A/N I continue to be humbled by the response to this story. I can't thank you all enough for the positive feedback. I will absolutely continue to explore Jane and Maura's relationship but I am attempting to do that within the context of several other open issues in the lives of these ladies. I want to do things right- which by now you all should have figured out that means it slowly. But, I do update daily so that should buy me some forgiveness. As for this chapter- well it chapter runs a little long but there were things I felt needed to be said. Enjoy.

Chapter 28

Maura and Constance both got cleaned up and were close to heading out to go shopping. Jane lingered in the bedroom while Maura was finishing up the final touches with her makeup.

"You can come with us Jane," she said with a wicked smile knowing the absolute last thing Jane wanted to do was spend the afternoon shopping.

"Oh no! Not a chance." Jane, too, had a smile on her face as she knew Maura was only teasing. "Seriously though, you should have a good day with your mother. I think there are things you both still need to talk about and she may speak more freely if I wasn't a tag-along."

"You may be right about that. She hasn't really said much about how that conversation went after we left last night," the concern for Constance was immediately heard in Maura's tone.

"She'll fill you in if she wants to talk about it. Just be there for her. That's all you can do at this point."

Maura walked out of the bathroom. "I suppose you are right. She's had to deal with so much lately I feel terrible that this has been thrown at her."

"Just remember something. You didn't cause any of this. Both of you have been hurt by Phillip. Being there for each other will only make your relationship stronger." Jane wrapped her arms around Maura and placed a tender kiss at the crown of her forehead.

Maura sighed and hugged Jane back. The comfort she felt from Jane's embrace was so powerful. Jane's arms around her made her feel so protect and secure. She lingered in the warmth of Jane's touch as long as she could before finally pulling back. "Speaking of conversations, you do know that at some point we need to talk about us."

"Yes. Yes we do. I'm not trying to avoid that conversation Maura. Don't worry about that. But, we need a chance to talk without getting interrupted. Your mother being here has interruption written all over it. So, go be with her and we will talk when the time is truly right."

Maura thought about this and conceded that Jane was right. Theirs was liable to be a long conversation that she didn't want to be interrupted. "What will you do today?"

"Like I said, I will handle our return arrangements if you are sure that you want to go home tomorrow."

"I'm sure. It's time to go home."

"Fine, then let me handle that and then I may just take a walk around the park. We can have dinner with your mother after you two have bought out half the city."

"Alright," Maura leaned in and kissed Jane lightly. "Last chance to join us."

"No chance in hell. Now go."

Maura skirted out the door and found her mother ready and waiting. "Shall we?" she asked Constance.

"We shall," she returned with a smile.

"Jane we should be back by 5. I'll text you if something changes."

Jane nodded. "Have fun you two."

Maura and Constance rode down the elevator. They headed for the front door and were greeted by Jeffrey. "Good morning, Dr. Isles. Mrs. Isles. Lovely day today, isn't it?"

"Good morning Jeffrey," acknowledged Maura.

"Can I get a cab for you ladies?"

"Actually, yes you can."

Jeffrey rushed to the street and flagged down a cab. He held the door open for both Maura and Constance and wished them a good afternoon before closing the door.

"Where to ladies?" asked the cabbie.

"Henri Bendel," answered Constance. She caught sight of Maura's approving smile. "Or did you want to start at Bergdorf's first?"

"Henri Bendel is fine."

The cabbie must have heard Maura's agreement for he pulled out into traffic. The ladies settled into the cab. "I'm really happy we can spend today together. I'm just sorry about the circumstances that brought us together," Maura interjected after a few blocks of silence.

"I know Maura. I'm glad we are getting a chance for some time alone too. As for the circumstances, they are rather unfortunate. "Constance looked out the window for a minute. "Maura, can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"You mentioned something this morning, that you 'ran' and Jane had to follow you. Did you really run away?"

