Noon can't come soon enough for Sam. He's been standing in a store window for nearly three hours now. He's cold, shirtless, and barefoot. He feels like a piece of meat. Sadly quitting his job is not an option. If he were to be jobless then he'd have to move back home as part of his deal with his father. If he was old enough to move out after completing therapy then his father said if he wanted to keep his new trust fund he'd better get a job and not be a bum living on his boyfriend's dime.
The manager tells Sam good job and sends him to the back to clock out and change. He decides to do a little shopping and get a few new clothes for him and Finn. Finn's pants barely fit him at this point. The poor boy had to wear Kurt's loose fitting jeans, which on Finn were still just as baddy on him, than anything else he had in his closet. He grabs a couple different sizes for Finn to try on at home and he gets a cool scarf for Kurt and a new belt for Blaine. He picks out a couple of polos for himself and uses his discount to pay for everything, which was already on sale.
Sam heads to the food court and finds Blaine sitting at a table eating a slice of Pizza. "You know Kurt's gonna be mad that you're eating Pizza, since you said you were on a diet."
Blaine jumps and nearly chokes on a pepperoni. He hadn't noticed Sam walking up to him. "Dude are you ok?" Sam asks patting Blaine on the back.
"Ugh, yeah I'm fine just nearly had a death by pepperoni incident…that'll land me on 1000 Ways to Die for sure. But, you my friend are in it deep with Finn." Blaine says looking up at Sam.
Sam takes the seat next to Blaine. "What do you mean? What did I do?"
"I don't really know how to say this, but are you cheating on Finn?" Blaine asks cautiously.
"WHAT? NO! I could never do that. I love Finn. Why would you … does he? Oh God I've got to fix this…whatever it is." Sam is flustered and Blaine puts a hand on the blonde's shoulder to calm him.
"Finn asked Kurt this morning, and he said some stuff that makes you sound like you're fooling around with Puck. He even said you snuck out last night and when you came back you….smelled like Puck's cologne." Sam's heart sinks because he's knows he' going to have to come clean with Finn and be honest about his feelings.
"Blaine I'm no cheating on Finn with Puck." Sam says sternly.
"Then what are you doing? 'Cause sneaking out and coming back smelling like your BF's bff doesn't exactly scream innocence to me." Blaine says slightly cocking his head to the right.
"I swear I'm not. It's just I'm scared to tell Finn how worried I am about him." Sam says softly.
"Dude that's crazy, Finn loves you and he knows you worry about him. We all do." Blaine says being blunt.
"I don't want him to see me crying or scared. I want him to see me happy and smiling, so that way he won't worry about me. I want him to focus on getting better and staying alive, because if he dies … I'll die." Sam slumps in his chair and he holds back his pain.
"Sam, Finn would kill you if you died. The boy would rise up out of the ground, revive you and then kill you again, just for dying. Trust me Finn and I have both had this discussion. If something happened to me and Kurt killed himself to be with me I'd kick his butt the second I saw him. You, Sam Evans are going to live a long and happy life, and no matter what, living or dead, Finn will always be with you." Blaine's words are barely comforting and Sam gets up from his seats.
Sam grabs his bags and walks away without saying a word. Tears are starting to form in his eyes. He walks faster trying to avoid eye contact with other people. He focuses on the ground not wanting to see the happy couples smiling and holding hands while they shop for Christmas presents. Suddenly he finds himself on the floor. He looks up and realizes he's walked right into Puck. Puck was the last person Sam wanted to see.
"Sammy boy, why so blue? Do you wanna go somewhere and talk?" Puck asks helping his friend to his feet.
"I can't talk right now. Finn thinks I'm screwing you and I need to fix this so I have to go." Sam says pushing Puck away from him as he runs off.
….
Finn is lying on the couch watching a movie with his head in Kurt's lap. He's been crying for the past few hours. Vomiting too, but that's beside the point. Kurt has tried to console him, but Finn just keeps remembering how Quinn and Rachel both cheated on him when they were together and Quinn cheated on Sam with him so maybe this was all some plot to get revenge. Kurt kept telling him how stupid that idea was, but Finn wouldn't listen. So Kurt did the only logical thing he could think of. He broke the emergency gallon of double chocolate fudge ice cream and two spoons. He put a sad movie in the DVD player and he let Finn have his pity party.
It's now half past twelve and they both hear someone unlocking the door. The door opens and Sam walks in and he's clearly been crying.
Tears of guilt I bet. Finn thinks loudly to himself.
