Chapter 20 Depths of Despair: Can't Fight Fate
I didn't sleep well that night, my dreams plagued by an army of corpses, all lying dead on the ground with Misaka's face, Mugino and Accelerator cackling and comparing who had more kills.
Waking up with a start, apparently Akiha didn't sleep well either as even though it was 6am she was already up fixing breakfast.
"[You want anything? It's not normal to have a dream like that, want to talk about it?]" Akiha asked me from the kitchen via telepathy, the sound of oil sizzling and frying coming from there as well.
"[No, and I thought you're mad at me?]"
"[Naturally, I've forgiven you for the most part, I'm still waiting for an apology. And I'm not doing this out of kindness, I don't like seeing corpses. No matter what they look like, especially if it's someone so young.]"
"[You're peeking into my dreams now?! Can't a guy have some privacy?]"
"[Our minds are linked you idiot, there'll inevitably be some interference. So do you want to talk about it or not?]"
"No." I said aloud, changing as quickly as possible before dashing out of the room, slamming the door behind me.
Thankfully Misaka put a halt to this accursed program, but now Akiha is asking. I don't think she'll pry if I don't tell her anything, but keeping her in the dark without her knowing anything was something I was trying to keep for as long as I could. Looks like the cat is out of the bag now.
But that's how it is. That's the truth and inescapable fact that two kids can barely do anything to fight not only the darkness of this city, but even stall one program. So what if this program was halted? What else could be running in the shadows aside from this? How many illegal programs are being conducted behind the scenes?
"[I already told you that you can't do anything. Now look where your heroics got you.]" Kaho said momentarily before retreating into the depths of my mind to avoid a retort.
Slamming a fist into a nearby lamp post, I barely felt the pain with my mind totally numb from the recent action over the past few days.
Misaka and I (mainly Misaka) decimated the entire group of facilities taking part in the program, but only time will tell if the program has shut for good. I might as well talk to Misaka first regarding this and plot our next course of action.
The crisp August air blowing through my hair and across my face was slightly refreshing. This is what a student should be enjoying, not fighting and destroying buildings in overnight raids but then again, we all aren't regular students.
Going past a familiar vending machine in the 7th District, a sudden electrical discharge brought me out of my silent contemplative mood, readying my own Electromaster ability for a counterattack until I realised that the discharge was not directed at me.
In a city of 2.3 million people where 1.8 million were Espers you can never be too sure I swear.
Although the normal thing to do would be to walk away and pretend that nothing happened, the discharge was familiar to me, nostalgic even.
Misaka?! Or one of her SISTERs?!
Running down to the vending machine, it's alarm was going off for an electrical short circuiting that violated some... I gave up reading at that point. The only thing that mattered right now is that alarm was ringing, and if I was still hanging around I'd be in a whole lot of trouble.
Over there... Two shadows running off...! Could they be the culprits? After them!
Taking the path overlooking the one that the two were running on, both perpetrators stopped a few hundred meters from the vending machine.
Misaka and Touma? I guess those two are most likely the ones responsible.
With the bushes above Misaka and Touma sufficiently tall enough to hide someone, I took the open invitation and started to eavesdrop, "... Around town, by the riverbank, you played me for a fool countless times didn't you?"
Covering my ears before any more dirty details reached them my mind quickly went into overdrive with scenario after scenario playing inside my head.
Touma taking advantage of Misaka by he riverbank... In the alleys around town... Dammit Touma I didn't know you were such a stud!
Unable to take any more news in, I quickly made my way further down the path before leaning against a lamp lost, the flames of jealousy licking at myheart making my blood boil. Touma... And Misaka... I guess she was never someone I could be with from the start, but this reality is something my mind is refusing to accept.
From her sullen and depressed mood right back to her normal self, he really did something I couldn't... Bringing a smile back to her face... I tried everything... Being her student, her friend, even her partner in crime; Nothing brought us as close as the relationship has with her.
