Chapter 2 – Growing Together
1: Unnatural
It was natural.
Sitting at her usual post behind the mirror, eyes glowing in the darkness of the room, Natsuki thought of all the reasons that statement was both torturously true and foolishly false.
It was natural that Shizuru would have to marry. It was the way the world of the daytime ran. Little girls grew into beautiful women who would be married off to men and who would manage the household, produce babies and provide gentle arms for their husband to sleep in at night after a tiring days work. The maids giggled constantly about how handsome Shizuru's suitor was and how beautiful their children would be. Then again the maids also giggled of how Natsuki herself would take to the engagement, seeing as she was the "mysterious (male) phantom" who was taken in by their mistress and who had obviously fallen head over heals for her. This was natural for the humans.
It did not matter that Shizuru had been studying since before she turned nine. It did not matter that Shizuru was scarily intelligent and could very well manage on her own. No, what mattered was that she was female; young and female. Young females were to be arm accessories to young men. Young females were to fall in love with those men. And those men would in turn love them, and keep them safe; flatter them when they were at their worst, buy things for them that they didn't need. She knew this was natural because she had read it in many of the books Shizuru had on her bookshelf. She knew it was natural because she had ventured into the library and found many, many more stories with the same system. They made it seem so wonderful.
And yet Natsuki could never truly believe it natural. Natsuki herself was not deemed as something "natural", though she felt natural enough. Her heart still beat in her chest, albeit much faster than a human's. She could taste, hear, see and feel; she was just a bit more refined, or a bit more unrefined. But she had grown up amongst humans who thought her unnatural, and so she had come to believe herself not of nature. How can something not of nature ever believe in something said to be natural; normal?
She could not, would not, and would never.
The handsome young man who came to take away her Shizuru was a coward in fancy clothes. He did not know Shizuru. He spoke sweet words like poetry, but they lay empty – merely spoken to impress and soften. He courted Shizuru like a king, travelling the small town in a carriage to get dinner when he had already found himself in debt with several business men. Natsuki knew because the maids knew, for all their talk of white princes.
She hated him.
Oh, how she hated him.
She hated him because he planned to take what was hers, and she hated him more because he was not worthy of Shizuru. He knew he was not worthy, Natsuki knew he was not worthy, and even Miss Maria would frown sometimes, the old bat. Still Shizuru smiled politely at him and allowed him to court her.
And still she accepted his marriage proposal even as she returned to her room to suffer in silence and cry.
How, then, could something like this be natural?
How could it be the proper way?
"I have to marry sometime Natsuki. It's best to do it while I'm young."
"He is not good for you."
"He is better than some."
"But he is not good for you."
"... Would you think anyone good enough?" Her eyes – sad, resigned, determined – stared into her own. Natsuki thought they looked ready to hang.
"No..." She cast her own gaze to the floor. "No one. Not even me."
Shizuru's lips parted, then they closed and Shizuru turned back to the bed where her clothes for the evening were spread.
That one action hurt deeply.
2: Nature
"Come on."
She tugged at her hand, but Natsuki didn't budge. She refused to move.
Shizuru groaned, frustrated. Natsuki only smirked at her, knowing Shizuru would be unable to use force to get her to move. Natsuki was far stronger than Shizuru, even more so now that she was healthy.
"You can't tell me that you are afraid. Aren't phantoms supposed to thrive at night?"
"I am not moving."
"It is only a little bit of snow, and you haven't been outside for months."
The smirk grew wider. "There is nothing outside to interest me." The look she sent Shizuru spoke enough, and she laughed at the pink tint to Shizuru's cheeks.
Shizuru huffed and hit her playfully in the chest. Natsuki had finally grown to be the same height as Shizuru and only moved back a small step from the push. Then Shizuru smiled, eyes twinkling in the dark and said, "I'm outside," before running for the door.
Instantly Natsuki blocked her exit. "No you are not."
"You cheat."
