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Chapter 18

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"He hasn't woken up yet?" Dave asked anxiously as he poked his head into the isolation room.

Teyla lifted her head from where it had been resting on John's hand; his free hand that was not restrained, she was happy to see. And he had not needed them as he had slept … she looked at the clock and saw it had been at least three hours.

"He was awake for a short time after you left however he immediately went back to sleep so I did not see the point in disturbing your slumber. You were with him much of the night."

Dave's eyes viewed her nervously. "And he was okay?"

"He was tired and very weak but Dr. Lam allowed him to use the bathroom and he brushed his teeth." Teyla smiled at the memory of the kisses they had shared at this time. "He seemed to be aware of where he was and even remembered the time of his captivity. He did not speak of it much but he knew it had happened. I think he is still confused in some ways but he was much improved in his mental capacity from his first days here."

Dave walked to the end of the bed and took a good look at his brother. When he saw his free hands, he smiled. "She let him stay out of them? That's a good sign."

"Yes," Teyla's smile got wider. "He was well behaved."

"Always well behaved," John's scratchy voice floated toward them.

Dave moved swiftly around the bed to face John and gave him a large smile also. He hadn't actually been face to face or had an actual conversation with his brother since a few days after their Dad's funeral. And that conversation had been more than a little awkward, though they had certainly clarified a few things and left things okay between them.

"I'm not sure I believe that," Dave teased gently not knowing what state of mind his brother was in. "But we'll go with it for now. How are you feeling, John? We've all been a little worried about you."

"Feel like crap," John groaned as he attempted to get his eyes wider. "But then I don't really remember the last few days other than puking in the bathroom then landing on the floor. It gets a little blurry after that. How've you been?"

Dave just snickered and shook his head. "I'm fine but then people didn't think I was dead for over three months."

As soon as the words left his mouth Dave wondered if he should have said that. Had they even told John that all had assumed he had died in the explosion? He watched his brother closely with more than a little anxiety, waiting to see if his little slip would send him over the edge like had happened a few times since he got back.

"Sorry," John managed to croak and Teyla moved to get him some water. "I didn't want you to go through that."

"John," Dave gently chastised. "It was hardly your fault. Don't even worry about it. I'm just glad you're actually still alive and I know Amy is ecstatic. She'd love to come see you but apparently this place is a pretty big secret and I had to sign my life away just to get in. It's worse than trying to get into the Country Club."

John started to chuckle but then began to cough so Teyla gave him some more water and they waited until John finished and had leaned back against the pillow. Just the few coughs had taken quite a bit of energy out of him. Teyla offered him more water which he took and Dave could feel his stomach clench at the thought of all John had gone through and how he had gotten in this condition to begin with. And the fact that he had very little control over any of it was very hard to deal with. He was used to having control and being able to handle every little thing.

"How's Amy and the kids?" John asked as another small cough erupted from his throat. "They're getting so big."

"They're fine," Dave answered. "Worried about you but they know I'm here and that you're getting good care now. I was thinking that if you start feeling a little better I might fly home for the weekend to spend some time with them. I should probably make sure my VP didn't run the company into the ground either."

"Dad had that company run so tight it would take a long time for someone to screw it up, I'm sure," John commented and Dave wondered if there wasn't a bit of resentment in that statement. But he didn't want to get into a fight with John. He certainly didn't think his brother was up for anything stronger than a short conversation.

"Don't feel like you have to sit around here and babysit me, Dave," John added seriously. "I really appreciate that you came, though. And you were really ready to give up the whole company to get me back, huh? Or is that just a nasty rumor I heard?" John tried to put some humor into the last inquiry.

Dave remained serious though. "You're my brother, John. I'd do anything for you. I know it didn't always seem that way and I'm sorry about that. But I realized after Dad died that not everyone is here forever and you need to take advantage of the time you have with people. You never know when they might be taken away from you."

John swallowed hard and thought of how he had felt at their father's funeral. He'd had lots of regrets and knew he would have given anything to have some more time with him; even if to just let him know he was sorry for being an absolute screw up and that he really had loved him. He looked up at his brother.

