A/N: Hey guys! Sorry for the delay, I had company over last week and didn't have free time to write, edit, and post. I also had a little trouble getting things right. This was a tough one. Jackson of all people gave me trouble, and I hope I got his voice right. I want to thank all of you who left a review! It really does help, especially your feedback on different perspectives. I am planning on trying a few more as the story continues, so look out for those. I am going on vacation next week, so I may or may not have access to the internet to post. I will be writing however, and will update as soon as I can. After that, I should be back on a regular weekly update schedule. Here is chapter 2. Thank you for reading and let me know what you think!

Ignorance is bliss. That's what they say. Not knowing is sometimes better than knowing. It's a double edged sword. When you don't know all the facts, your mind has room to run in both directions. You can imagine that the very worst has happened. Or, your imagination can give you a reason to hope. Maybe things aren't that bad. Both mind sets are results of not knowing. When you know the truth, it's final. The magic of possibility is gone. And sometimes so is hope.

At the sound of a ring from her phone, Miranda rolled over and groaned as the morning sunlight shone in her eyes. Next to her Ben reached an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. She let herself relax into his embrace. It was her day off, and she was not going to get up until she was good and ready.

Not today. Nope.

Last night, Miranda and Ben had made a huge decision about their future, and today was a free day, and Tuck was with his father. Today, they were celebrating. So no amount of buzzing from her beeper, chirps from her cell phone, text message alerts, and God knows what else, was going to get her out of this bed at this hour. Nope.

Something beeped again, and Ben groaned and mumbled, "Is that yours or mine?"

"De-I do not know. I do not care," she said firmly, turning over. "It is my day off and I am taking the day off. Hospital can live a day without us."

"Ah," Ben replied squinting at the two phones and pagers that sat on the nightstand next to the bed. "Okay. It's your pager by the way...and your phone."

"Ben, what did I say about it being my day off?"

Miranda sniffed and closed her eyes again, hoping to catch her last bits of drowsiness, willing herself to fall asleep again. Ben remained stretched over to the table.

"Miranda," he said slowly.

"I don't want to hear it-"

"Miranda," Ben said again, more urgently. "You've got 56 pages. 911. From Dr. Webber."

Her the inflection of her voice rose in shock, "What?"

Ben carefully handed her the small device. Miranda rubbed her eyes and squinted at the screen. Well, damn. There it was. 56 emergency pages. Webber knew it was her day off though. All her patients were stable. And she wasn't on call.

"All from Dr. Webber..."

Her fiance nodded and shifted to look at her phone, "You have a 100 missed calls. Some from Webber; a few from Hunt. Even Dr. Karev. Must be something important."

"Must be..."

Suddenly, Miranda was fully awake. She sat up and grabbed the phone from Ben. Her body ran cold. Something was wrong. She didn't know what it was, but something told her she wouldn't like it. She needed to get in touch with Dr. Webber. She needed to get to the hospital.

Quickly.

It was cold.

So freaking cold. She was a damn Popsicle in the woods. They should have kept the stupid fire going. Somehow. If girl scouts could do it, why the hell would surgeons fail?

It was cold.

That was all Cristina knew as she drifted in and out of sleep. Well, that and the fact that her shoulder hurt. She was now beginning to suspect a torn rotater cuff rather than a simple dislocation. Those usually dropped in pain level after they were set, but Cristina's arm still throbbed and had shooting pains if she moved it in particular ways.

But damned if that mattered, because Cristina was in the middle of the freaking woods. So damn cold that the joints in her fingers cracked whenever she moved them. It sucked. The plane crashed. Lexie was dead. And it all sucked. Everything. Seattle Grace Mercy Death. The most cursed hospital and staff there ever was. She should have had the sense to leave sooner.

And Cristina was terrified that she wasn't going to make it out of this. Maybe none of them were. Perhaps their luck had run out. She hadn't heard much from anyone recently. Not Mark or Arizona. Derek or the pilot. And she was too damn cold to check. She only knew Mer was still alive because she could hear her ragged breaths. Other than that, the woods were damn quiet.

Quiet, quiet, quiet.

Cristina figured that a bird or something would start chirping even since the pale light of early dawn had begun to creep through the trees around here. But no. Even stupid nature had decided to say "Screw you guys!"