And now I'm experiencing it, my punishment for hoping, for dreaming for the unattainable. Well seeing as my heart's just been ripped in two... I guess I'll head back... Huh?
Two Misaka's?!
"Wasn't the program halted?!" Misaka yelled, rounding on her clone.
"If program refers to the 'Level 6 Shift' program, it is proceeding according to schedule."
"No way... Even now?!"
"Yes, just now experiment #10020 was concluded."
Dammit... I thought those facilities were demolished how can the program continue?
But then again... This experiment was sanctioned by the board of directors, getting other facilities to pick up the experiment from where its predecessors dropped off is so simple. But at this rate, the entire experiment would be concluded by the time Misaka can even put a dent in the project's resources.
"... STOP! STOP IT! That form... That voice...! STOP APPEARING BEFORE ME WITH THOSE!" Misaka screamed as she clutched her head, stunning the clone before she made a hasty retreat.
Watching the clone walk away without another word, Misaka slumped against the lamp pole and whispered something out of earshot, tears freely flowing from her eyes.
I guess this is my fate... I'm standing less than twenty meters from Misaka, yet I can't even reach out to comfort her, out of cowardice or maybe because it just isn't my place to do so, I could only gaze longingly at her with my hand outstretched grasping nothing but air.
Returning to my room, Akiha was there as always, sitting and watching the television.
In my room where everything used to be neat and tidy, books on the shelf and bed covers neatly folded on top of the bed it looked like a tornado had gone through the place, books thrown everywhere, blankets used as another set of curtains and even my homework was strewn all over the floor.
With a situation like this thrown at me getting angry is not out of the question. In fact it's actually the first option. But why am I not angry? I should be furious! Furious enough to throw any and every ability I have in her face. Yet I'm standing here with my fist clenched, not even the tightest I can go, staring at her.
"Oh you're not going to fall for it? Shame, a good duke out would be just what we need to get whatever problems we have out of our systems. Oh well." Akiha said, snapping her fingers, the room blurring out and reverting back to normal; cleaner too.
"Why can't a simple apology be enough? I already gave you one."
"Because that's just how I am ok? You just made my feelings feel like nothing. What else am I supposed to do?"
Man I don't have time to deal with this right now.
Opening my drawer and removing the transparent sheet I stole from the laboratory with Maka, out of curiosity a gave it a test prod with my finger; nearly falling out of my chair when it suddenly powered on with a lot of pretty blinking lights.
"Attach to source." said the readout across the screen in bright red letters on a green background.
What is this, some sight colour deficiency test or something?
I guess the source is... Part of my body or something...?
Once the sheet was brought close to my arm, the sheet snapped to my arm, conforming to the shape as two black bands on each end attached and tightened to my arms width before becoming transparent as well. The sheet itself would prevent me from wearing my band of needles on that arm but that wasn't what I was preoccupied with.
Apparently a small... Presence... Had been born inside my mind, nothing malicious but it felt like a small bug perched on the top of my head giving a small itching feeling.
"Analysing data... Comparing Neuro pattern to the Bank, result with 99% accuracy: Ryusuke Isha. Identity locked and confirmed."
What the hell? Is technology this sophisticated already?
"To continue usage, please attach retinal nodes." the display said, along with a diagram showing where the nodes went: on the back of the neck or in the eyes.
Ok that diagram is making me kinda uneasy. And where are the nodes anyway?
As if to answer my question, a slot opened up on the outer band that attached to my wrist, two contact lens like devices sliding out slightly.
Right before I reached for the lenses, my phone rang, earning me a quick glare from Akiha.
"Why are you playing with your arm?" Akiha asked, suddenly interested in my own attention paid to my right arm.
"Umm, it's hairy." I replied, sounding like the lamest thing to walk this Earth ever.
"Whatever, answer that will ya?" she shot back, turning her attention back to the tv screen.
Flipping the phone in one hand to answer, Maka's voice blasted through the speaker causing me to cringe in shock, "Finally you put the damn thing on! I've been waiting for like forever for you to wear it! I put it on as soon as I got back! What took you so long?"
