I was going to go in a different direction with this chapter at first, but I wanted to keep everyone as close to character as possible while still letting them say what they needed to say to each other. All familiar people and places belong to Janet Evanovich. The mistakes are mine.

Chapter 2

I pulled into the lot of the Shop n Bag and dug around in my shoulder bag for my cell. The next item on the New and Improved Stephanie Plum's list is to call Tank, Ranger's right hand man. I'd rather have three root canals and my earlobes removed without anesthesia than call Tank, but I didn't have many options.

It would be okay, I said to myself. I'd get Tank to meet with me without Ranger finding out. At least, I hoped it would be without Ranger finding out. And ask him the name of someone who could help me. It shouldn't take longer than ten minutes. Fifteen, tops. And then it would be over. I knew that I needed to become better at my job. And I knew that I'd need some help to do it. And there was no one better to help me with that than Ranger and his men, but I wanted to avoid any awkward moments between Ranger and I. Or between Ranger's men and me if the talk I planned to have with Ranger didn't go as well as I'd hoped. Training at Rangeman would force us to see more of each other than usual. Although I knew I wanted Ranger in my life no matter what happened, I also knew that at first it would be difficult to see him knowing that he didn't want me. So I needed a place that had the same standards as Rangeman; minus a Ranger, to help me.

What I said to Joe was true. My trying to fix my life had nothing to do with Ranger. Yes, I wanted him as my partner, but I also wanted to be a complete person without him. That meant taking responsibility of every part of my life. From my family, my personal relationships, to how I did my job. I needed to know that if Ranger rejected me, I would be able to move on with my life. And as much as I meant that, I prayed to God that I wouldn't need to.

I blew out the breath I'd been holding as I dialed Tank's number. I wasn't comfortable asking him for favors, but I didn't know who else would have an answer for me.

"Tank here," he said, his voice booming out into my car.

"Tank, it's Stephanie." I could almost hear the confusion and anxiety going through his mind as he tried to figure out why I was calling him.

"Ranger's in his office," he said."I can patch you through if you need him." He paused for moment as another thought occurred to him. His voice sharpened as he became more alert."Are you in trouble? Do you need backup?"

Of course he'd think that the only reason I'd call him would be if I needed help. After all, I've had his number for years and have only called him a handful of times. And while it was true that I needed help this time as well, it was a different kind entirely.

"I'm fine," I told him."I just wanted to discuss something with you and was wondering if you could meet me somewhere."

"You want to discuss something with me?"

"Yes," I told him."When you get off shift can you spare me a few minutes?"

"But the Boss ..."

"Doesn't have anything to do with this," I said."And he doesn't have to know."

"I don't think it's a good idea," Tank said.

Jeez. Tank was six and a half feet tall, had muscles growing out of muscles, and was even friends with Ranger, and yet he was still scared spitless of him. Then again, Ranger still scared me at times and I knew that he would never physically harm me. Tank wasn't so lucky.

"So do you have time?"

I think I may have heard him sigh a little."Where?"

"The Blue Bird?"

"Five o'clock," Tank said a second before hanging up. I was telling myself that Ranger must have come up behind him or something. I didn't want to believe that every Rangeman was required to have horrible phone manners.

I'd only been to the Blue Bird Luncheonette once since the whole Cone nightmare happened. The food was good, but the memories weren't. I'd picked the Blue Bird because it was outside of the Burg. And it wasn't a place I normally hung out, so the chances of bumping into someone I knew were slim. Plus I knew Tank would know where it was because of it's connection to me.

Well, at least I had one more thing I could check off. Okay, so I still had to talk to Tank face to face, but I thought the hardest part was over with. He said he would meet me. That had been the best case scenario. And the good news is that I now had somewhere to be this evening. I had a legitimate reason to leave my parents' house at a set time in case things didn't go well with my mother. And I wouldn't have to stay for dinner, either.

I wanted to be the one to tell her about my split with Morelli. And I had to somehow make her see that I was fine without him. That it was what I wanted. She was going to burn the soles off of her shoes trying to gather a list of potential Burg son-in-laws and I wasn't going to let her do it. There was only one man that I wanted. I just haven't told him yet.

