Chapter 1 – Growing Up
1: Home
The door creaked as Shizuru pushed it open and she winced at the sound. Her heart hammered loudly in her ears, and the hand she used to brush her bangs from her eyes was shaking slightly. She had waited for hours after she had heard the door to Miss Maria's room lock. Even now she wondered if Miss Maria knew what she planning. The elderly woman had the strangest ability to know exactly when Shizuru was doing something she wasn't supposed to. Shizuru was horribly scared that Miss Maria was waiting just behind the door of her room across the hall, listening to see if Shizuru would dare disobey her and break curfew.
She tilted her head to the side and listened.
There was nothing but silence.
She pushed the door open farther and slipped a foot outside, ready to pull it back in and shut the door should Miss Maria's bedroom door move in the slightest. But it remained still, and Shizuru quickly slipped out and made her way to the staircase where she stuck close to the wall to avoid creaking stairs.
Her heartbeat was fast, her breathing was shallow and every nerve was on end, her eyes constantly shifting to look behind her, always thinking that the next time – the next time she turned around she would be staring right at Miss Maria's scowling face. But it was not so, and Shizuru made it all the way to the back door without getting caught. Her hand gripped the doorknob and then hesitated. She had yet to give much thought about what she was doing. She was planning to bring a vampire home. Even though no one spoke much of them anymore, people were still wary of vampires and other such creatures. Wary and loathing of them. If she was caught, the girl would be killed, and Shizuru might very well be locked away in the dungeons for the rest of her life. Miss Maria, scary and imposing that she was, had still rescued her from the orphanage when her parents died. She had had no obligation to retake her role as Shizuru's "nanny", and had been perfectly alright in her retirement, but she had come back for Shizuru nonetheless, and taken care of her in the place of her mother. People would lose the reverend respect they held for the woman, and she would have to live the rest of her life knowing that she had failed in raising Shizuru in a manner her parents would have wished.
But the small girl she had seen needed help; needed help or she would end up dead before long. And needed a place to hide from the public else someone else would find her and kill her. Remembering those large emerald eyes, and how they had shifted to everywhere but Shizuru's eyes, Shizuru tightened her grip and slowly turned the key before opening the door.
Immediately she was enveloped in a cold wind. She shivered and clutched the blanket she held closer to her chest as she closed the door, and then ran. The streets were empty, and it must have been later than she thought as only a few windows glowed with a soft light. The sound of her footfalls were the only thing she heard as she raced through the streets, retracing her earlier steps toward the alley she had found earlier, praying she did not pass the alley in the darkness. The sound of her shoes on padded dirt – though the shoes were soft heeled and she could feel the stones through them – sounded dangerously loud in her ears, and soon her panting also pierced the night's silence.
Shizuru slowed, then stopped, and with a quick look around to make sure that she really hadn't been heard or spotted she stepped into the dark alley, her eyes connecting almost immediately with green eyes that glowed with a startling brightness in the dark, where Shizuru could make out nothing else of her figure. Then the eyes slipped lower, away from her gaze and the spell was broken. Shizuru shook her head slightly and stepped closer. As she stepped closer her eyes became more used to the dark alley and she could faintly make out that the girl was shivering. When she was right in front of the girl, she placed the blanket over her shoulders and her bowed head, then, for a reason she couldn't really explain, hugged her close.
Shizuru smelled nice.
The little vampire buried her face closer into Shizuru's dress and had the same thought again. Shizuru smelled nice. Did that mean that Shizuru was a nice person? But other people smelled nice too; sitting in her dark alley as the townspeople walked by, she could smell the various perfumes; some much too strong, others subtle enough to mix with the scents of the earth. Some didn't smell so good, but most smelled nice. Not as nice as Shizuru, but nice.
People from her home had smelled nice too...
Her hands gripped her dirty and worn shorts tightly.
She would focus on Shizuru; this strange human girl who hadn't run screaming when she discovered what she was. She thought Shizuru was nice. Shizuru had fed her when she hadn't eaten mortal food in months. Months where her body deteriorated and withered away. Slow going, lonely months where it was just her, only her and the darkness and the various critters that scuttled around in that darkness.
