Jasper's fingers dug into the thin fabric of his father's shirt as he held onto the man for dear life. A part of him berated himself unmercifully for his childish need for the reassurance of his father's continued love, but he couldn't deny the revitalization his soul gained through this post punishment ritual. It was almost as if he was no longer the self-sufficient hundred sixty odd year old man who had lead armies and survived horrors that others could never dream of. The mighty protector of his mate and vicious predator of lore and nightmares had suddenly vanished. In his place stood a disobedient six year old that needed his father's gentle guidance, correction and care; Jasper needed his Daddy.
Carlisle ran his fingers through his son's fair locks while he continued to whisper words of loving encouragement as he held Jasper close. Each tear that the younger man shed delivered his father a step deeper into hell, but the elder bore this pain safe in the knowledge that the torturous tears also had the potential to free his boy's soul from the grips of guilt. With Jasper's continuing sobs, Carlisle began to experience the pangs of regret for the pain his words and actions had inflicted upon the youth. He could feel his son's sadness as keen as a knife blade as Jasper's pathokinesis ran amuck. He knew that there was no point in a reprimand given that, in his broken down emotional state, his brave solider could not be held accountable for his overactive ability. Both father and son would simply have to battle the emotional turmoil until it naturally subsided. Carlisle could only hope that his quiet support and gentle words would help bring about that resolution sooner than later.
"Shh. It's all over, Jasper. All has been forgiven. You were very brave and I'm proud of you, Son."
To Carlisle's shock, his words seemed to have the opposite effect on his boy than he had planned as they spurned a new round of grief driven tears. "Tóg go bog é. Shhh. Suaimhneas. Calm, Jazz. Análaigh. Just breathe, son. Everything is going to be alright."
Jasper shook his head as he fought to regain control over his raging emotions. Following his father's advice he took several deep breaths before they began to have the desired calming effect. As his anguish began to abate he sniffled softly then muttered quietly, "Don't be proud of me. I've done nothing to make you proud."
With a heavy sigh, Carlisle laid his cheek on top his son's head. "You always make me proud, Jasper. You made a few mistakes, but you didn't try to hide from them and that is something to be proud of."
"They were the actions of a child; stupid childish mistakes. Things that I knew full better than to do but was too infantile not to do them."
"Some were childish," Carlisle agreed as he eased Jasper back a bit to allow him to look his son in the eye. "What really matters is that you responded to them as a man. You took responsibility for your mistakes and accepted the consequences for your actions. That is all that I can ask of you, Son. That is all anyone can ask.
Like I said, I don't expect you to be perfect. We all make mistakes. I know I do on a regular basis; often extremely foolish ones at that. You try to correct them to the best of your ability, make amends if you can, learn from them so you can avoid them in the future and then forgive yourself and move on."
Jasper held his father's unwavering gaze for several long moments then sighed softly. "The last part of that is damn difficult, Papa."
"I know Jazz, but I also know that you are more than up to the task." Carlisle smiled as he squeezed the boy's shoulder.
Jasper smiled weakly and nodded before he lowered his head and whispered, "Thank you, Papa."
"For what, Son?"
"For everything. For having faith in me that I don't seem to have in myself. For caring enough to call me out on my bullshit even though I don't want to face it. For… for just being there and for being willing to be a father to me, which often seems like a great deal more than I deserve."
Carlisle's vision blurred as venom welled up to coat his eyes. For once he was grateful that his son had looked away from him as it gave him the chance to blink back the tears before they could fall. Pulling the boy into his embrace he kissed the top of Jasper's head.
"No. Thank you, Son, for having made my family complete." Carlisle cleared his throat as he attempted to shield his son from the emotions welling up within him. "All my human life and into this existence, the one thing I have wanted most in the entire world was a family to call my own. You, Alice, Esme, Rose, Emmett and Edward have made that dream a reality. That is a precious thing that no amount of wealth could ever buy. I truly am the luckiest man in the world and I have you to thank for it."
His son's soft sniffling drew his focus. Gently he pushed the boy back enough to let Jasper see the tears in his own eyes before he chuckled quietly. "What a pair we make, huh?"
Jasper rubbed the venom from his eyes as a smile grew on his face. "Apparently it really is true."
Carlisle cocked his head to the side, a questioning look on his face.
"Well you know… it's what they say all the time; like father, like son."
Carlisle laughed as he ruffled up Jasper's hair then gently helped the boy off his lap and onto his feet. Jasper quickly pulled his pants back up, wincing as the heavy fabric made contact with his sore backside.
