Chapter Seventeen

Donna was a mess. Sammy was trying to calm her down; she shouldn't really be worked up like this. "I'm just worried," she said.

Sammy nodded, understanding where Donna was coming from, "When will Harvey be back?" They both knew he really meant, "Will Harvey be back in time for the baby to be born?"

"He'll be here in a month," she said. "Two weeks before my due date." She remembered their conversation at the train station that morning:

"I'll be back before this little girl makes an appearance," Harvey said (promised) to Donna.

She rolled her eyes at him, "Or little boy." In her head, she knew the timeframe Harvey was thinking of was wrong; she was closer to her due date than he thought. But, by her calculation, he would be back in time. "I wish I was going with you," she continued.

He nodded. "It's fine. I'll just send your love to Stephen."

"Do that," Donna said, trying to keep her tears at bay when thinking about Stephen. "Tell him I'll kick his ass if he's not here for the holidays this year, he still owes me a performance of 'Baby, it's cold outside'."

Harvey smiled, recalling how Stephen and Donna would always do a duet of that song where they really emphasized all the sexual innuendos. "Will do," he assured her.

She pulled him in for a rare hug, hanging on to his neck with such strength. Harvey breathed in her scent, allowing his arms to encircle her waist. It was really hard to hug when one was pregnant but they made do. Finally, Donna let go and said, "We'll be here when you get back."

Harvey nodded back, still hanging on to her hand. He gathered up his courage, giving Donna a quick and chaste kiss on the forehead before heading to the train platform, waving back at her only once.

Sammy motioned for Donna to finally sit down. She did, saying, "You know, I've actually considered just having the baby tell him."

He laughed. "That would go over well," he answered her.

She laughed too. "Yes," Donna said, "then it won't be my problem anymore."

"In all seriousness, though, Donna-bear," Sammy said, as she squint her eyes at the use of her nickname, "you've not been telling him on purpose."

"What?" she said, incredulous. "His brother was just diagnosed with cancer again; I couldn't really spring this on him, too. And you know the reasons for all the other times before."

He looked at her, eyebrow raised, "Please, you're Donna Paulsen. If you wanted someone to know something, then they would know."

She was angrier now, "What are you saying, Sammy? That I don't want to tell Harvey about his own kid?"

"Okay," he said carefully, "first off, calm down. This is just my honest opinion."

"Well, your honest opinion stings a little," she rebuked, glaring at him.

"It's just you push away, especially when it comes to Harvey," he replied, "and maybe you've been doing it for so long that you don't even realize." Before she could interrupt, Sammy held up his hand, "Let me finish. I'm not saying he's not at fault, too; because he is, for never braving the lines you keep drawing across you guys. But, you have to admit, you still haven't accepted how you felt about him."

Donna remained quiet. So he continued, "I think you have made Zoe as too much of an obstacle in all this. I know he said he wanted to date her and have babies with her; but from your stories, that came after the fact that you assured him you weren't in love with him, that you loved him like a brother or a cousin. A guy takes those things seriously."

Sammy saw Donna swallow tentatively. "I think you're scared to tell him (about him being the father) because you know that you're conversation wouldn't end at you telling him you guys are about to have a baby. You're scared because you'll finally have to admit to yourself and to him how you really feel. That, in one way or another, this 'game' you two have been playing with each other for so long will finally reach a conclusion. And you're scared at who the victor would be."

Donna looked at Sammy in the eye, her gaze telling him that he was hitting all the right spots. So he continued, "The way I see it, though…I think you both will come out the winner. No question. I think in Harvey talk, he's already told you how he feels. But it's you who's always been insecure about all that. You shouldn't look for a guarantee with him, Donna; not where you don't give him any yourself."

Donna let out a huge breath. A beat. "You're right," she finally said, "I know you are but it's just easier said than done. Mine and Harvey's collective history has been long and it's filled with moments of what-ifs and could've-beens but until recently, we'd always fought it. When we left the District Attorney's office, and he finally started working for Jessica, we almost…" She sighed but continued, "But it wasn't the right time and it just became a lot easier to let the feelings fade, but it was tiring. When I told him I wasn't in love with him, I was actually telling him the truth…until two seconds later when he was telling me he needed me and that he couldn't be himself without me."

Sammy took her hands in his and smiled encouragingly as Donna continued, "Now…now, I just want to fix us, however way I can."

..::..

Harvey was going to fix this, in any way possible. He had just talked to Stephen's doctors – all three of them—and they all told him that his brother's chances were slim. He refused to believe that, though. They told him the same thing three years ago and his brother had beat the cancer then, he has no doubt that Stephen can do it all again.

He approached his brother's room and composed himself. "Hey, Stevie," he greeted.

His brother looked up at him from his hospital bed, confusion on his face. "Hey," he greeted Harvey. "Where's –"

Harvey sighed, "Oh, I haven't told you about Donna, have I? Thanks by the way, I come all the way here and you look for her!"

Stephen laughed. "Well, you can't blame me. She's a much a better sight to behold. Why didn't she come with you? Did you channel your inner idiot and fire her again?"

Harvey gave him a look and sat on the chair beside his bed. He let out a sigh. "Donna's too pregnant to come here, she wanted to, though."

Stephen smiled at him, questioning, "What? You didn't tell me I was going to be an uncle! Finally."

