I apologize for the lateness of this chapter. A lot has been going on in my life, but they have either straightened themselves out, or I have chosen to ignore them. I will reply to all pms and reviews soon, but here are the anonymous reviews (with the exception of guest, because I knew who you were, :) ).
kwabbeh pattee: I loved the bit about your actual quote! I don't want you to feel frustrated-but I have to end the chapter sometime! :D And the "I loved everything!" part made me giggle like mad. Thank you. I'm glad you're enjoying it and loving my stories!
mr . jellycup: Thank you for saying so; I'm really glad you've loved it so much. As for sexy times... Well, best leave it to you! But don't feel bad about asking, as there is nothing wrong with being curious! :)
ithinkiloveyou: You have no idea how much that means to me. *hugs* I want to stay as true as possible, despite the, well, implausibility of the pairing. And I'm even happier you can feel their emotions through the page. I hope you'll enjoy this chapter as well!
Pacopoppers: A few things, but I'm back on track! I hope you enjoy the next chapter.
Stargazerqwert: You review had me blushing, I'm happy to say! I'm glad there's so much to enjoy, and that you've grown to like the pairing! I'll do my best to bring more chapters. Thank you!
Also, during this chapter, readers may want to consider listening to "Devil's Spoke" by Laura Marling. I think it fits to a point. But enough of my rambling! I hope you all enjoy the chapter, and thank you in advance for reading.
Green eyes lock on blue, the remnants of Hope's voice dying with the pittering rain. He looks her up and down, shaking his head and grabbing her arm. She lets him pull her inside without a sound, eyes closing at the contact. She can feel the warmth of his hand through her thin coat, and when she stumbles into the house, her entire body is consumed with his familiar scents and heat.
The singed stench of a burned dinner hits her, although she's not sure what he tried to make. Hope has never been much of a cook, and a few lessons from Serah have only made certain the house would not burn down in the future. A musty smell permeates the room, hastily covered by a strong, lemon spray. Hope himself hints of cinnamon and apple, the scent wafting from him as he pulls her into the living room.
Hope's chatter forces her eyes open and she gasps at how close his face is. Hope peers into her eyes before his gaze travels down the rest of her, eyes darkening. Serah bites her lip and runs a trembling, clammy hand through her wet hair. Her shoulders slump when she sees the puddle of water she drips onto his carpet floor, cursing when a violent shiver shoots drops at the wall. Mud trails behind her as well, and she can only sigh when she spots leaves crushed into the floor.
"Serah, please, say something. You look like you've been bawling your eyes out." Hope's hand on her shoulder leads her eyes back to him, and she smiles as best she can. Her numbed cheeks throb and her eyes burn in response.
"I'm tracking dirt through your house. I-I'm sorry-" She barely catches his eyes flash before he explodes.
"Ugh! Serah!" Hope throws his hands up, rolling his eyes. "I don't care about the floor. I care that you're crying. Why?"
Serah shakes her head and sniffles, opening and closing her mouth. "I-I'm sorry. I just-I-" Stomping her foot at her false starts, she grinds out, "I have to tell you something. But-"Her voice seizes and her legs wobble. Hope's gaze softens and he reaches for her hand.
"We can talk when you're not freezing to death." Her jaw drops at his words but he's already peeling her coat off, smiling at her before heading toward the coat-rack by the door. "Sorry for the shouting. It's just-it's been a long day, you know?" He snorts, heading back to her and leading her to the couch. "Of course you know. Look at you."
He slides to the floor and starts on her shoes and socks, carefully straightening her legs and easing them off. Serah chokes as she watches, running her cold hands over her frozen face. Her body quakes and she shivers when her toes are exposed. Hope glances up at her, biting his bottom lip. His fingers brush her skin and she feels the fire in his fingertips. The chill inside her burns colder at his touch.
Hope coughs, rubbing his throat. "Y-you'll just get colder, if you stay in that."
Serah blinks and looks down at her soaked-through pants and blouse. She nods, curling her toes into Hope's carpet and grinning. Something about his words and flushed face strengthen her resolve, and she looks up at him, tilting her head to the side. "I don't exactly carry a spare outfit with me."