Natsuki only smirked, and Shizuru turned, walking away in mock anger. Natsuki followed her with her eyes – ever the watchful phantom. Shizuru was only a meter away when Natsuki heard the shuffling of lazy footsteps. She tensed as the footsteps got closer. Her eyes turned to Shizuru, who seemed to have just heard the approaching person, and as Shizuru stepped back Natsuki grabbed her arm and pulled her outside into the soft snow. She took great care in locking the door and leaned against the wall, listening to see if the person had heard them leave. There was the sound of one of the cupboards being opened and then closed shortly after. Then the person moved further away and the kitchen door clicked shut.
Natsuki released a breath she didn't know she had been holding and turned to Shizuru who was leaning against the wall next to her. Shizuru was panting softly, her mouth curved in a smile as she blew out puffs of frost. Her cheeks were tinted a slight pink, and her eyes sparkled in a way Natsuki had grown very used to. She instinctively raised her eyebrow in a challenge; let Shizuru try and say something.
Shizuru only broadened her smile, raising her own brows as she said, "I thought that there was nothing interesting outside."
Natsuki broke eye contact to look at their surrounding. It was dark, and everything looked gray. The snow falling was soft and wet, she could see a fog creeping in from the next yard. "There wasn't."
She looked back at Shizuru and broke into a small smile of her own. "So I thought I'd bring something interesting with me."
Shizuru laughed, and Natsuki's couldn't help but laugh with her.
3: Expectations
Shizuru watched as the carriage pulled up before the door, the driver jumping lightly from his post and walking towards the side door to open it for his passenger. She subconsciously stepped a bit closer to Miss Maria as a young man in a dark suit and matching top hat emerged, strands of blond her curling at the back of his neck. The woman seemed to not notice her movement and stepped slightly ahead of Shizuru to great him.
Shizuru looked curiously at the driver, who stood by the carriage door, rubbing is gloved hands together as another cold wind blew, before she had no choice but to look at the young man who had departed from it.
He had a smooth, clean face and kind enough eyes, but Shizuru still had to force her body to cease fidgeting. Her heart beat desperately in her chest as she wished he would turn and get back in his carriage and drive off.
Her lips moved up into a small smile as Miss Maria introduced them to each other.
"Monsieur Roche, I would like you to meet the young mistress, Shizuru Viola."
At those words, training from her etiquette courses took hold, and Shizuru stepped forward and curtseyed, placing her hand in his as he held it out to her, and fighting off all improper reactions as he bent to kiss her hand. He smiled up at her as he straightened out, his hand still holding hers. "Mademoiselle, I must say that I am a man deeply surprised. Your beauty and grace far precedes that which I have heard in France."
"Sir," she could barely hear her own words over the rapid beating of her heart, and she hoped and prayed that Natsuki was not watching this. "You flatter me greatly with your kind words. Please, come in." She stepped to the side, sliding her hand out of his, and gestured inside the house, following behind and looking over her shoulder to cast one last look at the carriage through the closing door. It was moving away. She turned her head and took her place beside and slightly ahead of Monsieur Roche, leading him further into her house. She responded politely to his inquiries as they made their way to the drawing room, her heart in her stomach as she knew that there was no escaping this, and that Natsuki – the watchful person that she was – would see every second of her betrayal.
Natsuki watched his departure from the carriage with narrowed eyes from a third story window. The maids only cleaned the rooms on this floor once a week, and that day had been two days previous. Her eyes glowed brightly as she closed the curtain and she hissed slightly as she made her way back to the hidden passages in the walls to follow them. She rubbed angrily at her face as she went, flakes of blackened skin tearing off easily and floating to the floor as she moved. The skin underneath was still raw and Natsuki flinched and grunted when she opened a blister on the side of her face that had yet to fully heal. Ignoring the pain she continued down the levels.
"I do not like him."
Curled up beside the complaining vampire, Shizuru sighed. "I know you don't." She shifted, finding the space between Natsuki's neck and shoulder to be very comfortable and placing her nose against the cold but familiar skin. "You have merely said so a thousand times."
Natsuki scoffed, looking at Shizuru through the corner of her eye. "Only a thousand? Then it begs to be said a lot more. I do not like him."
