Chapter 4: Home Visit

Holding Ichigo's hand in the car, Aizen Sosuke found himself doing something he didn't usually do and that was questioning his decisions. Since the visitor yesterday, Ichigo's mood had deteriorated over the day. He'd been especially tired, more than a little irritable even if he tried to hide it, and downcast. Thinking that a visit to his flat would ease the boys mind, the announcement they were going to visit it didn't go down as well as he had expected. Not only had Ichigo began to get restless, he'd got needier almost clinging to Aizen's shadow and hadn't slept too well over night. This morning he'd looked pale, slightly agitated and quieter as the departure time loomed closer. Now in the car, his hand held in Aizen's lap, felt warm, so much so he could feel the heat through his trousers and onto his thigh. It was clammy and the boy seemed frozen in place and totally silent. Right now, Aizen wondered if Ichigo was ready to get out of the cocoon of his apartment even if it was to somewhere he'd previously pleaded to come to.

Ichigo had such a mix of emotions running through his fuzzy mind, he felt he couldn't process them all at once. His first instinct since the announcement yesterday was that this was yet another test he had to pass to keep in Aizen's affections. It was hard work trying to constantly be good enough and recovered enough to do well and not make a fool of himself. What would happen if he did badly? Well if he was being taken home, did it follow that...no... Aizen wouldn't do something quite that harshly would he?

The fear inside him should have been a lot more paramount than it was, it should have been at the front of his mind rather than just pushing and shoving the rest of his thoughts from the back of the room. In truth Ichigo couldn't help but feel a growing detachment since yesterday. He couldn't bring himself to care too much it all seemed too much bother at the moment and even though he was out of character at the moment, he felt even more so. There was this weight on him, pushing him down, suffocating his mind, sapping his energy and... fuck was it hot in here? He lifted a hand and wiped the sweat on his brow, to his relief the window was opened for him on his side and he felt the breeze with welcome.

They'd arrived at his flat and Ichigo felt odd twisting his keys and pushing open the door of his flat. Ordinarily, the sight of the cosy warm place would have given him an instant reason to feel calm, that coming home feeling he usually got instead was a bit off. Never once did he have to do it in the dark, not even during a power failure would he have stood here at the threshold totally blind as if it were the pitch of night not late afternoon. But the smell was there, the smell of home, not that it actually had a scent he'd ever discerned before, it just was the smell of home. On the way in he'd been reassured by the sounds of the deli underneath, the busy high street and its constant flow of nosy people and traffic. Even now inside the corridor he shared with three other flats, the noise of outside could be heard like a comforting hum of life around him. He'd always liked that before, to feel part of a larger body of people. People whom he'd always fitted in, or rather been quite a larger than life beacon thanks to his unusual hair colouring and loud personality. Quickly inside, with the comfort of Aizen behind him, Ichigo shook off his slip on loafers and scooted his foot a little round to the left of the door where he usually left his slippers. He knew that he never used to look for his slippers they were always there for his feet to naturally fall into whilst he took off any outwear he had on and today was just the same. His coat slid from his shoulders and with a tentative feel along the wall just above the slipper waiting point, he found the hooks with a few coats left hanging and put his own on the least used hook. The sound of Aizen's coat crumpling over his made the young man know that his boyfriend was also making himself feel at home.

This was more than weird being here now, it reminded him that the life he had when he last saw this flat was way behind him. The comforts he felt from being here were only throwing him further into his depression. It was the wrong kind of relief he got from being here now; he was finding it harder to keep himself in check, that muzzy head he'd had all day so far was filling itself up to the brim with impatient child like feelings all crashing around wanting his attention. It felt like each emotion in him had its own ribbon and he was clambering to hold or grasp each one but the bunch of ribbons just wanted to tug free from his poorly hands. With what was feeling like the last of his energy, he latched onto the ribbons a bit tighter, clamped his thoughts down harshly then twisted his head to talk to the man waiting patiently behind him all the while willing himself to appear in control and 'normal'.

I will be in control, I will. He thought determined. "I won't be able to offer you much." He began, his voice hinted at the strain he was in, but he just ignored it hoping Sosuke hadn't noticed. "I dare say the fridge will be empty?"

Aizen had noticed, but he didn't say anything beyond the charade that Ichigo was putting on. "My housekeeper came and cleaned it out, she said she left the door open to prevent it becoming stale."

Just how many people had Aizen sent into his home whilst he was out of commission, there was no way the man collected his clothes himself, more likely he just came to poke around.

