The Cold Light of Reason

((Post-series future fic; some angst - Rating: T; Words: 1060))

A/N: I'm not even sure how I wrote this fic; it makes sense to me and yet it doesn't. It's not my best but here it is. Reviews = love!

Every now and then, I hear the cold light of reason

Firing like guns from the east.

But the end of the night, is it wrong or it's right?

Oh, we'll wait and we'll see

But I don't want to talk – so keep to yourself

No I don't want to talk – so keep to yourself

- "Give It Time" by The Mynabirds

.

Mindy stretches as she watches the silhouetted figure move quietly around the room.

They keep doing this and it makes no sense, no matter how wrong and how right, how good, it always ends up feeling. But it's becoming tainted with all the things that they were never supposed to feel; that Mindy never wanted to feel for Drake.

It started with a random run-in outside of the club Drake had just performed at. She had been a little tipsy and he was still riding the rush from being on stage and the applause. Her shimmery gold skirt had sparkled under the streetlight and Drake was easily distracted by shiny objects; in the green room, he whispered in her ear that he had always liked "pretty things" as her fingertips had pressed into his shoulder blades.

It should have been only one-time and, for months, it was until Josh's engagement party. It had still nicked Mindy's heart to see her first love so giddily in love and with someone else, but she was truly happy for him.

Drake was there, flirting with all the bride-to-be's friends. Their eyes had met and she was hit with the memories of their encounter and she'd felt herself getting flushed, her mouth growing dry. He had flashed a devious grin at her as he continued charming the women surrounding him, moving his eyes from hers towards the ceiling before meeting hers again. Mindy had nodded her head ever so slightly. She could see the smugness in his eyes before he turned his attention back to the group in front of him for about another minute before he excused himself and headed towards the stairs.

Mindy had wrapped up her conversation with Craig and Eric, and she made her way up the stairs. Drake was leaning against the wall next to the bathroom and it was probably for the best that they didn't allow the dirty little secret that was blooming between them to sprout roots in the room he once shared with Josh. Mindy barely looked at him before continuing into the bathroom; he followed her in, closing and locking the door behind him.

"We shouldn't be doing this," Mindy protested lamely as she allowed Drake's lips to move along her jaw and down her neck as he backed back her against the counter.

He had stopped and frowned, his fingers toying with the hem of her skirt. "It's just sex."

She had opened her mouth and all she could do was take in air when she finally looked into his eyes again and saw nothing but pure lust as she felt his fingertips moving up her thighs as he slowly inched her skirt higher.

"Just sex?" She couldn't stand for it to be anything else. She couldn't handle it. Not with everything that laid between them.

"Just sex."

After that, it became a pattern. Every so often he'd text her asking if he could come over to her place. They would exchange a few words and then they would shed their clothes before landing on Mindy's bed. Their lips always managed to avoid landing on each other's despite touching nearly every other spot on each other's body.

It had been going on for over a year when during those first several minutes of basking in the afterglow, Drake still in the bed with her, not quite cuddling, that Mindy realized that she wanted more than what they were. She felt her heart aching as her eyelids grew heavy because she knew that Drake would be gone when she awoke. He always stayed just long enough for her to fall asleep before he'd slip away, disappearing until he found himself wanting her again.

He always waited for her to fall asleep so that they didn't have to talk. It's easier if they don't have to acknowledge what they've just done. To say goodbye or goodnight might attach strings or, even worse, chains of emotions and that would mean that they would have to address the unspoken feelings that should never exist between them.

Mindy hates that she wants nothing more than for him to crawl back into her and stay the night. She hates that he can tear himself away so easily. She knows that she should end things because she's starting to care for him and it was never supposed to be about that. But they don't talk and Drake feels so good and maybe she can try to pretend that this enough. So, she allows him to continue using her as she uses him less and less.

She props herself up on her elbow as Drake steps into his jeans and pulls them up. Hearing her stirring, Drake turns to look at her. When he sees that she's awake, he looks like a deer caught in the headlights for a couple of seconds. He's never been caught sneaking out before; he's too good at it.

Drake can't quite recall ever seeing Mindy look vulnerable but it's how she looks now, the light from the moon and stars casting a soft glow about the room. She also looks a little pissed. And, suddenly, Drake knows.

He sighs, shaking his head. Time to make a clean break. "It's just sex, Mindy. That's what you wanted. It's why this works."

"I know." She sits up, not meeting his eyes, tucking the sheet under her arms.

"It can't—we can't be more than that."

"I know," she says firmly, looking at him.

He takes a deep breath. "So, I guess this is it then, huh?"

"That would probably be best."

Drake nods and drapes his shirt over his arm. He walks over to the bed and leans down, intending to give her a goodbye kiss. It starts soft and sweet unlike everything that they have never been with each other and Drake places a hand on the mattress as he presses his lips more forcefully against hers. He ends up back on the bed and Mindy's pushing his pants back down over his hips.

"One last time?"

"One last time."

A proper goodbye.

Drake wakes in Mindy's bed, alone, the sun shining. He's not so much disappointed that he's still in her bed as he is that she's not still in it with him.

Fuck.

This must be how she feels.

And now he's emotionally involved.

.

*** Finis ***