I started my car and drove straight to my parents' house, not giving myself the opportunity to stall. If I wanted to be treated like an adult then I had to start acting like one. Which meant no more avoiding things that were unpleasant. Confronting my mother was probably the most unpleasant thing I could come up. Probably second only to calling Tank.

"Stephanie, what a nice surprise," my mother said as I walked through the front door."I didn't know you were coming over."

I didn't think she'd view it as a nice surprise once I told her about breaking up with Joe. She'll think that I screwed up again. But I knew I hadn't. It would have been beyond selfish of me to hang on to Joe and mess up his life by knowing full well that I wasn't ever going to be what he needs. I've made my peace with it, but my mother was going to be a harder sell.

"I wanted to talk to you," I said.

"You sound so serious." She paused on her way back to the kitchen."Is there someone after you again?" She asked.

Yeah, I thought to myself, my own conscience.

"Where's Dad and Grandma?"

"Your father had to drive someone home from the lodge," she said."And you're grandmother is supposed to be at bingo, but who knows if she's really there."

If I had to make a guess, I'd say that she was at the male strip club that just opened near Center Street.

"Come sit down," my mother said to me."I made oatmeal cookies this morning."

Maybe my day was looking up. I took a seat at the kitchen table and she put the cookie jar in front of me along with a glass of milk. Hard to feel like a grown up when your mother kept giving you milk and cookies whenever you dropped by, but I was still going to try.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" she asked."You never did tell me if someone was after you again."

"No one is trying to kill me today," I said. At least none that I know of."I wanted you to hear this from me ... I broke up with Morelli."

My mother didn't bat an eye at the news."You're always breaking up with Joseph," she said."Honestly, I don't know how that man puts up with it."

So maybe my day wasn't going to be so good after all.

"No. I mean I broke it off for good," I said to her."And I told him that he needed to find someone who wasn't me to spend the rest of his life with."

"Oh, Stephanie, how could you do that to him? That man loves you."

"And I love him, but not the way that I should."

"How can you say that after all the time Joseph has spent been putting up with your job, your constant stalkers, and buildings you have blown up? And don't get me started on all of the cars that you've sent to the junk yard."

"Okay," I said."I won't."

"Don't you get fresh with me young lady."

"I'm not." Not really, anyway."I get it, Mom," I said."I think, here we go again. Poor misguided Stephanie has gone and messed up her life one more time. But, for once, can we just get past that and have a normal conversation?"

"Stephanie Plum, that is not the way I raised you to speak to me."

"Maybe that's the problem," I said. I wasn't planning on starting anything, but since she brought it up."I came here to tell you something that I felt was important to me, and you're ready to jump on the Stephanie's-A-Screwup bandwagon. I did what was best for Joe and I. And no matter how hard you try to make me feel bad about it, it's not going to work."

"And Joseph agrees with this?"

"Not right now," I said, honestly."But he will."

"Obviously, you know what's wrong with your relationship," she said to me,"so why aren't you over there trying to fix it instead of coming here to tell me that it's over between the two of you?"

"Because I don't want to fix it," I said."Not this time. I'm ready to make decisions based on what I need, not on what will make everyone around me happy."

"And breaking up with Joseph Morelli is one of them?"

"Yes."

"Stephanie, what is wrong with you?" My mother asked."He's a nice looking young man. He has a steady job. And he owns his own home. I don't understand what else you could possibly want."

"That's always been the issue between us, Mom," I said."You have never understood me. I have a job. And an apartment. I don't need his house or his paycheck. And I definitely don't want to get married to get them. I've said that over and over again."

"Every woman wants to get married," my mother said.

"Not me," I told her."And I was married. Look how well that turned out."

"Joseph wouldn't act the way Dickie Orr did."

I'd like to think that Joe wouldn't have cheated on me, but that wasn't really the point.

"The point is that I'm not seeing Joe anymore," I said to her."I wanted you to know so you didn't invite him over for dinner thinking that we were still together."

"He must be heartbroken," she said."He's never shown any interest in settling down until you. And now you went ahead and dumped him."

I thought that sounded a little harsh. I didn't dump him. I gave him the freedom to go after the life that he wanted.

"Why do you always do that?" I asked.

