(Edward POV)

It takes me all of five minutes to get my shit together. It takes another five to use the side of the house to help me down my window and to the ground. Why not use the front door? Well a) I'm trying to be sneaky for I want no one to know I'm leaving and b) it makes this seem more like a mission. Walking straight out the front door would be rather… unimportant.

I am odd.

The letter is burning a hole in my back pocket. I keep seeing the bold print behind my eyes. Bella Swan is still alive. She is, I know she is. I can feel it. I would know if she wasn't. She's a strong young woman and she wouldn't back down without a fight. But would she have to fight? Is she all right or hurt?

I swallow the thoughts as I toss the overnight bag over my one shoulder and take a very deep breath. With one last glance at the two-story home I grew up in, I turn and walk off into the forest that's right beside my path.

The pathway to Bella…

And then I stop, turn and smack my forehead.

I'm driving, I'm not one of the seven dwarves, and I am most certainly not walking. Hell, it'd take me days to get to her and who knows if she'd even be in Handover.

No, I will get to her.

…

It's night with no traffic. I swear I'm the only one on the road throughout the whole journey. So I drive fast. Cullen fast. The trees zoom past me as dark, black blurbs as I fly past them. Thank the Lord above for my Volvo. My sweet, sweet Volvo.

…

It hits me again. I'm crazy; I have been crazy for the past fifteen days.

She's gone.

I'll have moments where I'm laughing, ridiculous, and completely insane. Hysterical. That's a good way to describe me.

And then it'll hit me again. Right smack in the middle of my chest like a boulder, and I'll break down. I never know how long it takes me to recover.

I have to pull my car over halfway through the journey. It's nearly four in the morning. I pull over on the shoulder of the road. The trees are no longer dark, black, blobs, but dark, tall shadows instead. I let my head fall to the steering wheel and a keening noise escapes me.

I sob.

Dry sobs.

Then my eyes fill with moisture.

And then the moisture falls down my cheeks. Onto my chin and it almost tickles. In the end, the oval shaped saline drop falls onto my jeans.

We're by the lake and the moon is out along with the stars trailing along behind and around it. It's kind of romantic if we were more than friends. But since we aren't more than friends, it's casual. It's us. Sitting on an old worn out blanket under the stars with the crickets singing their song and a toad croaking every so often.

"I tried to count the stars once." Bella laughs softly. She moves her head to my lap. We both notice the gesture and its intimacy but neither of us speaks up. For us, we aren't a couple but at times I swear we act like it.

I remember when we started high school every single student – and even a few teachers – thought we were a couple. An item. Dating.

I wish.

"Oh yeah?" I ask and she nods against my lap, her face gazing at the stars. They illuminate a soft glow in Bella's chocolate brown eyes and I find myself staring. "How far did you get?" I place my hands behind me on the ground for support and gaze up to the sky.

"Not very far. Maybe a hundred, two if I'm pushing it." She shakes her head in disbelief. "I used to wish upon the stars too."

"Did any come true?"

"Well, I ended up meeting someone like you, so yes. I would say a few came true." I can feel her eyes on me, but I'm too shy to look down at her.

And I almost tell her, in just a little whisper, that I dream of her too.

I'm sobbing harder. I feel weaker than weak, weaker than…

I huff.

"Sitting here's getting me no where." I scold myself. "T'is gonna be okay."