Dean and Lizzy left Sam asleep on the couch when they left the house. Maybe it was a bad idea, risking letting an unknowing person wake the hunter later, but it didn't matter. He looks so happy, so calm that neither had it in them to ruin the moment for Sam.
Once Lizzy and Derek were asleep, the two awake babysitters decided to leave for adult Lizzy's sake. They're sitting in their little stolen car, listening to music quietly and waiting for Lou's parents to get back so they can get Sam and drive home. Now out of the house, Lizzy finds it easier to cope with all she just went through and discovered. After she talked to her little self and found out more, Lou's home was suddenly overwhelming to be in. Sitting in the passenger seat, she's finally been able to breathe again.
"Ok," Lizzy speaks up after sitting quietly for some time. She turns down the volume on 'Satisfaction' so they can talk. "Truth… I'm officially scared now."
Dean nods his head. "You and I both."
"This angel thing didn't worry me so much before. It never made me panic or be scared in the least, but now… this is fucking big, Dean."
"I know," he returns, pulling her hand into his lap and clutching it tightly in both of his own.
"This goes back my whole life," Lizzy worries. "I've been followed and looked after. I was told I was important. Cas was…. fuck. What am I going to do?" Lizzy looks at him with scared eyes, making Dean hurt for her completely.
"We," Dean corrects for her, eliciting one very small, almost invisible smile from her.
"What are we going to do?" Lizzy fixes her question.
"Talk to Cas," Dean explains. "I'm getting the feeling he's the only one with answers that's willing to give 'em."
"And until Cas comes for us?" Lizzy further implores.
"We keep following you," Dean tells her straight up. Looking away, Lizzy sighs loudly. "L, I know you don't want to and I know you've already seen and learned way too much, but we have to. You know we do."
"Yeah," Lizzy frustratingly says back. "I just have to wonder how much more I'm supposed to take of this."
"You have backup, L," he reminds her. "We're still with you all the way."
"Thank God… or fuck that, thank luck," Lizzy responds, no longer liking the sound of God's name after all this. "Damn it, Dean, I'm… I'm a freak."
"You're not a freak," Dean tells her sternly, much like he's told Sam several times in the past.
"Yes I am," she returns with certainty. "I can sense angels and I've had one up my ass my whole life. That's pretty freakish to me."
"Still not a freak," Dean repeats, much quieter this time, though deep down he isn't sure that she's not. It just frightens him too much to really consider that the angels might have some kind of hold on her, that they might have a claim to her. "You're still just Lizzy."
"You don't believe that."
Dean lowers her eyebrows and looks at her. "Yes I do."
"No you don't," she matter-of-factly rebuts. "I know for certain you're worried that I might not be just Lizzy. You're scared, Dean. Admit it."
"And once again, you're inside my fucking head."
"I'm always inside your head," Lizzy tells him. "Apparently, even as a kid."
"Ah, yeah. What the fuck was that about?" Dean asks her. "How did you as a kid know about my car and that I like cheeseburgers?"
"Fuck me if I know," Lizzy laments before realizing what she's just said. Dean opens his mouth to make an inappropriate comment but she holds her hand out to stop him. "Don't."
"She… you… called me Dean you know," he informs her. "When kid you said goodnight, she called me Dean. I think she knows who I am."
"My head hurts all over again," Lizzy complains as she drops her head. "So clearly I have some freakish link to both you AND angels. Ha, maybe you're part angel too then."
"Then why can't you read Sam like you can read me?" Dean challenges. "He has the same blood as I do… almost."
"Good point," Lizzy gives in, knowing he's right. "Plus, you'd never be considered an angel… ever."
"Watch it, L," Dean jests lightly with her harmless insult. She's right anyways.
Lizzy leans her head back in her seat frustrated while staring up at the ceiling of the car. "I want to go back," Lizzy says. "I want to just be a hunter again, traveling around, eating shitty food and putting down the ghost of the week."
"Wouldn't that be nice," Dean agrees completely. The simplicity of their old lives sounds great right about now. No angels, no God, no Apocalypse. Just random evil to kill and lives to save. Black and white, clean cut, not messy.
"I'm just really glad I have you with me," she says while looking over at Dean, his green eyes meeting hers. "I really need you right now."
Dean tightens his grip on her hand. Even if she said this kind of thing all the time, he's never once gotten sick of hearing it. It makes him feel good and good isn't something he comes across often. They sit together in silence, appreciating that no matter what they had each other, and wait for Lou and Lizzy's parents to return.
The small weight resting against his chest is lifted off of him gently, waking Sam from his deep and surprisingly peaceful sleep. Normally he'd be in attack mode immediately, but the second he hears her small voice, he knows where he is and that he's very safe.
"Hi daddy," Lou's young, sleepy voice greets as Sam opens his eyes.
"Hey Lou-Lou," Brian softly returns, hoisting her up and onto him as he stands back up. "Go back to sleep, honey."
