A/N: I don't know why this chapter is so sad, its maybe because I'm not feeling well or maybe because I'm sad about the news samcedes might not be together any longer… nevertheless this chapter is full of angst and for that I'm sorry… maybe it will get better. Some context before reading: a person asked a good question… why the hell isn't Sam using his dreams to his advantage? I guess it's because he doesn't really know how to comprehend them. He doesn't even know if they are just dreams or futuristic memories even though we all do… (dramatic irony) since he's not listening to what the dreams are telling him everything is going in the direction the dreams are… where they are divorced and Mercy is pregnant. But he has a chance to change them he just doesn't know how… maybe he will smarten up and use them to his advantage soon.

Also the dream portion of this is located at the bottom if you didn't know that already and yes it is another outer body dream.

Anyway on to chapter 15…

Sam woke up the next day feeling incredibly numb. His conversation with Mercedes about her not so secret boyfriend had him so pissed that he barely got any sleep. He just stayed up thinking about her and he hated it. He hated that he still loved her even though she lied to him, and now has a new boyfriend. He stayed up thinking about her smile, her laugh, and their times together... Everything. Before he knew it, he finally closed his eyes at 6 am, only to be awakened by his mother. She shook him awake, told him he slept most of the day away. It was 7pm and Sam didn't even realize it. Sam thanked his mom and then crept into the shower, put on some body glitter and then made it to work with 20 minutes to spare. There were hardly any women there yet, except for a few stragglers. Sam went into the back, changed his clothes to his stripping gear and then was greeted by a smiling Carla.

"Hello white chocolate." Carla greeted him by his stripper name like she does all of the dancers.

"Hey Carla, umm... Where do you want me?" usually Sam was up for a nice banter with Carla about how their days went, but today he wasn't feeling it. Actually, he wasn't feeling much of anything. He supposed that was a good thing. If he didn't feel anything then he could stop thinking about her. Maybe the pain will go away if he pretended it didn't exist?

"Hey... Are you ok?" Carla asked. Sam was avoiding her gaze and had the hardest, coldest face on. He looked like he was on the verge of punching walls and bursting out in tears at the same time.

"I'm fine... So, where do you want me?" Sam asked again, this time with a forced smile so Carla wouldn't think anything was wrong with him.

Carla looked at his forced smile that didn't meet his eyes and knew that there was something brewing under Sam skin... But he looked like he wasn't ready to talk about it just yet, so Carla left it alone for now.

"Well, there is a woman in the private rooms, she specifically asked for you…. then I expect you to be back to the stage in about an hour, that's when the ladies will start filling the club up, today's Friday so you know those women are anxious to see their white chocolate."

"Right. Ok so... I'll see you in an hour." Sam walked away without a second thought. He made his way to the back of the club where the private rooms were and opened each one until he found someone waiting in room number 3. He opened the stall and saw a girl sitting there. She couldn't of been older than 24, her features were fair, she looked like she could be a teen, but all women get carded before they could enter the club.
She was fiddling with her fingers and her eyes were drinking in Sam's flat abs through his vest. She bit her lip and Sam closed the curtain so that they were alone.

"Hi... I'm-" Sam started.

"No names. Just strip." the woman said. Sam did as she asked and removed his vest slowly as music entered the room. Then he popped his suspenders, and did a couple of body rolls to the beat. He moved towards her and put her hands on his body, and that's when she started crying. Sam turned off the music and sat next to her. She started to cry in his shoulder and Sam held onto her.

"Hey... Uhh is everything ok? Did you not like the dance?" Sam asked her.

She wiped her tears and looked into his eyes. "No! It was fine... You were fine. It's just..." she started to cry even louder now.

"You can tell me anything... I promise I'm here for you." Sam said trying to comfort the distraught woman.

"It's just... My fiancée... I caught him cheating on me... With my sister. They said they're in love, and they want to get married..." she sobbed.

"Oh holy hell " Sam thought.

