Ianto was down in the room with the glass tank again, where he'd relocated the alien slugs earlier that week. They weren't exactly the best of company, but at least they didn't watch him with suspicion and disgust, and for that he was immeasurably grateful.

For the past three days he'd been trapped inside the Hub, unable to leave, call anyone other than his teammates, or even head up to the Tourist Office and man the desk for a while. The physical act of being in the Hub for so long was not really that much of an ordeal – he'd spent far longer than seventy-two hours straight down there in the past – however the constant scrutiny of his colleagues was almost more than he could bear.

Picking up the bucket of lettuce by his feet, Ianto slid open a hatch in the side of the large tank and threw the leaves in. They fell to the bottom of the container, joining the layer of curling, brown vegetables already rotting away down there. The creatures hadn't touched any of it, and what few tests Owen had managed to run suggested they didn't actually have the facilities to consume that kind of food, but Ianto felt far better making the useless gesture than not even attempting to feed them.

Looking after the slugs (or pretending to, as the case may be) was a poor way to assuage his guilt over essentially stealing the last few months of someone's life, but it was all he could do; especially after he'd confirmed for himself Jack's claims about Alex's past. It wasn't as though he'd be able to change Jack's mind, after all; it was nigh on impossible to make a valid case for someone who'd taken a business agreement too far, ignored his wishes and then threatened to hunt him down, particularly when they had a history of kidnapping and abusing others on top of everything else.

If, for that matter, he would even want to attempt making such a case.

Jack hadn't actually said anything about when or how he'd Retconned Alex but even if he hadn't (and Ianto didn't doubt for a second that he'd done it) but even if he hadn't, Ianto wasn't convinced he be fighting all that hard on Alex's behalf anymore. The last conversation he'd had with the older Welshman had shocked him, causing his faith in the impersonal arrangement to fracture into a thousand pieces. Being betrayed by a man he'd thought it safe to trust made it very hard to argue with Jack about using Retcon on someone who wasn't strictly associated with Torchwood and the secrets they needed to keep.

Sighing, Ianto turned away from the tank with reluctance and left the room. There was only so much time he could spend in the vaults before someone came looking for him, though what they thought he could be doing down there that wasn't visible on the CCTV was beyond him.

Not far from the slugs' chamber, he was brought up short by one of Jack's theatrical appearances in the middle of the hallway. The young man stopped, silently cursing just how much of a prisoner he'd become if he warranted one of those displays.

"Afraid I'd dug a tunnel out of here?" he asked, with an idle wish that such an endeavour was actually possible. "Next you'll be hiding all the spoons."

Jack grinned at the sarcasm, which only served to annoy Ianto further, and then indicated the room out of which he'd stepped. "Let's have a chat."

Ianto looked from the other man to the doorway and then back again. "Is there any point?"

"Like it or not, Ianto, you're going to have to deal with this sooner or later. I won't let you leave the Hub until I can be sure you're not going to get yourself maimed or something just because of a kink."

Kink. Ianto was really starting to hate that word. "The only reason I'm still here is because I haven't tried to leave yet," he told Jack, perhaps embellishing his own abilities a little but feeling no shame at all for doing so.

"Why haven't you then?" Jack countered smoothly.

Ianto rolled his eyes and didn't bother to answer. What good was running away when Jack would undoubtedly come after him? Whether it was to drag him back or to Retcon away his knowledge of Torchwood, there was nowhere in the world he'd be able to hide; meaning that he wasn't choosing between Jack and Alex, he was choosing between Torchwood and his... (his mind tripped over the word kink again) ...therapeutic masochism.

Ianto smiled wryly to himself, realising the folly of that thought. If he had no memory of what had happened over the last few years, he wouldn't need to flee from those demons anymore, and thus wouldn't need therapy of any kind, let alone bondage and the like.

In reality there was no decision to make at all; even if he could keep possession of his past, Ianto would never willingly give up Torchwood, and yet that still left him with the problem of his ever-decreasing discipline.

