"And I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep and I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe. And I'll keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are. Hope it's nice where you are and I hope the sun shines and it's a beautiful day, then something reminds you, you wish you had stayed. You can plan for a change in the weather and time but I never planned on you changing your mind."

-Taylor Swift, Last Kiss

Disclaimer: I don't own House of Anubis.
Dedication: To Taylor Swift, wishing her good luck on her next album!
This is the memories chapter! The next chapter will pick up right where this one leaves off with a dream/memory that I've been planning since chapter three was published!

"Come on, Nina cheer up!" Amber shouts in my ear as I spin the straw around in my drink.

"No."

"Nina," Patricia says, sitting down next to me, "It's been months."

Exactly. It's been months since I last saw him. That day he left in September… that was it. We are never getting back together. Not in the dreams I've had recently, not in the nightmare that is reality. I'm just… alone. Numb.

The New Year's Gala was today, and he was supposed to be here. But he's not, of course. My life is fucking with me again. Amber dragged me here, in the white A-line dress she designed. It's form-fitting until mid-thigh and it falls gracefully to the ground, but not like a mermaid style. Amber covered it with sparkles, but not in an overwhelming way, in a way that was positively gorgeous. It was shimmering, with thin sleeves falling off my shoulders.

I'd tried to leave a countless number of times, but they caught me every time, the fuckers.

"Dance with me," Mick said, grabbing my hand and pulling me up. "Look, I say, that if you miss him that much, go get him. There isn't anything stopping you."

"Except for the fact that I have no idea where he is."

Suddenly, the room began to spin in circles. I heard sayings from the night Fabian and I ended, almost a year ago today.

"Holy crap."

"May I have this dance?"

"I have to think about it."

"You okay Neens?"

"I love you!"

"I think we should do this later."

"I will always love you."

I could feel myself falling, as Mick's voice asking if I'm okay sounds like it's so far away. I can hardly breath as my entire relationship with Fabian is replayed in my mind like a movie, that only I can see.

Nina looks at the fat envelope in her hands and opens it. "I got in! On scholarship!"

"No way!" Eddie said as he took out his cell phone, pressing number four on his speed dial. "Dad! Get that house ready! Yeah, we did, Nina even got scholarship!"

I brace myself as the real world grows farther away and the next memory hits me.

"Sorry." The guy said with a small laugh playing on his lips, "The bozo hit me with his bag."

"That's no bozo, he's just a pure idiot sometimes." Nina laughed along with him. He got up off her, extending his hand to help her up.

"Nice to meet you Patricia." I smile and pull Eddie to me, "Now, I should get him out of here before he causes any more-" I stop mid-sentence as I run into someone. We both tumble to the ground, me on top.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't-" I focus my view and see the guy from the airport laughing at me. "Hey! It's not polite to laugh!"

"Well, you two really should learn to control yourselves when you stumble over." He said, still laughing at me.

"Well you should steer clear!" I say and begin to laugh as well as I roll off of him. "I am sorry though."

"Hey it's fine." He smiles as he gets up and offers me a hand. I accept it and he pulls me up. He released my hand and I can't help but feel something. Like… a longing for him to still be holding my hand. "No harm done. Well, other than minor concussion."

"Fabian?" I say, rather quietly, "You're afraid of heartbreak?"

"Not afraid," he says as we approach a dock, overlooking a small lake. I can tell we've wandered off the large campus. "Just… I don't think it's worth dealing with."

"Haven't you ever been in love?" I ask.

"How are we supposed to know what love is?" he says as he picks the petals off a flower. "People think that they're in love, but it only ends up hurting them more when it ends. We will never know if the love we feel is love or just physical attraction."

"What is the book about?"

"It's a love story." Jason says, "But, you'll learn about it when you read. You want to borrow my copy?"

I didn't know how to respond to that. But I didn't have to, he spoke for me.

"Nina." He said, "If you're okay with it, I'm going to kiss you now."

All I can do was nod as we fell into each other. I couldn't keep in the emotion I felt as he lifted me completely off the ground, taking control of the kiss.

"Fabian?"

"Yes?"

"Can I promise you something?"

"What?"

I sat up on the kitchen counter, putting my hands on both his cheeks. His eyes averted from mine so I was forced to take drastic measures. "Fabian look at me. Not at my foot, in the eyes."

