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RIMA

Chapter 17: Hoping and Praying

I wasn't sure what I was doing , but as I waited outside the doors for my que to walk down the aisle, I found myself eyes closed and hands clasped together in prayer.

I never prayed before knowing that a vampire is a condemned being for eternity, but that didn't seem to matter anymore.

I prayed for a miracle. For Shiki to be here. For my first love and best friend to support me and wish me a happy life with my husband.

My best friend.

That's all he was to me now.

The one who taught me to smile, to be happy with who I am.

The one who gave me his friendship.

The one I fell in love with.

The one who I dreamed of for countless years.

The one who's blood I will always crave and never have again.

The one who broke my heart.

But all that didn't matter anymore. Not as I prayed.

Please, Please,Please! I won't hope to be with him anymore, just please grant me this one wish whoever's listening, If he can be with me on this one day then I know I'll be okay. I'll live my life peacefully and happy just so long as he's here with me today.

The more that I prayed I got more and more hopeful just as I knew that it was also pointless.

There was no way that he was going to be here.

Ruka said it herself. He had been acting like he didn't even remember me. Though I knew this, I couldn't help but to keep praying.

Just as I realized it was hopeless to be praying I heard all the guests out in the garden respectfully get up just as the song on a piano began to play.

Gathering up my strength to make it through this ceremony I put one foot in front of another, walking to the glass doors.

Walking to my future.

My mind was now set.

I was going to marry Rokoru and love him. I knew that I could someday. I owed him that much as well as much much more.

The rush of his scent hit me all at once as HIS arms came from behind, wrapping protectively around me, holding me.

I couldn't believe it. This couldn't be real. Not moments away from my wedding.

"Rima, don't go. Don't do it." came his beautiful velvety voice like satin wrapping all over me.

I felt my whole being tighten. I couldn't move.

"I love you" he whispered in my ear so softly. He sounded like he was in pain.

"I love you, stay with me" he repeated.

Those were the words that I longed to hear more than anything. I knew now that he was really here. The love and pain of what could not be came rushing into me. I couldn't hold back the tears. I had gotten my miracle.

"Shi-"

"Shiki.......Shiki.." I cried wrapping my arms around his neck not able to stop myself.

This one moment in time would be enough for me I decided crying into his chest.

I had gotten what I wanted and now I was to keep my end. I was only going to have him as my friend and nothing more. God had given me what I asked and now I had to keep my end of the deal.

"I didn't think you were going to come" I cried into his chest gripping him closer to my body.

He didn't answer and I didn't mind.

I wanted this moment to last forever. To hear those words again.

My thoughts were shattered when one of the wedding planners spoke,"Touya-sama, what's going on?"

As I thought of something to say, I heard another voice beat me to it, freezing my body.

"She might need some time, Lisa." came his voice sounding all calm. I felt my eyes go wide with shock, a feeling that I had lost over the past few months.

Dropping my arms from Shiki I turned to look at Rokoru.

He was leaning on a wall opposite from us. His eyes were still gentle as he looked at me. I couldn't take it. I was a horrible being, something that didn't deserve happiness. It seemed that all I as good for was hurting him.

"R-....Rokoru" As I said his name I felt all my self hatred.

Hatred for hurting him yet again.

For using him to make myself feel better.

I had what I wanted. I got my wish. Shiki was here. Knowing that, there was nothing to hold me back now.

I would no longer hurt the man that I was to marry. The one who gave me nothing but love.

I had my mind made up now. This one moment brought me enough happiness to last a life time.

With that I quickly made my way into his arms.

"Rokoru ...I I'm ready now- " I began, but he stopped me. He caressed the side of my face silencing me, watching me with gentle calm eyes.

I felt myself start to panic.

Nodding his head slowly ,"Do what you feel is right in here..." he said placing his hand over my heart, instantly calming it.

I knew what he was trying to tell me.

That I didn't have to marry him. To listen to my heart. To go with the one I loved.

I understood all this, but at the same time, I didn't want to.

"If you're decision makes you happy, then that's all I need" he went on confirming my thoughts. I felt my heart start to race again.

"I'll always love you, and I'll be here as long as you need and want me."

"But, the ceremony has started already" Lisa said trying to keep order as she gave commands over the small ear piece. I had forgotten that she was there.

"Then make sure that everything is calm" Rokoru ordered releasing his hold on me with his hypnotic eyes.

"Take your time" he said returning his eyes to me again.

