FYI: The story is complete and will be posted a chapter a day. 25 chapters in all.

Chapter 2

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"David, while you were picking up Scotty from Little League, Don Riverton called again. Have you had a chance to speak with him yet?"

Dave Sheppard looked up at his wife from his desk in his office and replied, "No, Amy, I haven't. I know I need to talk to him but I still don't have an answer from John. In his last e-mail he said he would get the papers back to me as soon as he could but he also said it could be a few months before they travelled to him and back again. I wish I knew where the heck he was so I could just fly there myself and get him to sign them finally."

Amy moved behind her husband and began to rub his shoulders. "I don't know that I want you where he is. My guess is it's somewhere very dangerous. Do you think he's stalling because he doesn't want the money? He told you that right after the funeral."

"Who wouldn't want a big chunk of money and a few houses?" Dave groused back. Dave didn't want to believe that John didn't want his inheritance because then he would feel even guiltier for basically accusing John of being greedy at the wake. But in all honesty he now thought John really could care less about it. It had been well over a year and John had done absolutely nothing to try and get any of what he had inherited.

And it had been substantial. He knew he had insinuated to John that he thought he would be getting most of it but in reality, John had gotten his share. Yes, Dave had gotten controlling interest in the company and a larger portion of the money but John had been left with several of their houses, a good amount of cash and enough stocks to make him second largest stockholder. It was nothing to sneeze at.

But the few e-mails he had gotten from his brother had indicated John was in no hurry to claim any of it. Dave couldn't understand him sometimes. He seemed happy to be playing soldier in some God knows where forsaken part of the world.

"I'll call Don tomorrow morning from work. Did Kristy's costume for the recital fit okay? You were doing that this afternoon, weren't you?" Dave tried to change the subject. Talking about his brother always got him in a bad mood. He didn't know why and he certainly didn't want to analyze it. Because if he did he knew it would all stem back to how guilty he felt that he and John hadn't remained as close as they had been when they were younger.

"Yes, it fit fine and she looks adorable," Amy answered. "She is so excited about being on stage Sunday afternoon. I just hope she remembers her choreography."

Dave chuckled. "She's not even four, isn't part of the fun having them all forget what they're doing on stage so the parents can get it on tape and blackmail them when they're older?"

"David!" Amy chastised jokingly as she swatted his shoulder. Just then the doorbell rang and they both looked up.

"Are you expecting someone?" Dave asked as he looked at his watch and saw it was after eight.

Amy shook her head but indicated she would get it. She quickly walked through the hallway to the front door and opened it. The sight greeting her made her pause for a second. Two figures in military blues stood there, faces grim.

"Can I help you?" she asked cautiously.

The blond female gave her a tight smile and said, "Is David Sheppard home? We'd like to speak with him, please."

Amy nodded and stood back to invite them in. "Why don't you wait in here, I'll go get him." She left them in the living room right off the front hall and almost ran to her husband's home office.

"David," she said breathlessly as she stuck her head in the room. "It's two military people and they want to speak with you."

"Oh God!" Dave groaned and closed his eyes for a second. He knew it had to be about John. His company had military contracts but they always met him at work. He hoped he was wrong though. He got up and swiftly followed Amy back to the living room. A distinguished gentleman with gray cropped hair and a slightly younger woman with her blond hair pulled back in a braid stood looking out the front window. They were both in what John called dress blues.

"What can I do for you?" Dave called out softly so as not to startle them.

"Mr. Sheppard," the man, who Dave now saw from the stars on his shoulders, was a general. "I'm General Jack O'Neill and this is Colonel Samantha Carter from the United States Air Force."

Dave reluctantly shook their hands. He really didn't want them to be here. He eyed them warily.

The general took a deep breath then began, "I'm sorry, Mr. Sheppard, it is with deep regret that I inform you that your brother, Lt. Colonel John Sheppard, was killed in action yesterday. You have the condolences of the United States Air Force and the United States government."