Hope's entire face flushes and Serah stifles a chuckle. "N-no! No, I mean, why would you?" He looks around his house, wringing his hands. "I-um, I guess-um..." He swallows, pointing down the hall to his room. "You can borrow some of my clothes, if you want. I-I can take yours and wash em, and dry-and-and-cocoa! That's what we need! Some hot cocoa. I'll go make that, then, and you-you get warm. And I'll get cocoa. Lots of cocoa."
"Got it, Captain Cocoa." Serah laughs, eyes brightening when Hope's own lips form a grin. He stands and ruffles her hair, sticking his tongue out as he leaves.
"Just leave your clothes outside my door. I'll grab them later."
Nodding absently, Serah heads past Hope's kitchen and bathroom, down to his room. It sits nestled in the right corner and Serah's heart skips when she realizes that, for all the studying they've done together, this will be the first time she has been in Hope's room.
Squashing down the excitement that bubbles in her stomach, she slips inside and flips on the switch, blinking at the bright light that hits her eyes. She immediately locks onto his bed, the full-size mattress neatly made. It looks like he hasn't slept here in a while. Which means he's been at the couch. Which I have told him how many times not to do?
Shaking her head, she resists the temptation of looking around and heads for his wooden dresser, only to pause at the drawers. Inside, she belatedly realizes, are all his clothes: shirts, jeans, slacks, sweaters, socks, and underwear. She rifles through Snow's clothes all the time, but her hand still stops at Hope's drawers.
I have no idea which drawer has what. What if he-I mean, he's a boy and it's normal for him...
No, just don't even think about it.
Taking several deep breaths, she curls her fingers and refuses to think of all the things Hope could be keeping in his drawers that she wouldn't want to see. She flings the drawer open, blinking at the jumbled socks and underwear she spots before slamming it closed.
See? That wasn't so bad. Nothing evil or perverted in there. Not that I really looked long enough, but it's the thought, right?
A sharp shudder reminds her that she's still wearing ice-cold clothes and she peeks into the next few drawers. Licking her lips, she pulls out a green, wrinkled dress shirt and a pair of black shorts, but pauses and looks down at herself. Swallowing, she slips out of her shirt and feels her bra, only to sigh when her hands comes back wet.
Not good...
Biting her lip, Serah reaches around and unhooks her bra. She pushes it away once it drops to the floor, holding Hope's shirt in front of her to examine. Ignoring the heat burning painfully in her face, she pinches the corners and hugs the shirt, taking a deep breath.
More cinnamon. Does he bathe n it or something?
Giggling at the thought, she slips the shirt over her head and buttons to the very top, relaxing when she sees it covers her chest. Her collarbone peeks out and her right shoulder remains exposed, but it is better than it could have been.
Moving on to her jeans, she fights to take them off while her mind wanders.
Why are you here, Serah? Why did you come running back to Hope?
Snarling when the denim catches around her thighs, she kneels closer to the ground and wriggles around. The wet jeans claw her skin, leaving a raw, red color in its wake.
Stupid question. Because he cares. But what am I here to do?
Her heart skips and she breathes hard, gasping when she yanks hard enough to get the jeans off. She rolls onto her back and stares at Hope's ceiling, blinking at a few posters pinned to the walls. Boomerangs, robots, and a band poster or two color the ceiling, and something inside her warms.
What do I say?
Serah lifts her ring finger up and stares at the gold band, chest hollowing out. The light catches the metal and shoots in her eyes, making her wince. Sighing, her other hand feels the hem of her panties and she groans.
They're soaked.
Bouncing her head on the floor, Serah slowly pushes herself back up and eyes Hope's dresser. She inches closer and closer, finally standing and looking at the top drawer. Her heart picks up its pace, her thoughts reeling and fluttering away from her. Her body stiffens and she glances at the ring.
This shouldn't be happening.
She opens the drawer, cheeks reddening at the underwear, boxers, briefs, and socks she spots inside.
Hope shouldn't be the one comforting me.
She sifts through the clothes, heart lodging itself in her throat. Hope pops into her head; him grabbing the book and pulling her into that burning kiss. She shakes herself out of the memory, biting her lip.
I shouldn't still be thinking...about that kiss.
A black pair of boxers pulls her eyes and she lifts them out. Her chest heaves and her shaking hands reach for the hem of her underwear.
