Fixed some minor grammar and spelling problems.
Bugs Gross (sequel to really cats?)
"I'm Joe Regan and this is Fear Factor. The stunts you are about to see were all designed and supervised by trained professionals. They are extremely dangerous and should not be attempted by anyone, anywhere, any time! Now here are our four teams. First up are best friends Puck and Finn from Lima, Ohio."
"I'm Finn,"
"And I'm Puck,"
"We've been friends since kindergarten." Finn says smiling.
"Finn here is engaged, but don't worry ladies I'm single." Puck flexes his arms.
"Okay are next team is mother/daughter Judy and Quinn Fabray."
"Hi, I'm Judy and this is my lovely daughter Quinn."
"I'm here to win and put a step to my best friends insane winning streak." Quinn says giving her bitch please smile.
"And fellas yes she's single." Judy whispers winking and pointing at Quinn.
"Well apparently this is a dating show now." Joe laughs, "Our next team is glee club teammates Rory and Joe H."
"I dat say tha mi naems Rory."
"I'm Joe H. and for those of you who didn't understand this is Rory."
"What no info on wither your single or not well okay our final team is girlfriends Brittany and Santana."
"Wives," Santana shouts walking out.
"Huh?" Joe asks.
"We're married you idiot." Santana shouts walking towards him.
"San knock it off. Save your anger for the game." Brittany scolds her. "Sorry Joe, Santana sometimes gets really testy when people say were dating instead of married." Brittany smiles wrapping her arms around her wife's waist and putting her head on her shoulder.
"I'm sorry," Santana quietly says.
"Now that you've met the team let's tell you about your first stunt. Both of you will be chained to a platform and submerged. To get out you will each have to grab a set of keys, find the correct key and swim to a buoy. Once the second partner touches the buoy your time will be stopped the team with the slowest will be eliminated. The first team up is Joe H. and Rory."
Rory and Joe H. look at each other as they are chained and the platform is lowered into the water. Santana snickers at the look of fear on Rory's face. She is still bitter about him trying to get into her girls pants.
They have been submerged for a minute when Joe H. releases himself and starts swimming to the buoy. He is almost to the buoy when Rory finally releases himself and starts his sad dog paddle to the buoy. Finally reaching the buoy their time is stopped at five minutes twenty-eight seconds.
"That was a decent time, but Rory what happened can't you swim." Joe asks chuckling.
Rory shakes his head knowing his time is not good enough to beat Santana and Brittany.
"The next team to go is Finn and Puck." Joe says as Santana snickers.
"Oh Finnocence I'm going to enjoy this." Santana smiles nudging Brittany who also laughs.
"San, be nice to Finn it's not his fault that his body doesn't look half as good as Puck's." Brittany tells her.
"Shut up Britt," Puck yells as he and Finn are chained to the platform.
"Puck don't yell at her or I'll cut you." Santana growls as Puck gets a scared look on his face.
With that the platform is submerged and Puck quickly finds the right key and releases himself. Finn follows twenty seconds later and swims after Puck. They finish with a time of two o five.
"Well that will be a hard time to bet." Joe says as Puck and Finn rejoin them. "Brittany and Santana you will be going next."
"Yeah, beat that Santana." Puck shouts at her.
"Oh we will," Santana smirks evilly.
"They better not beat our time." Finn whispers to himself.
Right before they are chained to the platform Santana kisses her with "I love you babe, but please do this fast I really want to beat Puck and Finn." she whispers.
"Hun, I always do for you." Brittany whispers kissing her.
"You two are disgustingly cute." Quinn shouts, Santana flips her off.
They are chained and then submerged. It shocks everyone when five seconds Brittany has released herself and two seconds later Santana also releases herself. They seem to be having a competition with each other to see who can swim to the buoy the faster. Brittany of course is winning as she has longer limbs. She touches the buoy a good ten seconds before Santana. They finish with a time of forty-two seconds and when Santana does reach the buoy she clamors into Brittany's arms, wrapping her legs around her waist and arms around her neck.
"Wow that was impressive ladies." Joe smiles at them and surprising Santana smiles back.
"S who knew you were scared of water." Quinn teases at how Santana has practically jumps into Brittany's arms.
"Just cause I don't like water doesn't mean anything." Santana says.
"Come off it you practically drowned Brittany." Quinn says.
"I did not," Santana huffs wrapping her arms protectively around her wife. "I certainly would never. I don't want to be a widow at eighteen."
