*gasp* What is this? A chapter? :O

Yup! ^^

Enjoy!

When the Past is in the Present

Birdsong

Look, I know you're probably thinking that I'm some big jerk because of what I did. But I couldn't help it. I was just so... so...ornery! I feel so... so... betrayed! I just... Urgh!

They were too much like the words he had said to me before. He deserved everything I told him.

I take my anger out on some prey that just so decided to appear in front of me. I don't know why they had to come out at the moment, but it was okay. I had something to take my anger out at. I take my catch in my mouth and trudge back to the cave. By time I get there I'm so mad that I spit the food in a pile. ''There,'' I said angrily. Everyone's eye were on me and they looked rather curious about my foul mood. I ignored them and stomped over to a very mossy place, laid down, and attempted to sleep.

Except I couldn't shut my eyes. The information kept bouncing around in my head, hindering me incapable of actually resting. I give up on trying to sleep and start playing with some moss. I pretend that the moss is that traitorous tom.

''Birdsong, are you okay?'' asks Flowerstep. I jump in surprise and look at her. Why would she care about me? ''Did Ashheart say something in particular. Like that he likes someone else?''

Ugh. She doesn't care about me.

''Flowerstep!'' exclaimed a shocked Creampaw. ''Why would he have to say something like that?''

I like this girl.

Flowerstep shrugs, ''Just curious.''

The RiverClan apprentice looked at her with a mixture of anger and disbelief. ''It sounded more like you were asking her about Ashheart.''

Flowerstep flicked her tail. ''I have to keep an eye on him.''

''Yeah,'' I snorted. ''I'm sure he loves it.''

Flowerstep slitted her eyes at me but said nothing in returned. Instead, she walked away, her head held high. I rolled my eyes and flashed a quick thank you look at Creampaw.

With that little scene over, I go back to torturing the moss. I'm so engrossed in my activity that I don't notice Pinetail looming over me until he says, ''Do you hate moss or something?''

''No. I like moss. I'm just channeling my anger on it. If you like, I can instead channel it on you.''

''You really can't hold you're tongue,'' he observed.

I snorted. ''Why should I hold it? It gives cats a piece of my mind.''

He studied me with his pine green eyes. He was inspecting me. Judging to figure me out. It would make anyone else uncomfortable, but I'm used to it. That's the same sort of attention I got from most of WindClan. They just can't seem to forget It. ''Yes. It's good you speak your mind. You're brutally honest. I'll give that much.'' He looked me straight in the eye. ''But you don't care if someone gets hurt.''

''Well, maybe they deserve the suffering,'' I spat hotly. ''Maybe they lied about so much that they deserve the pain. What if they made you go through the worst days of your life? Huh? Don't you think that they deserve to feel a bit of pain?''

Pinetail looks at me curiously, as though he is actually seeing me for the first time. Am I really that unusual of a specimen? He then promptly turns away from me and pads over to talk with Skypaw, who was unusually quiet.

Wow, looks like another miracle.

It isn't long before Ashheart and Ravenwing bound into the cave. ''Great news! I know where the Tribe is located!'' exclaimed Ashheart.

''How did you find out?'' asked Flowerstep.

Ashheart shots a quick look at me. ''Well, while we were out exploring, we found a cat. He told us the way to go.'' He says the next words nervously. ''He offered to be our guide...''

''WHAT?!'' I explode. How could Ashheart strike up a deal with that jerk?! And Ravenwing, too?! Did I not display enough hostility?! Was it not understood that I hate that guy?! I glare daggers at Ashheart.

He looks at me nervously and says quickly, '' I didn't accept the offer. He said that he could that us there. He didn't push it.'' I soften my gaze, but still manage to look threatening.

Flowerstep takes advantage of the situation by saying, ''Oh, dear. Is there something going on here? I'm sure we would like an explanation on it.'' She cocks her head and gives me a bet that look. She's good at this.

''Well, you see, Birdsong was chasing after a mouse...'' Ravenwing told everyone what had happened. After the master story teller had finished, everyone was looking at me like I had two heads. I guess to them it was startling to know that my anger had snapped so quickly and that I knew this cat that lived in this area.

However, it wasn't like I wanted to know him.

''So, is he your old friend or something like that?'' asked Skypaw. The way he says it so casually makes me what to hit him, but I suppress the urge. It wasn't worth doing.

''You can say that,'' I mumble through clenched teeth. ''He isn't trustworthy. I don't think he was telling the truth when he said that he knew the way.'' I put my chin up. ''I think we should go the other way.''

''Look, Birdsong,'' says Pinetail as though he were lecturing me, ''I know you might have a rocky past with him.'' Rocky? Pft. That doesn't even begin to cover it. ''But, we need someone to help us. We have to get as many allies as possible. You know, the enemy can come at any moment.'' His features darkened.

I suppress a shiver. Just the thought of them made me want to crawl under a rock.

''Pinetail, do you really think that they will come that quickly?'' We all turn to face Creampaw. She is siting, looking at Pinetail with innocent eyes.

He looks a little worried. ''No, not this soon. Though, it's best not to dawdle.'' The RiverClan apprentice looks over at her snoozing brother.

A pang of sympathy hits me. Another memory of my past washes over me:

I'm pacing. Larkpaw watches me. I see her eyes drift from me to the other apprentices. I can hear their harsh whispers.

''She's going to have a sibling?''

''Is it going to be like her?''

''We're going to be stuck with another one of her?''

Larkpaw puts her muzzle on my back. ''Ignore them. Really. They aren't worth it.'' I give her a you crazy? Look. She grins and says, ''maybe.''

We are startled when Ravenpaw comes up to us. I shrink back automatically, but Ravenpaw says, ''They're just jealous that you'll get a sibling.'' And with that, she bounds over to her mentor, Softwind, who was waiting for her. I hear the other apprentices snicker at her. How cruel.

Just then Grasseyes, my mentor, rushes to me. ''Birdpaw.'' The look on his face tells me all. I run into the nursery. In front of me was my mother, her breathing shallow.

''Mom...''

''I don't know how much longer...'' she huffs. ''Look at me, Birdpaw.'' I obey. ''Please, take care of her.''

''Mom...''

''I don't think... I can... stay longer... make me... proud.''

I look over at the scrap of fur that was sister. ''I will. I promise.''

She smiles sweetly. I can't stand it. I take my sister from her and huddle with her in a corner until I know that I will never see my mother again.

I blink and the scene dissolves. Why did that particular memory resurface? Did it have something to do with what's going on. I rattle my brain and find nothing.

''Birdsong? You okay?''

''I'm fine,'' I snap at Ashheart. I almost regret it when he backs away, but then I remember that he had basically agreed to let that traitor lead us to the Tribe. That makes me not regret it.

''If this cat knows where the Tribe is, I'm willing to follow him. I want to be able to save the Clans,'' Creampaw took a deep breath, then looked at me. ''Birdsong, I understand that you may not want to do this, but... think about it. We are foreigners here. We should take a shot. And if he does end up betraying us, we'll apologize to you.''

I felt a major stab in my heart. Creampaw reminded me of Dreampaw way too much. Before I could control myself, I found myself replying, ''Fine. But I get to say I told you so if he betrays us.'' And so, it was decided that he would guide us to the tribe.

Just great.

Oh, dear, dear Birdsong. Sweetie, you need to learn how to manage your anger.

Well, hope you enjoyed this chapter. ;) Bye!