Chapter 33

Maura entered the kitchen and knew immediately that she had interrupted a conversation. Both her mother and Jane looked like they had just gotten caught with their hands in a cookie jar. She was about to ask but decided against it for the moment. Neither looked like it was a bad conversation so she made a note to just ask Jane later.

"How was your run?" Jane asked wanting to keep Maura from asking what they had been talking about. Two Isles and one Rizzoli meant Jane was outnumbered in the kitchen and she didn't want to have anything to do with a heart to heart at that moment.

"Exhilarating. I've been so out of a normal exercise routine that I really needed it this morning. It will be nice to return to a normal routine when we get back."

"Yeah, our routines have been just a bit off lately. I haven't worked out in a week. I'm going to pay the price for that the first time I hit the gym."

Maura entered the kitchen fully and made her way towards the coffee smiling at the waiting coffee cup. She poured herself a cup and let her eyes glance between Jane and her mother. Whatever the topic of conversation was that moment had clearly passed and neither seemed willing to take charge of a new conversation.

"I need to get cleaned up and pack," she announced as she headed for the bedroom. Constance and Jane stayed in the kitchen. As Maura left she caught a glimpse of a smile exchanged between them and it peaked her curiosity. She would definitely need to ask Jane about what they had been chatting about.

She entered the bathroom and started the water for her shower. She let the water run for a moment and started laying out her clothes to get ready to pack. She showered relatively quickly, or at least quicker than normal. She wrapped her hair up in a towel and wrapped another around herself and walked into the bedroom. She was riffling through a pile of clothes on the bed when Jane entered the bedroom without knocking.

The sight of Maura wrapped in just a towel caused a catch in Jane's breath. She tried to remember if this was something she had ever seen before but couldn't seem to get her brain to work quite right. Although she felt convinced that if she had been such a sight, really seen it, she definitely would have remembered. No, this was new or at least different given the evolution of their relationship. She suddenly realized that she was staring, if not gawking, at Maura. Smooth Rizzoli, real smooth she berated herself. She knew she face was flushed.

"Hey Maura, sorry I probably should have knocked. I just wanted to know if you would like any breakfast."

"You don't need to knock Jane," Maura answered with a smile on her face. She liked the feel of Jane's stare. It gave her goose bumps. Things were definitely changing between the two of them. "I was just going to have a bagel for breakfast," she said taking notice of a very blushing Jane. She was going to have to remember that Jane wasn't as at ease with nudity as she was. She had spent her youth in an all girl boarding school while Jane had two younger brothers in her house. Clearly they were on different comfort levels.

"OK. Sure. Bagel. I'll get that for you," she stammered and backed out of the room closing the door. She leaned up against the door after she closed it to compose herself. She knew it was silly to suddenly be nervous. It was just Maura. Maura naked under that towel but still just Maura. Suddenly the idea of seeing Maura naked aroused something in her. As she tried to picture it the reality hit her that she was attempting to picture what her best friend looked like without apparel and was surprised that it was starting to feel natural. They still needed to discuss all of this and she would need to get through that conversation without becoming a stuttering idiot but it was a conversation she was starting to look forward to having. Pulling herself off from the door, she went to get Maura that bagel.

Maura finished getting ready and tackled the packing. It hadn't been as difficult as it would have been if she had indulged in any type of shopping whatsoever. Having avoided that activity this trip made the chore manageable in just a few minutes. She looked around the room and was satisfied that she wasn't leaving anything behind. She hoped her mother would move her belongings into the master bedroom after they left. The room was bigger and had the master bath.

And then it was time to head out. Jane took Maura's bags along with hers down to the lobby allowing her to have a moment alone with her mother.

"Will you be alright?" Maura asked.

"Yes, darling. Don't worry about me. Will you?"

"I think so. I'm settled on the topic of Phillip."

"And Jane?"

"That is something I believe we are both just going to have to take one step at a time."

They embraced. "You are welcome in Boston."

"I know. But I have to handle things here. I will call you though."

And with a kiss on the cheeks, Maura headed out to join Jane. She made her way to the lobby and found Jane had secured a cab and all the bags were stowed. They both entered the cab and Jane directed the cabbie to Penn Station.

"You ready?"

"Yes. Yes I am," Maura answered and laced her fingers into Jane's hand.

The next thirty minutes were filled with cabs, train stations and getting themselves situated in their seats on the train. Maura was glad Jane had managed First Class seats on the train. It gave them more room and afforded them some privacy. They both knew that they needed to start talking about their relationship and Maura had wanted to try to at least move one step forward before they pulled into Boston. She let all the train passengers get settled and waited for the train to pull away from the station before she started the conversation with Jane.

"What were you and my mother discussing this morning when I walked in on you both?" she asked with curiosity.

"Your mother was explaining that I make you happy," she said with a smile.

"Oh really?"

"Apparently," she said. "Oh and she said that we both love each other."

"She said that?"

"That and I'm pretty sure I was given permission to date you although I don't recall asking her for that. Did I need to ask? Is that customary?" she asked but smiled the entire time so Maura would know she was kidding.

