3 Chapters in one week! Please don't expect me to do that often. I know many of you are missing Edward. I am, too and I am anxious for him to get here!

Chapter 7- A Little Bit Stronger

Woke up late today and I still felt the sting of the pain

But I brushed my teeth anyway

I got dressed through the mess and put a smile on my face

I got a little bit stronger

-Sara Evans

Bella POV

You know that feeling you get when you dream that you're falling, and just before you hit the ground, your body jerks and you wake up? Well, that was what I'd just experienced, but my body actually felt like it hit the ground—hard. I was so sore everywhere. I didn't remember coming to bed. I remembered my dream though, and I shuddered at the memory. It was so real.

I looked at the clock; it was almost noon. I'd slept for 15 hours. I guessed that's why I was so sore. Even with the soreness, I felt remarkably better. When I got up and went into the bathroom, my stomach started growling. A glance in the mirror revealed a tornado of hair around my head; I kind of looked like I'd had rats playing in my hair. I smoothed it out with the hairbrush that was now on my vanity. I smiled.

Esme was the consummate hostess. A new decorative mirrored plate was on my vanity and it held a wooden handled hairbrush, a mirror, a selection of soaps and lotions, and a brand new toothbrush sitting next to a tube of toothpaste. There was even a razor. I brushed my hair and teeth, and washed my face, making myself at least feel, if not look, a bit more presentable.

I was a bit scared to face anyone, but I decided to go and find something to eat before I got dressed. I longed for a hot cup of coffee and could almost taste it in my mouth. I wasn't sure if Esme had a coffeepot, but knowing her, she did, and it was probably top of the line. I peeked my head out the door, and I didn't see or hear anyone. I took a really good look at the house as I walked through and was struck by the vast differences in this house from the one in Washington. It was quite large, but much cozier. I could tell it was a log cabin by the exposed logs on the inner walls. The great room was very large and open. The floor to ceiling windows looked out over the expansive yard to the river in the distance. A stone mantle surrounded a beautiful wood-burning fireplace that had family pictures displayed on it. I couldn't bring myself to take a closer look at the photos even though I wanted to so badly.

Edward's piano was in the corner, and the sun glinted off its top. I began to picture him sitting at it and quickly slammed the door on that thought. I looked out one of the windows and saw Esme digging in her flowerbeds. Her gardens were always so beautiful and the beds surrounding the house were no exception. She glanced up at me, and I waved timidly at her.

I walked into the kitchen, and I knew that she would join me momentarily. The kitchen was small but had a wrap-around counter that opened to the great room. I opened a cabinet near the sink and found a glass. I filled it with water and chugged it down. Upon hearing Esme enter the house, I felt shy as I realized it was the first time I'd been alone with her. She came in the kitchen and immediately put me at ease with her welcoming smile.

"Hi, Sweetie. How are you this morning?" She looked over at me expectantly. I couldn't meet her eyes.

I swallowed hard and bit my lip. I nervously picked at my nails. "I'm okay."

"Can I make you some lunch?" My stomach growled just thinking about food, and she chuckled, "I will take that as a yes."

"Actually, I am dying for a cup of coffee."

"That I can do. Which would you prefer regular or a cappuccino?"

I was afraid she wouldn't have coffee, and she offered me a cappuccino. "Regular is fine. Thank you." I smiled at her in thanks.

She set to making me some coffee, and I remembered the times that we had done this before – me watching her make me something to eat, and her moving smoothly around the kitchen like it was a habit when it actually wasn't. I choked a little, trying to stop the damn tears that threatened to fall.

She turned to look at me and reached across the counter for my hand when she saw my glistening eyes. "Oh, Bella, what it is? You can talk to me. You know that, right?"

A tear escaped, and I quickly wiped it away. I held her hands and gave her a wide smile. "I've missed you so much."

She came around the counter and pulled me close to her, enveloping me in a hug. "I missed you too."

