CHAPTER 7! I am so sorry for the wait! I Hope everyone likes it!

No one ever knows how you truly feel. You can describe the feeling to them, but they never experience it with you. It's something no one ever understands no matter who it is, they are your feelings and yours alone. This is how I feel now. Forever lost in my thoughts of "feelings." Alone, trapped, captive.

I hear Peeta calling my name everyday trying to get me back into reality, but I can't go their because once I do all there is left for me are problems to deal with. Here at least I have no problems other than my feelings, but those I am getting use to blocking out. Not allowing myself to feel anything, only being numb.

The one true friend that has been their for me threw the toughest times was no longer their, he was now my greatest enemy. Gale. At one point I thought I loved him romantically, but I got it confused with family love. Gale was my best friend ever and I thought I could count on him always, apparently I can't.

Having Gale hurt me in such a profound way hurts sooo much. It is like having a piece of me ripped out. Not a fast rip but a slow painful one wanting me to agonize over it.

We promised to be best friends forever!

We promised to stay with each other when we were scared,

To lift the other up when they fall,

To ease the aches when their heart ached,

Whatever it takes they are in because they are your friend now until the very end!

I only wish this was true! My best friend left me and now I will never get him back! He is lost to me forever! Now I'm alone forever with no best friend! It felt as if I Had no one.

"Katniss?"

But I know I'm not, not really. I will always have a best friend, my one true love, Peeta. He is my rock. The one that can see through me to know that something is wrong. He knows what I love, what I hate. He is my best friend and soul mate! And best of all he is mine!

"Peeta," I managed to struggle out of my mouth that I just recognized for the first time felt like sand paper.

"Yes, Katniss sweetheart?"

He said as his hands flew to mine holding them so tightly as if he didn't want me to slip away from him.

"Peeta can we go home, I want to go to bed?"

"Katniss, I'm sorry sweetheart we can't you have been unresponsive for a week now and, the doctors have to check you out first, but I promise we will be home soon. Katniss?"

"mmm" I managed to get out as sleep took over. I felt like I have not slept in weeks.

"I am so sorry! I couldn't protect you when you needed me most. I will never be able to forgive myself for this. For … letting that monster hurt you!" He was practically yelling at himself.

I was so tired and weak all I wanted to do was go to sleep and I was very tempted to, but I could not leave Peeta in this state.

I grabbed his hand with one of my own and put my other hand on the side of his face pushing his face so his eyes would meet mine. A single tear escaped his eyes and I wiped it away with my thumb.

"Katniss I am so sorry for dumping all this on you right now, you just woke up, I should have waited."

"No" I said firmly. "Peeta, it's not your fault, any of this. You have been amazing though all of this…nonsense. If anything I should be telling you how sorry I am for ruining our wedding, and allowing Gale back into my life, our lives. I am just so, so, so sorry for all of this. For ruining EVERYTHING"

"O Katniss" a hint of a smile played on his lips. "None of this is your fault and I promise once you are out of this hospital we are going to have our wedding and I will take you on the most romantic honeymoon ever. Alright? We can even buy a new house in a totally different district. I will go anywhere or do anything for you. Please just promise me one thing…"

The concerned look in his eyes startled me that I just sat there waiting for him to continue. "Please just don't leave me like that ever again don't become so….distant. Please promise me that?"

I looked into his sad, tired eyes and knew that if I ever left him again it would not be good.

I pulled his face closer to mine and our lips brushed one another so gently, not wanting to scare the other. As our lips brushed for the second tip I whispered, "I promise"

With that Peeta took my face with both of his hands and kissed me ever so passionately. I grabbed his hand and pulled him into my bed with me where I snuggled up on him and started to drift off to sleep.

I listened to the steady beat of his heart and the evenness to his breathing. Then I realized I don't need a new home, or to move to a different district. I have all I need right here with Peeta and that is all I can ever ask for. Gale will not scare me off so easily if he wants a fight I will give him one.

And with this silent resolution within myself I feel asleep in Peeta's warmth wanting nothing more to stay like this, to stay with him forever.

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