"I was busy. Wait, how do you know I just put it on? What's the point of the node things anyway?"
"One question at a time... You just appeared on my screen so i know you just put it on. And about the nodes... Oh you need those to see the display. Apparently from what the update history on these things say, the Augmented Reality was meant to be seen by the user from a certain angle. Any other people who tried to access it will only see a blurry image.
"So why didn't they go with that? It'd remove the need for these stupid things."
"It'd also mean someone can indirectly tap into whatever you're reading however private with a set of correction lenses. This way the Augmented Reality on your arm can only be seen by you and the frequency of the information broadcasted by the device will randomise and change making decoding incredibly difficult. Even by someone who has the lenses."
Makes sense... The technology of this city is scary sometimes...
"Right. Thanks a lot Maka, I'm really grateful for your help."
"Y-you idiot! I did it so you'd use it! Not to help you!" Maka stammered before cutting the call.
Tsundere til the end huh?
Whatever, now that I have this thing working, let's see what it can do.
With the nodes inserted into my eyes, I looked back at the screen, a boring grey and black interface staring back at me with several icons one being a spanner which obviously meant in any and every langauge, "Settings".
Sounds good enough to me.
Tapping the specific option with a finger, a large window expanded over my arm with all the set options listed accompanied by a drop down bar to scroll down. It took me a few seconds to learn how to operate the scrolling option and a few more seconds to customise it to my liking and I quietly sat back marvelling at my own achievement: The display was now 3D from my arm though I could alternate it to project wherever I wanted to. The colour scheme was still the dreary grayscale and I swear, if I don't do something about that soon I'll go nuts.
I'll have to deal with it later, there are other things I want to check out.
Sliding my finger across the interface with a clean swipe, the icons spun around the display like a small ring of planets orbiting my arm until I found a familiar icon, one that looked like a globe. This icon must definitely be related to wireless or some kind of networking function. Another tap opened a window that pushed the current open ones I had to the side as I navigated through the setup linking the Augmented Reality device to my phone making it all the more convenient as internet availability on phones was practically a given in this city meaning my device now had full wireless access to Academy City's internet.
Now... To check up on the program's progress. If I'm not wrong, there should be some kind of notice from the last facility that the program went bankrupt and is pending a full shutdown due to lack of funding. It should be over already but it wouldn't hurt to make sure.
As the connection to my phone and by extension the internet was flawless, I quickly performed a quick search with a rapid drumming of my fingers on the virtual keyboard followed by a twirl and snap to use electricity to pry my way through the network. My hacking skills are no where as good as Misaka's and although navigating through security is still possible, if they manage to plug up all the holes with even basic security I'd be in a really big grind. But luckily electronic systems were only as good as the extent at which they can control the system meaning my opponents were still human and had to rely on computers to enter their commands into whatever security system they had leaving holes for those who could "feel" their way through a network.
The news that I came across as soon as I entered the lower security portion of the network caused my arms to fall limp in shock, nearly disconnecting me from the internet entirely; The program isn't halted, it isn't bankrupt, and it's far from over. Over a hundred facilities had taken the torch from the two dying facilities that were left behind, all working together to continue this outrageous experiment despite all the effort Misaka and I had put in.
There's only one thing left to do... House calls.
Grabbing my needle bands and strapping them to my arms and legs I made my way out the door stopping as Akiha gave me a glance before popping her question, "Where are you going?"
"To see if I'm still capable of saving just one life." I retorted before leaving the apartment, making a beeline for the closest facility.
The "closest" facility turned out to be a good 6 miles from where I lived and the walk there had already taken its toll, sweat dripping from my hair as I arrived at my destination already out of the count before the reason I came to this bloody place had been fulfilled.
"Heart Rate: 90, Blood Pressure: Sys:130, Dia:83"
The Augmented Reality interface can even measure my heart rate and blood pressure? Damn...
I can't go in there as Misaka Mikoto, my control over my Electromaster ability just can't match hers... So...