"I should have some Jasmine tea though?"

"That sounds quite refreshing." Aizen hung back and let Ichigo get a couple of steps ahead of him. He watched Ichigo running his hand along the wall, just with his little finger touching the plaster and telling him where he was. The opening to the kitchen saw the ginger man turn left under the arch and Aizen made himself comfortable leaning against the cool curving wall where he could again be watchful of Ichigo's actions.

Ichigo knew his kitchen, he knew the layout well from memory. Firstly inside the arch was the fridge and his hand found that door leaning open against the wall. Next to that was a space of worktop where he would normally prepare his meals as it sat conveniently between the fridge and the sink. Another gap, and he ran his hand over the cool stainless steel sink to the slightly grainy feeling worktop and met the stove. His fingers ran over everything, imprinting his visual memory to some sort of spatial layout akin to a physical map his finger tips could recall. It was good the space was small and everything to hand in the 6 cabinet width space. He used to be able to almost stand at the sink and reach to one side of his kitchen and the other. Now it aided him as he picked up the kettle from the side of the stove, fumbled slightly over the awkward fastening of its lid and took the two steps back to the sink and turn his cold water to fill the thing. It was harder to judge the quantity of water, the gauge on the side now obsolete; instead he felt the weight and guestimated by some assumed knowledge of how much two portions would be. The cordless device slid easily enough back onto its plinth and his thumb flicked the on switch in the same casual manner it always did. Right above the kettle, he'd always kept his mugs in the eye-line units. Cautious with his numb hands, he opened the door and grasped two mugs weary of knocking any out or losing his grip on the ones he'd selected. They clonked rather forcefully onto the worktop as he put them down and he winced with the shock of the noise and the jarring to his hands. He drew his hands back quickly and held them aloft almost as if one movement would set off a bomb; indeed the pulse of constant pain had risen and was now throbbing quite markedly at him. It was a stupid thing, just harmless misjudgement of height but it had been enough of a shock to let those ribbons begin to fly from his hands. He was losing it, the comfort of home was too much. It was all to easy to be upset.

"Ichigo?" Sosuke's soft voice filled his ears as the man moved closer. His body leaned around him, his hands on Ichigo's and drawing him in to his body so that both men were holding him in a reassuring hug. Soft lips touched against his jaw just under his ear. "Tea pot?"

With nervous hands, Ichigo let one hand drift to the cupboard to the right of the mug one and opened the door. Aizen's eyes looked into the heavily stacked cupboard and knew getting the teapot was not going to be simple. "Let me." He whispered, keeping his position and just reaching around the lean man between his arms.

It was meant as an act of helpfulness, but to Ichigo it was the nail in the coffin on any life at all. Coming home had been a bad idea, it just validated all his fears about how useless he was, how much his life was over. He couldn't even put on his own clothes, shave his face, wipe his arse and know it was clean!

No bike any more, no reading his books, no watching the TV, checking his emails, using the computer or having any sense of independence.

He couldn't even manage to make a cup of tea – here in his own home!

What life was left?

He'd never see another living soul again, never see a butterfly or even the pattern on his duvet!

What was the point in it all?

Everything was ruined.

He might as well be dead!

Might as well be dead, Dead, DEAD.

A sob lone and solitary fell like a burp of puke, spitting his now unrestrained state of mind all over the chest of his no doubt short to be lived boyfriend.

Who'd really ever love him like this?

Want him at all?

Need him, respect him?

Everything was going to the dogs, his job, his home then because he wouldn't be able to pay the mortgage, his friends – not that many had kept in touch since they'd heard and his family were not speaking to him.

He pushed blindly at the chest of muscles trying to bring him into a hug, stumbling away a few spaces as huge fat tears began to fall with the sound track of his whole life falling to pieces and echoing from his heart breaking sobbing. His knees buckled and he let himself fall into a heap and his head lay against the carpet of the adjoining lounge. Fingers clenched into the carpet as they vainly tried to ground him and help him 'Keep a grip' of his sanity. It wasn't working.

Aizen wouldn't normally allow himself to get down on the floor, it had always seemed such a profound statement of meekness; to stoop so low as to grovel in the dirt seemed such a low act way beneath his status. Yet, Ichigo looked pitiful and it tore at his very being to see the lad in such torment, he just wanted to get closer and promise him that his fears were unfounded, Aizen himself would protect him from everything that hurt and worried him.