Leaning over, I felt his soft lips kiss my forehead as he left in the opposite direction.

"I don't know what happened the last time we saw each other. Not for sure I don't." he said pulling me into his arms.

The warmth, his touch that I had craved. I wanted it all, for all eternity.

"I love you, I do. Stay with me.....forever" he begged.

Those words that I had longed to hear. My words. His love for me.

"I can't lose you a second time" he whispered in pain.

And I can't either, but I must I thought to myself. I didn't know much about god's but I knew that he had granted me my wish and I had to keep my promise in return. One thing I knew was that you don't two time a god.

"Shiki.......I've loved you for so long, I have... Thinking that you weren't going to be here killed me inside" I confessed, crying.

I was going to tell him everything. What I had locked inside my heat for so long. I was going to confess my hopeless love for him while my wedding ceremony took place.

I felt him looking at me with intense eyes, like he couldn't believe what I was saying.

I finally took a good look at him. The perfect face of the man that I loved for so long. Those beautiful pale blue eyes that seemed to change color from time to time complemented by his soft dark red hair. His perfect nose, the contours of his flawless skin, his perfect beautiful lips, I wanted all of him .

"Since the last time we saw each other , I've tried to forget you, but I couldn't. I love you so much, it hurt to the point where I cried myself to sleep all the time, feeling my heart being ripped open, but I was also moving on. I found a peace of mind and happiness in him that I thought I would never find again. I promised him that I would stay with him, love him.......and start a family with him when I was ready. He said that he would wait however long it took."

This time I knew, in front of him that I didn't have to be strong. I cried and cried as I confessed everything.

"For......for so long, I would dream.......dream what it would have been like to be by your side as the one you love.... but .....but it's too late for that" I amended.

I knew that he had the right to know my feelings, now that I knew he loved me too. But I had made a promise and I was going to keep it, even as it slowly killed me.

"I realized that if I could have you here with me....like this.....it would be to have you as my best friend......" I tried to get it all out, but the pain was so much, that that alone took a lot of strength.

"..to....to ....have you...here....as my best friend...wishing me happiness...."

Clasping my hand over my mouth, unable to believe what I had just done I let myself fall to the floor and began to cry even more.

I didn't dare look at Shiki. His expression would be enough to kill me. I would never forgive myself for being the one to cause him so much pain.

"I've made up....my mind.....I'm going to marry him" I managed to say.

I love you I thought to myself. The damage to both of us was done.

I couldn't say anymore. I held him one last time in my arms, silently sealing once again my love for him. I didn't dare ask him to sit through the wedding. I knew that neither one of us would be able to handle the pain of it. Just knowing he was in the same building as me helped calm me down enough to make my way to the garden doors once again.

I wasn't sure how late I was for my own wedding, but I didn't care.

"There you are!" Lisa sighed rushing to my side. She handed me my bouquet and quickly made demands over her ear peice.

The sun was just setting lighting up the sky to mellow colors of purple to pink to orange and yellow. A perfect vision for a wedding outdoors.

In no time the choir began to play a perfect replica of Pahelbel's Canon in D major perfect version.

My cue to walk down the aisle.

Quickly making sure my pale blue and white dress was neat as well as my hair I took a deep breath as I went through the doors to the garden. Everyone in the room looked to the center where surly but slowly I made my way down the white carpet where the sakura trees lightly blew petals of pink and painted light blue all around us.

The looked at me in awe, happy to see that another of our kind had found happiness, peace and love in another. I even saw some with tears in their eyes, as I tried not to cry but be happy enough.

Trying to hold myself together, I saw him standing there, on the white gazebo with the beautiful sunset behind him, looking happy, calm, and serene. Our eyes met and I couldn't look away.

He looked just as flawless and beautiful as the first time that I saw him. The night when my life changed.

I would grow to love him, I told myself. And it wouldn't be hard. Maybe centuries from now we really would be happy together. Because that's how long it would take me to move on from my first love, my best friend.

As I walked down the aisle, I couldn't help but wish that it was Shiki that was walking me down the aisle right now. At the other end I saw my father dressed in a black suit waiting to my right. He looked proud as I walked closer to him and even more so as I placed my hand in his.

He walked me up to the gazebo where Rokoru and a vampire who had 'blessed' other vampire weddings were patiently waiting.

As we all three faced each other my father placed my hand in Rokoru's awaiting one. Looking at me with love for his daughter he smiled and kissed my forehead, an important sign that said he was now giving me away to be married. With a final smile towards me and Rokoru he turned and walked back to sit beside my mother where she too looked on in awe and profound love.

