Chapter 12

I'm so sorry this has taken so long to update! I got caught up with school and then CoLS came out and was incredibly depressing my opinion, no spoilers here but if you have read it you know what I mean) so I sort of lost my desire to write for a bit. Sorry for the lack of Magnus

/

It was just after nine when Alec finally made it back to his room. He was red faced and sweaty, but there nonetheless and just in time for Jace to come knocking on his door. Well, Jace knocked as he opened the door but it was more than he was used to.

Alec held a hand over his fast beating heart, closing his eyes and trying to slow both it and his breathing. Jace would be suspicious if he already looked worn out before their run.

"Thanks for knocking," Alec stated as Jace entered his room. He sounded winded and mentally cursed himself for speaking up soon.

"I did knock," Jace protested, apparently not noticing Alec's voice.

"Etiquette Lesson: You knock, I say come in, then you are allowed in. It's a simple three step process, not meant to be all rolled into one."

"Well I decided to skip the middle step altogether and just combine the first and the last. It makes things easier," Jace said with a wink, taking a seat on the edge of Alec's bed before giving him a strange look.

"Alec, what's wrong with you? Why are you all red faced and sweat- oh God!" Jace leapt up from the bed, frantically wiping at the back of his sweatpants and dancing around as if Alec's bed was covered in lice.

"Jace what the hell?" Alec asked, confused at the display, when he finally realized what Jace was insinuating.

"Jace! Ugh no!" He shouted, grabbing his brother and shaking him.

"You weren't uh. . . sewing any oats in here?"

"What?" Alec asked, shaking his head. "No, it just got hot in here."

Alec jerked his thumb in the direction of the still open window (he had stupidly forgotten to shut it).

"See?" He asked, one hand still on Jace's shoulder.

Jace let out a sigh of relief and Alec felt like doing the same. He couldn't tell Jace the real reason he was so winded was because he ran here from the subway and had to climb back into his window.

"Wait. You're hot? In here? Alec, it's freezing in here."

Alec blinked. Damn his inability to lie well.

"I guess . . . I guess I'm getting sick or something." Alec replied, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck.

Jace was smart. Too smart, Alec thought sometimes, and the look Jace regarded him with told him he wasn't buying his story for a second.

But to Alec' surprise, he just replied with: "So do you not want to go for a run? Get some rest?"

Alec knew that it would be in his own best interest to say yes, he did want to skip out on their run today and just get some rest. It would make his lie more legitimate and he was still exhausted from his night with Magnus. But this was Jace and as much as he tried to hide his disappointment, Alec knew that these weekend runs were practically a necessity to Jace. He felt bad enough lying to his brother, he couldn't disappoint him too.

"No. I think a run might actually do me some good. Fresh air, right?" Alec answered.

Jace smirked and clapped him on the back.

"Well then get dressed, we're already late."

/

Alec was sweaty and panting heavily at the end of their run. Jace had finished about three minutes before Alec did (Jace always won) and was sitting on a bench, looking just as sweaty but smirking as Alec collapsed down next to him.

No words were necessary to pass between them as Jace handed Alec his water bottle, which he accepted gratefully.

"I have to say, you have got to be coming down with something. You sucked today, more so than usual," Jace teased as Alec took a large sip of his water.

Alec just glared at him, but was too exhausted to (and honestly he was never great in a battle of words) retort.

"Shut up," was his brilliant reply.

Jace just snorted, getting up to stand and do his cool down stretches and after a moment Alec joined him.

"So is that what was wrong with you last night?" Jace asked, as he stretched out his arms.

"Huh?"

"I hung out with some of the guys last night. Jordan said he knocked on your door but you didn't answer. He thought you were already asleep or something."

"Oh um," Alec scrunched his brow, bending down to stretch his legs, "I guess I was. I didn't hear anything."

Jace just hummed in reply.

"So what'd you guys do?" Alec asked, hoping to change the subject from himself to Jace. Jace was Jace's own favorite subject after all.