If I keep going, I know-I know-
She pulls them off and toes her underwear to the small pile of wet clothes. Taking another deep breath, she pulls on Hope's boxers. Then reaches for his shorts and pulls them on as well. They catch at her hips and she tightens the elastic string until they hug her waist. Her heart bounces in its cage.
But...I want to keep going.
Gathering her clothes, she stops and looks around the room. Her eyes spot a boomerang sitting in the far right corner, and books around the bed. Pictures sit on the end tables and a mog doll rests on a computer desk. Something warm envelopes her and she presses a hand to her heart at the odd, bubbling feeling. She smiles as it steals away the cold.
I'm sick of being alone. I'm sick of-of this. I'm sick of pushing away this person who makes me feel safe and warm and so not alone.
She flips off the switch and closes the room off. Her eyes look for Hope but she hears the beeping of a microwave that tells her he's still making the cocoa.
As her body still trembles, though no longer from the chill, she steps into the bathroom and throws her clothes into a laundry basket. Switching on the light, she studies her reflection in the wall mirror. Her wet hair remains plastered to her face and her cheeks are red from crying and freezing rain. But her gaze lingers on Hope's shirt on her, and what little she can see of his shorts.
Fingering the hem of the shorts, her face heats at the thoughts of his boxers on her. Mouth dry, she shakes her head and turns the light off, heading for the living room. Her mind sparks, thoughts starting and stopping before they can really form. Her heart pounds harder and faster, dizzying her as she plops onto the couch cushions. The clatter of cups catches her ears, but then she looks down at her hands. Rests them in her lap and stares at her wedding band.
There's no going back.
His lips on hers. Warm. Caring. Rough and gentle; she didn't know they could exist all at once.
She twists the ring up and off.
Not after this.
Setting the gold ring on the table, she hugs herself and closes her eyes, waiting for his footsteps in the other room.
And I don't want to go back.
"Serah, are you okay?"
Not after this.
Hope slows his steps when he spots Serah on the couch, her hands in her lap and head down. His chest tenses, and her bloodshot eyes flash in his mind. Lowering his eyes, he walks toward her and sets the cups on the table, catching her eye and offering a smile.
"You still look like you need to warm up," he says, pushing the steaming cup of cocoa closer while he sits on the floor. Eyes lingering on her bare shoulder, he snaps his gaze to the table. "Sorry I don't have anything better."
"Everything would have been too big, Hope. Don't worry about it." Serah slowly reaches for her cup and sips, eyes hidden behind her bangs. Hope's throat tightens and he looks down at his own cup, running his finger along the rim before finally picking it up and taking a large gulp. The chocolate liquid scorches on its way down but Hope chokes back the yelp and leaves his eyes fixed on the table.
His heart hammers away at his ribs and he wonders when the bones will break.
Setting his cup down and still very interested in the table, Hope asks, "So...what happened, Serah?"
Out of the corner of his eye he sees her set her own cup down, the steam waving up before disappearing completely from his sight. Hope's eyes widen briefly when he spots a small shine on his table, and Serah's wedding ring meets his gaze.
"I-I was out thinking, is all. I had a bit of a breakdown." Serah rubs her eyes and Hope chances a look at her. The lines of exhaustion on her face and raw red skin draw his eyes the most.
"You sure it was a 'bit' of one?" Hope shakes his head. "How long were you even out there? I bet you're gonna get sick."
"Probably." Hope bites the inside of his cheek. This Serah seems to have lost her fight and it makes him shift uncomfortably.
"Serah..."
"I just." She sighs, tilting her head toward the ceiling. "I started thinking about a lot of things. About Snow and myself. About you." Hope's lung clench and breathing becomes five times harder. He has no idea why the air just flies from him, but he's far too winded to respond.
"Snow...he doesn't notice me. At least, not the way I need to be noticed. And-and I know. I should know, by now, that he's always going to be like that. You need to hit him over the head with something in order for him to get it. He's single-minded and tenacious and chivalrous, and so many things." Serah lowers her head and sighs, blinking fast.
"I-no-we always talked about how our marriage would be like...one of those fairy tales. Even after I was branded, even after Cocoon fell from the sky, he was the knight and I was the princess. And he saved me. But...I don't know. I didn't think the princess would be spending so much time alone in her castle, while her knight went off to fight the dragons."