"It's alright." His words were soft and his hold on Ichigo's upper arms meant to be strong.

"No! Its... not!" Ichigo croaked out between his grunting cries. He tried to shake free of the hold on him, so ashamed at his break down. Weakly he pushed away a hand a time holding him and scuttled himself backwards until his back hit a wall. He couldn't place where he was in his own home, it was as if he had landed in some strange parallel dimension with everything the same yet different. He was out of place, out of sorts, out of hope.

The hurt inside him was just that, hurt. All this deep dark realisations made his being ache. There was no way out, the whole of life loomed scarily ahead of him and it seemed like a huge long time to spend in darkness. It was more than just scary, it was terrifying.

Aizen watched the man turn into a shivering, shaking and distraught child. Sitting there, with his white eyes flashing with all manner of disturbing emotions. His arms had wrapped around his legs tightly and he was rocking back and forth in the middle of a living nightmare, knowing he was fully awake without the escape of waking up. Fat tears ran in huge rivers down his face, soaking his clothes and joining the dribble from his mouth.

"Let me help you."

Ichigo's head jolted towards the sound the voice originated from. He seemed to cringe back away from Aizen further and the older man withdrew the hand reaching out to touch him.

"I...don't want... your help." The red head hiccuped.

"Trust me." Aizen did now reach for Ichigo's knee brushing his hand over the top.

Ichigo cringed but didn't actually push the contact away. His empty monsteresque eyes swept over Aizen's face, seeing nothing, but accusing much. "What if, what if hey, what if I get used to it. Used to you helping me and then...then you realise this isn't what you want." He roughly wiped his dripping eyes with the back of his hand. "What if it isn't me you want! Me like this! What do I do then? Go home and like a helpless child and run back to my father with my tail between my legs and ask for forgiveness?" Oh how he couldn't do that! He couldn't ever face his family now, not with this divine justice for being gay and having a relationship against his fathers wishes. He couldn't go back and hear how disappointed his sisters were in him. His sobs began anew.

"Oh you silly boy. Silly silly boy." Aizen pulled him forward fighting against Ichigo's attempts to keep from the hold. But he won through the mess of limbs forcing Ichigo into a tight hug. He held him, rocked him. Soothed his gushing tears that fell anew with a soft pat on his back. Ichigo fingers dug into the stiff shirt material Aizen wore, clenching the fabric as if that would mean he could hold on forever. Hold this man's comfort for all eternity.

"A...an...and that's it?" He sucked up a group of new sobs. "That's my reassurance?" He gave wry smile that looked like a very deep grimace. "That I'm silly?" He sniffed heartily. "Stupid me for getting worked up? All this is so trivial? Meaningless?"

"What would you expect me to have said? I thought you knew me better than that. If I am unhappy, I would have said so."

Suddenly Ichigo felt angry, as if it was all Aizen's fault. "Is everything is a business transaction? Is it mutually beneficial to remain in this status quo?"

Aizen was speechless, he didn't understand where Ichigo was going with this and he'd obviously already said the wrong thing and so he let the boy vent his anger a little more so that he might gain an insight he sorely needed.

"So what? I'm a business transaction? That makes me feel so much better thanks." Ichigo pushed himself away and clinging to the wall made himself stand.

Aizen watched him get up, he didn't know what it was, but this conversation felt like it had a make or break quality to it. "Mutually beneficial because I gain much from your presence. Much from your openness. Much from looking at you."

"I'm nothing but a huge burden, you don't have time for all this. It was only recently you got selected for mayor and..." Ichigo made his feet take him towards his bedroom, his hands searching before him wanting to avoid falling at all costs.

"Do you forget I wanted you before you were blinded?" The brunet called to the retreating figure.

Ichigo stopped at the doorway and didn't bother even turning his head back. "And now is it just pity? You can just leave me here you know. Leave and get on with your life."

"But I want you in my life." Ichigo let out a dry laugh and shook his head.

Ichigo whispered back, his voice was full of heavy emotion. "Objects can be replaced...Why do you put up with me? With this?" He opened his statement out. "You could have anybody. Anybody who isn't crippled like me."