Shizuru's hand found its way under Natsuki's loose shirt and traced her side gently with her finger. Natsuki stiffened reflexively and turned her head to look at her, but could only see the top of her head. Did Shizuru know what she was doing?
Apparently not as Shizuru breathed out onto her neck and burrowed closer into the spot. She felt the small smile on Shizuru's lips on her neck and exhaled sharply as Shizuru laughed into the same spot. "Will Natsuki say the same thing even after I am married to him?"
She was suddenly angry, her eyes flashed a brilliant green as she grabbed Shizuru hands held them above her head, pinning her to the bed. She glared fiercely into her surprised eyes and in a fierce, heated whisper, barely remembering the need for quiet conversation when she was with Shizuru these days, said, "You are not marrying him. You're not. So don't even think it!"
She breathed heavily, staring into the crimson orbs below her. Ready to lash out if Shizuru tried to deny it, but Shizuru said nothing, only stared up at her in confusion and muted gratitude. Natsuki's breathing slowly evened out, and her grip on Shizuru's hands loosened, her forehead lowering to rest on Shizuru's own as they retained eye contact.
When her breathing calmed she whispered another denial. "You are not."
Beneath her Shizuru smiled coyly. "I have to marry sometime Natsuki," she whispered back her voice soft and gentle, as if explaining something to a child.
Without thinking, Natsuki closed the gap between them, melding their lips together in a kiss similar to the many she had read about in books taken from the library. Chaste they described it as. When she pulled away Shizuru's eyes were wide, and her body had gone rigid beneath her. Seeing the words forming on her lips Natsuki dove in again. This time pressing her lips more firmly over Shizuru and coaxing them to move with hers. She smiled when they did and shivered as a hand ran through her hair to massage her scalp.
Kissing Shizuru was perfect. It wasn't exactly as she had imagined it being. They were both inexperienced and Shizuru's lips were tentative against her own, hesitating. But it was perfect just the same. It was perfect simply for the reason that she was kissing Shizuru and Shizuru was kissing back.
She pulled back slightly and opened her eyes, smiling as Shizuru did the same. Shizuru looked nervous, happy, confused and surprised all at the same time. Natsuki couldn't help but chuckle a bit and nudge her nose against Shizuru's. The words that came out of her mouth were soft and light, though she was very much serious. "You can marry me."
She leaned in for another kiss, jumping on the inside when Shizuru met her halfway, and when they split apart Natsuki murmured on her lips an affirmation, "You can marry me."
Later she would think about how such a thing was impossible. Later Shizuru would point out that not only were they both female, but Natsuki was a vampire and they would both be killed the second they went out into public together, much less talked to a priest. Later they would figure out all the little details that made such a thing impossible. Right now all that mattered was the meaning behind those words, all that mattered was the emotions from the years leading up to this moment, where everything that was done was done without forethought or premeditation, without doubt or question.
Shizuru's hand once again found contact with the skin of Natsuki's stomach and Natsuki broke their kiss to exhale heavily onto her neck. The hands under her shirt caressed her stomach, exploring the muscle that had formed due whatever activity Natsuki did when not in her presence. Natsuki's mouth trailed kisses down Shizuru's jawline as her hands caressed her sides through the thin material of her nightgown. She paused at her neck, rubbing her nose against the spot before gently tracing her fangs over it. Shizuru's hand on her stomach froze, and before Natsuki could think about what she was doing, her fangs pierced skin.
Shizuru arched beneath her, whimpering slightly as conscious thought rushed back to her. But before she could panic, Natsuki's fangs retracted, her tongue gently licking at the two small holes and kissing them gently before retreating, looking at her handy-work with misty eyes. She caught Shizuru's hand, which had moved up to touch the spot and held it gently as she rolled them both onto her side.
Shizuru could feel her heart beating in her chest. The beats were strong, but spaced out. She felt tired. "Natsuki?"
Natsuki looked up at her, still holding her hand and tracing the contours of it with her fingers. Natsuki smiled at her, the smile vanishing as quickly as it appeared. "You can marry me Shizuru... You are already mine."
They both fell asleep.
