A/N: When I reached 200 reviews I cried harder than Rachel whenever she sings a song. Thank you guys for reviewing whether it be good or bad I read every single one. I love you guys like a fat kid loves cake. (Very bad joke I know) anyway some context before reading:
Sadness ahead, I know I'm evil for this, but it's not over just yet... and there's some puckcedes friendship in this and like I said the dream is at the beginning of the chapter.
Now, on to the freak show…
That night, after another session of therapy, Sam drove Mercedes home. They were making wonderful strides in therapy, after their confessions of love and the pros and cons lists, Mercedes seemed more open to hearing about his affair. She actually sat and listened this time without a scowl or a groan. She found out that Emma was going to ruin his career by saying he raped her if he didn't sleep with her. He honestly told her that he would feel guilty every time he did it. She found out that he stopped sleeping with her because of the guilt he felt about Emma. He conveyed to her that he never once told Emma he loved her because he didn't, nor did he ever tell her that he was going to leave Mercedes for her.
Mercedes seemed to understand more and more of why he did it. But she also told him that she would never forget the pain he caused, or the hurt she felt finding out. Their healing was becoming- but it was slow and not rushed at all. Each session they learned more and more about each other in new ways. It was like they were getting to know each other from the beginning.
Sam opened the door for his pregnant ex-wife and helped her to her room. Mercedes was having a hard time getting places because the pregnancy had her feet swollen to the size of melons... And her having huge feet called for a very hysterical Mercedes... And when she was sad, Sam got no peace. She called him no matter what hour of the night asking him for everything. From imported ice cream to him coming over at 3am. It was cute, but it also left Sam incredibly weary.
"Ok so... I got you up here, now... I'm going home." Sam tried to make a quick exit but Mercedes- like clockwork started crying.
"You're leaving because of me right?" she asked with a distressed sob.
Sam turned around, and sighed. He was in for another bout of hysterics. He could feel it. "Cedes' what are you talking about?"
"You... You're leaving because you don't want to deal with Mercedes the emotional mess... I get it Sam, just go." Mercedes managed to get into the bed and she rolled on her side turning away from him. Sam couldn't help but find her incredibly adorable. He took his shoes off and climbed in next her and wrapped his arms around her belly.
Gently he rubbed it, and he whispered in her ear, "If you wanted me to stay... All you have to do is say so, cedes you know I'll do anything for you."
"I don't want you to think I'm this emotional mess, I'm more grounded then that Sam. I don't know what's happening to me." Mercedes said whimpering softly.
"Hey, you're pregnant. It comes with the territory. Your emotions are all over the place right now, it's your hormones. I don't think you're an emotional mess, I think you're incredibly cute."
Mercedes turned around at that, Sam could see it in her eyes that he pissed her off. The question was: how did he do it this time?
"Cute?" Mercedes scoffed in his face. "You think I'm cute!"
"Incredibly cute?" Sam says again with a smile.
"So that's how you see me now? Just some 'cute' pregnant woman?" she scoffed again this time louder.
"Cedes' you gotta tell me what you're getting at because I can't read minds."
"I don't want to argue Sam... Just forget it." She turned her back towards him again.
"Mercedes Evans can you please explain to me why you are mad all of a sudden?!" Sam asked to her back. Mercedes kept quiet, the only thing Sam heard was a huff from her, and so Sam decided to change the game. He got up and began to put his shoes on.
When Mercedes didn't feel him behind her anymore she turned around and saw Sam getting dressed. She didn't want him to go- he was not leaving.
"Where are you going?" Mercedes asked sitting upright.
"I'm leaving. Dr. Ian said we had to be open and honest with each other, so unless you want to tell me why you're upset, I'm gonna go home, and lay in my big bed, drama free."
Mercedes said nothing in return, she was being stubborn. Plus she didn't think he was really gonna go, but when Sam made his way toward the door, she had to stop him.
"Okay! Don't go... I'll tell you." Mercedes caved.
Smiling Sam sat back down on the bed and said, "So what's wrong?"
"Nothing..." She bit her lip. "It's just... I went from being sexy, and hot and fine in your eyes to just... being... Cute. It's just a change in things I guess. I know I'm not attractive anymore now that I'm pregnant... "
"Mercedes..." Sam laughed cutting her off. "We had sex a month ago- you were pregnant then... What's different now?"
"I dunno... My feet are the size of watermelons..."
"But you're still beautiful..." Sam says moving closer to her.
"My face has swelled dramatically."
"You're still beautiful..." Sam says again wrapping his arms around her waist.