Even though Dave had suspected that was why they were here it didn't hurt any less to hear it out loud. He took another deep breath and moved a foot back to sit on the couch. Amy sat next to him and her hand slid into his right away. He wasn't even sure what to think or how to react. He had only seen his brother a few times in the last five years and even before that it had been sporadic. He and John had been close as brothers when they were little but as they had grown older they had grown apart.

David knew much of that was his fault and he was readily able to admit it now. He'd done a lot of thinking over the past year or so since their father had died. Not that John had been completely innocent in the whole thing. But Dave knew when he had sided with their Dad regarding John's going into the military and not joining the company, their relationship had gone downhill. Now it seemed he had as many regrets as their father had. He had hoped that he and John could someday regain their old camaraderie and closeness if John ever came home long enough for them to connect again. But now that would never happen. And it left him with a hole deep inside him.

Dave took a minute to regain his composure then looked up and held out his hand to the chairs opposite. "Do you have a minute? I'd like to ask some questions."

They glanced at each other then sat on the chairs. "Your brother's work was highly classified so we really can't give you too much information in that regards," Colonel Carter informed him.

Dave nodded. He had figured that out during their father's funeral when John had gone running off to do something work related. A few days later he had shown up at the house to talk and Dave had noticed more than a few bruises and some tenderness when he moved. But John had tried to hide it and Dave hadn't bothered to ask since he knew John would never tell him anyway.

"How was he killed? I know you can't give me details and I'm not sure I want them anyway. But was he in an aircraft?" Dave gave a dry chuckle. "He loved flying. That's how he would have wanted to go."

Carter nodded and simply said, "Yes, he was."

"Was it sudden or did he know it was coming?"

O'Neill and Carter seemed to shift restlessly then O'Neill gave an almost indecipherable nod as if allowing the woman to say something.

"Mr. Sheppard," she began though he could tell she was uncomfortable with what she about to say, "John was on a mission of vital importance. The sacrifice that he made potentially saved the lives of millions of people. He knew what he was doing. It was his idea in fact."

"Sacrifice?" Dave questioned. "Are you telling me that John got himself killed on purpose? It was a suicide mission. And his commanding officer allowed him to do this?"

Carter's jaw clenched and her eyes grew sad. "Actually John's orders were to return to base after his first mission failed but he didn't listen. He changed objectives and I honestly couldn't argue with him. We all knew what was at stake. And he was successful with that objective."

O'Neill now cleared his throat. "Just so you know, Mr. Sheppard, the President of the United States himself knows exactly what John did for this country and beyond. He plans on posthumously awarding John the Medal of Honor for his bravery and sacrifice."

Dave looked curiously at them both. "You keep calling him John, did you know him personally?"

"Yeah," O'Neill replied. "He was a royal pain in the ass most of the time but he saved mine a few times and he was damn good at his job. It'll be damn near impossible to replace him."

Carter looked at O'Neill and frowned slightly. "John may have been a bit unorthodox in his leadership style, like others I know, but his troops were loyal and supportive of him and they all respected him immensely."

"His troops?" Dave looked confused. "I thought he flew helicopters and fighters. He led troops, too?"

"He was a Lt. Colonel in the Air Force and he had a great deal of responsibility in his job," Carter supplied. "He commanded a base of over a hundred troops. But John also liked to stay in the action so he went on many of the missions himself. And truthfully he was always the best pilot we had."

Dave took in all this information and wondered why his brother had risked his life when he had so many men working under him. But then their father had always told them to never just hand off the hard work to others. In order to stay sharp you needed to stay skilled at what you did. John apparently kept that ideal in his head even though he wasn't in the same business.

"Mr. Sheppard," Carter got his attention as he sat with his memories. "We'd like to know if you want anything special planned for John. He's earned the right to be buried in Arlington National Cemetery unless you have a family plot that you'd prefer."