"You know, Papa, between you and Alice, I don't even know why I bother to wear pants anymore. It would seem that life would be simpler if I just traipsed around in my boxers since at the very least I'm going to be down to just them eventually anyway. Save a step by cutting out the middleman."
"Somehow, I don't think the school dress code would agree with that, Jasper, nor the general public. Besides, if you could manage to keep yourself out of trouble you would only have Alice to worry about when it comes to that. I have to believe the pleasure involved there makes the inconvenience of undressing a very small price to pay. I know I never minded in the least." Carlisle gave Jasper a wink as he smiled at his son.
Jasper's hand stilled while zipping up his jeans as he raised his eyes to glance at his father. "I am so not discussing this with you."
"You were the one who brought it up, Son." The elder's eyes sparkled as he grinned at his boy's discomfort.
Jasper simply shook his head then, though reluctant to end this bonding moment with his father, softly spoke as he started towards the door. "Guess I'll head down stairs. I'm a thinkin' my help is required with the greenhouse clean up. Can't let my siblings do all the work."
His father's gentle voice stopped him in his tracks. "Jasper, you haven't been dismissed. We're not quite through here."
The boy turned back towards his father, a look of utter confusion on his face. "But you said…"
"Your punishment is over, son, but there is still one little issue that we need to address. Something that, in light of today's events, became much less significant, but still needs to be brought up." Carlisle patted the seat next to him then smirked as Jasper grimaced. "I apologize, Jazz. I wasn't thinking. Standing will work just as well."
"Thank you, Sir."
Jasper's training kicked in as he came to attention with his hands locked behind his back and head held high, causing his father to shake his head.
"Jasper, when I tell you to do something, I expect compliance. Unlike many in my position, I am not inclined to give orders, but that doesn't mean that you can treat my request as optional suggestions."
"Sir, if I may be free to speak."
"You are."
"I would never go against a direct ord… request from you. I respect you too highly for that, Sir; both as my leader and as my father."
Carlisle slowly released a held breath as he stood to look his son in the eyes. "Jasper, I want you to think for a moment. I know that you don't realize it right now, but what you just said was a false statement. If you can't recall the incident I will fill in the blanks for you, though I feel that you will benefit more from self-realization."
Jasper's forehead furrowed as he tried to think of an instance where he would have even dared to ignore Carlisle. His father had just asked him to sit and he had been slow to respond, but Carlisle relented and allowed him to stand. He had offered his submission to his father's authority in regards to his punishment. He had allowed himself to be led from the room without incident when he was interfering with Emmett and remained where Carlisle had told him to stay. He hadn't talked to anyone while he had stood miserably waiting in the hallway. He had…..
Carlisle heard his son's breath catch then very slowly leave his body. Jasper turned his eyes towards the floor as the memory seized his mind. He had indeed disobeyed a direct order and worse he had challenged Carlisle in the process. The boy closed his eyes as he inhaled deeply. He focused on the ticking of the grandfather clock in the corner while he tried to decide what he could possibly say and what his father's next actions would be.
"Papa…"
"Open your eyes and face me, Son."
Jasper swallowed back the thick venom coating his throat before he raised his head and caught his father's eyes.
"I'm sorry. I don't know what to say apart from that it won't happen again."
Carlisle sighed softly. "It will continue to happen until you make a serious effort to rein in your instincts. If you can deny your thirst for human blood, it should be a cake walk to temper your over protectiveness." Jasper's head drooped at his father's reprimand, but Carlisle simply ducked his head to look into his son's wide troubled eyes. "Should it happen again, punishment shall be swift, this I promise you. You can expect to find my belt across your backside right where you stand, in front of Alice and any others present, then you will be formally disciplined later. I will not be challenged, young man. Also, I don't feel that I make very many actual demands of any of you, so to have those requests so blatantly ignored is extremely disrespectful in my eyes. Jasper, you know well enough that disrespect is something I am rather intolerant of. It will not happen again. Am I making myself clear?"
The boy nodded. "Abundantly clear, Sir."
"Excellent. Then we shall hopefully never have to speak of this issue again." Carlisle patted his son on the shoulder then walked over to open the door to allow him to leave only to find that Jasper had not followed. "Jazz, you can go now. The others will be looking for you."
Jasper swallowed nervously as he looked down. "My punishment?"