"My friends brought me here to cheer me up. They told me about you... How sweet you are, and how beautiful your body is. Oh god I sound pathetic! No wonder why my boyfriend fucked my sister!" another bout of cries came out of her and Sam didn't know what to do or say. He picked up her crying face with his hands so that she was looking him in the eye.

"Hey! Don't beat yourself up! You are not pathetic! He is." Sam said.

"Please! You're just saying that. Look at me! I'm ugly." her makeup smeared down her rosy red cheeks as the tears flowed. Sam swished her auburn bangs out of her face and smiled at her.

"Have you looked in the mirror lately? Because I'm sure if you did you wouldn't see an ugly person. You'd see what I see, a beautiful, young woman. Who deserves more than being cheated on and lied to by the person you loved."

She smiled in his face and Sam was glad that he calmed her down. Without warning she gently reached forward and pecked his lips. Sam was taken aback but he didn't have time to think because her lips were on his again... And then her arms were around his neck. Sam quickly pushed her away and she immediately apologized.

"I'm so sorry! I'm so… so sorry!" she said repeatedly.

"It's ok... Don't worry about it."

"No! It really isn't... It's just, you were so nice and... I just didn't want to feel anything right now. You know how that is right? When you feel numb... And all you want is to do something reckless throw caution to the fucking wind, just so that you don't have to feel anything. Even if the moment is brief, at least the pain would go away... Temporarily."

Sam nodded. He knew exactly how that felt. The numbness he was feeling currently overwhelmed him to the point that he almost slept an entire day away. Even now, talking to this woman, who was nameless and crying on him about her emotional woes, all he could think about was Mercedes. Mercedes, his anger and his sadness. That was it. And no matter how he tried to fight it or not think about it, BAM! There she was. Maybe the crying girl was right. Maybe being reckless would help the pain... Maybe being reckless would make the thoughts go away?

"So what do you say...? Do you want to get reckless with me?" she asked him with a kiss. Sam didn't answer. He just pulled her thin lips to his and pressed their bodies together, hoping to god that being reckless would help him relieve the numbness... If only for a while.

Mercedes was cutting off the head of a teddy bear Sam brought her at the fair when Shane called. She'd been ignoring him for two days, because she was pissed about the whole Facebook blast he did last week. He was the reason her and Sam weren't speaking. He was the reason that Sam wanted nothing to do with her. She was so pissed that she 'killed' three teddy bears that Sam won her at the carnival. Even though she was pissed at Shane she was even more pissed at Sam. Actually pissed wasn't the right word, she was angry- no, vehement. How fucking dare he say that he wanted nothing to do with her? How fucking dare he? Mercedes decided if he didn't want anything to do with her then she sure as hell didn't want anything to do with him!

Mercedes ignored Shane's calls and his subsequent text messages. She got up threw the dismembered teddy bears in her trash can and then went on her computer. She opened her and Sam's photo album and hit "Delete" on the pictures. Of course the stupid computer said " Are you sure you want to delete the S&M photo album?" Mercedes sat there with her hand on the mouse; she couldn't believe she was contemplating the decision. She had her mind made up that she was going to destroy any evidence of the so called relationship. So why couldn't she press yes?

"Just delete it Mercedes! Sam and you are done he made that very clear! He wants nothing more to do with you so forget him! He probably never cared anyway... It wasn't anything more than a summer fling... But what if it wasn't? What if it was real love and he is just hurt right now? NO! Stop trying to convince yourself that is was more than it was... Delete it!"Mercedes quieted down her thoughts and decided to delete it when Shane texted her again. She considered that a sign from Jesus and decided to leave the photo album for now. She went to her bed and saw that Shane texted a picture of himself with a sad face that said please forgive me. She really wanted to stay mad at him, but honestly she couldn't. He was so sweet and he probably didn't mean it. So she decided to text him back.

Mercy:it's ok Shane... I'm not mad anymore. I forgive you.

Shane::D! Really? Thank you so much baby... Does that mean I get to see my girl tomorrow?

Mercy:yes, Lima bean 3pm? :)

Shane:it's a date. Goodnight baby.