"Thanks, I'd love to have you around if you can stay. But you need to make sure you take care of that family too. You should take off and spend the weekend with them and if you want to come back later, that'd be great. But I have a feeling I may be in here for a while so there's really not much you can do except sit here and watch me sleep. Got to admit that's pretty boring."

John looked over at Teyla who was holding his hand tightly. "Luckily, Teyla likes boring."

Teyla just rolled her eyes and replied, "Nothing about you, John Sheppard, is ever boring."

She leaned over and kissed his cheek. "But I am wondering if perhaps Sam is bored of watching Torren. I should probably go and relieve her. Will you be all right here with just David?"

John gave his brother an impish smirk and said, "I guess so, if I have to." Then he looked back at Teyla and asked, "Do you think they'll let you bring TJ back in here. I promise to be a good boy."

"Dr. Lam said it would be possible," Teyla told him. "But she wished to assess your condition first. I will contact her and then get Torren. Hopefully I will be able to bring him in. But be prepared to play the Little Piggies game with his toes. He has demanded this constantly in the last few days but I do not think anyone does it as well as you."

John's smile was genuine and Dave could see how much the child meant to him. Teyla gave John one last kiss and left. John leaned back more comfortably against the pillows and closed his eyes.

Dave allowed him his rest and sat in the chair that was nearby but he had barely settled himself when John's eyes popped open and he grinned at Dave. "Have you met my son, TJ, yet?"

Dave was startled that John had called him his son. No one here had referred to the child as John's but he had never heard anything about the boy's father either. Had John and Teyla hidden the fact of his parentage from the others due to regulations? Teyla had been introduced to him as part of John's team.

He smiled at John and answered. "Yes, a few times. The first time was when he was trying to escape from having his shoes put on in the hotel right before your … funeral. He's adorable, John."

John smiled like a proud papa and chuckled. "Yeah, he really doesn't like to wear shoes too much. Until he could walk it wasn't a huge deal but now … it's a little more important."

Dave nodded. "Yeah, I remember that Kristy was like that, too. We'd wrestle her into her shoes and the second she was in her carseat, they'd pop off again. As soon as we'd get her in the house they'd be off, too. It was like this magnetic force as soon as she walked through the door. She's a little better now but she still keeps them off as long as she can. Luckily she's old enough to get them on by herself now too. That makes it a little easier."

John smiled at the normal conversation he and his brother were having and kind of liked it. Maybe now that they were both Dads, they had more in common. How had he not noticed this before? John pushed into his mind and confusion warred again. Images of Teyla pregnant and himself holding the baby swirled with memories of Teyla and him taking TJ to the park. But something wasn't right and he wasn't sure he wanted to delve too deep to figure out what. He knew he wasn't up to that physically or emotionally yet.

Dr. Lam came in and got John's mind away from his bewildered thoughts. "Colonel, you had a nice long nap. That's excellent. Let me check your vitals and then we can see if that little boy in the hallway can come visit."

She put her stethoscope in her ears and pressed it to his chest in a few locations then had him lean forward so she could listen to his back. She had him take a few deep breaths in that made him cough then allowed him to settle back again. She took the other vitals quickly and started asking him questions as she did.

"So just a little quiz. What's your name?"

John rolled his eyes at her and said, "Lt. Colonel John Sheppard. My middle name is Patrick and this is my brother David Sheppard. His middle name is also Patrick. Apparently our parents had very little imagination. You are Dr. Carolyn Lam and you are the daughter of General Landry. Would you like my date of birth and social security number as well?"

Carolyn just glared at him as she took the BP cuff off his arm. "Seems like you're definitely feeling a little better if you can start dishing out the jokes, Colonel. I'd like to get you up and walking a bit before Teyla comes back in with Torren; perhaps a trip to the bathroom. We need to get that fluid in your lungs from sitting right where it is. But I don't want you attempting to move around without help for a while."