Knock knock boys, time to play... My style.
Crashing through the doors by manipulating the vectors below my foot when I kicked the door, I quickly closed Accelerator's Personal Reality before any personality interference could take place, shooting my needles into critical points with Telekinesis, my aim aided by the device on my arm pinpointing weak spots to the nodes in front of my eyes.
Utilising power from the machines themselves, I created coherent beams of light with calculations formulated and stabilised by the device and shone them into each individual needle one by one causing them to short the equipment they were shot into and systematically destroying them one by one.
I didn't know when it started but a few minutes into my invasion of the facility, amidst the panicking researchers who rushed to pack up and scramble out, a sudden wave of fatigue assaulted my senses, causing me to fall on one knee for a short while the strain of using so many abilities on such a magnitude took its toll.
I have to destroy the core of this facility and hopefully start a chain reaction. I can't just blast my power around.
The goal clear in my mind, I headed for the center of the facility, short circuiting it from the inside out, the machine starting to fizzle with stray electric currents that spread to the rest of the machines in the room making warning sounds and emitting light in complicated combinations.
I take it that that's the cue to get the hell out.
The facility sabotaged but not fully destroyed, the repairs will definitely take quite a while, buying enough time for Misaka to come and fully wreck the place for good. I guess that's my objective completed.
Returning to my apartment shortly after in the dead of the night, the strain finally got to me as my eyes slowly shut, my body collapsing in the hallway as soon as I locked the dormitory room door.
*Timeskip 16 hours*
Opening my eyes groggily in bed while the late afternoon sun shone through my window, Akiha's red eyes burned a hole in me as she studied me thoroughly before her eyes reverted back to their usual dark brown, "Finally done sleeping huh?"
"What?" I asked, wondering how I could have slept so long myself.
"You put a giant strain on your mind. You and that retarded thing on your arm." Akiha snapped, holding up a small transparent sheet and waving it in front of me.
"Wait, you could see it?" I asked, shocked that something as thin and unnoticeable as my Augmented Reality device could be seen by someone who wasn't even looking for it.
"Of course I could, your bioelectricity was being diverted to your arm so of course I found it eventually." Akiha said, looking slightly miffed as she walked back into the kitchen, "I prepared some food. You should eat, you missed breakfast and lunch after all."
"I'm not hungry." I said softly as I dragged myself out of bed and out the door once again.
Although the long rest period had left me well rested and rejuvenated after my little jaunt, the cost of using the AR device weighed heavily on me as what had happened last night started to sink in. I used it, and I fell unconscious for more than half a day as a result. It seems to be suitable for use outside of combat, but in a combat situation the drain on my body is obviously too much to handle.
Should I stop using it or train and hope I can adapt to the mental strain?
The debate going on until even after the sun had set over the horizon, I wandered across the iron bridge where I first saw Touma fighting Misaka, a tiny figure leaning on one of the side railings.
"Why... Did it end up like this...?" the figure whispered, coming into focus as I made my way closer.
Misaka Mikoto, Ace of Tokiwadai Middle School and 3rd Ranking Level 5 of Academy City. There is no shortage of rumours about Level 5's, their insane amount of power all contained in the body of teenage children, but none of these rumours actuallly deal with the other side of these teenagers, the fact that despite all their power, they still have a vulnerable side.
And right now, I felt like Misaka herself was the finest grade porcelain in the world, her pristine beauty and willingness to help anyone in need. And like all porcelain...
I felt that she would shatter into a million pieces if I just touched her.
One doesn't have to be gifted with the powers of telepathy, nor have Clairvoyance to understand what was going on, everybody had a limit, a point of no return that they themselves know they cannot cross; Misaka had reached that limit. And was now staring down the cliff edge that she was no doubt standing on, wondering if the deep blue sea at the bottom would make a better alternative than the current situation that haunts her then and haunts her now.
"Help... Help me..." She whispered, still unaware of my presence as I slowly made my way to her, mechanically moving my arms and legs to the doll that threatened to shatter.