Mercy:goodnight. Xoxoxo

everything was going to be okay. Mercedes thought. Sam didn't want to be in her life so she can just get over it. And him. Well, she could and would try.

Sam knelt down on his bed... Right after his prayer he busted out into tears. How could he do that to Mercedes? Shane or no Shane he loved her. If she knew he had sex with a girl he barely knew in a strip club no less she would never speak to him again. He thought by doing it, it would help him get over her. Instead he felt so dirty that he stayed in the shower for an hour and his dad had to help him out. He was freezing cold and it took four blankets and a crying Stacy for him to pretend that he was okay again. In reality he was still numb... Numb-err than ever if that were possible. Nothing helped; she was still on his mind. His mom and dad tried talking to him but Sam gave them a half truth about him just being weary. They left him alone and his mind wandered back to Mercedes again and now in the worst way. He had to tell her. She needed to know. He picked up his phone and called her but it went straight to voicemail.

"Hey! This is Mercedes! I'm not here at the moment; please leave a message at the tone! Bye"

"Hey, Umm it's Sam. I know you might not want to talk to me right now, but... I umm I really need to get something off my chest... It's important. Please mercy... Call me back? Ok... Bye."

Sam laid down on his bed and closed his eyes. He hoped that she called him back. He hoped that she would be able to forgive him after he told her. Cause right now. He couldn't forgive himself.

She was sleeping. In his bed, with his shirt on. And a pair of boy shorts that were rising up into her butt. Her pregnant belly showing through his shirt as short breaths hallowed through her. She was so beautiful, Sam thought as he watched her sleep. Mercedes agreed to sleep over some nights whenever she was feeling hormonal or lonely. Of course she took over their old bed, making him sleep in the guest room, but that didn't stop Sam from coming into the room and watching her sleep. It's something he did while they were still together. He'd watch her sleep, and then wake her up with a kiss. She'd smile with her eyes still closed and then they would have incredible morning sex that would sometimes make them late for things. But those days are over. She was five months pregnant and she didn't want anything to do with him that wasn't related to the baby. Yes he loved her and wanted to be with her but she didn't feel the same so he had to let it go. No matter how badly he wanted to put a ring on her finger and call her Mrs. Evans again. Sam got sidetracked watching her, he was usually out of the room before she woke up but now she was staring him in the face with a confused expression.

"Sam... What the hell are you doing in here, and why are you staring at me?"

Sam thought quickly on his feet and said, "I just came to see how the baby was doing. The little guy started kicking as soon as I entered the room."

He put his hand on her belly and like clockwork the baby started kicking. Mercedes smiled as Sam added his other hand and the baby kicked harder.

"Ok... I'll forgive you for being creepy this time. But you need to stop calling our baby a he! You have no idea what the gender is yet."

Mercedes got up and looked at the clock she gasped and turned to Sam with her angry face on. "Sam! It's 12 in the afternoon! How dare you let me sleep so long? I have a lot to do today."

Sam got up off the bed and then picked her up. She squealed and protested. He carried her all the way to the bathroom where a bath was waiting for her. He put her down and she looked around amazed.

"Sam? What is all this?

"Well it was supposed to be a surprise... I called Tina and told her to cancel everything for the next two days. You need to relax mercy... You've been working hard, and I figured you could use a de-stresser. So today I'm taking care of you, and tomorrow I have a day planned for you and me."

Mercedes cocked her head to the side and asked suspiciously, "Hmm... What kind of day?"

"That is also surprise. Now... Off you go. Breakfast is waiting for you downstairs when you get done." before she could protest he closed the door made his way downstairs and left her to wash. Today he was going to take care of her. Whether she liked it or not.

Turns out she liked it. Sam didn't ask her to move once. He cooked breakfast, lunch and dinner for them, he cleaned up the mess, and whatever she needed he was right there. Mercedes always knew he was a good man, that's why she married him in the first place, but everything he did today took the cake. She was starting to wonder if he had a secret motive.

But her worried thoughts quickly faded as she lounged on the couch with him and watched bad romantic comedies.