"Do you want me to help you, John?" Dave offered and John nodded. Carolyn thought that was a very good sign that Sheppard was allowing someone other than Teyla to help him and didn't even seem nervous about it.

She watched as David helped the Colonel out of bed and they both walked to the bathroom. A few minutes later and the sound of flushing and rushing water, they came back out. Carolyn knew the man shouldn't stay stationary for any length of time but she could also tell that just the short walk to the bathroom had worn him out.

Once back in bed she assessed him further. "Do you think you're up for a visit from a toddler? He looks very active to me and I don't want you getting too over tired."

"He'll be fine," John assured her. "He's really a very good boy and if we tell him to settle down, he will. Teyla said he wanted to come see me so he'll stay calm if that's his choice."

Carolyn nodded and moved aside the IV that she had unhooked so he could use the bathroom. "I'll leave this off for now but I don't want this visit to be too long and wear you out. And I want you to have something to eat as well. I'll have someone send up some broth and a nutrition shake. I want you to start having a few of these each day along with your regular meals. Though the meals will be light for a while to ease you back into eating again but we need to get some weight back on you, Colonel."

John smiled and repeated, "Regular meals, I like the sound of that. Just … no oatmeal for a while, please."

"Absolutely, Colonel," Carolyn agreed. "I'll go and tell Teyla that she can come in with Torren. But remember no wrestling around with him too much. You still have bandages all down your back."

As she left John started to shift on the bed. Dave saw him grimace in pain and immediately moved closer. "What are you doing, John?"

John grimaced again as he lifted the head of the bed and bent one leg under him to settle on his hip. "My butt's still sore from too many hours of sitting on it. I'm just trying to find a position that's comfortable but where I can still hold my son."

Dave got a small pillow from the shelf and positioned it behind John's back to keep him from leaning too heavily on that or his bottom. John leaned against it and sighed in relief. "Thanks, Dave, that's better."

"Dada!" came a little voice from the doorway and both men looked up to see a beaming Teyla moving toward them with the little boy in her arms. "Dada!"

The smile on John's face was bright enough to light up a whole stadium. He held out his hands and Teyla eased the child into them. "He was very excited when I told him we would possibly be able to see you. He has been asking to come so often since he visited the other day. He did not understand why he could not visit you while you had your fever. If Dr. Lam had said no I am not sure I could have controlled him to get him back to the room."

"Well, I gave her my name, rank and serial number and promised not to go fruity on her," John reported as he gave Torren a great big hug. The boy wrapped his arms around John's neck and held on tight as if he might be taken away at any time.

Dave noticed this closeness and attachment and how the child had called John, Dada. Again questions of this child's paternity reared up in his mind. He would need to ask Teyla at some point when neither John nor the boy was around. He didn't want to ask any of the other people around here in case it was something John and Teyla had been keeping to themselves. But how could anyone not see how much these two cared about each other?

"Hey Pal, have you been good for your Mom while I've been sick?" John said as he pressed a few kisses to the child's face.

Torren nodded and said, "Dada, dot boo boo?"

"Yeah, Pal, Daddy's been a little sick lately but I'm starting to get better. Soon I'll be great and then we can go to the park again."

Torren's eyes grew wide at John's words. "Do side and wee?" he asked excitedly.

"We can go on the slide and the swings, sure. But it might be a while before Daddy is able to go there so you need to be patient, okay. Can you be patient?"

Dave could tell Torren wasn't exactly sure what that meant but he nodded anyway. He watched as John and the boy chatted for a while though he really didn't understand most of what the child was saying. But John seemed to know or at least he put up a real good show if his responses were anything to go by.

Dave also watched Teyla during this time as she helped John eat the broth that was brought in and kept Torren occupied. He could see all the emotions play across her face. She was relieved that John was well enough and lucid enough to be with Torren and she absolutely loved seeing them interact. He even noticed a few tears slip out of the corner of her eye on occasion when either John or TJ would snuggle against the other or say something heartwarming.

