The three of them spend the rest of their tour chatting quietly behind the other students. Well, Sebastian and his friend do most of the talking. Blaine tries his hand at escaping. His plans are foiled once Puck- owner of said Mohawk- finds out that Sebastian and Blaine are roommates.
"No way! Welcome to the brotherhood, man!"
All kinds of lewd comments spill out of that boy's mouth, and Blaine ducks his head with every accusation. These guys are definitely... out there, but they've kind of claimed Blaine as their own and he's not sure how to say no. Scratch that, he does know how, but his negatives haven't been perceived very well in the past… so he keeps quiet.
Puck keeps grabbing at his back, and each point of contact shoots millions of needles deep into Blaine's skin. The boy fails to notice how it's affecting Blaine, and before the smaller can shy away he feels a heavy arm wrap around his shoulders. Blaine looks to Sebastian for help, but it seems the embrace has swallowed him too.
Blaine tells himself he's fine about fifty times, but Puck's taken it too far and he absolutely needs an out. The last thing he wants to do is cry in front of his new friends, but how does he explain his need to be untouched?
His need to be like he was before…
Sebastian looks murderous, his body is rigid with tension, and thankfully Puck shuts up and lets both of them go. He anchors his lip into a pout, but Sebastian rolls his eyes along with his shoulders and diverts his attention to a glassy eyed Blaine.
And then Blaine's on fire.
He resists the urge to look away, opening his mouth to say something, anything, but all words are lost to the wind. He can't help it. He just feels so small under Sebastian's gaze. It's probably because he's been alone for so long. Blaine was afraid this was going to happen.
Sebastian studies him a bit longer, and goes back to Puck. He pauses there too it seems, deep in thought, and turns back to Blaine with determination on his face. "You should join the Warblers."
Blaine's eyes go wide at the invitation so he takes a moment to understand the invitation. Why are these guys being so nice to him? He takes a careful step back.
"Don't worry, if you suck I'm always available for private lessons."
Grateful for his offer, but completely missing the innuendo, Blaine gives a questionable nod. "…Sure." He's not positive what he's just agreed to, but he has avoided confrontation for the time being, so he holds back his opinions. It's not like they matter much anyway, and he wants to blend in so badly he's willing to give anything a shot. So, he keeps his mouth shut and tries to ignore how worn out he is.
Blaine is proud of himself for socializing. He hadn't seen himself agreeing to do anything with his classmates, yet here he is, day one and already sinking into routine. There's something there in Sebastian, though, a ghost image of 'okay' and maybe if Blaine sticks around long enough, he'll be lucky enough to find it.
Or… maybe he's horrible at reading people and everything about these guys is flashing red and shooing him away, but he's being naïve and- Blaine gets control of his thoughts. You're fine. He repeats. You're fine. You're fine. You're fine.
Sebastian doesn't say anything else; he just turns up his lips, and stares straight ahead. So Blaine does the same, and longs for his bed.
The three of them finish the tour, and eventually Puck sneaks away with an incoming freshman. Sebastian awkwardly explains how they had crashed orientation to meet fresh faces. He tells Sebastian that wanting to make new friends is always acceptable, and he shouldn't be embarrassed. Sebastian laughs.
Although Blaine and Sebastian are alone, the silence doesn't suffocate, and Blaine keeps himself busy by taking in his surroundings. Every now and then he'll look over and Sebastian will be flashing him green, and by the time they arrive at their dorm Blaine's ready to pass out.
He takes about ten seconds to survey Sebastian's side of the room, and even less time to look at his. He knows his side is void of any belongings, so there's not much to absorb. Sebastian's side, however, is littered with mismatched sheets, dirty clothes, and pictures of Paris.
Blaine wants to tell Sebastian il parle francais, but his bed is looking really comfortable and before Blaine can even think another word he's snatched his covers from the closet and coiled up carefully on top of his mattress.