"Do what?"

"Take everyone's side but mine. I'm your daughter, remember? What happened to the saying blood is thicker than water?"

"I was in labor for more than twenty four hours with you, Stephanie," she said."I'm well aware that you're my daughter."

"That's not what I mean," I said."You're so worried about how Morelli might be feeling that you haven't even asked about me."

"You're the one that broke up with him."

"Aren't you wondering why?"

"Wondering what?"

"Why after years of seeing each other I finally called it quits almost out of the blue."

"Okay," she said, resigned."Why did you suddenly end things with Joseph? You must have had a reason."

"I did. And I do," I said."I'm making some long overdue changes in my life. I want to be able to wake up in the morning and be happy about it."

My mother looked pained."You don't have to be so dramatic, Stephanie. Of course you're happy."

"No, Mom. I'm not. But I plan on being very soon." If I knew how Ranger felt, I might be happier a lot sooner."And I'm not being dramatic, I'm being honest."

"Marrying Joseph wouldn't have been the worst thing in the world."

"It would have been for the two of us," I said."And I just told you that I didn't want to get married. You know it's funny, Mary Lou knew from the time she was a little girl that she wanted to get married and have children when she grew up. And everyone says 'Good for her. She knew exactly what she wanted at a young age and succeeded in getting it'. I knew from the exact same age that I didn't want those things for my life. And everybody is still waiting for me to change my mind. What's the difference?"

"Mary Lou has always had a good head on her shoulders."

"Unlike flighty Stephanie?"

"You asked me a question," she said,"at least you can do is let me answer it."

I waved my hand at her."All right," I said."Go ahead."

"You have to admit that you haven't always made the best choices."

"You loved Dickie when you met him," I said to her."And you even pushed me to marry him."

"In that case," she said,"I made a mistake."

"Just in that case?"

"What is it that you want from me?"

Finally, we were getting somewhere."I want us to start being honest with each other. I'm willing to listen to your opinion, but I'm not going to base my life around it anymore."

"I know you may think that I'm nothing but a Burg Busybody," she said,"but I do want what is best for you."

"I'm sure you do, Mom, but most of the time it doesn't feel that way," I told her."I stopped being a child years ago, although it may not look like it at times, but I've still been letting you tell me what to do. I have to stop listening to you and everyone else now, and start making choices that are right for me."

"And you're sure ending things with Joseph is necessary?"

"Yes," I said."He deserves better than what I could give him. And he doesn't need you, or his mother, scheming to try to get us back together again, either."

"I wouldn't ..."

"We both know that you would, so it doesn't help things by denying it."

"You're right," she said."I would have been on the phone with Angie Morelli by the time you had the door closed behind you."

"And now?"

"Now I'll let you handle this your way."

"Do you mean that?" I asked."I don't want you to just say what I want to hear and then tomorrow it's back to 'why does this always happen to my daughter?"

"I don't sound like that!"

"Yeah, Mom," I told her,"you do."

"Okay," she said."Maybe I do. So how exactly would you like me to go about changing that?"

"First off, I want you to accept that Joe and I aren't going to be anything beyond friends. And no trying to fix me up with the sons of anyone you bump into at the store." I told her."I'm capable of finding someone on my own." She didn't have to know yet that I already had someone in mind."And I'm not going to give up my job with Vinnie, either. So no more career suggestions. If and when I decide that I want to change professions, I'll find something on my own."

"Is that all? No set ups and complaints about your job?"

"Those are the major ones," I told her."I would like us to be able to talk to each other without all the guilt, manipulation, or exaggerated emotions, too. If you have something to say to me, then just say it. Don't start asking the ceiling questions like 'Why me?' And stop dragging Mrs. Bolick or Mrs. Dulcci's daughters into our discussions."

"Honestly, Stephanie, you're making me out to be some kind of crazy woman."

"I wouldn't say crazy," I said."Just really, really opinionated. I'm not saying that what I want is better than what you, Valerie, or Mary Lou have. It's just different."