Dave felt a tug near his heart, thinking of John resting next to his parents but then a thought came to him. "Is there even anything to bury?"

O'Neill grimaced a tiny bit. "No. It would just be ceremonial. But I know many of his troops are hoping to attend but that wouldn't be possible at a family plot. But you certainly have that option."

Dave looked down at Amy who gave him a watery smile. She had liked John even though they hadn't spent a great deal of time together. He knew John should be buried with the family but then it really wasn't John. It would just be an empty casket. And he knew John would most likely be thrilled to have a ceremony at Arlington. The military had been his life.

"I know John would be honored to have his name at Arlington. Do you need us to do anything for the service? And when would it be?"

"Well, the President has an opening in his schedule to present the Medal of Honor on Friday morning this week. I know he was thinking of doing it at the service so he could present it to John's family. Would that work for you?"

Dave's mind was spinning with things that needed to be done at work but in the end he knew it didn't matter. He looked down and Amy nodded at him.

"That's fine. If you let me know what time, we'll be there."

"The government owes John a great deal and so we'll have a hotel room for your family plus fly you there and back. You shouldn't incur any expenses for this," Carter offered.

Dave knew he had a private plane and should probably use that but he'd let these people do what they thought they should for John. Even though he was hurting, he could tell these two were also affected by John's loss as well.

They all stood and O'Neill shook his hand again. "We'll be in touch with the details and see you in a few days. Again, I'm very sorry for your loss. John was a good man and he'll be missed."

Carter just nodded and Dave saw her eyes gloss over with moisture as she shook his hand. He squeezed it and thanked her.

"I appreciate your coming personally to let me know instead of sending someone who didn't know John. And thank you for the little bit of information you were able to give me. I am proud of John and what he did for this country. I just wish it hadn't been him."

He walked them to the door then closed it and leaned his head against the hard wood. He felt Amy walk up behind him and lay her head against his back.

"I am so sorry, honey," she sniffed and he could tell she was crying. Her arms slid around him and he turned so she was facing him and he slid his own arms around her as well. He held on tight for a few minutes just allowing her love and warmth to give him strength. He knew he'd need it in the days to come just as he had when his Dad had died.

He finally lifted his head from where it had been resting on hers and he leaned down to give her a small kiss. "Thank you for being here, Amy. I don't know what I would do without you. But right now there are a few phone calls I need to make. Some of them are work related if I need to be off on Friday but there are a few people I should call too."

Amy stepped back and lifted her hand to caress his cheek. "I'll be right here if you need me."

Dave kissed her again and smiled. He knew she would be there for him. She always was. But right now he had a belly full of regret. John had needed him at times and he knew he hadn't been there for him.

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"How are you enjoying your stay here, Colonel Sheppard?"

John reluctantly lifted his head and still had a hard time thinking that this beautiful woman had a slimy snake in her head. Until she gave him the glowy eyes. He had to admit that freaked him out. And she always did it right as she was about to strike.

He took a deep breath wondering what today's little treat would be. It had been something different the last few days. Monday he had been lucky enough to get whipped. He still couldn't lean all the way back against the stone wall without the tender skin burning in agony. But she had been truthful when she said she would go easy on him. She had only struck him ten times. He knew it could have been far worse. But the ten she had given him had hardly been light and easy.

When they had unchained him he had barely been able to stand. They had then left him alone on the cold stone floor and slid a bowl with some oatmeal like substance in it next to him. He hadn't realized it would only stay around for a short time. Less than an hour later they had come back and dumped the bowl in the sink and dragged him back into the dark, little room and chained him to the wall again.

He pulled at the chains and felt his shoulders twinge at the weird angle they had needed to stay in over the past few days. It was hardly comfortable. Especially after yesterday's little games.