"It's in your best interests to admit defeat now," Jack was saying, suspiciously haughty as he watched Ianto's expression. "This is the only way it can be and you know it."

"This way being you or nothing?" Ianto asked bitterly. "Why, I'm practically spoilt for choice."

"Do you realise how immature you sound?"

Ianto merely shrugged in response; of course he knew, but that didn't stop him from wanting to express his anger at the other man. Even if it was only with words instead of actions.

Jack took a step forward and Ianto instantly took one back. "Look," the Captain started, "you can try to give it up cold turkey, and I'm sure for a while you'll manage it, but the manner of this thing..." He trailed off and sighed. "Ianto, I've seen people try to repress certain elements of themselves before, only to fail and end up in even more danger than ever. If you bottle everything up, I'm worried what might happen when you can't hold it back any longer."

Ianto frowned as he searched Jack's eyes for the words he wasn't saying. "You think I'll hurt myself?"

"I think you'll lose your control entirely, which, yes, might lead to you being hurt. Whether by your hand or someone else's...I'd hate to hazard a guess."

Again, Ianto was silent. The concern Jack was showing – that of quiet worry instead of selfish jealousy – confused him. The tone was too gentle, hinted at too much emotion, and Ianto wasn't comfortable to hear it.

"I promise I can help," Jack said in a low voice. "I promise you can believe in me."

The words bled into the tight little knot of denial in Ianto's heart and he closed his eyes, feeling himself weakening against his will. "You know I already do," he murmured back. "I always have."

"Even though you wouldn't share your secrets with me?"

"You don't share yours with me," Ianto immediately countered. As he spoke aloud that fact, the brief vulnerability vanished once again. He fixed Jack with a steady look. "Besides, we're not about that, are we? Pillowtalk and hearts on our sleeves. Why does it bother you so much that I have a life outside of this place?" He frowned. "Or perhaps I should say had."

Jack scowled as the other man's barriers slammed back up into place. "If it were only a 'life' I wouldn't have a problem at all. But that's not the case, is it? You were abusing...no, paying someone to abuse your body." He shook his head, a pained look on his face. "You deserve better than that." Jack lifted a hand, cupping Ianto's cheek tenderly and the young man swallowed down a sudden rush of unwanted emotion.

"I told you why-"

"Yes, you told me," Jack interrupted. "You told me it was because of what I had done that you needed a stranger to hit you and fuck you and whatever the hell else he did to you."

Ianto froze, lips parted to protest, but the words caught in his throat as he realised what Jack was trying to say. The immortal thought he was to blame for sending Ianto to Alex, because of the way he'd continued to tease his body whilst the alien in Ianto's head made him feel pain at each touch.

"If I'd only resisted," Jack continued quietly. "If I'd actually stopped and thought for one damn second..." He grimaced. "I didn't want to hurt you, Ianto. I knew what it was doing to you, but I couldn't help myself." He slid his hand down slightly, to run his thumb across Ianto's bottom lip. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I did that to you."

Ianto brought up his own hand and covered Jack's. "It isn't your fault," he reassured him, barely registering the hypocrisy as he tried to comfort the older man. "It's obviously the twisted way my brain is wired; you just happened to be nearby when it short-circuited." The troubled expression on Jack's face remained in place despite Ianto's attempt at humour and he carried on without thinking. "Anyway, it's really not a bad thing, you know. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Alex said lots of people cope with their troubles by going to someone like him and forgetting themselves for a while."

Jack winced at the mention of the other man and pulled away his hand, perhaps a little too sharply. "But you were still too ashamed to come to me with it."

"That wasn't shame," Ianto told him. "That was..." He paused to consider his words. What was the best way to explain without giving away the fact that his feelings for the other man were truly to blame? "It just isn't something one imposes on their..." he only just caught himself before he could say anything incriminating, "...their boss."