Jace shrugged, now down with his stretches and waiting on Alec.

"Just hung out in the woods, talked about girls, you know- the usual."

Alec nodded, as if the usual for him was talking about girls (ha). He made to stand as well and as he did he caught a look in Jace's eyes. It was just there for a second, and it almost looked like Jace was hurt. It was there too fast to really know, but Alec's stomach still twisted with guilt.

"Have you talked to Iz?" Alec asked, after a few minutes of silence. They were making their way back to the dorms now, Jace with his hands in his pockets, staring at the dewy grass as if it had all of the answers to life's many questions.

Jace glanced up at the question.

"I wouldn't dare talk to Isabelle this early in the morning; I do value my life you know."

Alec chuckled, opening and holding the front entrance to the dorms' lobby, letting himself and Jace in. The cool air of the lobby was more than welcome as he still felt on the verge of passing out. Not getting enough sleep and then running five miles would do that to a person.

"Besides," Jace, who was a few steps ahead of Alec, turned to look at him, "you two talk to each other more than you talk to me."

Alec felt taken aback. Where the hell had that come from?

"Jace, do you realize how many parties I've had to go to and take the two of you home because you were both so wasted? Or how many times after a game I'd eat dinner by myself because you two couldn't wait on me and so you guys ate without me?"

Jace shrugged, and there was a dull look in his eyes as if he was already resigned from this conversation.

"I guess about as many conversations between the two of you I've walked in on that suddenly become silent when you see me," Jace replied.

There was no anger in his voice. That just made it that much worse to Alec, that Jace just saw this as a simple statement of truth. Alec stood, momentarily frozen as Jace continued to walk on.

"Jace," Alec shouted, walking quickly to catch up with his younger brother. Finally catching up with Jace, who didn't even bother to slow down, Alec grabbed his shoulder and whirled him around.

"You don't feel that way do you?"

"Feel what way?"

"You don't think Iz and I leave you out or something. You're our brother Jace; we wouldn't do that to you."

Jace just stared at Alec, an almost disbelieving look on his face.

"Look, you and I we were out together. We talk about sports and how much we hate the stupid family business. You and Iz, you two do stupid shit together that I would never even think of doing. Iz and I, we just talk sometimes. It doesn't mean anything."

"What do you two talk about?"

"What?"

Jace glared, jerking his shoulder and Alec dropped his hand back down to his side.

"When we hang out, we talk about sports and the family business. Two topics Iz couldn't give two shits about. When I hang out with Izzy, we do fun these you're too much of a stick in the mud to do. What is it you two talk about that you don't think I'm not interested in?"

Alec's mouth hung open, and then he closed it, only to once again open and close it. He didn't know how to answer that and Jace just looked so . . . hurt at the moment that Alec felt hurt as well.

"Nothing," Alec finally managed.

Jace's shoulders fell and if it was possible he looked even more hurt.

"Nothing? That's what you two can't talk to me about?"

When Alec said nothing in return Jace just shook his head, exasperated, and once again turned to walk away.

"Jace!"

Jace turned, and the hurt look on his face was replaced with a look of anger. Which in Alec's opinion was better, anger he could deal with, making people mad wasn't so bad . . . but hurting people? Especially people he cared about? Alec couldn't deal with that. And he knew if he kept this from Jace any longer it would only lead to more hurt.

"Can we talk? In my room?"

When Jace just continued to just glare Alec added: "Please?"

And with that, Jace gave a terse nod and followed Alec into his room.

Once in his room Alec quickly shut the door, as if the two people lingering in the hallway were dying to eavesdrop on their conversation. Jace, still silent (a rarity for him) and brooding (not so rare), just sat on the edge of Alec's bed staring him down.

Alec took a deep breath unsure of how to say this, unsure of how his brother, his best friend, would react. He closed his eyes for just a second trying to collect himself. In his mind he heard and saw Magnus. He saw how happy Magnus would be that another person, someone so important to Alec, would know about them. With that image in his mind, Alec opened his eyes.

"Jace, I'm gay."