We were holding tight to one another when Carlisle came into the room. I pulled away from Esme and gave him a small smile as I climbed up onto the stool. I picked at my nails as Esme made me a cup of coffee. She set a mug in front of me along with a small cut glass creamer and sugar set. I picked the hot mug up and took in the rich scent; it smelled so heavenly. I wanted to disregard the fact that it would burn me and just chug it down. Carlisle sat on the stool next to me while I added the cream and sugar and sipped the delicious brew.

"How are you feeling today?" he asked me casually.

I glanced over at him. I thought about that for a moment and took another sip. I didn't know exactly how to answer, so I just went with the truth.

"I guess I feel better. I don't remember going to bed."

I noticed the look that passed between Carlisle and Esme but didn't really know how to interpret it, so I didn't even try. I kept my eyes down.

"My legs and back really hurt, and I am so tired," I continued.

Carlisle nodded. "That is to be expected. I'm glad to see you up and around, though."

I started to smell bacon cooking, and I looked over, surprised that Esme was making me an omelet – bacon, cheese and onions. Oh my God, it smelled so good. My mouth was watering.

Carlisle turned his stool toward me. "Bella, can I ask you a question?"

I sat up and felt my shoulders go stiff. I wasn't really sure I was ready for what I knew was coming and felt a small bit of panic creep into my chest.

Esme slid the omelet onto a plate and added chunks of cantaloupe to it. I was touched that she remembered my favorite breakfast. She poured a tall glass of orange juice and set the feast in front of me next to a green cloth napkin with a silver fork and knife resting in a neat little pocket. I took a drink of the orange juice. Yum. Fresh squeezed.

I turned to Carlisle and nodded my ascent to his question while bracing myself.

He looked straight at me and asked his question with no hesitation. "What kind of drugs have you been taking?"

I gasped as the thought of drugs sent a shiver of want up my spine.

Way to get right to the point, Carlisle, I thought.

I picked the fork up and hesitated over my food before setting the fork down again. I swallowed hard and fought to keep from walking – no, running – away. I couldn't meet his or Esme's eyes. I was so embarrassed, and I think Carlisle realized that.

He put his hand on my shoulder. "Bella, you have nothing to be ashamed about. I only want to know so I can help you. If I know what you were taking, then I can form a better treatment plan to help you."

I nodded, and in my smallest voice, I admitted my vices. "Cocaine, marijuana, and lately, heroin; I took a lot of heroin."

I saw Carlisle assessing the news, but I didn't get the feeling he was judging me. In fact, I felt like he had removed himself from the situation and was acting as a doctor and not my almost father.

I still couldn't look up, but I did pick up my silverware and cut into the eggs. The melted cheese oozed out, and the string of gooey cheddar followed my fork up to my mouth. I took a small bite of the omelet. It was absolutely delicious. I closed my eyes to savor the taste. Edward used to make me ome—I dropped my fork at that thought. It hit the plate with a loud clatter. I wrapped my arms around my stomach and hunched over in pain.

Esme was at my side in a moment, a look of worry on her face.

"Are you okay?"

I nodded my head and got up from the stool. I couldn't explain myself. I started to move toward my room when Carlisle's voice stopped me.

I was taken aback by how firm his normally soft-spoken voice had become. "Bella, come back here. You have to eat. One bite of eggs isn't going to make you strong enough to heal."

I turned to look at him and he continued. "Your physical health is most important right now. You need to gain some strength."

I knew he was right; I did feel weak. I went back to my stool and mechanically ate almost all of the omelet and the fruit. Carlisle didn't ask me any more questions, and the normalcy of him reading the newspaper next to me as I ate actually calmed my nerves. I stood up to leave and thanked Esme as she took the dishes away.

"I'm going to take a shower, and then maybe I'll lie back down." My hands were shaking so hard, and I suddenly felt very hot. Carlisle noticed my hands and handed me a pill.

"That is the same pill I gave you last night, but a slightly smaller dose. The dose I gave you last night seemed to have been too strong. It may take a couple of days to find the correct dosage. I would prefer if you took an opiate blocker, but the Clonidine should continue to help with your symptoms."

I nodded and washed the pill down with the last of my orange juice, rinsed my glass, and filled it with water to take to my room. Carlisle watched me carefully as I moved to leave, and I could feel the nerves creeping up again.