His bright turquoise eyes flicked to my blue ones. "I will never," I began, "Ever hurt you like that."

"Your heartbeat?"

"Yes," he sighed, "It's beating for you. Don't think that you're not good enough. You're kind, good-hearted, and beautiful."

I let a few more tears slide down my face, before I wrapped my arms around him and cried into his shoulder for a good ten minutes.

"Because she was afraid of falling in love." I sighed. "So… you mean… if I don't… he won't? What if he does first?"

"He won't. He's too scared."

"But-"

"Nina, history tends to repeat itself. And you know what you read is true." Mr. Winkler said.

"What do you mean history tends to repeat itself?" I asked, "The book is fiction."

"Is it?" Jason asked. He extended his hand, "Hello, my name is Jason Luke Winkler. My wife's name is Esther Allison Robinson-Winkler."

"You heard Amber earlier. I love you, why wait?" I quote, "She knows how she feels about Mick and I know how I feel about you. So why wait? Unless you don't love me." I says, wiping some of the waterfall tears that had fallen from my eyes.

Fabian wipes a few of his own tears, "N-Nina." He says shakily, "Please, wait."

I shake my head, "I'm done waiting Fabian."

I turn to leave, grabbing my purse off the table. I hear Patricia apologize to Eddie and begin to follow me. When she gets to me, the crowd has formed a split in the middle. They parted like the Red Sea. I was about to leave, when I look back at Fabian. He can see my mascara stained face and I say one last thing. "Oh and Fabian, I will always love you."

I stomp off, feeling satisfied when I hear the three comments they say as I leave.

"Well she's pissed."

"What happened slimeball?"

"She just spoiled the ending!"

"Excuse me." She says. I can tell by the smile on her face and the way she holds herself, that she was a good person. I'm a great judge of character.

"Yes?" I smile.

"I'm Joy Mercer. Can we talk?"

Joy sighs. "Once Upon a Time, I was the new girl at school. I'd moved from Liverpool when I was eight years old to Australia for my dad's job. I came back eight years later. Now, everyone is a teenager and they've already got they're core group of friends. Even though I had known them all as kids, they were completely different people now and I was still the new girl. No one really knew who I was. At eight years old, everybody was still being dressed by their mums so who could really know who we actually were? I remember seeing girls I once knew to dress in pink dresses, now wearing fishnets and black lipstick."

Joy sips her wine and continues, "Then, I had just come back from lunch. I –of course- sat alone. It was bio class and we were all assigned seats. I was assigned to sit with Fabian. He was kind and welcoming unlike most of the guys in that school. He told me that, he knew what it felt like to be out casted. He was the new kid last year. We were fast friends. Best friends. We did everything together. Laughing, talking, watching TV, going to the movies. Hell, we even went shopping. If only I knew then, we were only meant to be that. Just friends."

"He asked me out," she remembers, "It wasn't any big thing, we went to a movie. It was just like every other time we went to the movies. But, this time I held his hand. I should have known then that it didn't feel right. I learned then that you never should start a relationship with a guy after you've been friends for so long. You just can't, it become a whole world of awkward. And you lose them in the end. Either way, we dated for all of high school. One day we were doing something just the two of us. It wasn't really a date, just the us in my basement playing the Wii. Fabian had just swung the remote at the wall by accident and we both just died laughing. It was like we used to be. That's why I let it slip. I had said 'I love you Fabes' and he'd taken it like… romantically. It wasn't what I intended, but I was too nervous to tell him so. He never noticed, but when he told me he loved me, I wouldn't say I love you too. I'd say, yeah or bye or something. It was my mistake. Telling him I loved him, but not meaning it that way at all. I meant it, in a way as friends. Because that was what that night felt like. Like we were friends again. The way we used to be."

Joy was almost choked up at this point. I offer her a tissue and she gently wipes her eyes, "Then it happened. We were Seniors. The college letters were coming out. Fabian was accepted to Oxford, but I had never even applied. As soon as I got my acceptance to UCL for photography, I knew that there was no going back. I wasn't following Fabian to Oxford and he sure as hell wasn't following me to UCL. I wasn't dragging my past with me to my future."

