I want to thank at the top of this chapter my sisters-in-law Kapher and Alli. Kapher for the song. I swear to God my neighbors must think I want to kill myself with how many times I've had this song blaring. And Alli for reading my chapter and telling me she approves. Happy Birthday Alli!

I hope you like this chapter!

Chapter 13- Untitled

Everybody's screaming

I try to make a sound but no one hears me

I'm slipping off the edge

I'm hanging by a thread

I wanna start this over again.

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered

And I can't explain what happened

And I can't erase the things that I've done

No I can't

-Simple Plan

Edward POV

I vaulted over the deck railing and just ran. I could only think one thing—no.

No No No No No!

Anything in my path was obliterated when I used my fist, trying to release some of the overwhelming anger that choked me. I couldn't focus on where I was going. Everything was a blur. I must have run fifty miles before I came to a sudden stop. I had no clue where I had run.

I could only see her face.

The face I had wanted to see for four years. I couldn't process a thing. My brain was messed up. I couldn't put two thoughts together. I looked up at the sky, digging my fingers into the sides of my face, hoping for some clarity, but all I could see was her face.

I didn't hear or even sense that I'd been followed. I was lost in the vacuum of pain, and when I felt a hand on my shoulder, I crumbled. I fell to my knees in the damp grass and grabbed my hair. Esme wrapped her arms around me as I rocked back in forth. I took deep breaths and tried to get myself under control. I looked up at my family surrounding me. God, I had missed them so much. I should have felt joy, but I couldn't. I was beyond bewildered.

"Why?" I begged quietly speaking to myself.

They knew my wishes. They had promised me they would never interfere in Bella's life. I felt betrayed. I had suffered her absence to keep her safe, and it was all for nothing. I heard Alice approaching. I pulled out of Esme's embrace and stood to face her. My mind had been too loud in its own voice to hear the thoughts around me, but Alice's thoughts came through.

Hers were so loud they blocked mine out. The glare in her eyes was filled with pure hatred. Her shoulders were stiff, her fists held tightly at her sides. When she finally spoke she did so through clenched teeth.

"How could you be so stupid?"

I narrowed my eyes and came to my full height, leaning toward her.

"What do you mean? How could you betray me this way? I asked you to leave her alone."

Alice continued to stare at me, and then I saw it. I saw it all replayed in her thoughts. A wave of pain hit me dead center in the chest when I saw Bella convulsing on the floor and Bella's devastation. Everyone showed me different scenes.

I saw the bruises. I saw the needles. I saw her tears.

Her beautiful face and soft body nothing but skin and bones.

Her agreeing to give her body for drugs.

Her begging Carlisle on her knees for drugs, desperate for something to numb her pain.

Screaming my name as she fought against Emmett's hold, yelling I hate you over and over again.

Her rocking back and forth in a corner, crying and begging me to come back.

Her hopelessly begging them to let her die.

The devastating vision of her in the grips of withdrawal.

On and on and on.

I must have staggered, but Emmett was there to support me. I heard someone gasping for air and realized it was me. I closed my eyes and tried to catch my breath, but Alice was relentless. I held my hand out to her.

"Stop- please stop," I pleaded as I looked in her eyes. She wasn't angry anymore; she was desperate for me to understand.

"She would have died, Edward. She did die. She died right there in that crappy house surrounded by trash with a needle in her arm, abandoned by the scum that helped her along. I will never apologize for betraying you. You're not the wronged party here. That girl is." She pointed toward the house.

I couldn't believe what I saw in her thoughts. How could this have happened? I looked around and found Carlisle standing tensely off to the side.

"Is it true?" I begged in my mind for him to say no.

"Yes, son, it is. Bella has been very sick."

I closed my eyes and was engulfed by the most agonizing regret I had ever felt in my life. I listened to my whole family. Their thoughts were only of her—a girl I didn't even recognize. I tried to follow their thoughts, but I was shattered. I collapsed on the ground and cried great sobs that threatened to engulf me. I wished I could release my pain in actual tears, but it was impossible.

Esme knelt down next to me and put her arm around my shoulder pulling me close,; her hand running across my back, trying to comfort me, until I was able to breathe again.

"It's not your fault, Edward. You couldn't have known she would end up like this."

Carlisle sat on the grass, as well.

"She's better now. She's stronger, but Alice is right. We had to save her. I couldn't have lived with the thought of her dead."

I nodded and pulled myself up. They were right. I wasn't responsible for the drugs, but I was responsible for the pain. I told her I didn't want her. I stood up, my knees weak, and looked around at each of my siblings. Their faces all reflected their thoughts.