A thought came to my mind, and I turned to look at him. "Where is everyone else?" I was worried that they resented my being here and had left to avoid having to be around me.

"Alice and Jasper are hunting, I believe, and Emmett and Rosalie are in the family room. Last I saw, Rosalie was beating Emmett's socks at off Wii bowling." He smiled.

I returned the smile even though I had no clue what Wii bowling was. I remembered how competitive they could be when they played games.

"I know Emmett would really like to see you," Carlisle mentioned.

I noticed he didn't include Rosalie. I guess nothing had changed. I should've been well used to the feeling, but it hurt as much as it always did. I was really excited, all of a sudden, to see Emmett. No matter what was happening at any given moment, he could make me smile, and with the nagging darkness I felt in my soul pulling me down, I needed a smile.

I started the bath and watched my reflection in the rapidly fogging mirror as the swirls of steam filled the bathroom. I wanted to lose myself in the mist. I stepped into the bath and relaxed in the hot water until it began to cool. As I felt the pill taking effect, my eyelids got heavy. I closed my eyes for just a moment. And unconsciously went to that place where the nightmares usually took hold. That time it wasn't a nightmare waiting for me.

It was a happy memory of me and Edward the summer before he left. We were sitting on a blanket, on the shore of the river, just out of sight of the house. I was resting my head on his stomach, reading a book while he stroked my hair. The air was humid, and steam rose from the grass surrounding us. I could smell the fresh air. I reached my hand out to stroke the soft grass, but it wasn't the grass I felt. I looked at my hand; it was covered in bugs.

There were millions of black bugs surrounding the blanket, covering the grass. I pulled my hand back and jerked into a sitting position splashing water over the edge of the tub. I was breathing hard and almost fell backwards into the water before catching myself. I closed my eyes and gave my head a shake to clear it.

When I opened my eyes, I took a deep breath and reminded myself it was just a dream. I was feeling so confused, and my head was fuzzy. I wrapped up in a bathrobe that was hanging behind the door, and as I stepped from the tile onto the carpet in my bedroom, I felt the cracking of the bugs I was smashing with each step. I ran across the floor killing thousands of bugs as I went and dove for my bed. I threw the covers over my head, scared out of my mind, and then quickly pulled them off and opened my mouth to call for Carlisle and Esme.

Before I made a sound, I glanced down at the carpet and saw that nothing was on the floor. My heart was beating so fast. I took a few deep breaths and realized that I had just imagined the bugs. I got out of bed and searched the room. I found no evidence of anything out of place.

I laughed at how silly I was and then stopped and frowned at my reflection in the mirror. I put my hands in my hair and pulled it away from my face.

"Ahhhh! I am going crazy!"

I pulled the curtains closed as much as I could to block out the late afternoon sun and yawned. I climbed into the gigantic, fluffy bed and closed my eyes as my head hit the pillow. My last thought as I drifted off was that the medicine was making me hallucinate.

I woke up later that evening to the sound of raindrops hitting the window. I felt very groggy and almost burst into tears. I looked up at the ceiling and blinked the tears away. I was trying so hard not to be sad, but sadness was the mantle that I had been carrying on my shoulders for so long. It was familiar, sadness and loss. I yearned for something to look forward to. I shook off the grogginess, blew out a loud breath, and resolved not to sink to under the weight of the depression.

I swung my legs over the bed and pulled them back suddenly, remembering the visions of bugs I had before I went to sleep. The delusions must have been from the pills. That was the only logical explanation. I knew I should tell Carlisle, but the pills seemed to be helping abate the cravings, and if it took seeing some crazy shit to feel better, I was more than willing to deal with it.

I gingerly crawled out of bed and opened the closet to find some clothes to wear. I smiled despite my dismal mood. I could tell Alice had been here that morning. Her hunting trip must have been to a mall. There was a whole rack of clothes, where before there were only about three shirts and two pairs of pants. I found skirts, pants, and blouses; you name it, and it was there. There was even a floor length, ice blue, satin dress. I had no clue what occasion Alice was preparing me for.