He found it very heartwarming too. He hadn't seen John too often with kids and didn't realize his brother had a nice way with children. His interaction with his niece and nephew had been sporadic and usually during a very trying time, like right after the funeral. He'd like John to really get to know them better, once he fully recovered that is.

After a while he began to feel like a third wheel so he walked closer and patted Torren on the head. "It looks like you've got plenty of company now and your fever isn't making you nuts anymore. I was thinking maybe I'd head back home and see my wife and kids. I'll make sure to stay in touch with Teyla daily so I know what's happening. I can come back next week or even sooner if you need me."

"That's fine, Dave," John answered solemnly. "I really appreciate your coming and hanging out. But I'll be fine. I've got Teyla keeping her eye on me and she doesn't let me get away with anything. Hopefully I'll be out of here soon and we can get the whole family together."

Dave smiled. "Amy would love that and I know the kids are anxious to see you as well. You're sure you don't mind?"

John just shook his head and said, "Go! Give Amy and the kids my love and we'll see you soon."

Dave stuck out his hand and John shook it but he paused again. He gave a big sigh then smiled at John. "Don't let me hear that you've been causing trouble again, okay little brother."

John just rolled his eyes and lifted TJ in front of him. "Say good bye to Uncle Dave and tell him to stop worrying."

"Bye!" Torren shouted and Dave leaned down to give him a tiny kiss on his chubby cheek. Dave then gave Teyla one too saying, "Please call me and let me know how he's doing."

"I will," Teyla agreed and smiled at him. Dave took one last look at his brother and left the room, asking one of the guards to let General Landry know he was planning to leave. Then he headed back to his room to pack.

John watched as his brother left and his face showed more confusion. It had been a short visit but it had been kind of nice. But it was just one more thing that had seemed out of place. Hadn't he, Teyla and Torren gone to Nantucket with Dave and his family recently? And if so, why did he feel like they should be awkward around each other. It just didn't make sense like so many things around here.

But what did make sense was TJ playing in his lap and trying to pull his shoes off. John was surprised he had lasted this long with them on. He looked down at the little boy and helped him with his socks, making him fall over when he did this. The child just giggled his little baby laugh then stuck his feet in the air so John could play with them.

John obliged and grabbed his tiny feet and stuck them next to his nose. "Oh, pew, pew, pew pew, stinky toes. What do we do with stinky toes?"

Torren waved his feet in the air again and cried out, "Piddies wee, Dada, wee!"

"Wee, huh," John teased the boy the pulled the toes closer to his mouth. "I think I need to eat these pigs."

John opened and closed his mouth in a chewing motion and Torren squealed happily then kicked his feet. Teyla just watched and tried to keep from laughing herself. The two of them so loved to be together and it did her heart good to see them that way. They had been like this before John was taken and for whatever reason Torren had been a part of John's fantasy world that he had created for himself and had not forgotten the man. For this Teyla was truly thankful though certainly very confused.

She stood up while they played and refilled John's cup and straightened a few things in the room. As she moved she noticed Ronon standing near the door but trying to stay out of sight. She knew he was missing his friend and maybe since John was in such a good mood it would be a good time to introduce a new person back into John's life.

"John," Teyla interrupted the man playing with her son. "I am wondering if you would be fine with seeing Ronon. I know he has been anxious to see you and make sure you are recovering well. Is this something you would be comfortable with?"

"Ronon?" John said and for a second something like pain flashed across his mind. But he knew Ronon was his friend, right? They covered each other's back, didn't they? "It's really Ronon?" John asked cautiously.

Teyla moved closer and ran her hand over his hair. "It is really Ronon. Of this I am sure. You must trust me, John. I would not allow anyone to come in here who would hurt you. Do you trust me?"

John looked down at the little boy in his lap who was so real and was drooling real spit onto his hand so Teyla must be telling the truth. This would really be Ronon. He looked up at her and gave a cautious smile.

"Sure, it'd be great to see Ronon. And I do trust you, Teyla. You know that, right? I know you'd never hurt me just like I'd never hurt you or TJ."