Aizen felt the mental slap to his face, the jerk to his senses, the prickle of fear at losing Ichigo rise. He got to his feet keeping his calm, it has always saved him before. Keep it simple, don't over complicate anything. "I should make this clear Ichigo seeing as this is not the first time you have uttered such nonsense." Aizen slipped into the awkward air. "You are not a burden to me. I choose to continue our relationship, if you do not then I suggest you state so right now and do it very clearly." Business men don't waste time on ventures that show signs of being unprofitable and that always translated to their personal lives too. Their time was usually short and still ordered and predictable. Ichigo had been right to pick up on that distinction but Aizen didn't know anything but that way of life anymore.

"I can't even make a cup of tea!" Anger burst out of the red head mouth, his fingers holding the door frame with white knuckles.

"And that is the grounds for divorces all around the world?"

"Don't make light of this!"

"Why not? I find it all utterly trivial." He meant the accusations and not Ichigo's abilities or obviously valid fears. He knew it was again the wrong thing to do when the boys face looked momentarily aghast.

Ichigo scoffed and frowned heavily, his finger brushed over the tender skin as it flared in pain and he growled in annoyance. Being docile, being useless and feeling not one iota of hope Ichigo's frayed senses were at snapping point. "Trivial..." Ichigo sighed heavily into his palms as the heels ground into his eyes. He was tired, he felt shit. He wanted to crawl into a corner and just die, it would be so much easier. Argument or fear, both took more out of him then he could give right now.

"You banged the cups. That is not a big deal. Why do you expect so much more of yourself?"

"Because..." Ichigo began and his mantra ran through his mind, his momentary lapse of concentration was blowing his chances, it sounded like they were over to him. He took himself into his bedroom, shutting the door between them and sliding to the floor in quite reflection. There was too much pain to do anything, it sat like shock on his shoulders whilst everything shut down with a very audible and shattering silence.

Aizen had never anticipated the roller coaster of emotions Ichigo brought out in him. This was the biggest learning curve he had ever had to suffer in a relationship. But then no others had been like Ichigo, not felt like Ichigo from the start. This was always going to be different accident or not. He was in a quandary over how Ichigo affected him, more to the point, how this new Ichigo was affecting him. It was true that his spark for life had been the first thing to attract him, lets face it that was his usual draw to these younger men. They faced life head on and drank it up with a thirst. Ichigo's love for danger and drive to push himself to his limits to excel in his motor sport had done a great deal for Aizen's libido. He'd watched him race on numerous occasions, both before and after they had got together. The outfits had fitted his beautiful body, rising a strange fetish for leather in the older man. He'd then watched the utter devotion and concentration needed to control the hunk of metal between his legs. Seeing how sweat drenched and exhausted each ride made the kid, Aizen was always impressed at the skill level actually needed to keep a motor bike on its true course amongst a similar mass of machines. When Ichigo won, he seemed to shine, that amazing face was always cracked wide open with the largest of smiles and he revelled in the rush of adrenaline.

Their dates during that time had been full of banter and easy humour. Their tastes were not similar in anything at all, they had nothing in common and yet, there was a spark ignited out of their virgin bond. When with him, Aizen felt over awed that the man half his age wanted him, desired him. His youthful zest seemed to flow over him and the years between them drifted away.

The Ichigo now was obviously far from his comfort zone. He'd only witnessed something once before and that was when his father cut all ties. Ichigo had been devastated by the brutal withdrawal of his families support and had gone into an initial nose dive in confidence. It was that painful shouting match in his fathers home that made Ichigo resolute that no one else should know of their relationship. It seemed he could not afford to loose any more of his companions. Friendship was important to the boy, Aizen had almost had to book in appointments to see Ichigo between the groups he usually hung around with. How bitter that seemed now that those same friends were rather absent during his fight for recovery. Their telling desertion just at the point he'd had the news of the unlikely hood his sight would return, seemed like an utter betrayal of how much Ichigo had thought of them.

And just what did Ichigo think of their relationship? Telling him to leave him like that. It seemed like a common thread when the boy was confused or angry, did it actually mean he wanted to end this short lived love affair? Love? Aizen never threw that word around lightly, he'd been caught before and maybe it was just as well his thoughts had only just began to realise what his dominating desire to protect Ichigo meant. He could bail out if need be without too much damage to himself.

Only...

He had to hear it first hand to know exactly what Ichigo thought. Did he want to finish or was he just that scared of life, he didn't know what else to think? Well another first, if Ichigo wanted to finish, he was the first to ever dump the older man. Trust Ichigo of all people to gain that trophy.

With a sigh and a shake of his head, he knew he couldn't let it end like this, nothing to do with his rather oversized pride or ego, but he simply refused to be brushed off when there was so much more to still get out of this deal. He snorted at himself and for once thought himself stupid.

