Thanks to everyone who reviewed so far! Sorry I haven't updated in a while. After I watched the episode the other night I had some motivation to keep writing it. So, so sad. I hope you guys like this chapter! Please continue to read and let me know what you think!
"He's your brother?" The receptionist woman asked him, and Sam noticed the skeptical tone in her voice. He could also tell that she felt bad, and that she did want to help.
Sam nodded. "Yes, he is" It wasn't a complete lie. They were brothers, just not biologically. But that didn't matter.
The woman scrunched her face and looked at Sam hard. He knew that she knew they were not biologically related. He just hoped that she understood his desperation, understood that they were family even if they weren't biologically related, and would help him. She closed her eyes tightly quickly for a second before opening them again, she sighed slowly. And then she nodded, and Sam knew she was going to help him.
"Okay" The woman said. "Your brothers"
"Thank you" Sam said softly. His voice was quiet and he did not feel like he even really knew how to make it louder. The woman nodded.
"Chris Diaz is in surgery right now. The gunshot wound to his stomach went through a few of his organs, and has caused a lot of internal bleeding. They need to get that under control, and he's losing blood fast. They haven't been able to stop it yet. "
"Does he need blood? Does he need a blood transplant? I can donate. I have a room full of officers that are willing to donate. I know they are. We can help." Sam said quickly.
The woman shook her head. "They aren't going to give him any blood transplants until they can get the bleeding under control. He may not even need it."
"What do you mean? What do you mean." Sam said quickly. He thought he knew what she was trying to say but he needed to hear her say it.
"Sir, your friend, your brother," The woman hesitated for a few seconds, "Chris Diaz might not make it out of surgery" The woman sighed.
Sam felt sick again. He shook his head frantically. "No, no, he'll be okay. He'll be alright." His voice was scaring him. It was desperate, wavering, about to break. It was scary.
"I'm just trying to prepare you, sir. It's not, it's not good. The surgery is still going on, but they aren't sure" The woman shook her head.
Sam stared at the desk for a few seconds. No. This couldn't be happening. No. Chris would be okay. He had to be okay. His head was spinning around and he felt like he was going to be sick. He wanted to throw up. He wanted to scream. But instead he looked back at the woman.
"What else can you tell me?" Sam asked. The desperation in his voice noticeable, despite how quiet he was.
"The gunshot wound to the stomach was worse than the wound to his leg. It was a through and through and it went through his back." The woman hesitated for a few seconds and looked at Sam.
Sam nodded. "Go on" He could tell there was something else she was going to say. He was scared, but he wanted her to tell him. He wanted to know.
"The bullet pierced his spine. The doctors aren't sure what the effects will be yet. But I should tell you that they could be pretty extreme. They might be, I just want to let you know" The woman said slowly.
Sam was breathing short and heavy. He felt like he was going to fall over. The bullet pierced his spine. He remembered what Chris had said about his leg. 'I can't feel it. It doesn't hurt.' Sam had been worried then, he had thought maybe, maybe the bullet had hit his back, but now he knew, and it worried him more, it was almost like a punch to the stomach, and he wanted to throw up.
"Like what? Paralysis?" Sam asked softly. "He told me he couldn't feel his leg" Sam said quietly. The woman looked at him quickly and sadly. Sam knew that look, it was an apologetic, pitying look. She felt bad. She knew what that meant. If he couldn't feel his leg. The bullet had hit his spine. She knew what the effects could be.
The woman nodded. "Yes, paralysis is possible."
"How possible? What are the odds?" Sam asked, his voice forceful. He was surprised at how forceful it was.
"I can't give you a number" the woman started to say, but then she looked at Sam's face, recognized the desperation, the forceful tone in his voice. "Given that the bullet pierced his spine, and you said that he couldn't feel his leg, I'd say there is about an 80% chance of paralysis. But we don't know what extent it will be. It may be permanent it may not. We aren't sure how much of his body will be affected either."
Sam closed his eyes tightly. That's all he could do. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know what to do. All he did was close his eyes at the unjustness of it all. He opened them a second later. Paralyzed. Chris could be paralyzed. Sam nodded slowly.
"Thank you" Sam said to the woman. "Is there anything else you can tell me?"
The woman shook her head. "Not right now, no. I don't know anything else."
Sam started to walk away. "Thank you so much. I appreciate it."
The woman nodded. "I'm sorry"
"So am I" Sam said under his breath. He started to walk away back toward where his friends were sitting. The woman stopped him quickly.
"Ugh, sir." The woman said. She looked around the hall as if making sure that nobody was listening.
Sam walked back toward her. "Yes"
"If you, ugh, want to leave me your number, I can call you when I know something" The woman said and she looked around again to make sure that nobody was listening.
Sam nodded. He knew that this woman could get in trouble for doing this, and that she didn't even have to. But she was doing it anyway, just to try. And he knew she wanted to try to make them all feel better, and she knew that this might help even just a little bit.
Sam gave her his number. "Thank you so much"
The woman nodded. "I hope he's okay, your friend."
"Me too" Sam said, and then he walked back to the waiting room.
Oliver saw Sam first. He started to walk over to him. "What did you find out?" Oliver asked quickly. Everyone else turned around and noticed that Sam was back as well, and they all focused on him. Sam noticed that Traci and Jerry were back, and there were two clean t-shirts on the chair next to Jerry.
Sam walked toward them all more, and they all got up out of their chairs. Oliver placed his hand on Sam's shoulder, Dov was standing incredibly close to him. Traci and Jerry were looking at him desperately. Andy and Gail were watching eagerly.