She felt Shizuru pull away slightly and shifted her head to sneak another careful glance at her peculiar eyes. They weren't eyes she would usually find on a human, they had been a bit more common at home, but not among the mortals. Was Shizuru like her then?
"Let's get going before dawn comes. If we get caught we'd probably get into a lot of trouble."
She felt Shizuru's hands touch hers. They were so much warmer than she was used to. She didn't think Shizuru was much like her at all. Not in the slightest. That thought alone kept her grounded to the spot as Shizuru tugged at her arm.
Never trust a human.
Shizuru had turned to face the exit of the alley, now she turned back and was surprised to find herself staring directly into the vampire's green eyes. They were beautiful eyes, she thought. But they glared at her with a ferociousness that startled her. They were glowing, pulsing almost with light and Shizuru would have let go of her hand right then.
But she didn't. Her grip tightened on the hand, now a bit warmer, and her eyes narrowed.
They stood like that, glaring at each other.
This was it, the moment when the human would show that she was just like the rest of them and try and hurt her and force her into whatever trap it was she had set. But she wouldn't die that easily. She would fight back, kill her if she had to, and find a new town and a new alley. Her head swelled; she could drink. How long had it been? Much too long, her instincts were screaming at her. Rip her neck out, drink your fill and slay every single one of the bastard humans while they slept.
Her nails drew blood, startled by the sudden scent she loosened her hand. It was Shizuru's blood. She had drawn first blood. If the human hadn't wanted to kill her before, she would definitely want to kill her now. So maybe she would drink tonight after all, and she'd be dead come morning.
Shizuru cried out in pain and surprise when her back hit the alley wall. The little vampire's breath was cold on her neck, colder even than the wind she had run through in her haste to get here. Her stupid, stupid haste.
She shut her eyes tightly and flinched when the vampire's teeth raked across her neck, the tips digging in till they broke flesh. The small trickle of blood that ran from the small puncture wounds was warm on her neck.
But the fangs had yet to bury themselves in her flesh; had yet to complete the horror story she had heard so many times in her life. That cold breath was still on her, still breathing shallowly on her open wound. A sudden wind blew in from the alley, and Shizuru could feel the shiver that ran through the young vampire's body, and her fright was gone. Her tense body relaxed as she felt herself lowered back to the ground. In the stillness of the night, with the words close to her ear Shizuru heard the whispered words breathed on her neck.
"Shi..-ru," No, no that wasn't it. She strained her ears and listened closely. "Shizuru..." she was saying. It was hard to hear, but it was her name, every syllable of it perfectly pronounced despite being barely audible to her human ears.
She smiled, and took the hand which held her only loosely now, they were still small and frail looking, though now she knew better what they were capable of. "Let's go."
This time she was met with no resistance.
2: Understanding
A year older, a year wiser.
It had been a year since she had brought the vampire home with her. Hiding her had been startlingly easy and simple. Shizuru's house was old and had many hidden rooms. One such hidden room was connected to her own, and she was embarrassed to say that she never would have found it had she not taken Natsuki home that day. A year ago she had naively brought what many believed to have been a monster into her home. She had fed it and bathed it and given it new clothes. She had washed its hair, combed out as many of the knots and tangles in it as she could and when she was forced to give up on the ruin of what should have been beautiful silky hair, she had taken a knife to it and tried to cut what had to be cut as neatly as possible. It was still a bit uneven in places, but she had been proud of her work.
But a year had gone by since those magical first days. After telling Shizuru her name in her whisper of a voice, she had refrained from speaking as much as was seemingly possible. Natsuki took what food she gave, and kept to the darkness of the hidden rooms and secret passages. She had gained more weight now that she was eating healthily, and she was no longer afraid to meet Shizuru in the eye. All of these things were wonderful, but Shizuru was also a year wiser, let us not forget. She knew better the risks she was taking by housing a vampire. She could be banished, she could be labelled a vampire whore and beaten, killed. She could be labelled a witch and burned. Miss Maria would also most likely suffer from her actions should she be found out. The old woman would be seen as no better than Shizuru herself. She would be locked away, shunned, marked, spat upon, enslaved; there were so many ways to hurt and punish a person.