Mayfield or Athena or whoever she was at the moment had pulled a long wooden stick from her box of tricks and had smacked him around as he'd hung like a side of beef from the chains overhead. He still could barely move his left leg where she had likely fractured a bone. But if he looked on the bright side of things, they hadn't stripped his shirts off for that bit of fun. He wasn't sure his t-shirt would have come off all that easily anyway since he was pretty sure the dried blood from the whip marks had glued the thing to his back.

Now it was Wednesday as he was sure she would tell him. She seemed to get a kick out of informing him what day it was and he wasn't sure what her reason for it was. He honestly didn't think he wanted to know. He'd never really had a whole lot of contact with these snake heads but he could tell he didn't like them already.

The two jumbo guards who had 'assisted' him yesterday and the day before entered the dark room he had been calling home for two days and reached to undo his chains though they kept the metal cuffs attached to his wrists. He put his best effort into struggling against them but he already knew it would be futile. They outweighed him by at least fifty pounds each and he wasn't in optimum shape with his body screaming from the bruises all over and the slices down his back. And he hadn't had anything to eat or drink since he'd been here. He'd missed yesterday's bowl of mush too.

Once his cuffs were hooked onto the overhead bar, he heard Athena/Mayfield walk over. He was facing the small window and she ran her hand over his back as she had the last few days. He tried not to flinch as she did this but his back was still on fire and the thought of her touching him more than freaked him out. He sometimes wondered if that thing could escape from her head and go inside him. He'd heard that had happened to Carter and he couldn't think of much worse. Okay, maybe being sucked dry by a Wraith was pretty darn close.

"I have something special today for you, Colonel," she purred as she moved around to his front and he saw her holding a long metal staff with two pointed prongs on the end. John didn't like the looks of it.

"This is called the Rod of Anguish by my people," her voice echoed in the room and John tried to look away as her eyes glowed in the dim light. "Often it is used as a means to procure information but many use it simply for enjoyment. I will admit to a fondness for this device for both of those reasons. Today I am not asking you any questions so it is simply for pleasure. Unfortunately it will be my pleasure, Colonel Sheppard, not yours."

John stared at the rod and wondered what kind of anguish it would inflict though he didn't doubt it would be bad. The Goau'ld weren't really known for their mercy. Too soon he found out.

Athena moved around him some more and touched the tip of this rod to his hip. John felt an electric shock course through him and he arched his back and a scream was ripped from his throat. He immediately clamped his lips together and gritted his teeth. He didn't want to give this bitch the pleasure of hearing him yell. He wasn't sure he would have a choice though.

And sure enough when she touched it to his already sensitive back, another howl came out as the metal dug into his wrists when his legs gave out and he found himself dangling. He tried to push himself back onto his feet but she pressed the rod again to his stomach this time and he bucked and writhed in agony as bolts of energy shot through him. She barely gave him a few seconds before she touched him again this time on his neck.

John started coughing wondering if his lungs still worked as they felt like they were on fire. His whole body was twitching and he couldn't stop it. But she didn't stop either. A dozen more times she gently touched him with the stick but it didn't take more than a light touch for the energy bolt to race through his insides and steal his breath away.

Finally she stopped and John felt his hands being released. He honestly couldn't see and he wondered if his eyes were permanently welded shut. He was unceremoniously dropped to the floor and he curled up in a ball hoping they would just leave him alone to die. He wasn't sure he had any other options right now he was in so much pain.

"I do hope you'll eat something today, Colonel," snake lady hissed at him and he heard her heels click on the hard floor near his head. "You know I only give you one meal each day and you've missed the last two. You need to keep your strength up so you can continue to play these games with me."

Her footsteps got further away. "You also should use the facilities while you're in this room. Your own little room isn't equipped with much else."

John tried to laugh but only ended up coughing which sent him into more spasms of pain as his bruises, back and now twitching muscles protested. His little room as she called it not only had nothing else in it but he was chained to the wall. He couldn't use any 'facility' even if there was one in there.

"I'll send someone back in about an hour to help you back to your room. Enjoy your freedom until then. Oh and by the way, I'm sure you're interested in knowing, today is Wednesday."