Hope closes his eyes, holding back a groan. He searches for an answer, for a sentence, for anything, but nothing comes to mind. Fresh anger bubbles in his stomach, but there's no Snow to throw his fist at. Serah needs him now, but he has no answers.
What am I supposed to say? I mean, I don't even know if I-
"I'm sorry, Hope." Her voice cracks and Hope shakes his head, joining her on the couch and grabbing her hand.
"Serah, no, don't-"
"I'm here making these stupid metaphors about my marriage in the middle of the night. I have a lot of things I need to apologize for." Her breath shakes and she squeezes his fingers. "It's just-I don't know what I was expecting. I didn't-I didn't think I'd end up like this. Feeling like this. And I know I should tell him, but I can't find the words. I don't want-want to ruin anything, but..."
Serah rubs her toes into the carpet, moaning when tears fall down her cheeks and into her lap. "Even-even when I know what I should say, I can't make it come out. And here I am, making your life harder and I shouldn't be."
"Serah, no, stop-"
"No, Hope. That's what I'm doing! I keep coming to you, expecting you to pick up the pieces of this-this-I don't even know what to call it anymore."
"Serah," His voice rises with hers. He feels as desperate as she looks, her watering eyes looking everywhere around her before settling for her legs.
"All I do is dump my problems on you! I came here for something else. To tell you something important. To let you know how I feel! But then-then-"
"Serah!" He grabs her by the shoulders and pushes her into the couch, eyes flashing before settling into a dark burn. Her eyes widen, mouth parting at the way he leans in. His voice is barely a whisper. "What part of, 'I'll be here for you' did you not hear? So you're dumping your problems on me, go ahead! Since when did I complain? Sure, I don't get some of it, and more than half the time I feel like decking Snow for making you feel like this, but that doesn't mean I want you to sit there and simmer in it."
Hope's fingers dig into her skin, breath hot and quick. "I want you to be happy, Serah. And I want you to feel better, and stop crying and berating yourself over this. I want you to talk with Snow. And I want-need-you to know that I'm always going to be here. So you're depending on me too much?" Hope's lips crack into a twisted smile, his eyes burning. "Fine! I'd rather you do that then go back home and curl into a ball and-and just start all over again."
"Hope-"
"Okay? Okay, Serah? This is fine. Tell me about your problems. Maybe I can help. Maybe I can make that idiot of a husband see sense, and maybe I can push you to talking. But I'm not letting you go back to the way things were. I refuse."
The last word comes out a heavy breath, and Hope keeps her pinned for several long seconds before he blinks and sees what he's done. Hands flying off, he swallows and leans away, running a hand over his face. "Oh-oh..." He blinks several times, wincing when he spots the red marks he's left on her shoulders and what he can see of her arm.
Hot embarrassment and shame blooms in his chest and he growls, stumbling away. Chuckling lowly, he looks from the floor to the kitchen doorway. His stomach tightens and he shakes his head. "I-I didn't mean to...I'm sorry." Pinching the bridge of his nose, Hope takes another step away from her, opening and closing his mouth. His thoughts scatter, coherency lost to the nauseousness gurgling up his throat.
"I shouldn't have yelled like that. I don't know what I'm doing." He turns, shoulders hitching with his breaths. "I-I don't-you want something to eat? Are you tired? I can find-find-" Hope breaks off, heading for the kitchen. His muscles are taut and the room presses hard on him.
I need to-to go clear my head. What am I doing? Yelling at a crying woman. Oh, yeah, that's real smooth-
"No."
Hope freezes at the tug on his shirt. His heart races to his throat and he tenses. Serah's fingers curl around the fabric and pull him backward, but he does not look behind him.
"Don't leave, Hope." Serah's voice is soft, but his eyes widen at the growl he hears behind it. "Don't you dare leave now."
"S-"
"Let me talk." His eyes close and he listens as Serah shifts on the couch. Stomach flipping, he makes to turn, only to gasp when her arms wrap around his waist from behind. "You need...to let me talk."
Her body molds perfectly against his, her curves fitting easily into his crooks and corners. Heat pools in his stomach and leaks down his body as she presses her lips to his neck. "Just hush."
"S-Serah, n-"
"What you did just now," she says, keeping her voice quiet, but speaking loud enough to overcome is broken words, "was amazing."