And none of these things were what filled her with fear. What filled her with fear was the danger that walked around in frozen skin and slept in those hidden passageways.
A year wiser. A year to finally understand that she had brought what could potentially be her own death into her home, her safe haven. It ate her food, and shunned her advances of friendship and looked at her through lidded eyes, glared at her really. That same girl who had at first seemed so helpless. That girl had the power to rip her apart limb by limb and tear her throat open. That girl grew stronger on her lifeblood; the neck she kept so bare and unprotected. There was the possibility that the stories were false (she had yet to be bitten after all) but they were even more likely to be true, and what would become of her then? She would become a victim of her own compassion, slain by a monster she herself had nursed back to health. How tragic.
Yes, she finally understood what she faced. She knew what could happen. She could die; she could die in so many many painful ways. And therein lay her fear.
But she refused to turn the vampire out; refused to turn Natsuki out.
It had been a year and Natsuki had yet to show the warmth Shizuru so desperately wished she had. But she would let her stay. She wanted her to stay. Natsuki had yet to justify her fears in the slightest, and until such a time Shizuru would not turn out a child in need.
Maybe she wasn't that wise after all.
3: Watching
Shizuru... the human, was strange; very strange. Natsuki didn't dare think about when she had started to think of her as more than a strange human girl, and so she repeated this fact to herself over and over again. The human was very strange.
It was night again. The human was studying, something she did every night before sleep claimed her. She had been studying by light of a single lamp for an hour now. Natsuki had been behind the mirror in her room the entire time with only the spiders and lizards for company. The human was 12 now; three years had gone by since she had "moved". The human had been studying later and later, taking more and more time before she finally decided to put away the books and rest. Watching her study night after night was boring. Natsuki new the hidden tunnels of the house almost by heart now, she could spend her time listening to gossiping maids or some other such thing; something a bit more interesting than this.
Still it was amusing. Shizuru mouthed the words she read, something she only did when she was really absorbed in her studying. Natsuki would amuse herself by trying to read those words. Sometimes she was successful, and sometimes she failed. Sometimes she could only figure out a few words in every sentence. But she was getting better. Watching Shizuru was fun. No, not fun exactly, interesting? But Shi-... the human wasn't interesting at all, just strange, she was strange.
But did her strangeness make her interesting? Maybe. It was possible.
She watched silently, her thoughts swirling as Shizuru closed one book and began another. She would have to wait a while for Shizuru to get into it, before her lip reading could continue. She didn't mind, though she probably should. Was she getting too close to her? But she already had practically no contact with the human. All she really did was watch her, and that was okay wasn't it? Watching your... enemies?
Shizuru's lips started moving again and Natsuki's eyes focused on them, glowing brightly in the dark passageway. Then she laughed. Shizuru was reading a story book again.
Shizuru smiled into the book. It was muffled, but she had heard the soft laughter through the thin walls of her room, and looking into the small mirror she had leaned against the wall on the desk, she could just barely make out the shadow of Natsuki's sitting form behind the mirror. Her glowing eyes showed the easiest.
Natsuki didn't know it just yet, but they had already found their own way of communicating, and Shizuru would talk to Natsuki as much as she could in this way until the day Natsuki finally opened up to her. Then they could laugh together over stories and legends of castles and dragons and dwarves.
The maids giggled whenever Shizuru walked by. At first Shizuru had been puzzled when it started. Was there something awkward about the way she dressed? Did they know something that she didn't? Perhaps she should be wary of Miss Maria for a while...
But they were maids, and this was an old, old house. Just as there were passageways she was sure only Natsuki knew how to navigate, she had eventually come to the realization that maids gossip usually stayed as just that. Gossip amongst the maids. And the maids knew everything that happened in the house they were paid to take care of.