"Oh my lord this movie is so bad!" Mercedes laughed.

"Yeah I second that, But you're the one who said let's watch it! I was perfectly fine watching those teenage girls getting killed by Jason." Sam added.

Mercedes scoffed, "Ugh! You and your horror movies... That's one thing I don't miss about being your wife."

Sam couldn't help but smile, she may not have liked it when he roped her into watching horror movies with him but she put up a good front because she loved him. It made him want her even more if that was possible. But he scolded himself mentally letting his mind know that they could never be that again.

"Hey! You used to love horror movie Monday's" Sam teased.

"Yeah... Right." Mercedes said sarcastically. Sam laughed and then she said,

"Can you please, just flip the channels and see what else is on?"

Sam did as she asked he flipped through their channels and absolutely nothing good was on. By accident Sam turned to playboy TV (which he added to his subscription once Mercedes and his divorce was finalized) and they both laid eyes on a woman getting pounded into by a guy with a very huge-

"Oh my god!" Mercedes and Sam screamed at the same time.

"His penis it's... It is so huge!" Mercedes yelled.

Sam quickly turned off the TV after he felt himself getting hot and Mercedes started eyeing him. She noticed how he reached for the pillow that was under her feet and she pulled it away from him.

"Sam! Oh my god are you turned on right now?" she laughed.

"What no!" Sam lied.

"Liar! You think after all these years I don't know your I'm turned on face?" she laughed at him again.

"Ok! Ok! So maybe I'm turned on. It's... Been a long time, sue me." Sam put his head down.

"How long?" Mercedes asked not believing him.

"Long... I don't know awhile."

She sat back against the arm rest of the couch and admitted, "Me too."

Sam just nodded, not really knowing where the conversation was heading. His dick was still semi hard and he really wanted to go upstairs and take care of it, but he promised Mercedes he would take care of her all day and according to the clock he still had two hours of pampering Mercedes to go.

"If you want to go upstairs and... Fix yourself you can Sam. I'll be fine." Mercedes said graciously.

"No. I made a promise and I intend to keep it."

"So you're just gonna sit there with a semi erect dick... Completely ignoring your needs for mine?" Mercedes smiled at him when he nodded.

"I told you I'm gonna take care of you and I meant it." Sam says.

Mercedes got up, moved down the couch and kissed his cheek. "Thank you." she rubbed his face and began to get up off the couch. Sam gently tugged her arms, pulling her back down. Before she could ask what he was doing he kissed her softly. It reminded her if their very first kiss, the way he stole her lips in the parking of his cheap motel he shared with his parents. She let the kiss happen, letting Sam take her mouth like he owned her lips, when he tried to add tongue that's when Mercedes pulled away.

"What was that?" she asked angrily.

"It was just a kiss mercy..." Sam said trying to calm things down.

"Don't do that again. Don't kiss me, don't touch me and DON'T watch me sleep. I meant what I said Sam I don't want you anymore. That hasn't changed."

"Are you sure? Because your words say no... But your body's says yes." he moved towards her trying it. Fuck it, he loved this woman and she was gonna be his whether she liked it or not.

She put her hand up to halt him and said, "I don't care what you think my body says. I don't have any desire to be with you. You cheated on me, I will never love you the same way again."

Sam had enough of her throwing that in his face so he yelled, "For two years I've been trying to tell you the full story about Emma and me... You don't want to hear it! You don't even know what happened!"

Now Mercedes was screaming, "Nor do I care! I don't want to her your excuse for cheating on me. You said you loved me you bastard! You broke our vows! So fuck you and your 'full story!' "She poked his chest as emphasis and then she pushed him away.

"I'm so sick of this mercy! I'm so sick of you and your deflecting. I'm just so fucking sick. It's been two years!" Sam screamed at him.

"Sam just stay the fuck away-"

Mercedes didn't get to finish her sentence as she collapsed to the floor in clutching her stomach in pain.

A/N: I wanna ask you guys… should I go canon here and keep shanecedes together for the first half of the school year or have Sammy come back alittle earlier? Let me know… the angst is killing me!