Hope starts to shake his head but jolts when Serah's teeth nip his skin. "You don't see it, do you? What you did?" Her lips touch his skin with every word and goosebumps erupt on every inch of his flesh. The flames in his stomach roar into a wildfire, and he clings to her every word to distract himself from the blaze.
"It comes naturally to you. When someone you care about needs a helping hand, or even a few...harsh words." She presses her forehead to the back of his neck and his shoulders slump at the hot tears he feels dribble down his back. "Hope, you have no idea how much that means to me."
"Serah...Serah, no-"
"You're the only one, Hope," He wants the words, he wants her near him like this. His breath comes in short bursts. His hands claw at his sides and he bounces his leg. "You're the only one willing to be rough with me."
"N..."
"Snow is always so careful. So, so careful-like I'll break any second."
Hope sees her sobs without looking and shakes his head. Taking a deep, wavering breath he turns and grabs her by the shoulders. He does not squeeze like before, and with great effort, manages to pull her away. He swallows several times, mouth dry and voice cracked because of it.
"Serah." He reaches for her right cheek and wipes at the tear-stained skin. Her blue eyes burn him but he smiles. "I think you just might."
"Maybe," Serah whispers. She leans closer and Hope's heart nearly rips from his chest. The room around him swirls and blurs and all he can see is Serah. Her eyes, her lips, and all her tears. "But, you haven't let me yet."
"I-I-"
Serah's mouth silences him and he moans, melting against her. Everything burns, but the kiss sears him. Her lips move easily against his and she bites his bottom lip. He gasps and she moves in, poking his tongue with hers and moaning a little herself. Hope's muscles loosen and tighten all at once and Serah sucks on his bottom lip when she pulls apart for breath.
Hope barely has time to blink before Serah is on him again, the kiss deeper than before. She catches his bottom lip again and melds her body to his, her hands wrapping around his waist. Blood simmering, Hope gasps at a sudden pressure down below, leaving his mind reeling at the electric shock. Serah dives for his neck and leaves a trail of fire with each kiss, stopping at his pulse and licking at the skin. Hope's hands grasp her shoulders and he shakes his head, closing his eyes and groaning.
"N-nnno. Not-no-can't-" Hope blinks, grasping for the words despite the heat blooming in his stomach and groin. "Not-not like this. I can't." Hot, hot, too tight.
"Hope," Serah gasps, and he squeezes her shoulders.
"I won't-won't forgive myself. Snow and you-and you-you're vulnerable. And-"
"Hope." Her breath whistles by his ear and he shudders. "You're holding me closer."
Hope's mouth opens and closes and he looks down at her, eyes bleary. His wrap around her shoulders and pull her closer to his chest, and he swallows at the sight.
"Oh..."
Serah's hand presses against his heart and she nuzzles close to his chest. "It's beating so fast," she mumbles.
"I-I don't want to take advantage of you."
She shakes her head and grabs his hand, leaning away from him so he can see her face. Hope's body chills at the loss but he focuses on Serah's face. Her eyes burn brightly, leaving him smoking as her gaze travels from his chest to his face. She takes his hand and places it near her left breast. Hope's voice catches but she slips his fingers past the buttons and into the skin.
"Close your eyes."
He does so, unable to say no. Steadying his breath, he waits and feels, and soon Serah's own rapid heartbeat flutters between his fingers. The thrumming almost pulses into his own body and soon he feels the fire burning on her skin and the sweat and tight muscles-
"Se-Serah. I don't-"
Her trembling hand grabs his wrist and pulls him close to her. His arms are around her in seconds and he uses her as an anchor in his now sinking, swimming, and tilting world. His eyes remain closed and he waits for her words to come. His stomach tightens and the fire roars louder and hotter and bigger. Everything is too close and too tight.
"I should be saying sorry," she says, and he grabs onto her voice and to her, fusing them together. "If anyone is taking advantage of anyone, it's me. Hope, I'm about to be very selfish. I'm about to kiss you. I'm about to make love to you. You've been so kind and loving, Hope. I need that. I need you."
His eyes pop open at her words and he kisses the crook of her neck. Leaves small, light pecks of love as she speaks. "I need you, Hope. I just-I can't seem to stay away." He hears the hurt in her voice and leaves a harsh kiss on her neck, biting the skin as he pulls away. She moans and his heart leaps at the sound.
