happy, fell away, like an earthen dam, worn away by the power of love. Finn started to sob on the steps, grateful for the gift Eddie, Trevor and Bill had given him, and to the small woman with the huge heart next to him for helping him accept it.
Rachel put her arm around him, as he slowly, finally, became whole.
They ended up much the way they had begun, sitting on the steps, leaning close. A coyote, who had paused to watch them from the safety of the woods, went on its way, satisfied that everything was as it should be.