Chapter 23

Maura had been gone only a matter of minutes and Jane was already fidgeting. The wait was going to be excruciating. She started to scroll through messages on her phone but that didn't take long. She pulled up a few websites but not even ESPN could hold her attention. Her eyes darted to the elevator doors every time she saw or heard anything. Jane was naturally an impatient person but she felt like this was complete torture. She just wanted to be there to support her friend. She felt helpless sitting in a lobby.

She had started to absentmindedly rub the scar on her left hand when she heard Charlie.

"Ah, welcome back Mrs. Isles. Let me get that door for you."

Jane's eyes darted up immediately and she caught sight of Constance slowly making her way into the lobby. Even from afar Jane could tell that her recovery had been going well. Her hair had grown back in and there wasn't much trace of any scarring around her head. She was her usual high society fashioned self in an elegant black suit. She walked slowly with a slight limp and used a cane but wasn't completely dependent upon it to move about. She had made considerable strides with her rehab and Jane assumed that her time in Florida had been well spent.

Maura! Jane immediately panicked. She didn't know if she should let Maura take on both parents at once or intervene with Constance. Maura had gone upstairs expecting only Phillip and Jane didn't know if she was ready to confront Constance to. Jane had about ten seconds to make a decision. So she made one.

Constance, for her part, was completely shocked to see Jane walk out from around the corner in the lobby.

"Jane?"

"Good afternoon Constance. You are looking well." It was a strained greeting. Jane didn't know what, if anything, Constance knew about what Phillip had done to Maura but she was bitter none the less.

"Thank you. I'm doing much better. What are you doing here?"

Jane twisted her body and pointed to the elevators, "Maura is up speaking with your husband."

"Maura's here? In New York?" And she smiled. A smile Jane would expect to see on Angela's face if Jane had made an unexpected visit to see her. Maybe she has no idea what is going on after all.

"Yes. In New York and upstairs right now. I'm just waiting for her."

"Why are you waiting down here? Good Heavens where are her manners? She should have invited you up," she said and started to make a move for the elevators.

"Maura and your husband needed to speak in private. I'm giving her the space she needs."

"Private? Why? Is something wrong? Has something happened to her?" Panic and concern was etched all across Constance's face. Jane immediately felt guilty for her bluntness.

"Can we sit and talk for a minute? I mean, come on, standing can't be much of a picnic for you right now." Jane motioned to the sitting area she had previously occupied. "I really need to speak with you."

"Well, yes. I should probably sit down. I can get around pretty well but I do tire out easily." She slowly followed Jane to the chairs and sat down. "Now, what's this all about? I know you called me last week and I'm sorry I haven't managed to return the call. But with leaving Florida and trying to get settled back in here I haven't had a minute to myself. Is something wrong?"

"Do you have any idea why Maura is here? "

"In New York? Or speaking to her father?"

"Well, either."

"No. I would assume she is on a vacation. Maybe she came to check up on me?"

Jane shook her head. "I assure you Constance, this is not a vacation."

"Jane, now you are scaring me. Tell what is going on with my daughter," her tone getting more forceful.

"I'll tell you what is going on with your daughter if you can explain to me what the hell is going with your husband." It was out before Jane could stop it. And interestingly enough, she didn't even feel bad about it. Damn it she wanted answers.

Constance was taken aback. "I don't know what you are talking about. What do you mean what is going with Phillip? I think you owe me an explanation Detective."

"The only explanation that is needed here Constance is how your husband could be so cruel and insensitive as to attempt to throw Maura out of both his life and yours. She's devastated! Your husband is trying to disown her. Why would he do such a thing?" Jane didn't even notice the tears starting to fall down her cheeks. "How could he hurt her like this?"

"What?" Constance stared at Jane with disbelief. "He….," she started to shake her head. "He…," She tried to collect herself. "Oh my God! Maura!" Tears filled in her eyes and she reached forward and took Jane's hands. This startled Jane as usually no one but Maura or her mother could touch her hands. "I didn't….this wasn't…I would never….." She just couldn't finish a sentence.

Suddenly, she grabbed Jane and pulled her upright. "Come on." And she moved faster than Jane thought possible given her injuries. But they were in the elevator in no time flat.

Upstairs, Phillip had opened the door and been greeted by a mad but in control Maura. As soon as he had opened the door she had pushed straight passed him and walked into the living room.

"Maura, I don't want to see you. Please leave."

"Oh, I'll leave once I've had my say. You had your turn in Boston. Now it's my turn. And you will listen to me. You owe me that much. I'll say my peace and then I'll leave but you will listen." It was an even, confident, controlled tone. One she reserved for more professional situations than in her personal life.

It had its desired effect. Phillip looked a bit stunned but made no indication of walking away. Apparently he was at least going to hear her out.

"How dare you do this to me! How dare you dismiss me like you tried to do! What gives you the right?"

Phillip went to say something but Maura held up her hand.

"Just shut up! I'm not finished talking yet. My whole life I have tried to earn your love. I have tried to live up to what I thought was your image of the perfect daughter. I bent over backwards trying to make you proud of me because I foolishly figured that if you were proud of the person I was becoming that you would eventually love me. Truly love me.

"But you, you aren't capable of love. Are you? You don't love me. I don't even think you love Mother. You, you love yourself. You love your life, your career, your precious reputation. The people in your life don't mean anything to you unless they further your needs or your position or your power. All these years I've wasted yearning to get from you something that was never there to begin with.

"I was just never good enough for you. Because I wasn't yours. I was someone else's. It wouldn't ever really matter who the biological parents had turned out to be. I could have been born from Saints and it still wouldn't have been good enough for you. You never wanted me. You wanted a nice Isles family Christmas card so others could see how fulfilled your life was.

"But it was all a lie. An illusion. Your life isn't fulfilled. Your life is empty because it is missing love. And not because people haven't tried to love you. Because we have tried. I have tried. Your life is empty because you refused to let our love, my love, in and I feel sorry for you.

"My life isn't perfect. Things in my life are messy and confusing and incomplete. But all of this, what you tried to do, did make me realize something. I realized that I'm already so far ahead of most people because I got lucky. I found a family of my own. I found a group of people that chose to care about me and for me not because it elevated them in society but because they just liked me.

"They took me in and showed me what family really means. Love, acceptance, forgiveness. That's family. And I have one. But it's not with you. So, your attempt to take my family away from me, well it isn't going to work. I never had it from you in the first place. I can't lose what I never had with you. So, keep it. I'll take the one I have now and I'll be the better for it.

"I'm sorry I never lived up to what you pictured. I'm sorry you spent years feeling like you had to give excuses for me and the choices that I made. But I'm not sorry for how I turned out. I'm proud of who I am and what I do. I am sorry you are unwilling to be a part of it. But that's your choice.

"But you have to know that you didn't live up to your end of the deal either. You were not the father you wanted to be. You weren't the father I needed you to be. You were not that perfect parent that your friends could be jealous of. In fact, I'm not even sure of what kind of man you turned out to be…."

"That's an interesting point and I think I'd like an answer to that as well, Phillip. Just what kind of man deliberately tries to hurt his own child?"

Maura spun around to see Constance and Jane standing in the doorway.

Constance stared at Phillip, waiting for an answer with a look of disgust on her face. Jane stared at Maura with a look of pride Maura had never seen from Jane before.