Joy sighed, "I walked to a café to have a coffee. I hadn't told Fabian about my acceptance yet. I need to plan out how I would break to news about breaking up to him. So I got my coffee and turned to sit down when this guy rammed into me, spilling both out coffees. He apologized quickly and offered to buy we another coffee, which I gladly accepted. There was something about him. Maybe it was the twinkle of his eyes or the way he smiled but, there was something different about him that made me forget I had a boyfriend at all. We talked for that whole night. It was different than the way Fabian and I talked. Fabian and I were friends. We were afraid to push boundaries and talk about really personal and in-depth things. And I had only known him for a few hours."

Joy took a deep breath in and I knew it was about to get bad, "Then Ashton –that's his name- kissed me. The way it felt made me forget everything completely. It made me forget about UCL and my Fabian troubles. I didn't even hear the bell above the door of the café ring, signaling someone's arrival. I did hear Fabian scream my name though. He never gave me a chance to explain. I wasn't cheating on him intentionally, at all. But I did break him. I tried so many times to talk to him about it but he never let me."

Joy turned even more toward me then she was, "But that's why I wanted to talk to you. I know you can tell him. Get him to let me explain!"

"He'll be so mad that I spoke to you." I muttered, "I have to wait for him to be ready, for the right time! If I don't than he won't listen."

"Nina, you won't have to be with someone who doesn't love you." he says, "What would you say if I told you I love you?"

"I'd say you're a liar."

"But what if I'm not? What then?" he's gripping my hand tight, but lose enough for me to let go and run.

"I'd say you have to prove it." I tell him.

"Nina." he says, "I love you."

"Prove it." I whisper, then run off leaving him stunned.

"Nina!" he calls after me, "I love you!"

"I want you to prove it. I'm not giving you my heart again until you do."

I know I'm the liar there. Because he still has my heart. But he doesn't have to know that.

Soon, we both need to sit and we make out way to the bed. His hands are rubbing over my shoulders and pushing my straps off them, letting them hang limp on my upper arm.

"I love you," I say through heavy breaths. I look up at his face, staring down from on top of me.

"I love you so much." He tells me, kissing my head. But I bring him in for more and I can't help but think.

This is gonna be an amazing night.

"It could have been, if you hadn't spoken to her behind my back!" Fabian shouted, "You thought you hated me before? Well now the tables have turned. I hate you."

I drop the stuff in my hands. I close the door and run over to him, "No. Please don't say that." I cup his face in my hands, but he turns away from my grip, "I love you."

"Just go Nina."

Fabian. I love you so much. If you're reading this, I'm probably dead or hurt or something. I never stopped loving you, no matter how much you hate me. Even if you still hate me when you read this, know that if I had survived I know we'd be together. I think. Well, I've been thinking a lot about life and love recently and if I really was to die in a minute what I would do. I would love you as much as I can until I'm gone. You are the only person I can think of that I'd use my last few breaths on. My last moments on Earth. But because I can't, if someone ever finds this note know that you will be the only thing on my mind until I've taken my last breath or until I'm safe on the ground. I love you Fabian. –Nina.

"What are you doing?" I ask.

"Playing tennis, what does it look like I'm doing?" he shouts, throwing more stuff (dedication to you if you tell me who said that!) "I'm out of here. I'm not going to sit here and take this. You know, after that voicemail you left me, decided to talk to Eddie before I do anything. And he gave me this." He holds up the barf bag and sighs, "So, I say to myself who the hell am I kidding? I love this girl. Then, I go to look for you and you're kissing another guy."

"Where the hell are you gonna go?" I ask.

"I don't know yet." He sighed, "Maybe I'll get a dorm. I've got the money saved. Then I'll look for an apartment of my own."

I feel tears sliding down my cheeks, "Please."

"I'm doing this for more than just that I saw you with another guy," Fabian sighs, "I'm doing this because I think we both need a little space from each other."

"Fine." I say crossing my arms, tears still spilling, "But don't expect me to come after you." I wipe my tears and walk out, where Eddie and Patricia are sitting wrapped up in each other.

I look at Mick's fading figure, as I hear the pound on the tile floor, as my body falls from his grasp. I land with a thud and see somewhere else.

It looks familiar but… different. I hear someone calling my name faintly.

Fabian.

Okay, if you don't get the ending it will all be explained next chapter! But for now, I want you guys to answer these questions!

1. Which of these memories was your favorite?

2. What songs used for the titles didn't you know? Which was your favorite? Which was your least favorite?

3. What was your favorite chapter?

4. What do you think is going on at the end of this chapter?