Emmett was mad at me. He kept thinking of how stupid I was.

Rosalie was also mad. She looked at me and thought—Stop being such a little emo bitch and go to her.

I was an emo bitch. All I thought about when I ran out of the house was myself. I caught Jasper's eye and whispered, "I'm sorry."

His mind carried such a weight of guilt. None of this was his fault either. I made the decisions four years ago. It was entirely mine.

I saw Alice and realized that everyone was out here with me, and Bella had been left alone. Then I realized what I said when I saw her face. I bent down, my hands on my knees. I told her I didn't want her. All I wanted to do was gather her in my arms and hold her, love her. But no, I had to be stupid. It all came out wrong. I wanted her! I wanted her more than I had ever wanted anything in my life.

Alice was right. How could I have been so stupid? I pulled myself upright, my hand on my stomach. I felt sick. I turned to go back to the house when I heard Alice scream and take off running. I followed instantly with no thought and saw why she screamed.

Tears Water Blood Death

I overtook Alice and flew through the hole in the side of the house that used to be a door. The smell of blood hit me as soon as I was close, and venom filled my mouth to choking. Her scent was so strong. I took a deep breath, savoring the scent for a fraction of a second.

I opened the door to her room, and when I stepped in my feet made a sucking noise on the wet carpet. I glanced down, and the carpet was soaked with red tinged water. The door to the bathroom was locked. I pushed the door open, and there was a sight that will forever be burned into my eyes.

The ghostly pale face of my only love, my only reason for existing, floating in a bathtub filled with blood.

I pulled her out of the crimson water and laid her on the wet floor. She was covered in blood. She was unconscious.

"No. Bella," I whispered in shock. Why would she do this?

Her hair was tangled around her upper body. I brushed the wet ends away and saw the gash on her arm. I put my hand around it to stop the flow. Carlisle moved to the other side of her, slipping on the wet floor and catching himself on the wall.

Carlisle spoke to me, but I didn't hear him. Bella's eyes fluttered open. She saw my face and looked away, losing consciousness again.

"Edward, let me see her."

I let go of her arm to turn her face back toward me. I had gone too long without seeing her face.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it." I hoped she could hear me.

I heard the gasp from somewhere behind me—Alice. Dark, red blood was flowing out of her arm with every heartbeat. The gash was deep and open.

Carlisle swiped away the blood on her leg with his hand and asked for some towels. The cut there was deep as well; the blood flow only a trickle.

"She severed the arteries." His voice was filled with horror. "I need some towels. Esme, please get my bag from downstairs."

I could sense my family around me, but I didn't look at them. Alice was kneeling at Bella's feet. Esme left the room and came back with towels and Carlisle's bag.

Bella's face was marred by blood coating her lips. I gently wiped the blood away and saw how colorless they were except for the ring of blue around the edges. Already her body was suffering from a loss of oxygen. We were too late. I could hear her heart beating, but it was fast and erratic. Carlisle was working around me, but I couldn't pay attention. I just kept staring at her pale face.

I heard Rosalie behind me.

"I can't stay."

She and Emmett left the room. I understood. The scent of blood was overwhelming. Jasper followed after them. I realized I was in shock.

"Edward, we need to decide what to do. She's lost a lot of blood."

There was no doubt in my mind what we needed to do.

"Save her. We have to save her." I couldn't look away from her.

"You could change her."

I heard Alice say that, and I lashed out at her, pushing her away from Bella.

"No! She is not going to become one of us. I forbid it."

I looked over at Carlisle, firm in my belief we could save her. "Let's do this."

I'd never seen Carlisle look so serious.

"She's in hypovolemic shock, Edward. She's lost too much blood. I don't think we can save her. I don't even think we can get her to a hospital in time."

"We have to try!" I yelled at him. The thought that we couldn't was unacceptable.

Carlisle took a deep breath. His mind focused on what we would need to do to save her.

"Okay, we need to move her downstairs. I have some blood in my lab, but it may not be enough. I was prepared for any eventuality when I first brought Bella here. Hopefully the supplies I gathered are enough."

I scooped Bella up and ran to the basement. Carlisle had a lab down there where he did his research. I'd never been in there, but if it was as well equipped as the one in Forks, we would be ok. We could do it.

Carlisle turned the lights on, and in the brightness of the room Bella looked even paler than she did upstairs. Carlisle swiped the stuff that he had on the center countertop off onto the floor, and I laid Bella on the table. The coldness of the surface must have startled Bella because she cried out.