John heard the door close and lock behind him but knew it was too soon to actually move any part of his abused body. The last two days hadn't been fun but he had to admit today's little torture session had been even worse. He could still feel the electric shock causing his muscles to tighten and spasm and twitch. He wondered how long it would last.

He allowed himself more than a few minutes then pried open his eyes to see where they had left the bowl of food today. To his relief it was barely a foot away. He used his elbows to pull his agonized body closer then tried to prop himself up on one elbow. He pulled the bowl closer and stuck his face down to the rim. He tipped it just slightly so the mushy liquid flowed to the edge and John was able to pour it into his open mouth.

It was the consistency of watery oatmeal but John hated to admit it wasn't half bad. He'd tasted worse, including some tuttle root soup that Teyla had made for him once. He wasn't sure he could get that down every day. This would be doable.

As he drained the last of the mush, he thought about his friends on Atlantis and wondered what had happened. He was pretty sure he had blown up the hive ship. Athena had said as much. But where had the city gone once the hive had been taken care of? Had it landed on Earth or had it gone back to Pegasus?

Thinking it through he knew his friends must think he was dead. Carter would have told them what he had done and no one knew that Athena had somehow beamed him off the hive and onto one of their cloaked ships. Come to think of it he wondered how many ships she had or if it was just the one. He hadn't seen much of it, just a cargo hold for a few seconds then he had been stunned. He had woken up in this lovely place.

And he didn't know where here was either. His little cell had no windows and this room only had the tiny one that he hadn't been in any shape to try to look out of. He wasn't sure he would be able to today either. But he was guessing that it wasn't someplace tropical as it was fairly chilly, though he figured the window was high in the wall because the rest of the room was underground. It had that damp cold basement feel about it.

John closed his eyes and placed his cheek against the cold floor hoping it would wake him up a bit. His bladder was crying out to him and he knew too soon the goon twins would be back and he'd spend the next twenty three hours chained in his little dark cell.

After several attempts and his legs completely giving out from under him, he finally managed to crawl to the small alcove and relieve himself. Then he turned on the faucet and stuck his head under the spigot to take a drink. The water was very cold but John thought it had a funny smell to it. He drank it anyway. He didn't know when he would next get a chance to drink something. And he needed to keep up his strength if he was ever to figure out a way to get out of here.

And he knew he would have to be the one to do it since everyone in the world, except Athena and her crew, thought he was dead. He thought about that for a while and took some more water as he heard the door open. Within seconds he was back to his dank wall chained with his hands slightly above his shoulders.

As the door closed and darkness enveloped him, he wished this door had a little window in it too. While he was hardly afraid of the dark, this pitch black was starting to get to him. Although not enough to want snake lady Medusa to come and bring him next door again.

He arched his back to keep it from pressing right against the wall and thought about Atlantis again. He wondered who was crying, if anyone, and who was celebrating his demise. He liked to think that there wouldn't be too many celebrating. He thought he'd been a very fair commander though certainly not exactly what you would expect from someone military.

He missed everyone there. He missed Rodney's whining and complaining and constant one upsmanship. He missed Ronon's solid presence and companionship. And he missed Teyla. He couldn't name any one thing that he missed about Teyla. She had too many good qualities about her and he knew it would be impossible to make a full list.

He hoped Torren had been okay while Atlantis had traveled through space to this galaxy. He then stopped to wonder if it had actually even gotten here. What if something had happened like before and they had been stuck in the middle of nowhere with nowhere to go? But he knew Rodney was there and would think of something or find some way to contact others for help. They'd be okay, he knew it. He had to believe that or he'd drive himself crazy thinking he was just sitting here unable to help them in any way.

John leaned his head back against the hard stone and closed his eyes. Not that it looked any different than when he had them open but he was exhausted and they didn't want to remain open if they didn't have to. He thought back to the little scene when Teyla had come to say goodbye before he gated back to Earth.