"Love." He said quietly to himself looking at the wooden portal separating him from Ichigo. He knew in that instant, that this little episode wasn't over as far as he was concerned. No.

Aizen stared at the door Ichigo had shut himself behind. He could hear sobbing resume and it was a terrible thing to hear. Only two paces from the door his phone rang in his pocket and he irritatedly pulled it to his ear. His voice however didn't hint one syllable of his emotions. "Speak Gin."

"I've found ya lil Starky. He's just picking his kid up from school, lil girl called Linette. Outta work right now, money kinda tight ne?"

"Address?"

"Oh Sosuke, not gonna beg me for it?"

"Gin." That tone wasn't one Gin messed with.

"Alrighty, ya such a hard man ta bargin wid!" Gin laughed and breathed out the address, not too far from this little apartment. "Hows ya trip out?"

"Difficult."

"Yeah? Well da kid probably needs to think yeah? Tosen gets all moody at times too. Mibbee its da same thing?" Aizen didn't answer right away, but he wondered if Gin had a point. The man seemed to have deeper relationships all the time quite often a few successively.

"I will speak to you later." The older man sighed looking back at the closed door.

Ichigo couldn't stop crying now matter how hard he tried. Waves of grief just flooded over him endlessly as they made up for the lost time, this should have all been spent weeks ago. He stopped momentarily as the front door shut. Panic hit him like a truck and shot physical pains through his chest.

"Sosuke?" He asked out loud. He scrambled to his feet, crashing into the door and fighting furiously for the handle. He wrenched the door open and called out again. "Sosuke?" There was no answer. "Sosuke? Sosuke!" His voice caught in his throat and he gasped at the realisation that he'd been left. He'd asked for it! He'd asked for him to go! "No!" He felt so stupid, such an idiot. He'd been left here, alone, defenceless, helpless...

It was getting dark by the time Aizen returned to the flat, even though he had only been gone for a couple of hours. The intention was to simply walk into the silent apartment & place down the take out in the kitchen. Instead the previously neat and perfectly orderly accommodation was in ruins. Broken furniture, ornaments and possessions littered the place as if a tornado had whipped on through. With his mind on alert Aizen rushed to find his lover after seeing Ichigo's door was now open. Inside the dark void the mess continued, but at least there on the floor huddled against the wall in the corner was Ichigo curled into a ball, the bed covers tugged around him in a nest. He looked exhausted, probably having cried himself to sleep.

Aizen flicked the side light on and illuminated the dim room gently. One barefoot stuck out from under the covers and made the man do a double take. Blood had pooled, not greatly but enough, from a gash underneath his heel. A broken vast not far away looked the likely culprit as its jagged broken edge held a bloody stain.

"Ichigo?" Aizen's fingers ran through the bright locks of hair. He called again louder hoping to wake his lover gently and he seemed to succeed when the younger man moaned and shifted. "Ichigo." He repeated again louder and more insistent which made the reluctant sleeper finally rouse.

"Sosuke?" Ichigo still sleepy mumbled.

"What happened here?"

"Sosuke?" Ichigo became suddenly alert and his hands came out from the duvet and searched ahead of him for the body belonging to the voice. "You came back!"

"Baka." Sosuke sighed clarity hitting home profoundly. He'd done this for him, pain for him. What a foot he was to not foresee the consequences of slipping out. "You ruined your home thinking I'd gone?" Ichigo's humiliated head dropped towards his lap. "Ichigo its time for that talk isn't it?" The younger man nodded sniffing back a fresh waves of tears, but at least this time, he could hold them back enough to not let them fall.

"Would you forgive me."

"For being foolish? No." Aizen smiled lightly and ruffled the boys hair. "For caring enough that you did this."

It was about two hours later that Aizen heard a knock on the door. He checked into the bedroom to see if it had woken Ichigo before he woke again but thankfully it hadn't. With his sleeves rolled up a dustpan and brush in hand, he opened the door.

"Sir!" Abarai Renji's face fell from the smile that had graced it to one of shocked horror. The man was wearing leathers in the same colour as Ichigo's racing set and held a helmet in his hands.

"Abarai?" Aizen had no idea that Renji and Ichigo knew each other nor that this man also raced the bikes, but it seemed he did when he had a number on his jacket one off from Ichigo's 15.

"I was passing and saw the lights, I thought Ichigo was home?" Renji like most people at work had seen that Ichigo had been injured in the accident outside their offices. "But... what are you doing here sir?"