"Kurt can…I talk to Finn alone please?" Sam asks choking back a sob.
"Yeah, I'll go pick Blaine up from work, seeing as you two drove their together in your car." Kurt says getting up. He grabs a coat and his keys and heads out to get Blaine. Sam takes a seat next to Finn's head. Finn sits up and starts to walk off. Sam grabs his hand. Finn looks back at Sam and can see it in his fiancé's eyes that he needs to listen to him. He sits back down next to Sam.
"Finn I am so sorry for sneaking out at night and for hiding things from you. But baby, you have to know that I would never cheat on you." Sam squeezes Finn's hand tightly and his eyes are filled with remorse.
"Sam, please tell me what's going on. You've never acted like this before. I don't like feeling like this. I don't like thinking that out of everyone I've ever been with you would do that to me. When Quinn cheated and when Rachel cheated, they smelled like his cologne and when you came home last night I smelled that same smell and I thought that…I thought that because we haven't had sex in so long that maybe you were getting it from him." Finn starts to cry and Sam pulls him in, holding him tightly like he never wants to let go.
"Finn I'm so sorry I made you feel that way, it's just Puck has been helping me deal with all of this. I've been afraid to tell you that I'm scared out of my mind all of the time." Sam lets go of Finn o that he can finish speaking.
"I look at you and I see you smiling at me like I'm the only person in the world and it scares me that I could lose you. Baby I worry about you all the time. If you cough or sneeze I flinch. If you get a headache or dizzy I immediately think you're gonna pass out or something worse. I think about the fastest route to the hospital. I cry almost every single night after you fall asleep." Finn's mind is going everything that has happened over the past few weeks. Sam has been incredible, always putting Finn first, never asking Finn to lift a finger. The more he thinks about the little moments the more he focuses on Sam's eyes. He realizes Kurt was right Sam has been faking being happy, he was scared.
"Finn, Puck has just been helping me vent. I didn't want to worry you. I wanted you to focus on staying happy and healthy. I wanted to keep that smile on your face." Sam feels like he's just lifted a weight off his chest, but now it's been replaced with a new weight of worry.
Finn leans forward and kisses Sam. Sam melts into the kiss as he and Finn takes the kiss deeper. In this one moment Sam doesn't focus on Finn being sick. He's not worried, or thinking about cancer. He's only thinking about Finn and how much he loves him. The kiss breaks and Finn wipes a tear from Sam's cheek.
"Sam I'm so sorry that I've ignored you. I am so stupid for not seeing that you're going through all of this too." Finn says gazing deeply into Sam's eyes.
"No baby, I'm not the one who's sick. I'm the one who's supposed to be strong right now. I…" Finn presses his finger to Sam's soft lips shushing him.
"Sam, we're in this together. You and I work because we tell each other everything. When you were attacked by Ryan, I was out of my mind thinking something was wrong. You hid things from me and I thought something was wrong, just like these past few weeks. If we don't tell each other when we're hurting how are we supposed to make each other feel better?" Sam knows Finn is right.
"Finn I'm sorry I lied." Sam says softly.
"I'm sorry I didn't see that you were hurting too. Let's promise to not lie to each other about anything ever again. No matter how bad it is we'll tell each other, because I know that no matter what we do we've got each other's backs. We forgive each other even when we don't want to. And above all else we don't let fear control our relationship." Sam agrees and the two kiss once more.
The two break from the kiss. "Let's take this to the bedroom." Finn says devilishly.
"Baby I don't want to hurt you like last time." Sam says pressing his forehead to Finn's.
"Don't worry, today its all about making you feel good. I need to take care of my baby for a change." Finn says unbuckling Sam's belt.
"Finn, baby, you don't have to. I'm fine just holding you." Sam says pushing Finn's hands away.
"Sam, don't make me use the handcuffs, 'cause I will." Finn says and Sam laughs a real laugh for the first time in weeks.
Sam and Finn walk into their room. On their way there they remove each other's clothing. Each article hits the floor with a soft thud. They know Kurt will be upset about the mess. Neither cares though. For just one moment it was about the two of them taking care of one another. No worries about cancer or dealings with past trauma. It would just be them, Sam and Finn. And they were happy about it.
NEXT CHAPTER WILL MOST LIKELY FEATURE FINN'S SURGERY…..stay tuned for more. Oh and just a quick notice everyone. I will be heading out for vacation next Wednesday and won't be back until Monday. Not sure when I'll update again. Most likely at least one more before my trip to the beach for some much needed R&R. Hope you all are still enjoying the story.