He knew she had just come to say farewell and wish him luck but something had happened and the moment had come to mean so much more, at least to him. Teyla had told him that she and Kanaan were not an item. He still didn't know how he had missed that. Did other people know or had he been the only obtuse one?

But as he thought back to the last year he came to realize that all the signs pointed in that direction. Kanaan had spent the first month or so after being rescued on the mainland. But when he and the other Athosians had been given the okay, he had been given his own quarters. John had thought it was just so he and Teyla had more room for Torren, their rooms were close to each other. But then when many of the Athosians had decided to go back to New Athos, Kanaan had gone with them to help rebuild their settlement.

Again, John had figured that it was a temporary thing and Teyla had also gone to spend some time with them and assist them in their resettlement. He had even seen Teyla and Kanaan go into the same tent when he had been there to deliver supplies. But in hindsight he now knew Teyla usually came back to Atlantis each night with him and never really stayed with Kanaan.

And many nights John had been the one to read Torren a bedtime story. He thought back to those times and remembered how great it was seeing the boy laugh and giggle, making his sweet little sound. John let out a huge sigh as he realized he missed Torren as well. He'd really gotten used to being around him and holding him and playing with him. And now Torren would grow up and never even know who he was. Not if he couldn't get out of here alive.

John pulled at his bindings again though he knew they were too secure for him to actually get free. He had spent the better part of the last few days trying to loosen them. It hadn't worked then and he didn't imagine it would work now especially with his muscles quivering like he'd spent the past week lifting weights all day long.

His thoughts moved back to Teyla and how she had hugged him before he left. And he had actually hugged her back. Not that he hadn't held her before, he had. But he had always been a bit uncomfortable with touching her. Mostly because when he did, it always brought into focus the immediate effect she had upon him.

But too soon he had been called to the gate and had needed to release her. He hadn't wanted to. He had wanted to spend more time talking about her and the fact that she and Kanaan were not together like he'd thought for so long. But there hadn't been time. There was never time for things like that. And discussing feelings wasn't something he liked doing any way. Teyla was very aware of that. But maybe this time he would have made an exception.

He knew finding out she was pregnant had hit him like a ton of bricks and he also knew he had been a bit unfair to her at first. But he'd been hurt that she had gone off and done it with some other guy. Of course he also knew that was stupid since he'd never had a hold on her or told her in any way that he wanted her. Maybe if he had earlier, Torren might have been his instead.

Sitting here in the dark, John wouldn't lie to himself and say he'd never entertained thoughts of Torren being his. Each time he had looked at Teyla's swollen belly he had been green with envy for the man who had put that child there. He had wished fervently that it had been him. And with that knowledge came the knowledge that Teyla meant more to him than even he had ever admitted.

Well, he knew that maybe he had admitted it once though in a somewhat roundabout way. His little run in with Thalen had brought that information to light. He had thanked his lucky stars at the time that Teyla had never pushed that and asked for more explanation. But now sitting here in the inky blackness, he wished she had. Wished she had asked him to explain what Thalen meant and had it been true. Because it had been true and even though John had never said it out loud he couldn't lie to Teyla either. Then maybe they would have been together and she never would have turned to Kanaan.

But none of that would matter if he couldn't find a way out of this. And Medusa still hadn't told him why she had brought him here. He knew she got her jollies from torturing him but he figured there were plenty of people she could torture, she hadn't needed to pluck him out of a ship ready to explode. There must be some other reason. He'd just have to wait and see what it was.

While he waited he thought about his training and all he had been told about resisting torture. He knew much of it was mental and so he set about creating a little place to go whenever things got bad. And he knew right away that the one person who could help him more than any other was Teyla. She was about the strongest person he knew, physically and emotionally. And he knew if he got out of this, or he should say when, just to be positive, he would make it a point to finish that conversation with Teyla.

He settled back against the cold stone and worked out in his head exactly what he would say to her.

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