"Shh. It's ok." I comforted her while I put an oxygen mask on her face.

"Edward, can you put this line in while I start stitching these wounds. We need to get fluid in her right now. Use the Lactated Ringer I have in the cabinet over there."

He pointed to the cabinet above the sink. I moved quickly, and even though it had been years since I'd been in medical school, I inserted the line in her other arm as quickly as a seasoned doctor and started transfusing the blood and fluid.

Carlisle cleaned the blood from around the horrible cut and injected her with a local anesthetic. He started repairing the damaged artery in her leg. His speed was astonishing, and I wondered how he kept his pace normal in the hospital. He moved on to her arm, but had more trouble. The smaller artery made for a more delicate repair. He was almost finished when Bella's heartbeat slowed.

Alice was panicked, her voice rising. "Change her. It's the only hope." I quickly glanced at her, afraid to take my eyes off Bella for one second. She was in a ball against the wall holding her head. "I can't see her, Edward!" I shook my head at her.

Carlisle stopped his surgery and opened a cabinet pulling out a vial of medicine and a syringe. He injected Bella.

"Dopamine." He answered my questioning glance.

Her heart started beating faster. I squeezed the fourth, and last, bag of blood through the IV, hoping it would be enough.

"Carlisle, what else can I do?"

He finished sewing the arteries and bandaged her up. He put a blanket over her and checked her vitals. He shook his head at me.

"Her blood pressure's too low. Edward, I don't have enough blood, and I don't have the capability to do any more here. Even if I could, she's faced with organ failure, heart attack, and brain damage."

He looked hopeless. He brushed Bella's hair out of her eyes. "I'm sorry—to both of you. I could have prevented this."

I heard her heart slowing. For a fraction of a second I waited, unable to believe he couldn't save her."

"No, I can't give up." I said this to Carlisle.

I leaned down to Bella, my hand pressed against her neck feeling her pulse, the only proof she was still here.

"Please, baby. Come back to me. I love you so much. Please, Bella!" I pleaded with her while she slipped away. "I didn't mean what I said. I do want you. I need you. You have to fight."

I could feel the weakening of her pulse. It was a matter of minutes before she would be gone. I looked up at Carlisle. I knew what he had to do.

"Change her."

He shook his head. "Edward, she wouldn't want that. It kills me to say this, but you have to let her go."

I yelled at him. "I said change her!"

I looked at her face and couldn't stand the thought of living without her again. She was everything to me.

"It's my choice! Change her!" I was getting frantic. Her heart was getting weaker and weaker. I squeezed the bag of fluid praying it would make a difference even though I know it wouldn't.

"Bella isn't the same person you knew. She's depressed and angry—damaged, and she doesn't want to live. She could be a great danger to us and to others."

I didn't believe him. Bella had only good in her. I refused to believe she could be dangerous as a vampire. I leaned over her and kissed her lips. Carlisle put his hand on my chest to stop me, but I shook it off.

I stood up and ran my hands through my hair. I knew what I wanted. I braced myself and looked at Alice.

"Help me stop if I can't."

She was terrified but nodded.

In a move that was as gentle as a kiss, I bit Bella's neck; the taste of her blood was heaven. Carlisle put his hand on my shoulder, but I didn't hesitate. I bit her on each of her pulse points; her arms, her legs. I started pumping her heart trying to move the venom through her body. I lost track of time as I prayed and begged God to let me keep her. I was so set on making sure her heart kept beating I didn't hear the change. Carlisle put his hands on top of mine.

"Listen, Edward."

I felt so much relief I almost fell to my knees.

I heard her heart.

A strong heart.

A changing heart.

xoxoxo

Thanks Jessypt for making this pretty! Thanks to all who read and put the story or me on alert! Many thanks to those who review! Your feedback helps me so much! A special shout out to Bamagal110 for calling Edward an Emo Bitch. I stole that from you! Thanks, it fit perfectly!

Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer- no copyright infringement intended.

In physiology and medicine, hypovolemia is a state of decreased blood volume; more specifically, decrease in volume of blood plasma. The condition I stated above is considered Stage 4 hypovolemic shock. I am not a doctor. I used research, as accurately as possible, to describe how Carlisle and Edward tried to save Bella. In the situation above it is quite unlikely, even if they had gotten her to a hospital, that Bella would have survived.

Now if I accidentally fall and nick an artery the police will read my internet history, ask my neighbors about my song choices, and declare my accidental death a suicide. Ugh!