"My breasts ache, I look like a walrus, I'm hungry all the time-"
Sam shut her up with a hungry kiss to her lips. She wrapped her arms around his neck and brought him closer. They kissed frantically, passionately. Sam pulled away suddenly and said,
"Mercedes, you are the sexiest, hottest woman in the world to me. Pregnant, not pregnant you still get me hard. You still turn me on, and I know we promised Dr. Ian we wouldn't have sex again until we got through all of our issues but I want you to know I will always want you. All of you, seven months pregnant and all."
Mercedes kissed him again and smiled. She needed that; Sam always knew how to make her feel better when she was down on herself. He was just that wonderful.
"Should I go now?" Sam asked looking into her deep brown eyes. He brushed her hair out of her face gently and his face rested on her jaw, stroking it softly.
"No." She said, looking into his emerald green eyes..."Not tonight."
Somewhere in a hospital bed, in a coma Sam was having one of his best dreams yet.
"This is ALL your fault!" Mary Evans yelled to Carol and Burt Hummel. Once they heard about what happened to Sam, Mary and Sam's father Mark came rushing from Kentucky, with Stacy and Stevie in tow. Everyone was at the hospital. The Hudmel's, Finn and Kurt, Sam's parents, Mercedes parents, Mr. Shue, ALL of the new directions and Mercedes. Who hadn't said a word or moved since Mike called her telling her about it. All she did was stare at Sam through the glass window of the ICU while the Hudmel's and Evan's argued.
"We didn't know! Ok! We're sorry!" Carol Hudson said to Sam's mother.
"I don't want to hear it! As soon as our baby gets out of intensive care we are taking him home! We knew we shouldn't have trusted him with you!" Mark screams at them.
"Hey buddy don't you speak to my wife that way! If anyone's to blame here it's you!" Burt defended.
"Don't you put any blame on us! We were all the way in Kentucky! YOU were supposed to be watching him!" The Evan's screamed back.
"It's my fault." Mercedes said lowly.
"We were watching HIM! How dare you imply that we are irresponsible!"
"It's MY fault." They all stopped arguing when they heard her say it again louder.
"Mercedes dear, how is any of this your fault?" Carol asked.
"Shane... The guy the arrested for this did this because he was stalking me- he was obsessed with me and he couldn't accept that I love Sam. He hurt Sam because of me!" Mercedes sobbed.
"Oh dear, we don't blame you- so don't blame yourself- This Shane guy, did it because he was nuts. Not because of you." Mary Evans tried to convince her.
"NO!" Mercedes screamed. "It's all my fault... And if Sam dies, I'll never forgive myself. You- you don't understand... No one understands." She took off down the hallway in tears; she even passed the waiting room where everybody else was. Her parents, and Kurt saw her running down the halls crying and Kurt got up and ran after her. Surprising, Quinn was there too and she followed Kurt after Mercedes.
Mercedes was outside in the parking lot when Kurt and a still pink haired Quinn found her. She was crying heavily and kneeling down against a car. Quinn ran over to her and hugged her to herself, sitting down next to Mercedes.
"Cedes' it's ok calm down... Breathe." Quinn says to her friend.
"I-I can't Quinn! Sam's hurt because of me! If I had only taken Shane up on his offer, or- or if I had warned someone... This wouldn't of happened."
Kurt, now kneeling in front of the two girls decides to add his two cents, "Mercy you think that Shane still wouldn't of found a way to hurt Sam even if you told someone? He was adamant on getting him out of your life. The police found a shrine in his room, dedicated to you. He was crazy Mercedes... There was nothing anyone could've done."
"That's not true! I could've done something! I could've given Shane what he wanted... All he wanted was me. If I would've given him me... Sam wouldn't be in a coma." Mercedes sobbed into Quinn's shoulder.
"Mercedes, you can't say that... Shane was insane... If it was the other way around I have no doubt he would've done the same thing to you... Or worse, you could be dead right now cedes..." Quinn said.
Mercedes pushed away from Quinn and stood up. vehemently she screamed "Maybe I deserve it! Maybe I deserve to die! I wish it was me instead of Sam. I wish Shane would've hurt me!"
"Cedes what are you even saying?" Kurt huffed.
"Just... Leave me the hell alone... Okay? I want to be ALONE!" Mercedes then took off into the night leaving Quinn and Kurt there confused and worried about her.
Back in the hospital, everyone sat in the waiting room now, the Hudmel's and the Evan's got kicked out of Sam's room for arguing. Quinn and Kurt came back inside in a haste, desperately hoping Mercedes came back inside of the hospital.
"Anybody seen Mercy?" Kurt says to the crowd.
"No... We thought she was with you!" Her father says to Kurt and Quinn.
