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As they sit at the table to negotiate terms Blair can't help but notice the panic in Chuck's eyes. The doctor's appointment has done a lot to ease her own worries about this pregnancy, but she can see they have done nothing for Chuck. Knowing Chuck, he was never going to just tell her what he was so afraid of. It would have to come out here. He was going to have to put it on the table in some way. Blair was just going to have to listen to his demands very carefully and try to hear what it was that he actually wasn't saying.
"Your people called this meeting, so I think it's only fair that I get to make the first demand" She says. "Considering you got us into this mess, I hardly think that's fair." Is the reply she gets back. Ok Blair thinks, still blaming her for the pregnancy. Still not happy about it. Round about answers, but not the real source of the fear. Knowing that she had always intended for him to make the first demand, Blair concedes he can have the first set of terms with a nod of her head but adds "I can't help that I'm that 1% of extremely fertile women Bass. So drop the accusations and move on. Just put all your demands on the table and I'll respond in kind."
"Sex. Every night." That gets a gasp from Serena and looks from Nate. "Chuck, you can't dictate when Blair will want to have sex!" Serena says. Blair just waves her off with a hand. It's not like she doesn't want sex every day with Chuck anyway and if she doesn't, well she knows how to manipulate herself out of that too. "Go on." She says. "Dinners out like usual, you cut back your hours at work, you never say your too tired for me, we hire nannies plural, the child shall be seen not heard, no breast feeding. ..." Serena's face becomes more and more incredulous as the list flies out of Chuck's mouth. Blair ignores the words. She'll agree to all of them in some for or other she knows. Not because she knows Chuck is right, but because she knows he needs her too. She knows that in the end, she will be able to make him feel safe from whatever he is feeling right now to be able to do all of those things he is saying no to. Well not that she is all that certain she wants to breast feed or raise her child without a nanny anyway she thinks with a frown. After all a girl has to keep her figure. Seeing her frown Chuck pauses in his litany. "What? Have a problem Waldorf." "I think if I need to cut back my hours of work so do you." Chuck frowns as if contemplating what she is asking, but Blair is astute enough to notice that something has minutely relaxed about Chuck. "I'll take it easier in the mornings. Since it appears that you spawn of Bassdom is planning on making me sick every morning." Blair concedes. Chuck frowns and the tension is back. Okay she thinks that's something. "Your mornings are your problem." Chuck says harshly "You'll cut back evening hours." "Fine, then so will you!" Blair snaps back. Her eyes catch the release of tension. Okay, he wants our times off to be together. "And my morning issues are not just my problem. This is your baby too, you are going to hold my hair and wipe the vomit every morning I need you too. If you so much as skip out even once I will exact horrible revenge. Think of how many shoes I could destroy with one episode of morning sickness." Blair ignores Nate's horrified looks through her speech and concentrated on Chuck instead. "Fine, but you brush your own damn teeth and Darota had better get her ass in gear earlier with the tea and toast." His words are harsh, but Blair could see underneath them. She thinks she is beginning to understand a little now.
"I'll go out for dinners twice a week Chuck, but no more" "We have obligations." Chuck all but growls at her. "I know, fine no more than four, including weekends! But Chuck.." She waits until he is looking her in the eyes before continuing "the rest of the nights I expect us to have one on one time." "I'm running an empire Blair, I don't have time to be holding your hand because of some unexpected interference." "Chuck," Blair says with the tiniest hint of seduction in her voice "If you want to have sex every night, you're going to have to d a lot more than just hold my hand." She's please with the smirk that crosses his lips. "Fine, alone time on the nights we aren't going out."
Blair's mind runs over what they have agreed to and what other demands Chuck has made. "I'll agree to hire a Nanny, but I want a manny." Chuck's nostrils flare "No." He says in that tone that brooks no argument. "Chuck, be reasonable" Blair pouts "I said no" He replies. "Fine. Then I want someone ugly and old." "Old is fine, but not so ugly it scares the rest of the help or gives that..thing.. nightmares" Chuck says. "It's not a thing" Blair says her hands going to her belly. "It's our baby." She watches as Chuck's eyes follow her actions and turn dark. "Chuck, I want us to spend time with the baby after it's born. I want us to have some part is raising it before it begins to talk. I want the baby's first words to be mama or papa, not Darota like mine was." She places a hand on his cheek. "I want this baby to have more than we did. To know we are more than just its genetic donor. I want us to be what Lily is to you and my mum and dad are to me now. " She knows now, he's scared. Scared of change, scared of not being enough, scared that the baby would take her away from him. So many fears all tangled up inside him about something smaller than a pea.
"I don't think I can do that. I'm not that kind of person. You know better than anyone what I have to offer people Waldorf" Is the reply she gets. "You once promised to love a baby that wasn't even yours because it was a part of me remember" He looks at her helplessly. "How is this any different?"
"I...that baby wasn't any part of me. It was all yours." "Oh Chuck" Blair says. She knows her eyes have gotten that soft look in them. "This baby is ours. It's the best and the worst of each of us. It is Chuck and Blair. We can do this you know. Not alone. That's why we have my parent's and Lily." "And Darota," Nate pipes up "after all she raised a Blair before." Not taking her eyes off of Chuck Blair asks Nate and Serena to leave. "We can do this." She says again with all confidence.
"Everything is going to change" He says looking down at his feet. "I'm not going to love the baby more than you Chuck." His head shoots up and his eyes look searchingly into hers. Seeing truth, he shudders a little. "You know you are always going to come first. Yes, the baby is going to compete for our time, but we will make sure that we don't let that stop us from having our own time. And this baby is just going to be one more thing that loves you as much as I do."
Chuck's venerable eyes turn to her once more "It's going to hate me. I'm not a good person. My father was a shit parent. What kind of a father am I going to be." Blair kisses him. "You are a good person. Not perfect, but what fun would that be. Your father was terrible, but you've learned from that what not to be. As to what kind of parent you'll be? Well..." She pauses for dramatic effect "your Chuck Bass." She says it like it's the answer to everything, the answer to all his doubts and fears and when he smiles a little back, she knows that it is the answer.
"Now come on Bass, I'm feeling good and I want a little of that once a night deal we made" She says as she all but splays herself on the table. She smiles as delight, desire and confidence bleed into Chuck's eyes.
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