"I didn't mind," Brittany smiles, kissing her wife.
"Okay," Joe looks on with wide eyes. "Quinn, Judy you're up now."
Quinn releases herself first twenty seconds after being submerged. Judy follows ten seconds later and is extremely happy to get out. Her and Quinn reach the buoy at the same time taking a whole minute.
"Well Rory and Joe H. I'm sorry, but you have been eliminated." Joe says and the two walk off. "As for the rest of you let's go to your second stunt." he leads them towards a warehouse.
They all enter the warehouse and look around. Santana cringes and clutches onto Brittany's arm.
"Britt, I hate bugs." Santana whispers.
"You'll have to suck it up San to win the money and I hate to lose as much as you do so don't you dare wimp out on me and lose it for us. Or else I'll never go down on you again." Brittany threatens.
Santana gasps and stares at her wife as if she can't believe she would threaten such a thing.
"So your second stunt is that one of you will collect beetles, worms, crickets, scorpions and millipedes with your mouth and spit them into a meat grinder. Then turn the crank to grind the bugs into slop. Your partner will be underneath the grinder catching the slop in their mouth and spitting it on to a scale. The team with the most weight transferred in three minutes will win a trip for two to Athens, Greece and the team with the worst will be eliminated." Joe says as all three teams get ready as they will be doing this stunt at the same time.
"You're going to beat your ass Santana." Puck laughs slapping his knee.
"Yeah especially since she hates bugs." Quinn adds.
"Shut it or I'll end you." Brittany says surprising everyone.
"Whoa, no one upset Britt remember how strong she is." Finn says backing away from her.
"All of you have five minutes to decide who is doing what." Joe tells them.
"Finn you transfer the bugs, I'll take the slop." Puck says and Finn just nods not really caring only wanting to beat Brittany and more importantly Santana.
Judy and Quinn are having more of a difficult time deciding who will do what.
"Quinn neither sounds appealing to me." Judy complains.
"Yeah well I think it's gross too, but it's for a trip to Greece and a chance at fifty grand." Quinn informs her.
"Fine, but just be honest you really just want to beat Santana." Judy accuses her.
"Okay yeah, I want to beat her sorry ass so I'll collect the damn bugs." Quinn decides and her mom agrees.
Of course Brittany and Santana are not having any problems as Santana will do anything that her wife tells her.
"You'll collect the bugs, I'll catch the slop." Brittany tells her and all her wife can do is nod.
Santana really doesn't want to do anything to do with these damn bugs. Bugs are fucking stupid and gross. The only reason why she is doing this is her lovely wife Brittany.
"Okay teams ready set go." Joe says as the teams are prepared to go.
The first couple seconds are a furry of flashes of bodies as Finn, Quinn and Santana all are collecting bugs. The disgusted on Santana's face makes everyone laugh and Puck and Quinn spit out the bugs they had in their mouths. It makes Brittany smile until Santana decides she too need to feel the pain and starts cranking.
It shocks everyone when Brittany easily catches the slop in her mouth signaling for Santana to stop grinding and she gets up spitting the slop onto the scale. Brittany and Santana easily fall into a rhythm while Judy almost pukes the first time she catches the stuff.
After three minutes Joe blows the horn and everyone stops.
"Now let's see who won." Joe looks at the three scales. "Well with the impressive weight of four point two pounds, Brittany and Santana win again."
"Fuck," Puck throws his arms up.
"Fuck you Santana, fucking bitch winning everything." Quinn shouts.
"Fuck yeah," Santana fist pumps and kisses Brittany passionately despite the fact that she can now taste the slop.
"Lucy Quinn Fabray! No cursing." Judy scolds as Puck and Santana snicker. "That goes for you two too. Don't think I won't tell your mother Santana Marie Lopez and you too Noah Puckerman."
Puck ducks his head and hids behind Finn while Santana has a look of pure horror on her face. Brittany chuckles at her wife and two friends.
"That also goes for you Brittany." Judy adds.
"Hey, what did I do?" Brittany holds her hands up.
"Yeah Mrs. Fabray, Britt didn't do anything bad." Santana argues.
"Okay sorry your right." Judy apologizes.
Brittany wonders if maybe she has seen the tattoo on her hip or the one on her shoulder. She knows her mother wouldn't be happy if she saw it. The only thing that she is happy about is that she doesn't know about Santana's aside from the one that is her wedding ring or her clit piercing in fact only Santana knows about that.
