Thank you so much for the reviews :) I hope everyone enjoys this chapter. This story is meant to be choppy and put together in pieces. Also The journal entry is supposed to be incoherent because Clare is not in the right mind set.

Her parents had decided to get a divorce and she could feel herself getting lost in an abyss. The darkness consumed her and she went to the only place in her life where she had a voice, her consumed her life and counting calories became the only thing she did after need to stay in control was almost too much to handle and eating or the lack there of was a way of staying in control. The mirror told her she wasn't good enough and she listened. The mirror pointed out all of her imperfections and she hated that and she hated herself for looking the way that she did.

"Clare what the hell is going on with you?" Eli asked a little more harshly than he probably should of but Clare was acting so weird, much weirder than normal, and he was starting to get worried.

"My parents are getting a divorce. Now if you don't mind I have to get to the library and do some studying." Clare shouted, slamming her locker door shut and trying but failing to get away from Eli.

When Eli grabbed Clare's arm he let a gasp escape his lips, she was skin and bone. The thick sweater she was wearing was clearly hiding just how skinny she truly was. " Clare can we get some lunch, please?"

Of course Clare agreed, after all she could purge what she had eaten later.

The Dot wasn't as crowded as it usually was on a Wednesday Afternoon and for that Eli was grateful, perhaps Clare would be more willing to open up about what was going on with he

"You know if there's anything going on you can tell me." Eli spoke softly, uncertainly, note here sure what it was he was supposed to say in a situation like this.

Clare knew what she had to do and that was to push him away. " You. Eli you're part of the reason that I've been so stressed out. I keep thinking about how much time you'll need?I worry that I'm not giving you enough space or maybe I'm giving you too much. I keep thinking that maybe you never wanted time in the beginning but maybe you just didn't like me. I can't sleep, I can't eat, and I can't focus on anything because for some god damn reason I've fallen for you. I'm sorry but I just, I have to go."

To say that the goth boy y was shocked when Clare stormed out of the Dot in a fit of curls and tears would be an understatement. Was Clare really working herself into frailty because of him?

When you're a kid, you don't think about what size you are, the numbers on the scale, or the image the mirror shows you. When you're a kid it's about the wind in your hair and the sun in your face, and the freedom to make any choice you so choose. Clare missed being free and not having to worry about divorces or looking beautiful. Clare missed the large stack of pancakes on Sunday mornings and the buttery popcorn on Friday night sleepovers but most importantly she missed the memories that came along with them. She missed running down the street like the world was chasing her. Now, she ran like pounds were after her and it didn't feel the same.

Every night she wrote in her journal :

I woke up like normal this morning at four thirty and jogged a mile because it has become so regular in my morning routine. I ate an apple and I drank some water and it felt right. Then I went upstairs and I caught myself in the mirror and I want to vomit. I looked like a cow, with fat hanging everywhere and I wanted to cut it off. The scale is a liar and I won't be using it anymore. The scale showed a 97 the other day ,but it's a liar because at 97 pounds I would look beautiful and I look ginormous. I feel disgusting.

The days feel like they're getting longer and longer. I don't like the feeling. I only want to sleep and I long for the end of the day when I can finally shut my eyes and go off into the darkness.

Darcy has taken to watching me. I can feel her eyes on me at all times and it makes me nervous. I wish she'd mind her own business and focus on school or Peter but she just seems too focused on me.

Clare shuts her journal and puts it under her pillow so no one will read it while she takes a break in the land of her dreams.

The morning comes too early and she can hear the tick-tock of the grandfather clock and it's enough to make her realize what her life has come to. Her life has become sneaking around in the quiet and hearing the clock chime too ensure she'll have enough time to workout. The morning is peaceful but Clare is not. The running is hard, her breathing doesn't come out of her body like it should and her frail body protests the movements and she's begging her body not to give up on her. The body who had never once given up on her could barely give in to her demands, she was on the verge of collapse but she just kept pushing it further away. What didn't kill her would make her stronger, right? Wrong.

" Mom?" Adam Torres questioned as the Torres family made their way to school that morning. " If a very good friend has something going on but is being super secretive how do you approach them?"

Drew looked at his little brother strangely because for all he knew Eli was fine but something was definitely going on with that Clare Edwards girl she looked like a zombie all the time. " What's going on with Clare?"

" Is there something wrong with Clare?" Audra Torres asked her son.

Adam nodded silently. " There are some things going on at home with her and I don't know what to do for her. Do you think she could spend the night tonight?"

Audra knew that Clare was an incredibly sweet girl and in some ways she imagined her to be the daughter she had always wanted Adam to be, if something was going on with this girl she would try her best to help. "Of course she can Adam. Dad and I are going out of town for the weekend so Drew please don't torture the poor girl okay."

Clare was standing at her locker when Adam approached and she nearly hopped out of her skin when she felt his hands on her.

"It's just me Clare." He smiled and turned her around to face him. " My parents are going away this weekend and I want you to spend the night!" When she looked at him uncertainly he practically begged, " Please Clare, I don't want to be alone with Drew."

Clare bite her bottom lip worriedly " Sure Adam. I'll have Darcy drop me off later."

He grabbed her arm and led her to their biology class.