Maura winced a little. Her mother had cut right to the chase. "When…Phillip…confronted me a few weeks ago I was blindsided. I wasn't ready for that kind of confrontation. The finality of his tone and his decision just shook me. I tried to go on as if everything was fine but that was getting harder and harder. I found myself hiding from Jane and her family. When she tried to confront me about why, I took off. So yes, I ran away."

Constance looked at Maura and could still see deep pain in her eyes. "Why were you hiding from the people that care for you? That's a part of this that I don't understand."

"Jane didn't understand it either. It's been hard for me to properly explain what happened and what I was feeling. I'm not sure I can even with you. Over the past few months things for me have been emotionally taxing and when Phillip announced he was through with me, something inside me just broke."

"Maura, what has been happening with you lately? I mean, what Phillip did was absolutely wrong but it feels like I don't know some of the background here. Can you tell me? I don't want to upset you but I feel like I have an incomplete picture."

Maura released a slow breath. Her mother knew some things but not everything. They didn't have the type of relationship to this point where they told each other everything that was happening in their lives. In some ways, they were strangers. Maura had never thought to confide in Constance about personal issues. Recently, her mother had made strides to become more involved in Maura's day to day life but there was so much that the two hadn't ever shared she wondered if now was the right time to start.

Maura decided to try. If they were going to move forward and have a closer relationship she was going to have to start opening up to her mother. "There was a combination of several issues honestly. Some you know about and some you don't. I don't want to hurt you either. Are you sure you want to hear all of this?" It was a warning Maura felt she needed to offer Constance.

"Honey, I have not had the greatest track record for being there for you in the past. But, I want that to change. I've been trying to be a better mother to you. I want to know anything you feel comfortable telling me. Nothing you can tell me will make me love you any less. And if you don't feel like you can confide in me, I can't say that I blame you. If that is the case I just pray you will give me the chance to earn your trust going forward."

The sincerity behind Constance's words made Maura tear up. She really did want a more open, trusting relationship with her mother. She wanted to tell her mother things. Maura had spent so much of her life tackling issues and problems alone it was never her first instinct to discuss things with anyone. After she met Jane that got a little better but she still processed most everything internally. It was always a comfort knowing she could talk to Jane. That probably had been the greatest gift Jane's friendship had brought her.

Eventually, she knew she knew she could talk to Angela too. But, sitting in that cab, she found herself wanting to add her mother to that list. She needed to have at least part of her family, the family that existed before she ever knew any Rizzoli, available and open to her.

"I, too, want to change our relationship. I want so much to confide in you. To seek your advice. To just know that I have you on my side," she said as she let a few tears run down her cheeks. "I want that so badly."

"I'm right here, Maura. You do have me. Maybe it is time that we talk. Really talk."

Maura nodded, "I'd like to try."

Constance reached over and wiped away the few remaining tears from Maura's cheeks. She turned her attention to the cab driver and spoke, "I'm sorry, we are changing our destination. E 72nd St and 5th Ave, please."

The cabbie nodded and made a lane change. Maura looked at her mother with a little surprise. "Shopping will have to keep. This is more important and I just want to sit and talk for awhile." Maura just nodded again.

The cab arrived at one of the entrances to the Central Park and both got out after Constance paid the fare. They walked into the park and found a spot near Bethesda Terrace to sit down and talk. Once settled, Constance took Maura's hand into hers. "Now, talk to me about what has been happening with you."

Maura nodded and began. She started explaining about how she had discovered who her biological father was. She explained about Colin and Doyle cutting himself to give her the needed DNA to confirm she was his daughter. She told Constance about being kidnapped by Doyle and given the cell phone. She told her about Tommy O'Rourke. How she felt responsible for his death. How she was sure Jane had made the call. How guilty she felt that she had been the reason Jane, or someone, had compromised their integrity to tip off a killer. How she had nightmares still about O'Rourke's death.

She went on. She explained her fear of turning out to be like Doyle. Ruthless and cold. That somehow she would never be able to have anyone love her because of who she was. That she was afraid that Doyle's DNA wasn't ultimately going to make her a killer but it would render her unlovable.