"Now that you're done I'm sad to say that Finn and Puck had the least amount of weight and have been eliminated." Joe says. "Come on we have to go outside for your last stunt and the fifty grand."
"San," Brittany whispers in her car as they walk out.
"What, Britt Britt?" Santana asks.
"I think that Judy might have seen the tattoo on my hip." Brittany whispers.
"Well at least she doesn't know about your other one or my favorite of your piercing." Santana smiles whispering.
"Or that she doesn't know about any of your tattoos." Brittany whispers kissing her wife's hand.
Santana smiles she loves how wild the blonde would get after she gets each one. The first one she got when she was fifteen and it's on the back of her neck. She also has one on the small of her back and another on her ankle.
"Thinking about how we're going to beat your ass." Quinn says breaking her out of her thoughts.
"You wish Fabray."
"Okay this is your third and final stunt. One partner starts in the helicopter and once over the water jumps in swimming to a kayak where their partner will be waiting to drag the kayak with their partner to the shore and then both run to the flag." Joe says, "first up is Quinn and Judy."
They look at each other neither of them is an exceptional swimmer, but they finally decide that Quinn will drag the kayak.
Judy gets into the helicopter and watches as it took off. She gets more and more nervous as it gets closer to the kayak. She is not looking forward to jumping out even if it is into the water. Once she is almost over the kayak she leaps into the water starting their time. Quinn is happy that her mom has manages to get close to the kayak. It takes her two minutes to reach and get into the kayak. Quinn begins to pull the kayak swimming, but it is really hard for her. She struggles for seven minutes until finally pulling the boat and her mom onto the beach. They run for the flag stopping their time.
"Crap mom we fucking lost." Quinn says.
"Honey you don't know that they still have to go." Judy says wondering why her daughter is giving in.
"Mom you did watch Amazing Race didn't you. Brittany is a beast; she'll no doubt pull the kayak and fast at that." Quinn sighs upset that they will lose to those two yet again.
"Well Brittany and Santana all you have to do is beat the time of ten o two." Joe informs them.
Brittany and Santana both walk over towards the helicopter.
"I'll pull the kayak hun, all you have to do is jump out of the helicopter and get into the kayak." Brittany tells her.
"Whatever you say babe." Santana smiles kissing her wife on the cheek.
Santana climbs into the helicopter and waits nervously as it flies over towards the kayak. She is terrified of letting down Brittany. Not just in this stunt, but overall. It lives in the back of her mind that Brittany is bi and could easily fall for a man even though they are married. To get all her thoughts of doubts out of her head she leaps out of the helicopter and somehow lands two feet away from the kayak. She gets in the kayak in ten seconds flat and Brittany starts to pull her. It surprises everyone at how fast Brittany is moving. They make it to the shore in two minutes flat and hit the flag ten seconds later.
As soon as they finish Brittany runs into Santana's tackling her to the ground.
"I love you sweetie! I can't believe we won." Brittany kisses her.
"Awe baby, it was all you." Santana kisses her back.
"With a time of two twenty, Brittany and Santana you have won Fear Factor and the fifty grand." Joe says shaking Santana's hand before Santana pulls Brittany away.
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
"Satan, I can't believe you actually had bugs in your mouth." Kurt says astonished as everyone filed into the choir room.
The buzz around the school is how Brittany and Santana are four for four on game shows.
"Yeah, Satan you're as diva as I am and I wouldn't have done that." Mercedes says surprised like everyone else.
"Please she only did it cause Brittany probably threatened to never go down on her again or something like that." Quinn laughs as Santana turns bright red.
"So it's true," gasps Rachel grabbing onto Finn's arm.
"Shut up," Santana mumbles her head buried into Brittany's shoulder.
"Thanks San now Lord Tubbington will quit smoking." Brittany kisses her.
Everyone just stares and shakes their heads. Typical Brittany nothing she says ever makes much sense to any of them.
"Britt before you and Santana ran off to have sex somewhere I just want to say nice tattoo." Quinn snickers.
"Oh, Britt I didn't know you had any tattoos." Mike says surprising everyone.
"Can you even legal get them?" Rachel asks.
"We got married didn't we Hobbit so yeah she is both eighteen." Santana yells.
"San calm down. Rachel, Quinn it's really none of your business if I have any tattoos. It's my body and the only one who needs to be concerned about my tattoos is Santana." Brittany says dragging Santana out of the choir room.
"I think we need to go to the tattoo parlor." Brittany whispers.
"Oh, someone's got idea." Santana laughs.