"Their boss," echoed Jack quietly. He nodded to himself as though something he'd suspected had just be confirmed. "Okay," he went on, more firmly now. "I suppose I can see the logic in that." His gaze flicked briefly to Ianto's lips and then back up again a second before he lunged forward.

Ianto stumbled back, caught off balance, and his surprise allowed Jack to grab hold of his upper arms and pin him against the corridor wall. "Hey!" he cried in alarm.

"But what if you didn't impose on me?" Jack asked. "What if I just took matters into my own hands?"

"Let go," responded Ianto, trying not to notice to the way that resolute tone made his entire body quiver.

"No."

"Jack..."

"It's okay, Ianto." The immortal pressed closer, his gaze intense. "I want to do this for you."

"I don't want it," Ianto quickly told him. "I'm fine."

"You've been on edge for days because the truth is out. People are watching and worrying over you, which I know you hate, and I've stopped you from seeing that bastard by locking you in here. Seems to me that if ever you needed some release or escapism or whatever you want to call it, it would be now."

Ianto clenched his eyes shut against Jack's determined expression. "You don't..." he stuttered weakly, "...you can't just..."

Jack leaned in, his cheek brushing against Ianto's. "Tell me what you need," he murmured.

Ianto shook his head in denial and tried to pull away, but Jack wouldn't let him go.

"Tell me what to do, Ianto," he urged. "Let me be a part of this."

Just hearing those beseeching words made the young man shudder and he turned his face away to hide whatever truth might lie bare upon it. He couldn't tell Jack what he wanted because then the Captain would act upon it, and if he did that Ianto didn't think he'd be strong enough to resist him.

"Ianto," Jack said softly, full of compassion. "Ianto, please."

Ianto's breath caught sharply. He didn't want to hear that depth of emotion, not when he was so close to giving in to Jack's offer. He arched his back, bringing the full length of their bodies into contact, and prayed it would be enough to turn Jack's thoughts aside to something far easier to handle.

The grip of Jack's hands loosened almost immediately, the act of submission encouraging him, and he pressed his lips to Ianto's jaw. "That's it," he muttered between kisses. "Let me in."

Ianto's head thudded back against the wall. Jack clearly didn't understand at all; his gentle persuasion and the fact he'd relaxed when Ianto seemed to give in simply proved that he had no idea what Ianto really wanted. And even though he asked that Ianto direct him, what point was there in commanding when one wanted command taken from them?

Jack's mouth slid over Ianto's, the younger man instinctively opening to him, and for a few minutes the heat between them rose, hands beginning to roam and soft gasps twisting around each other's tongue.

"What do you want?" Jack whispered against Ianto's lips and the younger man shook his head, refusing to answer. "Do you want me to tie you up?"

"Don't," Ianto protested, trying to lose himself in the kiss again. He could deal with sex with Jack, it certainly wasn't a hardship to give into that physical lust, but he couldn't deal with the other man trying to make him verbalise his desires.

"What should I-"

"Just kiss me," Ianto interrupted, pulling Jack closer and doing his best to silence him. The older man relented briefly, sweeping his hands up Ianto's sides before moving inward to tug his tie loose.

"There's rope and handcuffs in the room behind us," Jack went on after a while, oblivious to Ianto's attempts at deflection. "I didn't know what you'd prefer so I brought a few things for you to choose from..."

"I said don't!" Ianto cried, abruptly shoving Jack away. "Don't talk about it like that!"

Jack stared at him with uncertainty as he regained his footing. "Like what?" he asked.

"Like it's that easy!"

The young man pushed himself from the wall but Jack caught his arm as he tried to pass. "If I'm not doing it right you have to tell me," Jack growled. "I'm not a fucking expert on this kind of thing, you know."

Ianto yanked his arm free. "You don't have to be an expert," he retorted. When Jack tried to grab him again, Ianto elbowed him swiftly in the stomach and hurried away before the Captain could recover. "But you do have to use some bloody common sense!"

He vanished around the corner, leaving Jack alone and mystified over what he'd done wrong.