Harvey stared at his brother, "I didn't tell you because you're not!"

"Are you telling me Donna is having a baby with some other guy?" Stephen exclaimed. When he saw his brother nod his head slowly, "Well, is she marrying him?"

"She told me that she wasn't," Harvey replied. "But, I mean…"

Stephen was held aback, "What about the –?"

"Oh, I brought that," Harvey said, not letting his brother finish. He reached into his bag and pulled out a small brown leather box. It was their grandmother's ring, given to Harvey by their father. "See? This is why you have to get better. It is up to you to find a girl for this ring now!"

Stephen scoffed. "I'm not taking that! Dad gave it to you and we both know he only had one woman in mind when it came to that ring. It is not my fault you couldn't seal the deal on that, you'll have to explain that one to Dad!"

Harvey knew Stephen would say that and saw his brother shaking his head at him. "What?" he said.

"Tell me the whole story," Stephen said. And so Harvey did, not leaving out any details…well, he skipped over some uncomfortable parts; even he wouldn't share those with Stephen.

By the end, Stephen looked at Harvey quizzically. He knew Donna, he knew her very well. He thinks maybe it helped a bit that he wasn't in love with her like his brother was and therefore, not blind to how she actually felt and how it affected her actions.

"Let me get all this clear," he said to Harvey. "You asked Donna for help to score with another chick, and then proceeded to sleep with her instead…finally fulfilling the one thing you've wanted for like more than a decade." Harvey nodded tentatively as Stephen continued. "Then, she told you she was randomly seeing some guy, you believed her; then when she told you that she was pregnant, you opted to explode at her and not actually listen to the whole story?"

Harvey shrugged, "I didn't want to hear any more of what she had to say. She was having someone else's baby. I didn't realize how unpleasant that would sound."

Stephen nodded apprehensively. "Yes, your words; not hers," he mumbled, and then, "But, you were the one who was there to feel the baby's first kick? Then, she basically allowed you in on the naming process and also the whole baby furniture shopping? And all this happened and she also told you she wasn't marrying the George guy?"

"Are you writing some sort of summary?" Harvey asked. "Yes, I just told you all that!"

Stephen handed him back the ultrasound picture of Donna's baby that he had had in his wallet. "I was just making sure everything was clear," he told Harvey. "So, when are you finally going to confess your feelings?"

Harvey stared at his brother, "Are you deaf? She's having another man's baby! It doesn't matter that she's not marrying him. You know I can never break up a family like that, and they are a family…legal or not!"

"So, you're just giving up?" Stephen said, annoyed at his brother for not seeing the truth he figured out so quickly. He would tell his brother his thoughts and theories (which he just knows are actually factual) but that was really a conversation he should have with Donna.

"Our relationship will remain as it is," Harvey answered him flatly. Just then, his phone rang and he smiled before answering. "Hey," he said into his cell phone, "yeah, he's right here."

"Donna," he said to Stephen, handing him the phone. "I'm going to grab a cup of coffee, I'll be back."

..::..

"Hey," Donna said, putting the phone on speaker and hearing Harvey say he was getting coffee.

Stephen smiled on his end, "Hey, Red. I hear you've got big news."

"Harvey told you, huh?" she answered him, then with a fake hurt voice, "I guess big would be one way to describe me."

He shook his head, "Uh, Red…you know that's not what I meant. So, is there anything you want to add?"

Donna looked at the phone quizzically, "Besides to tell you to get better and that I'm looking forward to our duet this Christmas, not really, no."

"Really, Red?" he pressed on. "These doctors tell me my chances are slim, and you're denying me confirmation of happy news?"

She sighed, "First off, do not say things like that. You can beat this, like you did last time!" Donna paused, she knew that he knew; he was always intuitive, and he always saw through her actions. "You can't say things like that because you're not allowed to not meet your niece or nephew!"

Stephen smiled. "Finally," he said into the phone, "I can't believe you guys held out this long! I'm very happy for you guys, Donna…well, once you tell him."

"That's proving to be very difficult," Donna replied.

"Ah, you got this, Red. You always find a way to talk to my brother," he said, encouragingly. "Where did you get that fake boyfriend of yours by the way?"

"You figured that out, too?" Donna asked, surprised. "How?"

Stephen scoffed, "Please. Give me some credit. His timing in your life was a little too convenient. Plus, I'm not my brother, he's always so dense when it comes to you." A beat. "Well, actually you guys are equally dense around one another."

Donna rolled her eyes, "Thanks, you're so sweet!"

"Did you just roll your eyes at me, Red?" he asked, "You know I sense such things! Don't you worry, I'll get better sooner, so he can come home to you."

"Just get better, Stevie," Donna said. "I mean it. I love you, you know." She paused. "I'm going to let you rest."

Stephen smiled, "Okay. Oh, Harvey just came in. Do you want to talk to him?"

Donna thought about it, "Just tell him I'll see him here at home. And you…you get better, okay? Bye."

Stephen hanged up the phone and handed it to Harvey. "She didn't want to talk to me?" he asked.

"Just told me to tell you she misses you and that she loves you," Stephen replied, arranging his pillows for a comfortable sleep.

Harvey looked at his brother. A beat. "Wait," he said to Stephen, " did she really?"