And when Natsuki woke up she stared with wide, frightened eyes at the two small dots on Shizuru's neck, listening to her slightly faster heartbeat and wondering just what it was that she had done.
4: Promises
News came a few mornings before the wedding. The kind Frenchman had been out drinking in celebration of his upcoming marriage and had been quite intoxicated when he left the bar. His dead body had later been found behind the bar when the bartender had been closing for the night. His death had been brutal; he had signs of strangulation around his neck and bruises on his back from being slammed into the wall of the building, as well as a jagged, deep cut along the base of his throat. His body had been severely drained of blood and the authorities thought he had to have been killed at another location before being moved to where he was found since few bloodstains marred that area.
Shizuru had retreated to her room, ignoring the expressions of concern and murmurings of sympathy from the maids. Her eyes scanned her bedroom to find it empty, but Natsuki was here of course, because Natsuki had followed her here. She walked over to the mirror and found the tell tale green glow from Natsuki's eyes. She stepped closer, and could faintly make out the outline of Natsuki's body. Her eyes narrowed.
"You've heard."
The shadow nodded. "I hear everything."
Shizuru nodded back. "Of course."
"Is that-
"What a strange coincidence that he should happen upon such... misfortune three days before our wedding."
Shizuru's eyes glared at Natsuki behind the glass. Natsuki's own eyes narrowed in response.
"Yes... Someone managed to kill the bastard before I did."
Shizuru stepped even closer to the glass, puffs of breath misting over the surface, her red eyes aiming to melt a hole into the mirror. She was in no mood for word games. "Did you kill him?"
"I just said that I-
"Natsuki! Tell me the truth. Did you kill Monsieur Roche?"
The silence between them stretched out like a heavy fog. Shizuru mentally cursed the mirror that separated them and kept her from clearly seeing the expressions the other girl was making and inwardly fumed at Natsuki for remaining behind it even as her crimson glare pierced the mirror and bore into the person behind it. Her breathing was heavier than usual.
Behind the mirror, the glow in Natsuki's eyes lessoned. Her answer was smooth and unrestricted, her eyes not appearing to shift from what little Shizuru could see. "No, I did not."
Shizuru watched as the figure walked away and sighed in frustration. Natsuki very well might have been telling the truth, but she didn't think she was. Maybe she was showing too little trust in her phantom but she still remembered that night; still remembered the look in Natsuki's eyes.
A monster had roamed the streets last night. It had killed her fiancé and freed her of her ties to him.
And Natsuki was continuing to change.
End Chapter
There.
This one took quite a while to write due to the fact that I am not a romance writer, but I felt compelled to write today, and this story was on my mind. Forgive me if it is not very romancey; I did try and go through and fix some areas, but I must confess my doubt of how everything turned out. But... now that the hard part is over, the next chapter should be easy, as it concerns the themes I do best.
I suppose I should talk a bit on this chapter.
The order of events in this chapter isn't exactly the order in which these events occur. Part 2 happens first, then the flashback of Part 3, Part 1 can occur either before or after the rest of Part 3, but I think it fits best before; else Natsuki's thoughts would have been plagued by what she did to Shizuru. And Part 4 finishes everything nicely.
Part 3 is the most important part of this story to date. It commences the changes between the two. A line was crossed, and what happens after this are results of that line being crossed. This part effectively builds the start to our climax. Things are changing. Shizuru has been changed, Natsuki is changing (perhaps not for the better) and there are yet more changes to occur.
Now just so that there is no confusion on the last part, Shizuru is not sad that Monsieur Roche is dead. She isn't happy, but she does not mourn him. She is not upset because he has died; she is upset because of the possibility that Natsuki was the one who killed him. Shizuru is starting to doubt Natsuki. Maybe old fears are creeping back in? And maybe Natsuki didn't kill her fiancé. That doesn't matter, what matters is that festering doubt.
But, alas, if I talk much more I might give away the rest of the tale, though some of you might know how things will turn out from what I've already written. If you do, don't tell anyone, and stick around to see if you deduced correctly.
Until Chapter 3,
~K-promises-fall.