Chapter 30

Maura held tight the embrace that she found herself in with her mother. She had just bared her soul to her mother for what had been the first time and she liked the way it felt. There was a comfort between the two she wasn't expecting. It made Maura hopeful for what their relationship could be going forward.

They broke their embrace and both ladies attempted to fix the smeared makeup from their faces. "Aren't we a sight," Constance joked.

"How did you know about Jane?" the curiosity behind Maura's question was obvious. It was just last night that they had kissed for the first time.

"Oh Maura," Constance reached over and held her hand, "you would have to be blind not to see how she looks at you. And you at her. I don't think anyone who has spent more than five minutes with you two hasn't at least wondered if you two were together."

Maura smiled and wondered if it had so damn obvious to everyone else why hadn't anyone bothered to point it out to her. "Does it bother you that I might be involved with a woman?"

"Oh good heavens! No! Maura, I just want you to be happy. All I have ever wanted for you was someone that would love you for who you are and someone you could love just as much. Why would I care about something as silly as that person's gender? Jane loves you. I've seen her protect you and that's all I can ask for you."

Maura let out a sigh of relief. Constance, noticing the look on Maura's face, continued. "What I'm curious about is when did it change for you two? That seems to be recent."

Maura shook her head and wondered if they were that readable. "Very, very recent. Like last night recent."

"Really?"

"Yes," she answered unashamed.

"You both seemed so at ease this morning. Just last night, huh?"

"I swear," Maura insisted.

"Do you love her?"

"Yes. I don't think I can pinpoint the exact moment I went from classifying my feelings for her from the friendship love to a romantic love but somewhere along the way I fell in love with her."

"So what happened last night that made you both take a step forward?"

"I'm not sure. We still need to talk about that. Neither one of us was expecting this to happen. It's new for both of us so I can't really speak for Jane."

"Okay, what made you want to take that step forward?"

"It is more about feelings for me. I think I let myself really feel love for her when I found her down in the lobby waiting for me this week. In that moment, I knew she would always be there for me even when I had tried to run and hide. My heart just opened to her. But I didn't have any idea how she felt about me so I was just going leave it as a friendship. I wasn't going to do anything that would drive her or scare her away. But last night, I don't know. There was a look in her eyes and I just knew we both felt the same way in that moment. And next thing I know, we were kissing for the first time."

Constance smiled. Clearly this was all brand new for both. But she was sure it would be ok. Maura clearly loved Jane and Constance had seen firsthand Jane's devotion to her daughter. "You have time to figure this all out. You've been through a lot lately so some of this may take some time."

"That's what Jane's worried about. She thinks she is taking advantage of my fragile emotional state. I think she wishes we would have figured all of this out before any of this mess with Phillip occurred."

"As long as you two are open and honest with each other about how you feel I can't see anything else making much of a difference."

Maura nodded. They had talked about her long enough. "Now, can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"What's going to happen between you and Phillip?"

Constance could see concern and guilt flash through Maura's expression. "I don't really know yet, to be perfectly honest with you."

"What happened between you two last night after Jane and I left?"

"After you left I stood waiting for your fath….for Phillip… to answer my question. He didn't offer up much of an answer. Or at least an answer that made any sense to me. He told me that he went to Boston and what he said to you. And he told me his reasons behind it.

"What is sad is that I think he believes he is right. I think he thinks that you are in a position to hurt me, him, us. I think he thinks that if he shields me from you, I won't be in any danger or get hurt. What I don't think he realizes is that he hurt me more by what he said to you than anything he thought could have happened to me because of you.

"Maura, he didn't know about Patrick but I did. I always have. Phillip was always under the assumption that you were a private, sealed adoption. So when it came out the Patrick with your biological father and about his ties to the mob, he started to get very concerned about our safety. Somewhere he became convinced that the mob would target me or him to get back at Patrick. He started going with me when I went out and he insisted on knowing where I was at all times. I don't think he ever thought you would hurt us but when it hit the papers I think he panicked.

"And, for all his efforts to try and protect me, I still got hurt. And sadly, he blamed you for it. I think that is what pushed him over the edge. Maura, that accident was not your fault. You weren't the one driving the car and if you remember correctly I pushed you out of the way. I was more at fault for getting hit than you were. But Phillip got very focused in on the fact that the driver was aiming for you. Tie that into his concerns about the mob and that's how he got to where he felt the right thing to do would be to get you out of our life.