"I know that I've never shown it, but I really am proud of you. The way that you can handle yourself in any situation. Maybe I haven't shown it because I'm a little envious of you, too. You've always had your own mind. And you're never afraid to try new things no matter how crazy they seem. At least you can say that you have lived. I love your father. And I love being married and having the two of you. But there's a part of me that has always wanted something that was mine. I've wanted to go back to school to become a nurse for the longest time, but I still haven't pursued it aside from picking up a few brochures."

"You should go for it, Mom," I told her."Taking care of people and ordering them around is your specialty."

"Very funny."

My father walked into the kitchen ten minutes later. We were still sitting at the table eating cookies. Well, I was eating cookies. My mother was busy wiping away the crumbs from them. I let her. I knew she wouldn't be able to change every aspect of her personality overnight. The tension in the room was mostly gone, but not completely.

"What's going on in here?" My father asked, looking back and forth between us.

"We were just having a little girl talk," my mother said.

He looked over at me, I assumed, for more of an explanation.

"I broke up with Joe," I told him.

"Finally," he said."I always thought that any boy that looked like him was trouble. I never trusted him, either. Especially not after what he pulled when you were teenagers."

This was news to me. I thought my father's only problem was Morelli trying to steal his dessert when my father wasn't looking. I guess it was lucky for Joe that my mother never told my father about the choo-choo incident.

"Joe's a good guy," I said.

"But you can do better."

I thought about Ranger. I couldn't do much better than him, I thought.

"You haven't been giving Stephanie a hard time about this, too, have you?" He asked my mom.

It was weird that I felt an urge to defend her instead of myself. I was making progress. I was also keeping my mouth shut.

"We've talked about it," she told him,"and Stephanie has told me that it was for the best. I'm not sure I agree with that, but it's her decision. And that's all I'm going to say on the subject."

I almost laughed out loud at the look of shock on my father's face.

"Is she sick or something? Should we call the doctor?"

"Mom has turned over a new leaf," I told him.

"It's about time," my father said."I've always thought that she was too hard on you."

"Frank, you never said anything about that to me," she said, shooting a glare his way.

Finally! She chose someone other than me as a target even though I was still in the room.

"I figured that if it really bothered her," he said,"Stephanie would have talked to you about it."

Oh boy. I don't know what family my father thought he'd been living with all these years, but this one never talked about that kind of stuff. That was obvious to me, since it took me almost thirty years to actually do it.

"Well, we talked about it today," I said."Hey, Dad? What do you think about Mom going back to school?" I got her to butt out of my life, but that didn't mean I couldn't butt into hers.

"For what?"

"We talked about this a while ago, Frank," she said."You know that I wanted to become a nurse after the kids were grown. I'm seriously thinking about trying it.

"You want to be a nurse? Now?" he asked."What about all the stuff here?" He asked, gesturing around the kitchen.

"Oh, Frank, I can still do everything that I do now," she said."The only difference will be when you go to the lodge or make cab runs. Instead of being stuck here in the kitchen, I'll be at school."

It was nice to see my parents communicating like a normal couple. Actually talking to each other instead of nagging and ignoring. It just goes to show that it's never too late to change anything.

After all the years of freaking out, worrying, and tippling, my mother could now concentrate on bettering her life instead of criticizing mine.

Who knew making some changes in my life would result in my mother changing hers.

I looked at my watch and realized that I'd been here longer than I thought. I had a half hour to get to the Blue Bird.

"I've got to get going," I said, hiking my bag onto my shoulder.

My mother's voice stopped me on my way to the door."You're father and I love you, Stephanie," she said, giving my father a nudge with her elbow."Right, Frank?"

"Uh-huh."

"I know we don't say it as often as we should."

Or at all, I thought.

"I love you guys, too," I said, wondering if anyone else could hear the theme music from The Twilight Zone playing in their heads, too."I'll see you later."

"Are you coming to dinner on Friday?"

"I'm not sure," I said. I'd much rather be having dinner cooked by Ella in Ranger's apartment, but I wasn't sure if that would be a possibility.

I guess I took too long to answer her, because she spoke again.

"I promise, no blind dates or set ups," she said, probably thinking that was why I hadn't answered her right away.

I smiled. Glad that I was able to."How about I call and let you know."

"All right," she said.