"Mr. Jones she was, and then she started screaming about how she wished it was her in the hospital bed instead of Sam. She basically said she would die for him." Quinn said with fear in her voice.
"Oh dear lord... That poor girl is blaming herself." Mary Evans said holding a hand to her heart.
"Look... Imma go and try and find my daughter, and bring her home... She's obviously too hysterical to be here while Sam is in this state... Come on Angela. We are going." The Joneses got up to go but surprisingly, Puck stopped them.
"With all due respect Mr. Jones I don't think taking Mercedes home is going to help the situation. Everyone here knows she loves him with all her heart... And she doesn't want to be away from him. She's just having a meltdown cause that asshole Shane got to her... She needs someone to talk to."
"We tried that-" Kurt said, but Puck cut him off.
"Look Kurt, I understand you consider yourself her best friend but not enough to know that she was hurting all summer over Sam. Hell, I figured it out way before all of you, but I kept my mouth shut. Cause that's what friends do. They are there for each other always. I don't mean to down your friendship with hot mama; I'm just saying you ignored her drama- for Rachel's. No offense Rachel- and maybe you aren't the best person to talk to right now... You either Quinn- sorry. You kinda got your own demons to work out."
"Wait! How dare you-" Kurt began to say but Puck was gone, off to find Mercedes.
In the waiting room they were all giving each other looks, when the doctor came in.
"Who are the parents?" The doctor said.
"That's us!" The Evans got up.
"Good. Come with me."
Puck found her near the clearing. It wasn't too far from the hospital, and somehow, he knew she was going to be there. Mercedes was looking out into the water with her face buried into her knees crying. Puck came over and sat down. She looked up and saw him but kept crying. Puck didn't say anything. He just scooted over, brought her closer to him and let her cry into his chest. She cried for a good five minutes on puck, before wiping her face on his shirt.
"Puck... I'm afraid." Mercedes said looking up at him.
"Me too." Puck admits. "And I'm not going to sit here and ask you to be strong because that's bullshit. And I'm not going to say everything is going to be ok because we don't know that for sure. But I will tell you that I'm here for you and I know how you feel. I love Sam like a brother. I watched him cry on me, just like you are doing now, saying that he loved you. And he knew that you loved him too. And I know Sam, he's a fighter. He's not just gonna give up. He has a family, he has friends... And now he has you again. Don't give up hope, we have to have faith he will be okay."
"Noah when did you become so insightful?" Mercedes asked feeling a tad better.
"I don't know... Really I'm just pulling this out of my ass to make you feel better."
Mercedes started to laugh a little and puck smiled. "You can feel how you want to feel Cedes, Trust me. I myself wanted to kill Shane once I found him. But mike stopped me and told me to let the police handle it. I was a basket case of emotions. Just like you are. But now that Shane is in custody, and Sam is here at the hospital, I think I'm gonna be ok. The pain and rage is still there, but I don't let it rule me. Just like you shouldn't let it rule you."
"But... What if I can't? What if I can't contain it? I'm so- so angry and I feel so guilty Noah... Like I'm the one who should be in the hospital bed... I love Sam so much, and I can't deal with this right now... I want to throw things! And hurt someone- I want to hurt Shane and scream at him. I don't know how to deal right now." Mercedes admits.
"I don't think hurting Shane will solve anything. It will just make you feel worse. Believe me, I know. You don't have to hurt others or yourself... You just have to believe in Sam. Believe that he wouldn't want you to blame yourself- believe that he loves you. Believe that he'll pull through. You're a Christian Mercedes... Believe."
Mercedes began to sob again and Puck held on- trying to show her that he was there for her while her faith was shaken, there for her while Sam's future was unknown. That he was there for her... Period.
"Will you pray with me Noah?" Mercedes asked Puck once again wiping her tears on his black shirt.
"I don't really pray... I mean I believe in god and all but... I don't think the G man likes me very much."
"God loves all people- including you. What did you just say to me? Believe?"
Puck nods agreeing with her.
"Then believe that he loves you, because he does- believe that he can hear us, believe that Sam with be okay with me... Pray with me Noah."
Puck nods again and then Mercedes gets on her knees and puck follows. She says a prayer for Sam and for god to give him strength through the storm, in the middle of it she breaks down into tears, pleading with god to bring Sam back to her. Puck grabs her hands tight and prays with her while she cries. In the midst of it, he gets caught up too, and he finally released his own tears he'd been holding in since he found Sam.
Together near the water Puck and Mercedes cried and prayed for their best friend... And her true love.
a/n: good or bad? do you think Sam's gonna make it? will Mercedes be okay? let me know what you think!
love, butterflies, and Darren Criss- Melle