Just as the man in an all black robe opened his mouth to speak, the choir quickly went down to a soft low key were they continued to play in the background.

"My dear, eternal beings of the night, we are all gathered here by this lovely sunset to witness the love of another two of our kind. They will be united not only by this ceremony, but more importantly by their ever growing love for one another. We here can do nothing but witness in joy and in love as these two today come together, for all eternity." he began, his voice was clear and deep despite his look of age.

"Though we are known as creatures of he dark, monsters, we know ourselves that we are also capable of loving with all our beings. Some of us are even more human than those who call us monsters. And here today to prove that is Rima and Rokoru" he said placing both our hands in one anothers.

"They have planned this day, to bring about love and to unite under the open sky, for all to witness." With that I felt my heart tighten. I knew what he was going to say next.

"As they repeat these words, their love will be proven."

Turning to me first, "I Rima Touya promise to love and care for Rokoru Minori, as his wife, lover, and best friend. Through sickness and health, for better or for worse, richer or poorer, I will stay by his side to protect and love him both as a vampire, for all eternity, and as his wife, with all my heart, soul and love."

Looking at Rokoru I repeated the lines to him. To let him know that I was going to keep my promise. That I was going to love him.

"Do you Rima Touya accept this man, Rokoru Minori as your eternal lover, as your husband and companion now and forever?"

Forever I thought to myself wanting to cry my heart out. For myself and for Shiki. The love that we could no longer ever have.

"I do" I said feeling my chest tighten tenfold. The pain was unbearable.

With that he turned to Rokoru.

"I, Rokoru Minori promise to love and care for Rima Touya, as her husband, lover, and best friend. Through sickness and in health, for better or for worse, rich or poorer, I will stay by her side to protect and love her both as a vampire, for all eternity, and as her husband, with all my heart, soul and love." he repeated perfectly, flawlessly.

"Do you Rokoru Minori accept this woman, Rima Touya, as your eternal lover, as your wife and companion now and forever?" he asked him.

"I do" he said sealing in our love with his beautiful violet eyes gleaming.

I heard claps coming from the audience.

Instead of making us kiss, in this type of ceremony we were to drink blood from one another.

Leaning in to him and bearing my fangs I closed my eyes.

But I felt something stop me.

I heard gasps coming from our guests and I realized that it had been Rokoru that stopped me. Cupping my face gently in his soft hands he smiled at me.

"I'm sorry Rima." he said.

The guests started to stir but stayed silent to listen.

" I can't make you suffer anymore. I thought that this was what was best to see you smile again, but I know I'm wrong."

He looked at me, his eye's seeming to shine despite the sadness they held. It was breaking my heart.

"I can't bear to see you suffer anymore. I know who you belong with and so do you."

"But- I said- I -" I tried to explain but he stopped me again.

"I know that with him you will be forever in love and live a beautiful joyous life" he said.

"Knowing that, I can truly be happy." he went on. The love in his eyes did not betray his words.

"Go to him" he told me with a final kiss just as the fireworks began to light the whole garden with their sparkles and glitter.

"I'm sure he's waiting for you too." I felt his lips on the top of my head as he held me one last time before releasing me and giving me a small push towards the doors.

I smiled at him with true love as I felt tears escaping my eyes.

He had set me free.

With that I gathered my dress in my hands and ran out of the garden, away from my wedding as our guests all got up to see what was going on.

As I pushed past the doors I followed his scent back to the room where I had gotten ready.

I felt my heart pound against my chest as I shoved the door open, where Shiki beat me to it.

He wrapped his arms around me as I held him to my body, never wanting to let go. He was mine. Now and forever.

I cried and cried.

Tear of joy.

Tears of love.

"I love you.....I love you" I repeated to him over and over again the words that I had held in for years.

He responded by kissing me with full force. I wanted more.

I wanted all of him. Ever part of his being. I wanted it all.

"I love you" he whispered back against my lips.

I heard a small quiet sound of a gasp seconds before I felt the unbearable pain of something ripping through my body. Something excruciatingly sharp and cold.

Something had stabbed right through my heart.

"Long time no see, Rima" came the cold voice of Kaori from behind me, smiling.

And then I as I was held in the arms of the man I loved I felt myself go numb, into complete nothingness.

This had to be God's punishment on me for breaking my promise, you never two time a God.

~End of a sweet dream, but I'll show you another one~