I paused, waiting to see if she was going to push the issue. She didn't. Score one for Stephanie, I thought to myself. I waved goodbye and climbed back into my car. I couldn't believe everything that had happened today. It felt a little surreal.

I pulled into the lot for the Blue Bird with ten minutes to spare. Of course Tank being a Rangeman was already there waiting for me. He was taking up most of a corner booth with his back to the wall. I didn't know how they did it. I'd begun thinking that Ranger had all the traffic lights in Trenton wired into some complicated Rangeman program to make sure they never hit a red light. But the restaurant seating thing, I didn't have an explanation for.

Tank's eyes shot to me the second I walked through the door. It was very different from when Ranger caught sight of me. Ranger would give me a thorough head to toe sweep that would leave me damp and breathing fast. Tank looked like he was trying to decide between bolting and throwing everyone out of the room so there would be no chance of something happening to me while he was close by.

When I reached his booth, I motioned for him to stay seated when I saw that he was about to stand. He had a cup coffee in front of him and nothing else. I don't know how he resisted dessert, considering Ranger's ban on anything with sugar in it and the fact that the dessert case was only six feet away from him. I suppose he could just like eating only things that were good for him, but I couldn't see how that was possible. My order for a piece of chocolate cream pie would have already been placed if I wasn't full of my mother's cookies. When the waitress came over to me, like Tank, I ordered only coffee, too. Except mine had cream and sugar added.

"Thank you for meeting me," I said to Tank when the waitress left.

"What's this all about?" he asked.

I guess he wasn't big on small talk. I answered his question with one of my own."Does Ranger know about this?"

"It's only a matter of time," Tank said.

"Jeez, Tank. Relax," I said to him in my most reassuring voice."I'm not going to get you killed. I plan on talking to Ranger about this soon, but right now I need a name."

"Of who?" he asked, sounding suspicious and more than a little wary.

I blew a curl off of my forehead. This was like pulling teeth."I want to become a better bounty hunter. I'm probably not going to be doing this job for the rest of my life, but I do want to get better at it while I am doing it. I just want to have a couple of self defense lessons, and maybe learn a few takedown maneuvers that will make apprehending a skip easier for someone like me who doesn't like using a gun unless it's absolutely necessary. I need the name of someone who can offer me that."

"Why did you want to talk to me about this?" Tank asked."Ranger has never said no to you. In fact, I'm sure he'd be relieved to hear that you're taking this job seriously. He also has a fully equipped gym. And he has knowledge of anything you could possibly want to know about skip tracing. Why don't you just ask him for help?"

"It's complicated," I told him.

"Shit," Tank said."Are we about to get our asses kicked again. Last time something happened with you, half the men ended up limping for a week."

"No, it's nothing like that," I told him."I just want to learn a few things to make my job easier. It's not really a big deal."

I could tell that one of the reasons Tank is Ranger's second in command was the fact that he didn't miss much. I felt like my mind was getting scanned with one of those machines they use at the airport.

"Okay," he said finally,"I'll help you, even though Ranger'll probably fire my ass when he finds out about this."

"If he finds out," I corrected.

"There are no if's with Ranger," Tank said."Especially where you're concerned. There's a guy in Newark that's really good. His name is Robert Perkins. I don't have his number on me right now, but I can call you later with it."

"Thanks, Tank," I said."I really appreciate it."

"Just remember that appreciation when Ranger is beating the hell out of me."

"I'll be sure to plead your case if he does find out."

Tank looked like he was about to roll his eyes, but instead just stood up after acknowledging my clearly delusional statement with a nod of his head. He paid for our coffee on his way out of the restaurant, so I grabbed my bag and slid out of the booth.

I had been right. Fifteen minutes and I was already back in my car on my way home.Now if only my conversation with Ranger could go this smoothly. I had given myself a twenty-four hour reprieve. And decided to wait until tomorrow to tackle Ranger. Apparently, which way I would tackle him wouldn't be known until then. I was hoping that the magical words that I needed to convince him that a relationship with me could work would somehow come to me when I was asleep, because I sure as heck haven't had any luck so far while I was actually awake. I wasn't allowing myself to think about what would come after the perfect words being said, though. I had hopes. And I had a lot of fears. But what would actually happen, I hadn't a clue.