"I want you inside me, Hope."
Something snaps and he scoops her up, diving into her collarbone and kissing and sucking as he carries her to his room. A startled gasp gives him an opening and he claims her mouth, causing a moan as she collapses against him. She wraps her arms around his neck, curling her body as close as she can as the world shifts. Darkness consumes her, but another kiss sends her thrashing. Heat pools in her chest and abdomen and she groans.
"Hope..."
They land on his bed, the mattress groaning beneath them. Hope leans over Serah, kissing her neck and collarbone and trailing down to her breasts. Her hands grasp his back and she curls her toes when he sucks hard on her right breast, breathing turning to gasping. He moves away with a soft pop, blowing on the mark and making her wriggle before meeting her eyes. Even in the dark, Serah can see his fire, and Hope can see hers.
"Once I start," Hope mutters, hands trailing her sides. The touches are barely there and she writhes at the almost-contact. "There's no way I'll be able to stop."
Serah shudders at the promise.
"Who said I wanted you to-AH!" She sinks her hands into his hair when his mouth finds her left breast and sucks before trailing down her stomach, then back to her lips. Serah blinks, panting before reaching for the hem of Hope's pants and tugging down. Hope groans when her hand finds his member, and she squeezes lightly, smiling at the moan. She runs her fingers along the fabric of her pants and Hope thrashes above her, burying his face in her neck and nibbling the skin.
"Mm...nnggh, tease-" His words turn into a gasp when she yanks his pants down. She writhes and shudders when Hope rips away his shirt and moves for her shorts. His fingers stop at the boxers and he leans to her stomach. She feels him smile on her skin, humming, "These look great on you."
"H-Hope-" She bucks when he runs a finger up and down her womanhood, twisting and turning his digits through the fabric. She growls and reaches for his own boxers, pulling them down and relishing the hiss he releases. She grabs lightly and squeezes a few times, shuddering at the moaning. He thrusts into her hand and gasps, kissing her chest. Trembling fingers find their way to her boxers and they're down in seconds, leaving her panting and exposed. The cold air sizzles her and she moans.
"I...need you, too." He kisses her stomach before leaning over her. Her body quakes, the heat and thrumming in her body leaving her too hot and tight. She gasps and tenses when she feels him near her entrance, her hands flailing and curling around him.
"H-Hope. Please." She stops and thrashes as he eases into her, tight and full and splitting all at once. Pain blurs with pleasure and Hope hisses at the pressure around him. Hazy eyes stare down and he watches Serah's face twist, sweat shining on her face. He watches the pulse on her neck bob up and down, only to gasp when she tightens around him. White edges his vision and the blood below boils.
"Oh, God, Serah. T-tell me-tell me-" Another squeeze and Hope pants, bucking. "Tell me when..." He's amazed by her wide, burning, quivering eyes. The way her face curls into pleasure and need with desperate pants and gasps.
"Now-God, now!"
And he moves as soon as he hears it, gasping and panting with her. The world is gone, the bed is gone, and all he can feel his Serah's hot, sweating body against his. Feel her around him, squeezing him, pushing him over. Serah grasps his back and claws his skin and they move faster. Harder. Over and over and over, each move tighter and hotter than the last.
Serah wriggles, toes curling and tightening as explosions of white hot bliss erupt inside her. She feels her edge coming, barely opens her mouth to scream, "Hope!" before she explodes, wiping her clean of everything but the waves of hot, pulsing pleasure. She gasps when Hope cums, feeling full again as he buries his face into her neck and groans out her name.
She holds him tight until the crashing waves dwindle into content ripples, her body liquid and impossible to gather and move. Hope moans and slowly, carefully, eases out of her and to her side. He places a hand on her stomach and Serah's eyes swivel to his, watching the hazy green in the darkness.
"Hope..."
He inches closer to her, his sluggish movements making Serah smile. He reaches blindly for his blanket and throws it over them, careful to cover Serah in as much as he can. He blinks tiredly, turning his index finger until Serah turns her back to him. Then he tangles his legs with hers and wraps his arms around her waist. Sighing, he settles his face against her back, kissing the skin.
"Sleep now. Think later."
Serah nods, mind buzzing faintly as sleep calls. But she keeps a hand around Hope's and smiles.
"Thank you."