She shifted closer to Meredith and let her eyes droop again. She thought about Owen. Surely he'd come find them. He'd send people; the best he could find. She believed that. She'd have believed that. Before...everything. The abortion. The resentment. The cheating. The crash. She wanted to believe it now. They'd both made mistakes. She wanted to believe she'd live to fix them. She wished she'd told him she loved him more.

But Cristina was a realist. She made observations and made diagnoses based on tangible evidence. And all the evidence around her told her that this was probably it. Her mind drifted inexplicably to her father. There'd been a moment with him. Trapped in the car. When he'd accepted it. When her father had understood that he was dying. She'd seen it in his eyes.

And this right now? This was her freaking moment.

Except...

Cristina was roused from her musings somewhat by the sounds of rustling. And more rustling. Possibly dogs barking. Or a chopper? And voices? Her dazed mind slowly began to comprehend. Could it be?

"Helllooo?" A strange voice echoed through the chilly silent woods. "I'm Ranger Toby. Anyone out there?"

Struggling to make her cold and aching body cooperate, Cristina tried to call out a response, but only a hoarse whisper came out.

Come on! Come on. She swallowed hard and tried again, this time with better results, "Here! We're over here! Our plane crashed! Help!"

The rustling shifted and the voice called out again, "Keep making noise Ma'am, we're closing in on your position."

"Good! That's...good," Cristina sighed. She continued to shout, giving the rangers a basic run down of everyone's injuries as best she could.

Soon in the dim morning light she could see them. A huge team of rescuers, with dogs and radios and blankets! They seemed to appear out of nowhere, emerging from the foggy trees.

She felt suddenly giddy. Cristina grinned and nudged Meredith, "Wake up! We're saved. They're here."

Her friend didn't reply so she shook her harder, "We're saved!"

The grin fell from Cristina's face when she pushed Meredith to one side and her friend only flopped over.

No. No! Their saviors were right freakin' here. It wasn't supposed to go down like this. End like this. Not with Meredith thinking she wasn't...Cristina's person because...she still was. For better or for worse. Even if Owen was sort of her person too. This wasn't how it was supposed to end. Not like this.

"Mer?" Cristina's voice became frantic. "Mer!"

Jackson took a deep breath and opened his eyes, slowly blinking. He yawned and stretched. It was early. Jackson was stiff. Very stiff. That's what you get for spending the night on the floor leaning against your best friend's bed. Not that he'd have had a better night sleeping in his own room. At least with April's warm body pressed against his side, Jackson hadn't had any nightmares.

As he came more fully awake, he was amused to realize that a tiny foot was resting on his shoulder. It made him smirk. Both April and Zola still slept on slumped next to him. Or in Zola's case, half sprawled on Jackson and half on April. She looked comfortable at least. And peaceful. His expression became more somber as he carefully lowered her leg to his lap. Given everything that was going on, he figured that she deserved as much peace and comfort as she could get. Because it probably wasn't going to last.

Glancing to his left, Jackson took a moment to watch April as she slept. In the morning sunlight, the her red hair was just that much more beautiful and the angles of her face, especially her cheeks, were that much more pronounced. For the moment she appeared to be at peace too, breathing deeply and for the first time in days, seeming to be totally relaxed. As she slept on, Jackson indulged himself and carefully pushed her hair behind her ear. He wondered if this is what it would have felt like. If he had stayed the night after the sex in San Diego. Jackson thought it would have been nice. Waking up next to her. Maybe it would have been better. For him, and for her.

And waking up next to April now, to April and a sleeping child? It was enough to set his confusion on a new course. Because Jackson realized he could get used to this. He realized he might want to.

It wasn't like he hadn't noticed that April was pretty before. Jackson had always thought so. He remembered thinking that on their first day back at Mercy West. He'd been joking around with Charles, watching the rest of the interns show up for their orientation. And Reed had come in, and Jessica Foster, Grady, and a few others. And April of course, looking timid and terrified, with her head bent over her tiny ass note book and her pen at the ready. Grady had joked about already picking out the hotties and the mice. Charles and Jackson had half heartedly joined in the game, with Percy immediately revealing his preference for Adamson.

Then Grady had rolled his eyes and inclined his eyes toward April, whispering, "Well, I think we can safely say we know who the mousiest of the mice is..."