Renji's eyes past his bosses shoulder and saw the mass destruction that was in the process of being cleared up. "Holy mother fuck, what the hell happened here?"

"Now is not a good time Abarai."

"Was he burgled?"

"Sosuke?" Ichigo's tired voice joined the fray and Aizen narrowed his eyes at Renji.

"You woke him up."

"Sosuke!" The tired voice sounded all the more alarmed for not getting a response.

"I'm here Ichigo." That followed a pained gasp and Aizen could only wonder at the younger man had got out of bed and tried to walk on his foot. Renji stepped into the flat as Aizen silently moved away from the door to the call of the Ichigo. He was more than confused by why Ichigo would have called him Sosuke and allow the man in when no one at the track even knew he was out of hospital. Granted, none of them wanted to really see Ichigo, they felt bad about his injuries and no one knew what to say to him either. Renji had tried calling into the hospital just after he was admitted but he was turned away by the staff saying Ichigo was too unwell to see anyone. His eyes glanced over the mess but turned towards the scene unfolding in the semi darkened bedroom.

Aizen held his friend by the upper arms guiding him back towards the bed.

"I heard voices." Ichigo's voice didn't sound like the brash kid he knew. It was timid and tired.

"Abarai." Aizen answered as a hand went to his forehead. The heat he'd felt earlier seemed to be increasing. "Who'll get you some water." Aizen looked at him and Renji nodded.

"I don't feel so good." Ichigo gave into the arms pushing him back. Which is why he probably wasn't protesting at the intimate touches they were having before his friend. Aizen sat him on the bed and kissed the top of his head.

"I'll call my doctor." Aizen felt sure now the heat he'd felt at the start of their journey was the start of something and he cursed his lack of care. Irritation, tiredness, raised temperature...stupidity was not something Aizen did often, but it seemed today was the day for it.

"I thought..." Ichigo suddenly burst into huge fat tears. "I thought you'd gone again!"

"I'm here, right here." He replied softly stopping his pressure to lay the man down.

"I'm scared Sosuke." Ichigo's hands clenched onto his benefactors tightly. His voice was cracking with the burning raw emotions, he could no longer hold in. All those fears and worries were surfacing and scolding his emotional banks to the point they had to be said to be extinguished.

"Of?"

"...That you'd left me..." Ichigo sobbed hard. "That you'd...that you'd...had enough of me!" Ichigo's sob turned into a pained wail at the confession he'd been holding back and Aizen sighed softly and drew the younger mail into a tight embrace.

"Never, never am I going to have enough of you." Aizen crooned turning to sit on the bed and rocking Ichigo. "You are too precious to me." He whispered into the locks of orange. Never had meant such words so strongly, so passionately, or with so much need himself.

"Really?"

"Absolutely." He smiled brushing some of tears away.

"You?...You aren't going to replace me?"

"Why would I do that?"

"I dunno...I heard..." Aizen pressed a finger into Ichigo lips to stop his ranting sobbing misconceptions.

"I am sure I would never have had enough of you, I love you Ichigo." The sobbing stopped abruptly and Ichigo's sightless eyes searched out for the face he couldn't hope to see yet valiantly tried to.

"You do?" It sounded meek and painful.

"Very much so." Aizen agreed and felt humbled when the upset creature threw himself forward with his sobbing increased again; only this time the lilting sound of relief flooded through.

The polite cough at the door reminded Sosuke that Abarai had heard all of their conversation and was waiting glass in hand at the doorway. Remembering also that Ichigo was getting rather hot, he held out his hand for the glass and pressed it to Ichigo's lips not letting up until the whole thing was emptied which seemed to drain the young man of his burst of energy and naked emotions. "Lay down now. Back to sleep while I finish cleaning up." Ichigo didn't have it in him to fight the suggestion and settled down easily.

...

I was staying at my mother-in-laws and I fell down the stairs from top to bottom, scary as shit I can tell you, especially as I was eight months pregnant at the time. I spent the rest of the day there and overnight too, not feeling too hot, but thinking I was alright. However within two minutes of getting home, I absolutely went to pieces; I was a blubbering wreck having held subconsciously onto my emotions whilst at my husband's mothers house. So this is sort of what gave me the idea for this piece. Ichigo may have had one crying fit after his intense make out with Aizen, but it wasn't really for the same reason. This however is a full on, oh shit moment.