They giggled and smiled because they knew her secret. They knew she was hiding someone in the walls of the mansion. "The Mistress' phantom" they called her Natsuki. It was true that Natsuki was in her own way a phantom, the coldness of her skin, the low rough quality of her voice, the way she seemed to flow from one dark corner to the next, and her ever so pale skin. Shizuru would often jokingly refer to Natsuki as "my watchful phantom", as Natsuki's bright green eyes that seemed to glow slightly even in the light of several candles never seemed to leave her for long anymore. Natsuki would frown and nudge her playfully before her frown gave way to a smirk. Just where Natsuki had picked up the smirk from, Shizuru did not know. It was a charming smirk though, and Shizuru came to love it, even with the touch of arrogance on its edges.
She closed the book decisively and leaned her head back as far as she could to find green eyes. They stared right back at her. Natsuki lay on her bed, on her back with her head hanging over the edge and her hair lightly brushing the carpeted floor. She smiled at the sight, it was cute.
"Natsuki."
She grunted. Shizuru's smile widened.
"Natsuki..."
Another grunt, louder and rougher. But Shizuru wanted to hear Natsuki's voice. Grunts were unacceptable.
"Na-tsu-kiii..." She spoke each syllable individually, dragging out the final one in a childish whine.
"What?" Her voice was lower than normal, a sign that Shizuru had managed to annoy her. Shizuru took it in for what it was and promptly moved on. Her annoyance was only a front she knew. Natsuki had been sitting there the entire time just waiting for her to set aside the books and various study material and pay attention to her. Her vampire was a needy little thing, and attention craving. Even more so, now that Shizuru had started attending etiquette classes with a woman even more uptight than Miss Maria (something Natsuki insisted had to be impossible).
She smiled secretly. "You know what the maids say of you don't you?"
One of those smooth, navy blue eyebrows rose delicately. "Of course." She knew almost everything that happened in the house, having acquainted herself with it for years. "It's all just stupid rumours. They think I'm some street rat boy you met on one of your trips to the market and brought home, or some other crap like that. It's hardly amusing."
Shizuru giggled. "I actually think it's very amusing."
Another one of those grunts Natsuki had gotten so used to giving. "You would."
"And what does that mean?" She shifted her legs to the side and turned her body halfway to more easily meet Natsuki's eyes. "Does Natsuki find me easily amused?"
"You are the one giggling over a bunch of rumours that aren't even close to the truth."
"I won't deny giggling, it is not a crime. But I think they are pretty close just for mere speculation."
"They think I am a boy," and her eyes flashed a brighter green as the words left her mouth. Of course that's what Natsuki would focus on.
"You do dress like one..." Even as Natsuki lay on her bed glaring, she wore loose trousers and a white dress shirt. Shizuru never asked how she got them, there were certainly no boys living in the mansion, not even one of the maid's sons. "And you act like a boy as well." She sighed, breaking the response Natsuki was about to give and continued. "Oh Natsuki, my dark prince. Secretly courting me in my own home and trying to steal away the innocence I was brought up to treasure." She blushed as a part of the act, relaxing her body to lay almost provocatively over the chair. The blush she received was worth it and she almost doubled over with laughter.
Natsuki glared at her, then rolled over and off the bed. She was heading straight for the hidden door.
Shizuru sprang from her chair and moved to block her, Natsuki stepped around her. Shizuru moved again and pressed her back to the hidden door. Natsuki glared. Shizuru merely smiled.
"I'm only kidding."
"One day your "kidding" will get you in trouble."
"With you?" She stepped forward slightly, still making sure to block Natsuki's escape.
"I'll probably end up having to save your ungrateful arse." Natsuki's lips twitched upward slightly at the remark, but she continued glaring, probably hoping Shizuru hadn't noticed it. She had.
"Much like a prince then. Sweet Natsuki; my courageous prince; the phantom who watches over me while I sleep."
Natsuki's eyes narrowed even further and she huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. "Don't start."
Shizuru ruffled her hair in response, something Natsuki increasingly protested against as she grew older and more prideful. "I'm not starting anything. All I'm saying is that Natsuki does act much like a phantom. You haunt the corridors and secret passageways of my home during the nights and keep a constant vigil over everything that moves. You are cold as a phantom, and pale as a phantom, and glide across floors very much like a phantom would." She placed her index finger to Natsuki's chest as she spoke and stared down at her. Five years had gone by and Natsuki was only just starting to catch up with Shizuru in terms of height. Shizuru noted this with an inner smile. "You cannot deny that."