"Nah," Jackson had shook his head, watching as April peered out at the rest of the group from her place at the back of the room. He thought she was hiding. Scared probably. Years of listening to his mother's musings on hospital hierarchy, made Jackson guess, correctly, that she was probably a first generation med school grad. Someone who didn't come from money either. Someone who had to work to get this spot. Hard to get to where she was. That's why she was quiet. Seemed scared. Because people like April were afraid that one mistake could take all they'd earned away. And she was surrounded by some cocky and ungrateful people. Mercy West had had their fair share.

That's why she seemed timid. Hiding behind her flat hair and over-sized watch. But Jackson could see that behind the hair and the submissive posture, April was beautiful. She just didn't seem to know it at the time.

"She's a flower," Jackson continued, shrugging. "She hasn't bloomed yet."

Grady had snorted and exchanged a glance with Charles, "Mini Mouse doesn't seem like pretty boy's type."

Dude had always been an ass. He hadn't lasted after the merger. And Charles and Reed had died.

"She's not," Jackson had replied. And at the time that had been true. He'd gone for the gorgeous, badass, over the top types. And he'd never had a problem finding them, or getting them to go out with him or to warm his bed. It was all Jackson had wanted at the time. Relationships, commitment, and all that jazz messed with your game. And even before he knew she was a virgin, Jackson had known she wasn't the type to sleep around. Beautiful or not, he'd never considered April in that way.

Jackson had tried to take her under his wing a little bit. To help her toughen up, and to stop everyone from being too horrible to her. Because it had taken only 3 days of interning with her to know that whatever foibles and annoying traits she had, April was a good person. Genuinely good. Caring, compassionate, modest. So, he acted like a buddy. A teasing, protecting, advice giving buddy. And that had been fine.

And then the shooting had happened...and April became all Jackson had left of his friendships at Mercy West. They'd both lost their best friends. No one else understood that. So, his friendship with her had deepened. She became his rock; his support. The one person he could go to and be himself, and not that Jackson Avery. Or that hot guy. Or that lame surgeon. April treated him like he was just Jackson. She became his best friend. At least he'd thought it was friendship. Before... but now?

It was just now he felt had woken up deep inside of him. Jackson had seen a part of April that no one else ever had. Touched a part of her that no one else had. Ever. And he felt that was awesome. He couldn't stop thinking about it. Which was quite the thing really, because it wasn't, technically speaking, the best sex he'd ever had.

Well, it was and it wasn't.

If you were being objective, and just looking at the physical act. Acts. Jackson would be lying to himself if he said it was his best. Both the hotel room and the bathroom had had their awkward moments, fumbles, pauses, and redirects. Physically, April was still learning. And Jackson knew that he should have stopped. Prevented things. Nipped it all in the bud. But he hadn't. And it on the physical side of things, it certainly hadn't been bad. Not at all. It was better than Jackson had suspected, all things considered. Much. Which was why he knew he would never really oppose doing it again. Even though he knew he probably should.

And emotionally? Jackson had never felt anything like it. The emotional satisfaction he had through sleeping with April was the reason he couldn't get the memories out of his mind. The reason he couldn't stop fantasizing. Because he'd known the whole time that it was really good for April. He knew how, and he cared, so he'd made sure. He wasn't some idiot she'd gone home from a bar with, some pervy old attending, or some asshole like Karev. Her first time had felt good for her. She'd laughed. Which had made his heart soar. She'd felt great things. Before it had all gotten awkward.

That was the emotional payoff. Knowing that April enjoyed herself made Jackson feel really really good. That was the reason his night with April (and the day after) could be counted as the best. The reason he couldn't stop thinking about it. About her.

Even though April had taken him completely by surprise, and made him wonder if he really knew her at all. With the Jesus stuff. Not that he thought it was completely out of character for her. She'd always had morals. And people teased her about lots of things. He could see her wanting to hide her beliefs. Jackson just felt bad that she'd never trusted him enough to tell him about it. He still didn't know how he felt about April's religion actually. He wished he knew more.

And then April had failed. And all lost her job offers. And he felt bad. It was his fault. She'd had way too much going on professionally to deal with losing her virginity. Especially because of the God thing, even if he hadn't known about it to begin with. It was too much stress and change for her to deal with. And as her friend, best friend, he should have anticipated that. She'd been a mess that day.

Only, that evening, April had been so...she'd punched a guy! Grown a backbone. Stood up for herself, in her own clumsy way. Kissed Jackson with confidence. She'd bloomed. For a moment anyway. Even if the religion thing made her feel bad, the rest had been awesome to see.