Carlisle looked at the boy for a few moments then nodded. "Cleaning up the mess you made outside is part of it. You are still grounded of course, but with the exception of a few extra chores here and there and rebuilding your mother's greenhouse your punishment is complete. I do expect you to remain on your best behavior this time. Whatever you do, don't fall for any of your brother's schemes again because if you do... Well just rest assured that I am keeping that paddle for just such emergencies and I'm not afraid to use it." Carlisle's eyes softened as a gentle smile lit up his face in an attempt to make Jasper realize that he wasn't entirely serious.
With a slight shake of the head Jasper spoke again in a tone that carried a little more confidence. "My punishment for disobeying and challenging you, Papa."
"The lecture was your punishment, Jasper. I wanted you to realize your mishap and you have done so. You have given me your word that there will be no repetition of last night's behavior and I believe you. Nothing more need be said or done on this matter."
"But…."
"No, buts." Carlisle ran a hand through his hair as he walked back over towards Jasper and leaned against his desk. "Alright, Son, you wish to be punished for your infraction? Fine. I want you to sit down at my desk and write me an essay on the properties of and reasons for compassion, mercy, and clemency. I want your thoughts on how you believe you can learn to accept forgiveness from others and, more importantly, achieve self-forgiveness. You need to understand how important it is to forgive yourself, Jasper. Maybe this little exercise will help.
Once you've completed your assignment come get me and we'll read over it together. I might still be able to teach you a few things, but first I want to see what you come up with on your own. Come on. Take a seat."
Jasper looked at the chair in disgust then shifted his gaze back to his father. "Do I have to?"
"I'm afraid so, Jazz. Maybe that little extra bit of discomfort will give you a better idea of why it is important to be willing to accept mercy when it's offered." He watched as his son slipped behind the desk and eased himself down onto the chair with a quiet hiss. "Be happy that it's padded instead of hard wood."
His son huffed as Carlisle placed a legal pad and several pens in front of him.
"Get to work, Jasper and while you are doing that I'm going to go pitch in and help with your part of the cleanup. Come get me when you believe you're through."
Carlisle patted the boy's back before heading towards the door.
"You never said how long you wanted it."
"As long as it takes for the message to get through. The length is entirely up to you to decide, Son. I know that you will figure it out. I'll even give you a little bit to start with. One of the benefits of forgiving yourself is that it allows you to let go of the past and live in the present. If you had simply accepted my forgiveness you could be heading outside right now to rake up glass with me instead of being stuck inside mulling over mistakes. Which do you think really serves you better?" Carlisle smiled gently. "It takes an awful lot of energy to live in a state where you aren't free to forgive yourself. Don't you think that energy could be put to much better and more creative uses? I'm sure Alice would have a few suggestions as to what that energy could go to." He gave his son a wink as he headed out the door calling back, "Come get me when you're done. I'll save a section of the yard for you to rake up."
Jasper shuddered at the his father's mention of his sex life. Does he have to do that all the time? I swear that man knows no shame. In frustration, he tapped his pen against the pad of paper as he sighed before writing the word "Forgiveness" across the top of the page. "Why is that always so much easier said than done? Shit, I can forgive others all day without a problem, but forgive myself?" He snorted in disgust as he began to scribble a few words in the hopes that his ideas would start to flow. "It would be easier to teach a dog to fly."
"That's what a catapult is for," Emmett called out as he raced past the door on his way down the stairs. "Hurry it up, Jazzman. Going to need your help to teach Pops that we are more bad ass than he is. Once we get the yard cleaned up he is challenging us to some football. I need you on my team, Bro. Don't let me down."
Jasper heard the door bang closed followed by the sound of splintering wood. "Oops, my bad. Sorry, Pops! I'll fix it," then Emmett was gone.
Shifting in the chair to ease the ache in his behind, Jasper began to work in earnest. He could do this. He would do this. He would learn the lesson his father was trying to teach him and then he would save his brother from himself. What was learning to forgive compared to saving his moose of a brother from destroying everything in his path? "Piece of cake," he muttered with a grin as his pen flew over the paper while his thoughts freely flowed. "I'm coming to save you, Emmy. I'm a comin'."
AN: This does kinda end this one, but it has been suggested that I have one more chapter with Jasper serving out his sentence at the hospital. What do y'all think?
Special thanks to Splinter for all her hard beta work. Thanks to everyone for your comments, suggestions, reviews, pms, adds and likes... just thanks for all the support. Y'all really are wonderful.
Impromptu Irish Gaelic lesson three: Tóg go bog é translates as "Take it easy". Suaimhneas means "Calm". Análaigh means "Breathe." ... now thinking about it, I have to wonder if Jasper is thinking "What in the hell are you trying to say, old man? Speak English. I'm from Texas for crying out loud!"