The glare on Natsuki's face remained, and despite the familiarity of it, the chill still managed to make Shizuru shiver slightly. "Of course I can."
"Now you're just being stubborn."
Natsuki merely smiled. The next second Shizuru found herself where Natsuki had been standing, with the girl's hands unwrapping themselves from around her waist. "Phantoms aren't to be seen." Then she disappeared into the wall with only a slight click to signal her departure.
Shizuru eyed where she had been with a small frown. She had not wanted their banter to end so quickly. Now she had no choice but to go to sleep. Still, she smiled. "My watchful phantom prince, then..." Her eyes briefly connected with a green glow behind her mirror as she turned towards her bed.
Such a cute phantom she had.
4: Maturing
"Congratulations."
The word broke the silence in the room with the cleanness of a sharp blade. Shizuru, finally alone in her room, started. It seemed she wasn't alone after all, she should have known better. "On what?" Her voice lacked her usual spirit, and hinted at a weariness that caused Natsuki to hesitate; she, after all, knew just how Shizuru looked at today. Natsuki perhaps viewed it more morosely than the girl herself.
"Your birthday of course. You are sixteen today, I thought that was a special year for your kind."
The smile she got in response had a touch of bitterness to it. "A special year indeed. No congratulations for anything else?"
"No." It was blunt, she knew, and winced when nothing else followed to soften the blow. She noticed how suddenly Shizuru's shoulders had tensed. "... Congratulations on your engagement."
She got a bitter laugh as a response.
"It is not so bad Shizuru..."
"Really? How so?"
She placed her hands on Shizuru's shoulders and turned her slightly, kneeling, so that they were face to face. The tears in Shizuru's eyes hurt her, so she tenderly kissed them away and felt Shizuru relax under her hands. "There is a phantom that lives in your house, a monster that is very protective and might just kill whoever made a certain someone cry."
The smile she received was empty. "It is good then, that monsters do not exist."
Natsuki felt she'd kill the whole world for stealing the wonder of her smile.
End Chapter
Author Notes:
This chapter is centred on the years between. Between what? Between finding and loving. It is not written in a way that makes it very understandable, but that was done purposefully as their growth in feelings towards each other will be later explained.
But so as to not lose you so early into the story, I'll explain a bit.
Part one, entitle Home, is a continuation of the prologue, focusing on the feelings of both Natsuki and Shizuru at the very start of their relationship.
Part two, Understanding, focuses on Shizuru, who is a little older and a little wiser. If she had met Natsuki at this age, then this story might not have been possible. She is starting to understand better the horrors of the world, and, as any child just learning that the world isn't as beautiful a place as she thought, she is frightened of what might happen to her, and paranoid.
The most important part in this chapter is part three, Watching. It best shows the advancement in the relationship between the two. A lot is missing from their story, but not much occurs between the ages of 9 and 16. Shizuru learns exactly what she has gotten herself into, and goes into a brief period of fear, which is relieved as time goes by. She relaxes around Natsuki, and waits patiently for Natsuki to open up to her. Natsuki herself is mistrusting of Shizuru, even a bit fearful, but is unable to completely tear herself away as, like all children, she needs a friend. The actual moment of when their friendship forms is not shown, because there isn't an exact moment. Their friendship actually started with those boring nights of Shizuru studying, with Natsuki watching secretly from behind the mirror. Though Natsuki denies any and all feelings of liking Shizuru, merely as a friend (she is still very young), the bond is already formed. The exact moment of their person to person communication is, therefore, not really needed.
I hope I have written the scene properly so as this particular part in their life is not much missed.
Then the final part, Maturing. It is mostly a glimpse into the next chapter. The next chapter will focus on the romance of their relationship, and the problem that arises between them. The next chapter is where the actual build up to the climax commences. The fall will come very soon after, then another, smaller, climactic moment, the final fall and the end, whatever it might be, soon after that.
I hope you enjoyed this chapter. The next will come soon.
Until then,
~K-promises-fall.