Jackson was worried because he didn't feel douchier about the whole thing. Even after everything that had happened, he couldn't bring himself to regret taking April's virginity. He wasn't a gross guy. Maybe Jackson hadn't seen her in a romantic way before, but he definitely thought he could now. He did. Jackson already loved April in a way, and he didn't think it would take much to push it further.

And that was why he felt confused. Sick about leaving her and going to Tulane. Because Jackson had no idea whether April would ever possibly consider exploring something like that with him. They needed to talk. She'd never really shown that kind of interest in him before. Even though she'd initiated the sex. Maybe he was just a convenient penis. A way for her to finally just get it over with. The thought made him wince, sadly.

Damn it.

He knew April felt guilty. And she didn't want to talk. Then there was this plane crap to worry about. Not exactly the right time to say something. Besides, Jackson didn't really know what to say. He only knew they needed to talk, in order to move forward. Either way, to save their friendship or to start something new. He refused to lose April over all this. He'd rather be her friend if he couldn't have anything more. He'd settle for that.

Jackson glanced down and realized that a pair of inquisitive brown eyes were staring up at him. Zola was awake. She frowned and stretched her body experimentally, looking around the room.

"Ma?" she said, chewing on the ear of her stuffed giraffe, apparently wide awake. "Dada?"

Jackson groaned and shook his head saying quietly, "Not yet, Zola-face. I'm sorry."

Her lower lip quivered and tears filled her little eyes. Poor little kid. She had no way of understanding anything that was going on. Even less than the rest of them. From her perspective her mommy and daddy had left her at home to go to work, and never came back. And if the plane really had crashed, as Jackson knew deep down it had, then it was highly possible that that was true. They might never come back.

Shifting to look down at her, Jackson spoke comfortingly, rocking from side to side, "It's hard to be with strange people, huh? We used to live with you...remember? That makes it a little better, I guess. Still sucks."

April snorted, and suddenly jerked awake, shaking her head and muttering, "Baby's awake!"

Unable to stop himself from touching her, Jackson ran one hand down her arm, "Hey, easy...you had baby duty yesterday morning. It's like-"

He squinted at the clock on her nightstand. It was early. "6:16 am. Sleep a little more. I got Zola. I can handle getting her some cheerios for breakfast."

April squinted at Jackson suspiciously and rubbed her neck. "It's my responsibility. I told Meredith-"

"Let me help, okay? Gives me something to do..." he replied pulling Zola into his lap. That much was true. Caring for Zola and April would keep his mind of Sloan and the rest. She still looked skeptical.

"Believe me," he added, teasing. "The minute she needs a diaper change or something nasty like that, she's all yours!"

That made April laugh. One of her true, honest, goofy belly laughs. He hadn't heard her laugh like that in a while. It made Jackson smile. It felt like the first time in ages that things weren't strained between them. Or off. It was nice, even if the circumstances weren't great.

"You know she probably needs one now..." April said quietly, leaning away from his shoulder and giving him what he swore was coy look.

"Well, then I can call the hospital and check for news, while you deal with that. And I'll get cheerios figured out for all of us. Let me help you April," Jackson pleaded. He needed to do that at least.

She bit her lip and looked him in the eye, considering his offer. Finally, April nodded and answered, "Okay."

Owen's stomach fell to the deepest depths of the earth as he listened to a man on the other end of a phone update him on the missing plane. They'd found them. Hunt supposed he should be glad for that. The news wasn't that everyone was dead.

"Two dead. Five injured."

That's what the man was saying. That was all that the FAA knew at this point. They coordinated with park rangers and found the crash site on foot. They couldn't tell him who was alive and who wasn't. There was a 2 in 7 chance that his wife was dead. Owen was trying to get the guy to tell him more.

"What hospital are you taking the...survivors to?"

"At this point we are still dealing with a triage situation in the woods," the voice on the other line continued. "We are being extra careful bringing helicopters up there. Don't want another crash situation. It's likely that they'll be transported to Boise Memorial. That's closer."

