I know its been a VERY LONG time since I've updated but I'm back now and with summer vacation here and finals over and done with, I am back :D I hope you all didn't give up on me 3 and I jope you enjoy this chapter :D

RUKA

Chapter 26: Friends

I watched as Senri miserably walked by me. I felt the pain he felt knowing that Rima had lost her memories.

Their memories.

The love they shared, the pain of being away from one another.

All of it was gone.

But as I watched him close the door with one last look back at Rima, I couldnt help but feel envy.

Envy that she could easily forget it all and not feel a thing.

Envy that she wasn't broken over the loss.

Envy that I wasn't as lucky as her.

For so long I loved one man, devoted to him and only him yet in the end I suffered more than anyone.

In the end he had only wanted her and I was left with the only choice of forgetting him and moving on. I tried. I had tried so hard to smile without the pain underneath, but I couldn't hide it.

The fact that for me, there was no moving on. The empty void I feel deep in the being of my very core will never be gone. But with each new day, I try. I try to move on with my life, but when I feel I'm making progress, one glimpse at his smile, his smile for her and for her only, shatters it all.

Its when I realized, sometimes, even time itself isn't enough for a vampire.

"It's not fair is it?" Rima asked silently. Her very question seemed as if she knew what I was thinking. Almost as if she seemed to know my ugly thoughts.

"Whats not fair?"

She didn't look at me and slowly I made my way to her and sat on the corner of her bed.

"I'm scared to remember," she whispered in a wavering voice.

"I'm scared of hurting them."

still she wouldn't look at me and soon enough I saw a drop of water hit her hand.

"When love hurts, is it worth it?" she cried.

Her question took me off guard, almost as if I was being tested, to see what kind of being I was.

Slowly and carefully I thought about my answer.

But she and I were so different. In different situations under different circumstances.

I realized, this was something I couldn't help her with. It was something she was going to have to find out on her own.

"I think it depends on the person," I told her.

"For me, I'm still not sure if it's worth it when it hurts, when it aches. I was in love with one man for countless decades. The moon as my witness as night after night passed and I stayed in love. I wanted to only be close to him, to protect him, to love him. Then the happiest of nights came when I offered him my blood and he accepted. Feeling his fangs pierce through my skin as he eagerly took my lifeline was all I had ever wanted. But I was stupid to think that things were going to change between the two of us. I knew why he accepted, yet I went ahead and fantasized. It was dangerous and I knew it but at the same time, I didn't care. The day it hit me that my unwanted love was all I was ever going to have from him, I felt a part of me die, while another part still clung to him. He loves only her, and nothing will ever change that. Slowly Ive begun to let go and I still have so much more to go, but your different from me. That is why I'm going to say that you have to find that answer on your own."

I wasn't sure if I told her my story to help her, or if I just told her to finally let it out.

But one thing I was sure about.

I had to stop blaming her for my loss and grow up. It was time to accept that he would never be mine.

"Thank you Ruka-san," she said looking at me.

And for the first time, someone was smiling for me out of happiness, not out of pity.

"Boy's aside, I brought some nail polishes, ice cream and magazines. Were going to have some girl time," I announced gently wiping her face and smiling with all my heart for the first time in a long time.

~End of a sweet dream, But I'll show you another one~