"While I get how he arrived at what happened. I don't think I can forgive him for it. Ever. The man I thought I knew would have wanted to figure out a way to protect me AND you. The man I thought I was married to would have strengthened his family, not torn it apart. I don't know the man he is right now. I don't think I want to know the man he is right now.

"He doesn't think he is wrong by disassociating himself with you. Until that changes, if it ever does, I can't have him in my life. I have loved him for more than half my life but this current version of who he is isn't someone I can love. So, officially I would label us as separated."

"I'm sorry. I don't know what to say here really."

"There's nothing for you to say. This is a matter between Phillip and me. Just like how you chose to handle him is between the two of you. I fully understand why you want to walk away and I don't blame you. What he did was wrong and just an added example of someone failing you. He should have tried to protect you. Instead he only managed to hurt you. If you walk away from him, I support that and seeing as you signed the dissolution papers I assume your mind is made up.

"I don't want you to base our relationship on him going forward. No matter what you are my daughter and that can exist independent of Phillip. I don't see our marriage lasting. I really don't. Last night he just utterly refused to believe he was wrong in what he did. If that doesn't change I will file for divorce. And if that does change, I just don't know how I will react. Part of me now knows he is capable of something I never thought he could be and that may have changed us forever, no matter what."

Maura was about to say something when her phone beeped and vibrated.

When are you coming back?

It was Jane. Maura looked at the time and saw that it was later than she thought.

"Jane?" asked Constance with a smile.

"Jane," answered Maura. "We probably should head back. Unless you aren't ready yet."

"No, we can head back. I think we've talked enough for one day. I'm sorry about the shopping."

"Trust me, I was happier just talking. Let's go."

We are heading back now

Good! Do I need to get you a U-Haul for the shopping bags?

Maura smirked at Jane's text.

Not necessary

K. See ya soon

Constance and Maura flagged down a cab and gave the address. "Please consider staying at my place until you figure things out. It's a shame the place doesn't get used more often. Jane and I are leaving tomorrow so you can have the run of the place for as long as you need."

"Thank you. I believe I will take you up on that offer."

They were quiet the rest of the cab ride back both processing what the other had said. As they entered Maura's suite, they were quickly overcome by a heavenly aroma. The entire suite smelled of garlic and herbs mixed with a sweet cinnamon smell Maura could vaguely detect. It put a smile on both their faces as neither had bothered to suggest eating lunch. Maura was immediately grateful that Jane was preparing dinner.

"Jane?" shouted Maura.

Jane rounded the corner. "Welcome back." She looked suddenly confused when she didn't see bags or parcels in the hands of either Maura or Constance. "What, did you buy so much they had to resort to shipping it to you? Or should I go down and help poor Jeffrey build a tower of greed on one of the bellman carts?"

"Actually, I'll have you know we are purchase free." Maura gave a look to Jane not to push.

"Oh," Jane said reading Maura's face. Apparently she would explain later. "Well, can I at least get you both a glass of wine?"

"That would be fabulous. What is that wonderful aroma?" Constance asked.

"I thought we would all enjoy a night in instead going out for dinner. So, I cooked. I hope you don't mind. We are having chicken scaloppini with a lemon glaze, rice pilaf and asparagus. Oh, and Zabaglione for dessert. Dinner should be ready in about fifteen minutes."

Jane retreated into the kitchen to start a glass of wine for both Maura and Constance. As Maura made her way further into the suite she entered the dining room. Her breath was taken away when she saw Jane had set the dining room table for three. Candles were lit and the place settings even had all the extra silverware Jane always complained about not understanding the need. The room was picture perfect.

She walked back into the kitchen and scooted up behind Jane placing her arms around her waist while resting her chin on Jane's shoulder. She lightly kissed the base of Jane's neck. "Thank you," she whispered.

Jane caressed Maura's arms and leaned back into the hug. "Anytime." She pivoted around still in Maura's loose embrace. She leaned in pressing her lips against Maura's. The tenderness of the kiss made both of them weak in the knees. "Dinner in fifteen."