Closer, but inferior in terms of quality. That was why his people had been headed to Idaho in the first place. Boise didn't have the caliber of surgeons that Seattle Grace did. But Owen was too tired and too shocked to argue the point. And he was a trauma surgeon. If two of them had died, the rest were probably in no condition to be moved very far anyway. Not even for better care. If the search and rescue team could get them stable enough to move, the shorter journey would probably be the safest. Unless they were really bad, and it was deemed worth the risk to send them somewhere better.

"Stand by Chief Hunt; I'm getting word on the names of the deceased."

Owen ran a hand through his messy hair and fought back tears. He'd spent the night at the hospital. Not sleeping for the most part. He'd managed to get an hour or so curled up in an on-call room before this phone call had pulled him back to everything.

"Dr. Hunt?"

"Yes?"

"We're actually airlifting the survivors to Spokane. St. John's. They're pretty bad."

Owen could only barely allow himself to feel relief. That was a better hospital. But he had to know. Who didn't make it? Who was dead?

"Samson. Jerry Samson."

"I don't know that name..." Owen said in a rush. Must be the pilot. He felt sick but irrationally happy because that meant only one of his surgeons had died. Terrible.

"And Grey."

His stomach lurched and his mind raced. Owen continued frantically, both desperate and reluctant to hear the answer, "Grey? Which Grey?"

"Uh," the man faltered. "Um..."

Come on. Come on! Either way, it was devastating. Lexie was so young, so smart. Full of promise. And Meredith? She was Cristina's best friend. And whether she liked him very much, Owen knew she played a key role in the hospital. Losing either Grey was unacceptable, even if it had already happened.

"Lexie. Lexie Grey. They were both dead by the time our team found the crash site, sir. I'm sorry."

Owen closed his eyes, and couldn't help but let a tear fall now. He was unable to reply, but the FAA man continued, apparently having more to say.

"We've got a Mark Sloan, Meredith Grey and...Arizona Robbins listed as critical. Derek Shepherd and Cristina Yang are in serious condition."

He sank down to the on-call bed, numb with relief. Cristina was alive. His wife was alive for now. He felt guilty, because Lexie wasn't alive. He had no right to feel as oddlyhappy as he did.

"Hello? Hello?"

Owen gulped, and tried to pull himself together. He had to do this. Hunt couldn't let himself fall apart in grief or joy or any of it. No matter how much he wanted to. he'd failed last night. Now, he had to lead. At least, Owen knew he had to try.

"Uh, thank you...I will relay this information to my people. Thank you for all you have done, and keep me posted on their situation."

It was 7 freakin' am before Alex finally slunk through the apartment door, with a stiff neck and wrinkled clothes. He'd stayed with Torres all night, and neither of them had gotten much sleep. They'd spent most of the night trying to get through to the FAA, but the bastard's wouldn't tell them anything. Or rather, they hadn't had any information to share. It sucked.

The only thing that hadn't totally sucked about the whole thing was the fact that Callie didn't seem to be mad at Alex. He thought she probably should be, considering that Robbins had taken his freakin' seat on the plane. It was his fault for her even being out there. But only moments after Alex had explained what was going on, Torres had leaned close to him and squeezed his shoulder.

"This isn't your fault," she'd said. And Alex could almost believe her. He wanted to.

And then Callie had just gotten fed up so she'd gotten ready and gotten Sofia ready and just headed to the hospital. She figured she'd find out what was going on faster if she was there. Alex was going to join her too. He just needed a shower and a clean pair of pants and whatever. And he figured he owed it to Mer to check up on Zola, even if he knew Kepner and Avery could do a solid enough babysitting job. So he'd run home.

As he moved through the quiet apartment, Alex heard the shower running in the back and a babbling baby in the kitchen. He could eat, so he headed in, expecting to find that Avery was in the shower, and April was getting breakfast set for Zola. He never expected to find Jackson, standing behind Zola's booster chair with a comb in his teeth and two sections of the little girl's hair in his hands. Alex sniffed as he heard the shower turn of, and April begin to rummage around in her room.

It was all strangely domestic. Avery dealing with a kid, and Kepner upstairs. Made him almost feel like a freaking third wheel. As if.

"Dude!" Alex said skeptically as he made his way to the refrigerator. "What's with the Avery barbershop?"

Zola looked up at him, grinned, and stick another cheerio into her mouth. Jackson only rolled his eyes and took the comb out of his mouth, continuing his work, "Leave it alone man. I'm an Avery...we know these things. I can do her hair better than April."

He paused and then added,"Don't tell her I said that."