Lou instantly snuggles into her father, her small arms reaching around his neck and her cheek pressed to his shoulder. Sam misses her already and feels a piece of him is gone the second she's no longer sitting with him. It hurts. A lot.
"Jane has your money," Brian whispers to Sam. "Thanks so much for coming, Sam. Really saved our asses."
"Yeah," Sam responds quietly. "No problem." He can't stop looking at her resting face, so perfect and small, so tranquil and carefree. If he didn't have his wits about him already, he'd be reaching out to take her, wanting his Lou back so badly it aches.
Brian heads up the stairs to put Lou to bed and Sam feels the loss of her the second she's out of sight.
"Here," Jane offers with an extended hand as she walks into the room. She has his money for him in her hand. Sam slowly takes it from her, guilt coating his actions. He knows he shouldn't take money from Lou's parents, but if he didn't it'd be suspicious. Well, on the bright side the hunters have money to eat tomorrow.
"Thanks," Sam says. "Do you need help getting Lizzy back home?"
"Nah," Jane tells him, holding out her now empty hand to Sam. He takes it and lets her help hoist him off the couch. "She'll just stay here for the night, its fine. You need a ride?"
"No, um, I can walk," Sam explains away while walking to the front door. He pauses at the bottom of the stairs, looking up and realizing how unprepared he is to leave.
"You live in the neighborhood?" Jane asks with surprise, Sam confirming her question with a nod. "Well, we're gonna have to call you again whenever Christy is busy. Looks like you did a hell of a job with the kids, and they're not easy."
"They weren't so bad," he rebuts. "They were fun."
"Now I know you're lying to me," Jane smiles up to him. "Thanks again for coming, Sam. We really appreciate it." Sam turns to look at her and sees that she's holding the door open for him. Sam gets the hint.
"Yeah, anytime," Sam says back and walks through the door.
"Goodnight," Jane smiles to him one last time and shuts the door, leaving him alone in the near silent October night. He sees the small car waiting for him a few houses down and begins walking, looking back once at the house that brought him back to her, even if it was for only a few hours.
He pulls open the back door of the Chevelle and heavily plops himself down onto the backseat. Sighing once he slams the door shut, Sam sits back in his seat and looks out the window to the house he just came from. The car remains silent at first, no one willing to start the conversation after the night they'd had.
"You shouldn't have let me fall asleep," Sam almost too quietly to hear tells Dean and Lizzy.
"I didn't have the heart to wake you," Lizzy admits in a small voice. Dean turns around to look at his little brother, clearly hurting, but he doesn't say anything. What can anyone say to make this better anyways?
Sam doesn't respond, just stays silent as Dean starts the car for their short drive up the street.
The rest of the night was a quiet one. Sam barely said another word. He just moped around for a little bit before going to bed early. The retreat of sleep was calling him, his brain overthinking his experience with past Lou too much while awake. Lizzy and Dean followed soon after, both exhausted by the night with the three kids and the emotional rollercoaster that came with it.
Halfway through the night Lizzy is still wide awake. She's tried so hard to fall asleep but no matter what, she can't. The image of Sam asleep with little Lou in his lap haunts her ever second. She can't seem to get past it.
Slowly and carefully, Lizzy rolls out of bed. She takes her time to ensure that Dean won't wake up. He can't make what's hurting her better this time. He doesn't understand, not quite like Sam does.
Creeping quietly down the hall of their borrowed house, Lizzy comes to a stop in front of the room Sam is occupying. Pushing the door slowly open, she peers in.
"I'm up," Sam's voice informs her after hearing the door open and Lizzy stops trying to be quiet.
"I can't sleep either," she informs him while pushing the door all the way open and leaning into the frame of the doorway. Sam is on his side, head resting on the uncomfortable decorative pillow and looking at her. "Sam, I miss her so much."
"Me too."
Crossing her arms over her chest with hunched shoulders, she can feel the tears threatening. Sam can understand how hard this was for her and she's just looking for someone who gets it.
Without a word, Sam pulls aside the sheets and comforter of his bed. Lizzy takes the invitation and walks over, dropping into the open space and lying on her side facing away from Sam. Bringing the blankets over her, he wraps his arm around her waist and Lizzy links her hand into his. The second he has her in a safe embrace, she lets it all out. The tears fall and the sobs wrack her whole body instantly.
The sound of her sorrow rips his heart in two but all Sam can do to help is be there for her. Nothing he says will make it better just like there's not a thing she could say to make life easier on him. Pulling her in tighter, he lets his own silent tears fall. They both are still so lost and broken by Lou's death and instead of getting better with time it seems to only get worse.
"I just wish you could be happy," Lizzy whispers to Sam, tired of seeing him miserable and lonely. "I wish she was still here for you so bad." She'd give anything to see him smile and actually mean it. He's grown more and more distant over time and she's sure that he's snuck out on his own a few times. He's up to something, she knows it, but she keeps it to herself. He's been through enough. Adding an overbearing and harshly judging brother will not help him in the long run.
Saying nothing in return, the two lay there, locked together in silence, and mourn their loss together. Together. At least they had that.