She had done so much. As a 14 year old girl, as an awesome Level 5. Over the course of 11 days she did what almost no other child could do. But it wasn't enough. The programs continued, the army of Sisters continued their monotonous march only to be butchered and slaughtered in the goriest ways imaginable. As much as I wanted to reach out to her, to be the one to solve her problems, end her pain. I was already too slow. My time is already over, there's someone else coming, the void in the area that my abilities covered was unmistakeable, he was coming, the boy who brought a smile back to Misaka's face almost instantly.
Time for me to take my leave.
Altering the vectors below my foot, I shot upwards towards the steel supports on the top of the bridge, the best vantage point to watch and observe the interaction between Touma and Misaka.
Maybe he'll bring a smile to her face again?
But the fates are cruel, and judging by the look on his face, and the papers he's holding, he's not coming as the bearer of good news, "What are you doing?"
Slightly stunned by Touma's sudden question, Misaka made a shaky smile and a rapid recovery while doing her best to avoid his eyes, "Hmn. I'm free to do whatever I want wherever I want. After all, I'm the Level 5 Railgun. The kinds of delinquents who I might run into at night don't even come close to being a danger to me. And you have no right to say anything to me about this."
Playing it cool like her normal self even I was shocked at how calm, how natural her facade was. I mean, what an amazing comeback! From a broken down wreck back to her smart-assed self in less than a second flat? She really does deserve an award for acting.
But acting can only get you so far.
"... Stop this..."
For a split second Misaka faltered, but her second recovery was just as quick, "Stop what? Don't tell me you're stupid enough to try to tell me, the Mikoto-chan who kicks vending machines for drinks, not to go out at night."
Inside her heart must be breaking, aching for a solution to her single endless nightmare. Crying out for a way out of the madness, but there she was acting like it was nothing wrong. And it was pissing Touma off, "Just stop this. I know about Misaka Imouto, I know about the Sisters, I know about the
experiment, and I know about Accelerator. So let's cut the crap."
Saying his piece while pulling out a stack of copy papers, I didn't need a zoom lense or psychometry to tell me what that was, if that is what he says it is, it's the hard copy plan detailing the Experiment. But how did he get his hands on it?
Her eyes widening to large globes at the sight of her secret thrown out into the open, Misaka made a deliberate sigh, "Ahh, why did you do something like this? If you have that report, you must have gone into my room without permission. To even search through the stuffed bear, you must be even more persistent than someone's sister-in-law. Y'know, you may think I should be thankful that you've gone so far into this that you can't see anything else around you, but normally you'd be executed for something like that."
Calmly making death threats with a smile on her face, Misaka definitely has something up her sleeve. The guilt weighing on her from several days ago is no doubt reaching its breaking point.
"So can I ask you one thing?
"What is it?" Touma responded almost reflexively.
"After seeing that, were you worried about me? Or could you not forgive me?" Misaka said, languidly bouncing off from leaning on the railing to face Touma directly.
And that was it, her hand was played. But what would making someone hate you for the Experiments do? What would you gain from making another enemy out of the scores you already have? Is having someone blame you for your actions really something you crave that much?
"Of course I was worried about you!" Touma replied reflexively.
A startled look crossing her face at Touma's response, she quickly gained her composure although her voice had a shaky quaver to it as she replied, "W-Well, I suppose at least having someone who will say that even if it's a lie is better than nothing."
"... I wasn't lying." Touma whispered.
"What?" Misaka said, turning around to face Touma once again
"I said I wasn't lying!" Touma yelled, causing Misaka to jump from the conviction in his voice.
Words alone won't do anything, just saying that you're worried for her instead of condemning her shouldn't make her feel any better. But why? Why is she shaking from just a simple declaration? Why does he have such an effect on her while I'm forced to hide silently from the shadows?! WHY!?