She talked about her search for Hope. She apologized for wanting to find her biological mother but explained that she needed to find that last piece of the puzzle. That maybe knowing her biological mother would somehow counteract her beliefs about Doyle and what he meant for her life. She told Constance about how she found Hope and tried not to let her know she was her child. She talked about discovering she had another half sibling. She told her mother about the discovery of her sister's illness and her attempt to donate one of her own kidneys. And she talked about how both Caitlyn and Hope had rejected her and how she again felt that it was because of Doyle and evidence of a pattern of her ultimately being doomed to a life alone.

She then spoke about how guilty she felt about Constance's accident. That she hadn't been the target and it should have been Maura that was hit by the firefighter Maura had discovered was an arsonist. She talked of how she felt seeing her mother laying in the hospital bed clinging to life and again feeling as if it was her fault. That anyone who was a part of her life was doomed and destined to be hurt. How Constance would have been better off not having Maura in her life.

She explained the fight she had with Jane about shooting Doyle. How she had over-reacted and almost lost her best friend. How she had increasingly felt that maybe she belonged tied to Doyle and all the evil he stood for since she did nothing to hurt or drive away anyone good in her life. That maybe she deserved to be alone and miserable. That maybe that was her fate.

"So when Phillip came to me and rejected me, it was like it was the last piece of evidence my mind needed to prove the theory."

"And that theory being?"

"That I was never meant to have love or be loved."

Constance had listened to Maura. Really listened. She had interjected a few times especially to point out where Maura's thinking was wrong. But mostly she listened. The pain behind Maura's words broke Constance's heart. She felt guilty for being a source of some of her daughter's pain. But she felt worse for making her daughter feel alone for too long in her life. A mother's job is to protect her child and Constance had not lived up to that responsibility. The consequences were devastating and sitting right in front of her.

"Oh Maura. Is that how you really feel?"

Maura slowly nodded. "At times, yes."

"Listen to me. You are not fated to be without love. Quite the contrary I would say. You have earned the right to love and be loved. You prove that every single day. You've been through so much and you have gone through most of it alone. That, my dear, says more about the people who failed you than about yourself. We all failed you. It's never been the other way around.

"It was my job to raise you. Support and love you. And I did. But in a way that suited me and my life style. Not in the way that you deserved. You should have been showered with affection every day of your life. I'll regret that for the rest of my life. No words now can change the past. I hope one day you will forgive me for failing you.

"One of the truly sad parts is that I stood by and let you push yourself away from people and emotions. I watched you retreat into a world of science and facts in order to avoid the emotional world that had so disappointed and failed you. And I let that happen. It seemed easier at the time. And it was a selfish thing to allow. I should have pulled you back into the world and been the mother you deserved.

"And then you met Jane and I saw you, for the first time really, start to step out into the world you had retreated from and start to accept friendship and love. I was so happy when she came into your life. I started to see you change and become more outgoing. You handled situations and people better and I knew it was because of Jane. She was really the first person you let get close to you. She did all the things for you I should have done years before.

"I was so thankful that she opened her heart and her family to you. It made me feel better that Angela was there for you when I hadn't been. That they all had accepted you and that you found a way to accept the love they so wanted to give you. I thought you were finally getting the family you deserved and the one that you should have had all along.

"I was so impressed by Jane when she first confronted me about how I had treated you. I saw nothing but love and devotion in her that night and was grateful that you had someone in your life that would love and protect you. I knew it had been missing from your life for too long. So you see you weren't fated to be alone. You were just fated to have better people in your life than what you were originally given.

"Never let yourself doubt that you deserve to be loved. You've deserved better than you have received for far too many years. The love you have in your life you have earned. Don't away run from it for fear of it hurting you again. It won't be like that this time. She loves you. Don't run away from her because I, and others, have failed you in the past. Jane is where your destiny lies."