He'd previously thought that being alone with someone would shatter his carefully constructed comfort zone, but part of him is grateful for the company right now. He hasn't been alone with anyone other than his parents since the attack, and it's strangely comforting to witness other people existing.
It gives him the courage to do it too.
Blaine fights against closing his eyes, because he's dreading what he knows awaits. He wonders if Sebastian ever has nightmares, and then Blaine's feels incredibly uncomfortable because what if he has one tonight? Who is he kidding? He always has them… Sebastian's going to hate him, he solemnly decides.
"It's weird…" Sebastian says, not looking up from his computer, "sharing my room."
"Our room." Blaine corrects.
He accidentally gives Sebastian an unforgiving look, but shuts it down as soon as he's aware of it. The look was supposed to be an inward gesture, and although he feels bad, Blaine does find the mistake a little funny. Sebastian must have caught it though, because he's looking a little offended. His reaction makes it funnier, and Blaine bites back a laugh. He has an inkling that Sebastian isn't on the receiving end of those kinds of looks often.
"Whatever. I was just saying it's weird."
Blaine sits up and shrugs. He's curious how Sebastian utilized this space in the fall, but he's sure he'll find out soon enough. Old habits die hard, right?
The two of them enter another stretch of silence, but ten minutes in Blaine starts to fidget. He's afraid of falling asleep before Sebastian so he spends the next interval of time checking on his new friend, glancing over his shoulder to make sure everything is still safe.
Blaine's way too obvious in his attempts to spy, because every time he chooses to steal a look Sebastian is smirking back, his head cocked to the side in silent accusation.
The third time he's caught, Sebastian winks, and Blaine's immediately engulfed in humiliation. He's disgusted with his behavior, and all Blaine wants to do is sink indefinitely into his mattress and hide from the wave of mortification enveloping his entire body.
He stops glancing.
Eventually Sebastian tires of whatever game their playing, and he flings himself confidently off of his bed. He takes his shirt off in the process, and turns his back on Blaine.
Blaine can't tell, but he's pretty sure Sebastian's smiling from the way his cheeks are raised against the white of their wall. Then it hits him. Sebastian is getting undressed. Sebastian is getting undressed and they're alone, what if? Oh god, what if?
"W-what are you doing?" Blaine stammers, a million dangerous thoughts coming to life all at once. He wants to get past this unwarranted paranoia, but he's weak so he settles with asking questions.
"Changing?" Sebastian disputes with sarcasm. Blaine decides to remain voiceless as he memorizes the freckles on Sebastian's back. Months from now he might be able to joke about his phone being set to 911, but not today. He's frightened and realizing this, perhaps out of discomfort, Sebastian teases, "Like what you see, gorgeous?"
Blaine hates that he can't control his embarrassment. His face is painted red within seconds, and he chokes on any form of reply. He's frozen once more… exhausted and frozen. He's gone back and forth enough today, and Blaine's starting to think he's set the bar to high for himself again.
"What?" Sebastian says shortly. "Playing hard to get?" He falters on his last sentence, and Blaine knows it's because he's turned around. He's sure the look on his face is unmistakable, because Blaine feels utterly insignificant right now.
"Sebastian." He warns darkly. There are about a million things he wants to scream, but he doesn't know where to begin. The brunette waits to hear what Blaine has to say, but he's too flustered to continue.
When the air clears Sebastian tries to redirect the conversation. "Loosen up, it's not like I'm trying to fuck you." At that moment Sebastian gets a text, and after typing a short reply he looks up with a smirk. "Speaking of… Duty calls."
His green eyes are guarded for a moment. They say something that his words do not, but Blaine can't figure it out, so instead he waits for Sebastian to close the door and stuffs his head under his pillow to scream.
He's pathetic.
He's worthless, dirty, and used.
These are the thoughts Blaine eventually falls asleep to. They welcome him triumphantly into a deep restless chain of self-degradation- what else is new- and for the millionth time since the incident, Blaine wakes up aware of a scream, and although he can't feel himself doing it, he's sure it's his own.