"You want to claim that as an accomplishment, it's fine by me. Whatever, I won't blab about it."

"You heard any news?"

Alex shook his head and pulled an apple from the lowest drawer of the fridge, biting into it loudly as he replied, "Nada. And Torres and I spent most of the night calling the FAA and the asses didn't have anything to tell us."

"Damn it," Jackson's face fell slightly. Alex understood the feeling. It was torture not to know what was going on. At this point he thought it'd be better to know, even if it was the worst. It would be better to know if they had all died, instead of wondering about it.

Swallowing quickly and trying to change the subject, Alex asked, "Things go okay with you guys here?"

His roommate nodded, carefully trying a little bow on the end of one meticulously crafted braid, "Yeah...Zola was a little fussy and I think she's really just tolerating us, but who can blame her?"

"Right..." Alex looked at his feet, thinking of both Zola and Sofia. This was a crap deal for both little girls. He cared about both of them, and he hated that hospital bad luck and crap had to mess up their lives.

"But April got things under control. Everyone slept a bit..." Avery continued.

Alex squinted a little bit and took another bite of his apple, contemplating the way that Jackson spoke about their female roommate. Something had been off between them lately, and he'd had neither the time nor the energy to figure it out. He'd been dealing with his own Hopkins stuff. Probably the weirdness was just because Avery would be off to Tulane or whatever. And Kepner...didn't really have anywhere to go. They were close, so it had to be hard.

"Cool."

A newly dressed April strode into the kitchen with damp hair and immediately turned to Alex, asking urgently, "Have you heard anything?"

"No one knows freaking anything," Alex said through another mouthful of apple. "Hunt's a mess. Torres is a mess. Webber's getting pissed off. I don't even-"

Just then, as though the universe knew exactly what they were talking about, all three of their pagers loudly went off at once. The unexpected noise startled Zola and made her cry, so Kepner rushed forward and lifted the girl out of her chair, cuddling her close. Avery scrambled for his pager, as Alex whipped his out of his pocket, grabbing his first.

"It's Hunt!" he said, staring at the other two with wide eyes. "Says get to the hospital right away. Conference room."

April let out a small noise and Jackson's shoulders sank a little. Alex could see the apprehension on their faces. A meeting in the conference room probably meant that Hunt had news to share. News that was bad enough he couldn't do it over a phone call. As Alex had said, this wasn't a situation where phone calls couldn't cut it really.

Alex was overcome by an enormous sense of dread. Any news wasn't going to be good news. There was just no freakin' way.

April sat at the farthest end of the conference room table, between Jackson and the old Chief, and stared at her hands. She felt mildly out of place. Everyone here had deep, deep connections to the people on the plane. Connections they knew that Lexie, Derek, Meredith, Cristina, Mark and Arizona reciprocated. And while April very much considered these people friends, and cared for them more than they knew, she was never really sure if any of them actually saw her as more than an annoying nuisance. Or a handy cook. Or a babysitter. April couldn't be sure they would all want her here. Whether they'd want her to be one of the first to find out what had happened to them.

They'd dropped everything and rushed here, pausing only to drop Zola off upstairs in daycare. Alex had been sulky and angry, while Jackson had tried to hide his feelings in front of April and Zola. She knew he was freaking out a lot though. She could tell from the way he drove the car, how he set his jaw and the way his hands gripped the steering wheel. Jackson was really close to Mark Sloan. And, April knew he cared deeply for Lexie, even if he'd broken up with her. Even if he wasn't in love with her.

It was stupid to think of this, especially right now, she knew, but a small part of her was jealous that Jackson might love Lexie. Another part of her was jealous wondering whether any of the people missing or those gathered here would give even half a damn if something bad was happening to her. Something as bad as this that is. She wasn't sure they would. They never really noticed when other things went bad for her. They probably wouldn't really care if she died. Except Jackson. He would care. She was his last friend from Mercy West.

April shook her shoulders slightly, berating herself. There it was again. Her selfishness at it's best. She really should be better. No wonder the rest of them didn't care. She was too selfish to bother with. She was selfish and petty and annoying, and she didn't blame them for not liking her. April had tried liking herself, and in light of her behavior in San Francisco, she was beginning to fear that she still wasn't very likable at all. Or maybe she was just being hard on herself. This was a stressful time after all.