"No Jane, you aren't required to get my mother's permission to date me." She was suddenly a little nervous. "Are you mad that she knows about us?"

"What? No!" It was an emphatic answer.

"I wasn't going to tell her right away. I mean we don't even really know what this is, but she guessed there was a change between us and I did confirm it."

"Maura, she's your mother. I don't care if you talk to her about us. I must admit it took me by surprise when she said something this morning. For the record I need to be commended for not spitting coffee all over her."

Maura chuckled as the image of that crossed her mind. "I am sorry Jane. Maybe I should have warned you that we had talked."

"Maybe, but don't worry about it. Anyway, according to her, you can't do better than me so I guess it was the not spitting on her that won her over. You may be stuck with me now."

Maura squeezed her hand. "I would never consider myself just stuck with you."

"Can it be that easy? Can it be as simple as just deciding to date and then date?" Jane asked already knowing the answer would not be a yes.

"No, I don't think it's that simple," Maura said. "I think it's complicated. I don't know if there is an easy answer here. I don't' know if we can just decide to be a couple and then be one."

"Is that what you want? For us to be a couple?"

"Before I answer that can I ask you what scares you the most about where this might be heading?"

"I don't want to lose you as a friend. What if this doesn't work out? What if we try this but it goes wrong or it doesn't last? If that happens can we go back to being just friends? Because I'm not sure about that. I'm not saying that I think things wouldn't work out but if they don't and I lose you as a friend too I think I could regret that for the rest of my life."

"I don't want to lose you as a friend either. The very thought of losing you scares the hell out of me. But I'm not sure I want fear dictating the decisions I make in my life. I have let fear do that to me in the past and I don't want to let that happen here. As scary as taking this, us, to a new level is I think I could regret not trying for the rest of my life."

"So where do we go from here?" Jane asked.

"Do you love me?" fired back Maura for the moment not answering Jane's question.

"Yes."

"Do you think you could be in love with me? Because that is the other thing that I'm worried about. I don't want to confuse loving you with being in love with you," Mauara reached over and took Jane's hand as she spoke.

"I don't want that confusion either. But here is what I know. I know that you are the single most important person in my life. I know that you are the only person outside my family I trust absolutely and without question. I know that I want you in my life. I know that you electrify something within me that I haven't ever let myself feel before. I think I could be falling in love with you.

"I've never been attracted to a woman before so some of this is new to me. As I have thought about this I can't pinpoint that exact moment we went from friends to something more but we did. I think it's been there for a long, long time but neither of us wanted to acknowledge it. Probably out of fear. For me, it was a fear of changing what is the only real comfortable relationship I have in my life.

"But I don't think I can ignore this. What's starting to happen between us feels right to me. I don't regret it and I want it to continue. To grow. I want to let this take us wherever it is meant to go. Mostly I can't imagine that doing anything with you could ever be the wrong thing."

Maura took in all that Jane had just said. She was moved that Jane was talking so openly about her feelings. She knew it was her turn to be as open. "I don't regret kissing you either. And I have never been attracted to a woman either. I admit that my boarding school past has me guilty of some innocent experimentation but I was just a kid and I'm not sure that counts for anything. I have never felt the need to label my sexuality. You feel right to me. This feels right to me. When we kiss it feels like home. It feels safe.

"I want to be with you. I want to explore whatever this is together. I want to be able to hold you in my arms and know that's exactly where you want to be. I want us to move through any of the uncertainty together. I want us to not to be afraid to take this step forward. I want this to continue to feel natural and for us both to trust in each other enough to be certain that this is the right move for us both. I want us to not be afraid to risking our friendship for what I think could be something so much better."

Jane looked at Maura and smiled. She, too, thought things could be better. "I know that I am capable of loving someone and letting someone love me. But it has to be the right someone. The relationships I have tried in the past were all doomed from the start because deep down I knew I wouldn't ever trust any of them enough to let myself love them. But it's different with you. I've trusted you almost from the moment we met and it is because I trust you that I think I could love you and be loved by you."

Maura took a deep breath. Remembering that Jane had asked earlier if it could just be as simple as deciding to go for it, she interjected "So, if we both want this maybe it can be as simple as deciding we can do this. Maybe we don't over think it and just do what feels right. I believe we trust each other enough to be honest with one another. I also think we love each other enough not to hurt each other. So maybe we just do this and decide that we've both earned the right to be happy. Because I really think I could be happy with you."

"I really think I could be happy with you too. Dr. Maura Isles, when we get back to Boston, will you do me the honor of going out on a date with me?"

"Detective Jane Rizzoli, I thought you'd never ask. I would love to go on a date with you."

They looked into each other's eyes and both knew that they were one step closer to something they both wanted.

A/N This story is reaching an end soon. Just a few more chapters as I want to get these ladies all the way back to Boston but then this particular story will end. However, I do plan to continue with a sequel and explore their developing relationship once they get back to their normal every day lives. That's a different dynamic and I think it deserves it its own story. Just thought I'd warn that the end for this story is coming soon. Continued thanks for all the feedback and reviews