There were also about fifteen pairs of shoes on the floor. The shoes that caught my eye were a pair of blue sparkly Converse low tops. I grabbed them up and hugged them to my chest. I loved them instantly. It had been a long time since I had felt pleasure from something besides drugs. I set the shoes aside because I definitely was wearing them today and maybe every day until they fell apart.

I checked the dresser and sure enough, it was filled with undergarments of all kinds – sexy, lace sets and plain, cotton sets, along with a drawer full of pajamas that looked so comfortable. I internally debated whether or not I should just find a pair to wear and be comfortable. I decided against it and hoped that by getting dressed in actual clothes I would distract everyone enough with how I looked to hide how out of control I felt.

I went back to the closet and stood there for a minute, pondering my choices. I pulled out a bright yellow, long-sleeved t-shirt and a pair of jeans that ended up fitting me perfectly. I went with the cotton underwear, and I put on the cute blue shoes. I was so in love with all of the new things. Alice was a wonder.

I was nervous to face everyone, but I was the most nervous to face her. I didn't remember much about my first days here, but I did remember throwing something at her. I wanted to be strong enough to explain why I was so angry with her. I wanted her to know how much her abandonment hurt. Her leaving and not saying goodbye was the worst kind of betrayal. I knew I should still be angry, but as I pulled my hair up in a ponytail, I decided that if I was going to find any happiness in my circumstances, I needed to forgive her.

If I couldn't have Edward, at least I could have his family.

The thought of just his name sent a wave of blackness to my mind, and I sat down on the toilet to catch my breath. The worst part about being with the Cullens was the uncontrollable thoughts of Edward that crept into my brain when I'd worked so hard to wipe him away. It was bad enough that I dreamed of him every time I closed my eyes. I took a couple of deep breaths and resigned myself to letting go and reacquainting myself with my lost family. I also wanted to figure out what this Wii bowling thing that Emmett and Rosalie were playing was all about.

I left my little sanctuary, trying to be as quiet as possible. No one was about in the great room or the kitchen, but there was a tall pitcher of lemonade on the counter. It looked so yummy, with lemon slices floating amidst the ice cubes, that my mouth started watering. I poured myself a tall glass and enjoyed the tart flavor and the way it reminded me of summertime. Esme was a genius.

I took my glass with me and headed up the curving staircase that led to a large open room. It had bookshelves lining one wall, and a really large TV and entertainment system on the other. Emmett and Rosalie were playing a game with some sort of wheel as a remote; I hung back and shyly waited to be noticed. Rosalie was the first to notice me. She rolled her eyes and looked away. I almost turned and ran down the stairs, but a big bear of a man suddenly had me in his arms swinging me around in circles.

"Baby girl, you're awake!"

I giggled because of how silly he was, but I freed my arms and gave him a proper hug. "Hi, Emmett; you're looking good."

"Of course, I'm good looking." He waggled his eyebrows at me.

"Wow, I just saw your head grow a size larger. I didn't know that could happen." I smiled at his laughter. Rosalie, who was pointedly trying to ignore us, snorted at that.

"Ha Ha, you're a funny girl." He grabbed my hand and pulled me over to sit on the overstuffed couch. I chose instead to sit in the chair, farther away from Rosalie.

"So, Bella, have you ever played Mario Kart?"

I nodded. "Um, yeah, I played it on Nintendo 64." He handed me a white wheel.

"64 is old school; Nintendo Wii is way cooler. It's so awesome that you'll enjoy getting beat."

I sucked at video games, but the distraction was welcomed. As always, his enthusiasm was infectious.

He explained the controls to me. "This button is the gas. This one is the brake and is also reverse once you're stopped. You turn the wheel to steer just like a regular steering wheel, and if you pull the wheel up like this…" He jerked the wheel up toward his chest. "Then you'll do tricks when you jump."

I wasn't sure about playing, but I went with it. He started the game, and the blare of the familiar music made me jump. Emmett's sound system could rival any theatre's. The screen of the TV was so big that the split screens for each player looked like they were on their own regular-sized TV. I loved the game. We played about ten rounds, and when I got stuck behind something for the twentieth time even Rosalie was laughing. It felt so good to laugh, and it was so nice to be included, just like it was when we were in high school.