"I apologize for going to your room without permission. I did get permission from your roommate, but I suppose that isn't good enough. Anyway, you can just biri biri me to your heart's content later. So what are you doing? I doubt you got this report through any proper means. And there's this map in there with it. They're all laboratories researching a certain disease, but what's with the red X's written over them? They almost look like…"
"Kill marks... Right?" Misaka said, turning back to face the dark expanse of the river, "That's pretty much it. Of course, I didn't just go in and blow them up with my Railgun, But there are pieces of equipment in those labs that cost hundreds of millions of yen, right? I just used my power over the network to thoroughly destroy them. Without working equipment, the labs can't function, so they close and the project becomes permanently frozen... Or that was how it was supposed to go."
"How was it supposed to go?"
"It was easy enough to destroy one or two labs, but the experiment was then picked up by
another lab. No matter how many times I destroyed the lab or got in the way, the experiment
continued on and continued on. The idea of the never before-seen Level 6 must truly sound
wonderful to those researchers... Those girls have no problem referring to themselves as experimental animals. Do you know how rats or guinea pigs are treated? I was curious, so I looked into it, but it's horrible. While still alive and without being given any anesthetic, they have holes opened up in their skulls with saws and then have data taken on what happens when drugs are directly applied to their brains. Each and every day, records are kept on how many milliliters of the drug it takes before they cough of blood and die in agony. If they might run low on supplies, they just put the males and females together to breed and if they have leftovers after the experiment is over, they just toss them as is into a furnace."
After saying her piece, Misaka's head fell, having carried the weight of the creation of 20000 clones, and then having to further burden herself with their inevitable slaughter, it wasn't her fault. Nobody could fault her for not knowing what her DNA map would be used for, but she carried it anyway. And in carrying that burden she had aged. If not decades not centuries, her voice carried the gravity of what she had done, and for that she felt nothing but despair.
This isn't fair, hell it's not even right. Yet she knows that and carries the torch anyway, that torch that burns with the flames of murder.
And then, it dawned on me. She's not planning to stop the experiments, she said it herself, for every facility she destroys two more will take its place. She's not planning to stop the experiments, she's planning to thwart them. But how?
"... But what if I don't have that much value?" I heard Misaka say, the air suddenly filling with tension, tension so thick that it was suffocating, pressing the air right out of my lungs.
At that point I was certain, to save the lives of 10000, Misaka would offer herself up as bait. No, not bait, a sacrifice. She was going to throw her life away in hopes that the other 10000 lives would be spared. But she's wrong, her death will not stop their march, what she's doing is selfish. And in her own childish selfishness she's going to throw her life away?! Fuck that, I'm going down there and...
Wait... Why is she saying this? If she was planning to die, why say it out loud to the world? Touma's not the kind of guy to let that sort of shit go, she knows that! Unless... I get it. She wants him to stop her. Him, a boy who only found out about this dark secret less than an hour ago.
Life isn't fair huh? Stick up for what's right, help the girl through her troubled times, and this is what you get in the end. It hurts... Hurts so much that I can feel tears forming. She's asking him to stop her, he will happily oblige, and this is how it ends doesn't it? The hero saving the damsel in distress, an age old story. But hero stories only account for two people, they never mention the extras and spare characters left out in the sun to dry. If it's for Misaka I guess I can manage one last run, one final mission.
Taking my leave from the arguing couple, my mind was set as I made my way to my final destination, a switchyard in the 17th district, the site of the next experiment recorded all on my handphone's memory card.
Touma doesn't have to do this, if he fights Accelerator there's no doubt about it, the Level 5 will slaughter the Level 0. The idea is to remove Accelerator from the picture permanently right? I should be able to pull this off with Kaho's help, Misaka and Touma can live together happily ever after like all those heroic tales, as for me... Maybe I'll find peace in a better place. But enough of that...
It's time to go.
-End of Chapter 20-
Woooo! And that's it, the 2nd last chapter of A Certain Mystical Esper! Oooops! I wasn't supposed to tell you it was the 2nd last chapter but... A hell you know so enjoy!