Now, April could only brace herself and wait anxiously, along with everyone else in the room, for Hunt to come in and tell them what was going on. Callie, and Bailey both had taken places at the front of the conference room, while herself Jackson and Webber ended up toward the back. Alex paced aimlessly around the room, getting more and more agitated and angry the longer they waited. April wished there was something she could do to comfort all of them. She wanted nothing more than to take away their fear. To erase the worried lines on their foreheads, and relax the tension they all displayed. Or course the only way to do that would be to erase the past, oh 48 hours or so and April knew that was impossible. No matter how much she prayed to the God she wasn't sure was listening. A God she wasn't even sure was there anymore.

And yet...she was still silently praying. Please, please, please.

Suddenly the doors opened, and in strode an ashen looking Chief Hunt. April immediately dreaded what he was going to say, and felt for him. She knew he was going to tell them something awful, and at this moment his position wasn't enviable at all. But here he was, plowing forward. Soldiering on. April knew she'd failed Owen as a pupil, miserably, not passing boards and everything, but she really trying to take his advice on board. Be a soldier. It had kept her going and grounded through all of this. They would both need it now.

"I have been in touch with the FAA," Owen began slowly, burying his hands in his pockets. The whole room seemed to take a collective gasp and Chief Hunt continued. "They have located the crash site, and...they are airlifting the survivors to St. John's in Spokane."

The room was so silent, the April was sure they could hear their own heart's racing if they listened hard enough.

Owen winced and continued haltingly, "I don't know much about everyone's specific injuries, but I have confirmation that Mark Sloan, Meredith Grey and Arizona Robbins are in stable but critical condition."

Callie let out a strangled sob and Bailey bit her lip, clutching the orthopedic surgeon's hands tightly. Alex seemed to deflate and he closed his eyes.

"Cristina Yang and Derek Shepherd are also stable, and they are reported to be in serious condition..."

Owen paused, gulping and looking around the table, as though he was allowing that part of his news sink in. Before he got to the rest. April felt that the relief, if you could call finding out your friends were gravely injured a relief, they were feeling was definitely going to be short lived. Hunt had said 'survivors', which invariably meant that there was a non-survivor. Someone hadn't made it. And you didn't need to be a rocket scientist to figure out who.

"And Little Grey?" Bailey asked urgently and tearfully, obviously still clinging to the last shred of hope. The hope that came from not actually hearing the words. The hope that came from Owen's omission in his condition report. Bailey needed to hear it said out loud. April thought that maybe they all did. Hunt swallowed and looked sadly at everyone's faces. She was starting to feel sick.

"What about Little Grey, Chief?" Webber prompted, the crack in his voice revealing that he knew full well what the answer would be.

April bit her lip and held back a wave of tears. Jackson stared blankly at the table.

"The pilot, and..." Hunt's voice wavered. "Lexie...they...they didn't make it."

The room collectively shuddered and most began to cry. Alex cursed loudly and sat down next to Callie wrapping an arm around her shoulder. Bailey was crying freely, jaw set and shaking her head. Webber had his hand over his mouth. April resisted her own urge to break down completely and turned immediately to Jackson. However she was feeling, and she was feeling pretty horrible, April was sure that he was feeling worse. Sloan was his mentor. Lexie his ex-girlfriend. They were closer to him. Whatever had happened between them, Jackson needed April to be the strong one in this. She had to be the person he leaned on.

She tentatively placed a hand on his back and Jackson leaned over to her shoulder, suddenly shaking.

"Jackson, I'm...I don't even...I can't-"April didn't know what to say. She decided there really wasn't anything she could say. Instead she pulled him close and let him be.

"Oh my God. Oh," Jackson whispered in horror. "My god."

God.

God?

It was so staggeringly unbelievable to April in this moment that God could allow something like this to happen. It had been bad enough reconciling the shooting and the loses of Reed and Charles two years ago. Now April didn't know what she believed. Lexie was a good person. She'd tried. They might not have always seen eye to eye, but April knew that. She worked hard. She was younger than April. And her life was over. Just like that. She was gone.

It just wasn't fair. April knew it wasn't really her place to judge, but she felt certain that Lexie didn't deserve death. In a world where God existed, how could this happen? She was hard pressed for the answer.

"I know," April murmured. She could only shake her head, sniffing as her own tears fell, running her hands soothingly down Jackson's arms. "I know."