A/N In true continuation form…..we pick up right where we left the ladies. I should still be able to do more later this weekend but here's a start to the continuation.

Chapter 15

The morning light started to pour into the penthouse suite. Jane sat at the end of the couch with her feet wrapped up underneath her. She looked over at the sleeping doctor who was occupying more than what should have been just half of the couch. Jane gently reached over and adjusted the blanket being careful not to wake Maura. She needs sleep, thought Jane. Maura had only fallen asleep about 2 hours ago.

Part of Jane had wanted to move Maura to the bed but she was afraid that would wake her up. She almost suggested it earlier when it was clear that Maura was fading and going to fall asleep but she again was concerned that any sleep suggestion would have been actively resisted by Maura. So she just let her friend talk and cry herself to sleep. Jane's protective instinct kicked in and kept her perched on the end of the couch. She hadn't wanted Maura to wake up alone.

Jane herself had not gotten any sleep. She was surprised that she didn't feel more tired than what she felt at the moment. Mostly, she was just replaying her conversation with Maura in her head over and over. There were so many things that Maura had touched on but Jane also knew there was so much more that needed to be discussed. She tried to convince herself that her approach last night was the right one, that letting Maura talk without interrupting was the right thing to have done. But doubt was creeping in on Jane. Should I have pushed back harder last night?

Jane was scared that by not pushing back on some of Maura's statements it may have re-enforced Maura's belief in what she was saying. It broke Jane's heart that Maura was struggling with so much self doubt. How could Maura ever believe that people would have been better off without her in their lives? None of that thinking made any sense to Jane.

She understood most of Maura's struggles with regards to all the Doyle and O'Rourke backlash. She had already spent several nights talking with Maura about Doyle and genetics and whether a person's DNA could determine the type of person they would become. She had even suffered through Maura's quoting of seven different university studies on the topic only to have Maura still not resolve the issue within herself. Part of Maura seemed convinced that because Doyle's DNA ran through her she was going to turn into a criminal.

This was where Jane didn't understand her friend. Maura seemed convinced that she was going to change once she found out who her biological father was. It was as if she thought knowing that Doyle was a criminal would automatically make Maura one too. Hard as she tried, Jane could not seem to convince Maura that she wasn't capable of being a criminal. She tried to get Maura to see that she was the same person she was before she found out about Doyle and if she hadn't become a criminal or killer before that revelation then she wouldn't become one after the revelation. Sometimes she thought Maura accepted that argument. Sometimes, however, she knew Maura continued to struggle with her paternity.

And Jane had discussed O'Rourke with Maura. She knew that Maura felt responsible for O'Rourke being killed. Maura had repeatedly asked her if she had been the one to call Doyle when they found out who had killed Maura's half brother Colin. Doyle had given Maura a cell phone to be used to let him know how the investigation was progressing but Maura had turned the phone over to Jane. Jane hadn't made the call to Doyle but she couldn't ever say she was upset that Doyle had found out. O'Rourke would have killed Maura if he had figured out she was related to Doyle. Jane never approved of violence or murder but somehow the murder of a killer that ultimately helped protect her friend didn't seem so bad.

Jane had tried to talk Maura out of feeling like it was her fault. O'Rourke was part of the Irish mob and he was a killer. That lifestyle and who he was made him a target for murder regardless of Maura's involvement with him. But, Maura seemed fixated on the fact that Doyle had killed O'Rourke as his way of sending a message to not mess with his family. To not mess with Maura. Jane understood the guilt but she had misjudged just how deeply it had come to weigh upon Maura.

Jane understood Maura's feelings about Constance as well. There were a few times Jane had blamed herself for an injury to a loved one. Jane still fought pangs of guilt over Maura's attack and injuries inflicted by Hoyt. Maura had been in that room only because of Jane. So Maura blaming herself for Constance's injuries was not anything that shocked Jane. Jane had thought Maura had worked through that, especially with Constance recovering and gaining strength. Jane now wondered what the impact Maura's father had on her guilt level about Constance.

Jane shifted on the couch still trying not to wake up Maura. She looked over and watched Maura's heavy, deep breathing and realized that she was sound asleep. Needing to move around, Jane carefully got up off the couch. A quick double check of Maura found no disruption. Jane walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottled water from the refrigerator. She then walked out onto the terrace. She kept the door open and shifted so she could keep an eye on the couch. She was not going to have Maura awaken to an empty room.

She sighed and looked out over the park. It really was a great view and the sun was still in a low raise. The sky had a breath-taking pink hue. Wishing she could sit back and enjoy the sunrise Jane's thought travelled back to Maura's father. How could he do that to Maura? Jane had witnessed many levels of cruelty throughout her career but she would have a hard time coming up with any incident that could match what Phillip had done to Maura.

Jane knew Maura loved her father. From all the things Jane could ever get Maura to tell her about both her parents, Maura looked up to and respected Phillip and had seemed to be at ease with him. She admitted that both parents were more distant and not very affectionate but up until this incident Jane had thought that both parents loved Maura and just had issues with how they expressed that love. But for Phillip to disown his daughter for no justifiable reason was not love.

Unfortunately for Jane, she also was dealing with hurt caused by her father. Jane had worshiped her father throughout her life. She thought she had the wonderful father-daughter relationship. But then her father had walked out on her mother and it just destroyed Jane. In the beginning she was clinging to the notion that her father left her mother which was sad and unfortunate but he hadn't abandoned her and her brothers. But, slowly she had to realize that Frank had walked out on the entire family. It wasn't a martial divorce, it was a family abandonment. Even now Jane struggled to fully describe the hurt he caused when he tried to get an annulment and disavow his family.

Jane started to wonder about the things she did not have answers to yet. What really had set off Phillip that made him go as far as drawing up the Dissolution papers? And what was Constance's reaction to the entire situation? Maura had not mentioned Constance last night. Jane never did get a call back from Constance when she was still trying to figure out what was going on with Maura. How could Constance stand by her husband and support something that clearly devastated her daughter? Jane wondered about how Maura wanted to proceed and what additional fallout had not yet been addressed. She sensed Maura was not yet at the end of her heartache.

Jane got up and wandered back into the living room. She stared down at Maura and again her heart broke for the pain she knew Maura was still facing. Rest up, Maura. I'm here. Jane carefully settled back into the corner of the couch. She was determined to be right there when Maura woke up. But as she stared at her friend, one more question kept nagging at her. With all that had happened why did you run away from me?