(James)

No, this can't be happening! It just can't!

"Charge 200!... Clear!"

No, no, no, no,...no!

"Nothing, charger 300! Clear!"

I can't lose him, he can't leave me in this world with no proper good-bye! This is not an ending!

"Nothing! Charge 400! Clear! Come on son, Clear!"

~Line break~

Who in the rainbow can draw the line where the violet tint ends and the orange tint begins? Distinctly we see the difference of the colors, but where exactly does the one first blendingly enter into the other? So with sanity and insanity?

Starring at a rainbow on top of the Palm Woods, James was going to have to go with insanity, not because he couldn't see the difference but because it stood for live. Nobody knew where ones life blends into the end, even if it was in front of ones own family.

James hadn't taken noticed how Kendall had started to drift away from their group, no, their family. He should of...

James hadn't noted the depression in those green eyes that he had starred into many times of his life, those green orbs that he considered his life line. He should of...

James hadn't looked deep enough into the love of his life, for his own protecting from fear of rejection, to see threw the facade that Kendall had set up so... hardheartedly that his friend was dieing on the inside out. He really should of...

James could feel the presence of two of his best friends walking up behind him. It had been hours since the ambulance ride... he didn't know if he was strong enough to face them yet.

Luckily, Logan could see this and sat beside the saddened boy with a sigh.

"You know, Mama Knight wants to talk to you, she can't if you don't come down to the apartment."

Carlos, who stood near the edge of the roof, looked down at all of their friends having a good time. He just wished that Kendall was one of them. Slowly he turned towards his friends with a concerned look.

"James, why didn't you tell Kendall?"

James finally lifted his eyes to meet the ones of his life long friends. He would answer, but frankly, he just couldn't find the words to put forth how he was feeling at this moment.

It took minutes but James answered, "I couldn't hear." Logan and Carlos looked between each other before back to the depressed boy, "I couldn't hear what Ken- he was trying to say. They had that stupid oxygen mask on him... He... he tried to tell me something but I just couldn't hear. I swear, when... when he flat lined my whole body was being pulled with him. I wish... just wish I would of said something sooner." The tears that James had yet to let fall, damn his so called pride, and Carlos ran forward to join in the hug that Logan had pulled their friend into.

"It isn't just your fault James, we couldn't see that Kendall was tearing himself up on the inside. We all were too stupid enough to let this whole fame thing get in the way!" Carlos stated as his friend started to sob.

"I should of! I freaking love him and I was SO stupid to just not see him suffer threw his life! You guys are the only ones who know how I feel and I... I don't know how I can tell him now... he... I can't face Mama Knight, just tell her..."

Logan face twisted, "Tell her what? That you are going to live on the roof? We need you down there right now James, Mama Knight and Katie."

"I... I don't know," James froze at his words. Logan and Carlos both flinched away from those dreaded words... the last words all of them got from their blond brother.

"James, please, I don't think I can sleep with out another person being out of the apartment in distress." Carlos pleaded, he just wanted his family to be a whole again.

It took for ever but James had composed himself just enough to walk down to the apartment with his two brothers. One on both side to keep the pretty boy going, James wouldn't of said pretty, because he hadn't looked at a mirror since that dreaded ambulance ride.

Finally, all of James strength to keep going, vanished, just left him stranded in a puddle of dread and misery that he could just feel himself about to drown in.

Maybe this is how Kendall had felt?

James was knocked out of thought, thankfully because he didn't want to think about that right now, by his two brothers looking at him worry stitched into their faces. That was the thing that was bugging James the most at this moment, they shouldn't be worrying about him but... Kendall!

"James, are you ready to go in?" Carlos asked.

James starred at the door as if trying to make it a thousand feet further so he wouldn't have to walk into an apartment that would be considered empty to him with out...

"JAMES," James was now snapped out of it when a little Knight jumped into his arms. "Are you okay?"

"Why are you asking me that?" People really needed to stop fussing over him. Katie should be worrying over...

"Because, you are my brother that came home!" Katie was on the verge of tears. Quickly, without thinking, James scoped the girl, he now considered a sister, up in his arms and to the couch.

"Sh.." was all James could say at this moment. He didn't know if it was going to be okay. He should of...

He didn't know if Katie was strong enough to make it threw this. He should of...

~line break~

James had sat threw the whole night with Katie. Not getting any sleep himself, to make sure that she was okay.

After he was able to leave the room with out her walking up, James ventured into the kitchen. Where, sadly, Mama Knight was up.

"Hey, can't sleep?" James just shook his head, he hadn't trusted his voice ever since entering the apartment, "You do know know that the doctor said he was going to be okay, right?"

James could see the tear stains on his second mothers face. It broke him in half.

"I should of seen it..."

"James, don't go blaming this on your own accord. Kendall... was just in a ruff patch, when he wakes up we will get things straightened out."

James only nodded.

"Promise me that you will not blame yourself for what happened today."

It took for every but finally, "Yeah, I promise."

"Good," Mama Knight kissed James on the forehead before heading back to bed. James knew that he wasn't going to get any sleep tonight, so he just sat down on the couch to await his body to shut down.

(AN= How was that? I need reviews to know, but I do appreciate all the added favs and alerts... THANKS!)