As it was obvious that I sucked at Mario Kart, Emmett pulled out Wii Sports, and I agreed to play in a bowling tournament; best of five games wins. Emmett hollered for Jasper to join us. I took a deep breath, a little anxious to see him after then nightmare I'd had about him. He and Alice joined us, and I smiled timidly at both of them. Alice's smile when she saw me was as big and bright as the sun. She bounced over to me and jumped over the back of the couch, landing on her knees on the cushions.

"It's so good to see you up! Do you like your shoes? I see that the clothes fit. Do you like them? How are you feeling?" She was bouncing on her knees in excitement. I laughed at her, as did everyone else. She was on fast-forward and it was impossible for a mere human to keep up with her at that speed.

"Yes, I love my shoes. The clothes are great. I like them, but I'm not sure that I'll need a ball gown anytime soon. And I feel like crap." I smiled an equally bright smile to hers when I said it. I reached out to her, and she pulled me into a tight hug. She felt like home, and I used extreme effort to hold back the tears that threatened to fall.

Damn, I was so sick of crying.

She pulled away slightly to look into my eyes. "You do look much better."

I nodded my head because I saw in the mirror before I came up that the bags under my eyes were not as dark as they were before. I looked up to see Jasper looking at me, and I felt a small sliver of fear tingle up my back. I nodded a slight greeting, not ready to make any steps toward him yet.

Emmett was ready to start the game, and when I looked up at the screen, he had made a ridiculous character for me. He called it a Mii, and she looked like a stereotypical fairy-tale vampire with pale, white skin, red eyes, and fangs even though real vampires don't have them. I wasn't sure whether to feel sad or to laugh. It was obvious he thought it was funny. I chose to roll my eyes at him, even though a pain shot through my heart, as he taught me the controls for bowling.

He put a strap from the remote around my wrist and tightened it. "We don't want you to lose control and break the TV if you get wild."

I blushed and laughed, because he obviously remembered my klutzy ways well.

Wii Bowling was so much fun and remarkably similar to real bowling. Emmett and Rosalie were ridiculous and so competitive. They each had a fancy way of "throwing" the ball, and when I tried to imitate their moves, I managed to hit the gutter every time. I decided to just stand up and use my remote like I was throwing a granny shot. Everybody laughed at me, but I got a strike. I jumped up and down whooping with joy.

Rosalie ended up winning the tournament. It seemed that she was, indeed, the bowling champion. I came in last place, but only by twenty points, and all agreed that it wasn't bad for an amateur. While we were playing, Esme and Carlisle joined us to watch, and when we were finished playing, we all decided to watch a movie.

While Emmett and Alice argued about what movie to watch, everyone else got comfortable, and Esme disappeared down the stairs. I kicked my awesome shoes off and folded up in the chair to get comfortable. When Esme came back up, she handed me a beautiful sandwich, with ham and turkey. It was at least 3 inches thick, piled high with the meat, cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, and mayo. On the plate was a small bunch of grapes and my favorite snack, Cheez-Its. She also brought me another glass of lemonade. It was so good, and I managed to eat the entire meal.

Once I had a full stomach, I started to get sleepy. Someone threw a blanket over me, and I nestled down into its warmth and fell asleep with the movie in the background and my family surrounding me.

Alice woke me up when the movie was over. She touched me gently, but I was still startled awake. I let out a squeak and scared myself. I said goodnight to everyone and went back down to my room. I got comfy in the softest pajamas that I could find. I took the pill Carlisle gave me as he said goodnight, turned off the light, and fell asleep quickly, hoping to avoid any strange hallucinations.

The day would have been perfect if I hadn't had to spend the night with the demons of my nightmares in the bed next to me.

XOXOXO,

Thanks again to Jessypt and Thanks to all of you for reading and reviewing!

Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight! I own this story and my husband's ass in Mario Kart.

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Ok For reals this time- See you Tuesday!