"Well I ugh, she told me that he's still in surgery and that it, ugh, it," Sam looked around , and for a second thought maybe he would spare them the news that the woman just told him, but then he knew that they all wanted to know as badly as he did. He sighed. "The surgery isn't going that well. They still haven't been able to stop the bleeding, and he's lost a lot of blood. They aren't going to give him a blood transplant until they can stop the bleeding. If they can stop it" Sam said softly.
Everyone was quiet for a few seconds. Nobody wanted to speak. Oliver patted Sam on the shoulder. Traci gave him a slight nod. "He might not make it out of surgery" Sam said.
Everyone lost it. The barriers they were all trying to build up broke. They crumbled. Those words, they knew they were coming, they knew it was a possibility, but hearing them, made the barriers they built up crumble. Traci started to cry, she gave a quick, shriek, a loud, penetrating shriek, and then she fell to the floor. Sank down, and sat there crying. She brought her hands up to her face and cried into them.
Jerry followed her to the ground, holding her close to him. He helped her sit, prevented her from simply falling. But he too sat there, Traci pressed against him. His arms wrapped around her. He looked like he was going to throw up. He looked like he was going to cry. Sam didn't know if he would ever be able to get that look, of his friend, out of his head. Sam wanted to throw up too. He wanted to cry too.
Dov whipped around and punched the wall. He yelled out and then pressed himself against the wall, sliding down it slowly until he too was sitting on the ground. He stared at the wall across from him for several seconds before bringing his hands up to his face as well. His shoulders were shaking. Sam felt like he was going to cry. He looked away.
Gail was crying. She hadn't bothered to bring her hands up to her face, she was just crying. She had managed to sit back down into a chair, and she sat there curled up and crying. Sam could see her shaking and crying as well, and he looked away.
Andy was crying too. She had tears running down her face and had also sat down, she was next to Dov, and she wrapped her arms around him. He wrapped his around her, and they sat there and cried together. Andy had tears running down her face, Dov was shaking, but Sam knew that he was crying. He didn't blame him.
Oliver was still standing next to Sam. His hand was on Sam's shoulder. He gripped it tightly before sniffing as well. He placed his other hand on his own forehead, shaking his head, looking as if he was about to cry. He ran his hand through his hair, clenching it tightly, clenching it and pulling it slightly. Then he let go, he turned to Sam and hugged him tightly, without even looking at his face. He just hugged him quickly.
Sam breathed in quickly. He gasped. He breathed back out quickly. He gasped again. He gasped again. He hugged Oliver tightly. But he couldn't cry. Not yet. He still had more to tell them. He leaned in next to Oliver's ear. "That's not it"
Oliver nodded. He pressed Sam against him tightly. He had been there too. Oliver had been there too. He had seen Chris. He had heard him say 'I can't feel it. It doesn't hurt'. He knew too. "I know" Oliver said quietly.
Oliver let go of Sam slowly, looked at him and nodded. Sam knew he understood. Sam cleared his throat and looked at everyone. The tears had become sniffles and watery eyes. Traci and Jerry still sat hugging one another on the floor. Andy and Dov we still sitting side by side, Gail was still curled up in the chair. Oliver was still standing next to Sam. Oliver placed his hand on Sam's shoulder.
"Guys, that's ugh, that's not all. The bullet went through Chris's back. It pierced his spine." Sam said slowly. He heard some more groans and sniffles. But he had to keep going, he had to let it out. "So if he does make it out of surgery there's about an eighty percent chance that he will have at least some paralysis, they don't know how much yet, or what parts of his body will be affected. They don't know if it'll be permanent or not either." Sam said slowly.
Everyone was quiet for a few seconds again, and they were all just looking at Sam. He hated making them feel like this. He didn't want to make them like this. But he wanted to tell them. He thought they would want to know.
Oliver patted Sam's shoulder again. Sam knew that Oliver understood. Oliver understood how hard it was for Sam to do things like this and deal with his emotions. Sam wasn't a very emotional person. And he didn't always know how to deal with his emotions. And people didn't expect him to show them, so sometimes when he needed to, he felt like he couldn't, because it was what people were expecting of him. They were expecting him not to show emotion, they were expecting him to be strong and hold it all in. But sometimes he felt like he couldn't. Sam knew Jerry understood too, and they caught eyes. Jerry nodded at Sam, telling him it was alright, and Sam nodded back.
Traci shook her head. More tears were falling down her cheeks. Andy was starting to tear up again as well. Dov was staring at the wall across from him. Oliver patted Sam on the shoulder.
They continued to sit there quietly for a few more minutes until Sam finally cleared his throat. "I left my number with the woman at the desk. She said she's call me if she knew anything else"
Oliver nodded. Everyone was still tearing up, sniffling, talking to one another. Sam stood next to Oliver for a while. He was still trying to think about it himself. He still wasn't sure he had completely let himself hear and think about it yet. He was concentrated on telling it all to his friends. He hadn't really thought about it himself. But Chris was in surgery. Chris might not make it out of surgery. If he did, Chris had an eighty percent chance of being paralyzed in at least some way, maybe permanently, maybe not, maybe more of his body, maybe some parts. Sam could feel the tears welling up in his eyes. The quickness of his breathing becoming more and more fast. The sweat on his hands. The way his stomach felt like he was going to throw up. The tears welled in his eyes, weighing on the brim. One fell. But then he felt something else.
He felt something else in his pocket. His phone was vibrating, and it was the nurse.
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