Teyla nodded, leaned down and gave John a small kiss then moved toward the door. He watched carefully as Teyla spoke with someone outside the room then he saw a large figure move to stand in the doorway. It certainly looked like Ronon but John had been fooled before. What day was it? John wondered. Was it Thursday? But then all his days had been mixed up lately. If today was Thursday then he should have had his shock therapy yesterday. But he didn't remember that. Come to think of it he didn't remember much of the past few days but he knew he hadn't gotten his whipping or beating lately.

And Teyla and Dave had been here all day and they had brought Torren. Had he finally succumbed and just stayed inside his escape world for good? Was this really his escape or was this reality? He and Teyla had been together every day for so long that he now thought of this as real, wasn't it? He and Teyla and Torren; they were a family. And if that was the case then Ronon could be here, right? He was a friend of the family. Yeah that worked. In John's mind it worked.

But there was still a tiny bit of doubt that plagued John. He looked up and gave Ronon a smile. "Hey!"

Ronon's mouth twisted into his version of a smile and he repeated, "Hey." Then he took a small step forward as if not wanting to come too close too fast. But then he smirked and said, "When are you gonna get your lazy ass out of bed, Sheppard? You been lying around here for almost a week."

John actually snorted when he heard this. No one but Ronon ever spoke to him this way. Oh, McKay might insult him but he'd do it in a much more derogatory way using longer words. But this was Ronon not some snakehead pretending to be him. He was pretty sure. And some of the anxiety went away.

"Been waiting for you to come break me out of this place," John snapped back and he saw Ronon's face grin even more. "They've had me restrained for most of the time. Where the hell were you and why didn't you get me out of here?"

Ronon now walked right up to the bed and apologized. "Sorry, Buddy, they wouldn't let me near. Said you were delusional and stuff."

John heard Ronon call him buddy and also Sheppard. The memory of the other 'Ronon' came into his mind and how he had called him 'Colonel'. That had been one of the telling signs that had let him know he was being tricked again. Ronon had never called him Colonel; he usually called him Sheppard or Buddy and even occasionally John.

"Yeah, it's um …" John tried to explain but felt confusion war inside him again. There were too many images and memories floating around in there. "I was , uh … not feeling too great. Hoping I'll get better soon."

John felt TJ crawl toward his chest and lay his head on John's shoulder. It must be getting close to nap time. John smiled at the feel of TJ snuggled against him. "They keep letting my son come visit and I'll get better much quicker. That and a few of Teyla's kisses; those always seem to work."

Ronon swung his gaze to Teyla at John's words and Teyla's frantic eyes glared at him not to say anything. Ronon knew enough about Sheppard's supposed fantasy world that he may have created to keep himself sane that he stayed quiet and didn't make a comment. But had his friend created a world where Torren was his son?

When he thought about it, it made complete sense. He had always thought Sheppard had been kicking himself when he found out Teyla was pregnant. He knew John had major feelings for their teammate for a long time but the man was too professional and maybe even too scared to make any moves on her. But in his fantasy world, he could do whatever made him happy. And he knew having Teyla and Torren be his would make the man very happy. Now he just wondered what Teyla planned to do about it.

She was sitting on the edge of the bed and had been holding Sheppard's hand and running her fingers through his hair since the man had gotten in here. He had even seen her give him a few chaste kisses. They had certainly never done that before Sheppard had been taken. Was Teyla just planning on playing along hoping Sheppard would eventually remember everything? Or was she hoping that he wouldn't remember everything and they could continue on from where Sheppard's fantasy world left off?

Ronon knew this stuff was complicated. Right now on the surface Sheppard seemed like he was fine. But if he really though Torren was his kid, then he wasn't fine; he was still delusional. And Ronon wondered how long that would last. And looking at how Sheppard was acting with the kid right now, he wondered what the fall out would be when he did finally realize the child wasn't his.

He stood and watched as both Sheppard and Torren began to nod off and he knew enough about his friend to know that Sheppard wouldn't want anybody around when that did finally happen.

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